


Barden Preparatory Academy

by swanqueenfic13



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Beca in Denial of her sexuality, Boarding School, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Fluff and Angst, because lets be real Beca is so in denial, maybe some side staubrey because I'm trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-28 09:55:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 80,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6324553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanqueenfic13/pseuds/swanqueenfic13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, hi guys! This is my Bechloe boarding school AU in which Beca is in denial of her sexuality, Chloe had never considered it before, and Aubrey is gay. There's some mild bullying, some strong language, maybe some smutty scenes later on (I'll warn you if those are coming up).</p>
<p> “Welcome to Barden, Beca Mitchell,” Chloe laughs, picking up a t-shirt that had fallen out of Beca’s drawers and throwing it at her. “Best four years of your life.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to Barden

**Chapter 1: Welcome to Barden**

  
  


“Beca, come on, talk to me,” her dad says. Beca just shifts in the passenger seat, glaring out the window, trying to ignore him. Her phone had died about an hour ago, so she had to stop listening to her music. She would charge it, but her dad is using the only car outlet for the GPS, so she’s stuck doing nothing, trying to ignore his attempts at conversation. Unfortunately, there was really nothing to look at in the sprawling countryside of North Dakota. Sure, it was kind of pretty, but after a few hours, it all looks the same. And if Beca has to see one more cow, or ranch, she might freak. “I know you’re a little upset with me,” her dad continues.

“I’m not  _ upset _ ,” Beca corrects harshly. “I’m  _ angry. _ I’m fucking  _ furious _ .” She ignores his cries of “language, Beca!” as she continues to rant. “You pulled me away from my home, the only place I’ve ever known! You took me away from mom, and my friends. I was supposed to start high school, and, like, have a life. You pulled me away from everything to go to some crappy, backwoods boarding school in  _ North Dakota _ , of all places!”

“Beca-”

“I don’t want to go to some stupid, Catholic boarding school with preppy uniforms, and stuck-up rich bitches who look down on me. I don’t want this!” Beca interrupts, crossing her arms and folding in on herself, glaring out the window, trying to pretend she isn’t crying. She is  _ the _ Beca Effin’ Mitchell, and she does not cry.

“Rebecca Elizabeth Mitchell, you will not talk to me that way. I am your father. Now, I know you’re angry, and upset. But we had to leave that place, you know that. And this is a well-paying job, in a good area.”

“So why do I have to go to the boarding school? Don’t they have a public school I can go to?” Beca sniffles. She doesn’t see the way her dad’s face softens, the way he tries to reach out and put a hand on her shoulder before pulling back, knowing the way his daughter stiffens under anyone’s touch. 

“Beca, I know you don’t… like the idea of a Catholic boarding school, but the Catholicism and religion isn’t a mandatory part of the curriculum. I considered sending you to the public school, but Barden is renowned for their music program, and I thought you’d enjoy that,” he explains gently. Beca just huffs, scooting as far away from him as possible, leaning her head against the window.

“Let me know when we get there,” she says gruffly, closing her eyes.

 

“You don’t have to help me unpack,” a voice shouts. Chloe cants her head to the side curiously. She doesn’t  _ like _ to eavesdrop, per say, but it’s hard not to hear the yelling. Everyone’s doors are open, except for the one with people yelling behind it. Chloe glances down at the paper in her hand with her rooming assignment. Naturally, Chloe’s room is the only room with the door closed, the room where people are yelling.

“Beca, I just-”

“Dad, I just want time to decompress by myself!” a high-pitched voice shouts back. Chloe shifts from one foot to the other. She wants to get into the room and put her bags down (they’re really heavy, and her arms are starting to hurt), but she doesn’t really want to get in the middle of what sounds like intense family drama.

“Fine, I’ll go. You know where to find me if you need me,” the older, male voice says quietly. Before Chloe can process it, the door is opening, and she’s staring at the older man, who nods at her awkwardly as he slides around her. Chloe takes a deep breath before walking into the room.

“ _ Dad _ !” the girl shrieks, whirling around. She freezes when she sees Chloe standing there holding all of her bags. “Shit, sorry,” she mumbles. Chloe just grins at her. She’s drops her bags on the ground and walks toward the girl. She’s shorter than Chloe, which is surprising since Chloe is pretty short, with brown hair that hangs just below her shoulders. Her dark eyes (Chloe can’t decide if they’re blue or gray) are ringed in thick eyeliner, and tinged with red, likely from fighting back the tears welling in them. When she tucks her hair behind her ears, Chloe takes note of the heavy earrings adorning the entire length of her earlobe and cartilage. She bites her bottom lip before extending a hand to Chloe. “I’m Beca.”

“Chloe,” she replies, smiling as she shakes her hand. Beca drops her hand first, turning to continue unpacking her things.

“Um, like, I’m not usually that, um, loud. I just…”

“Don’t always get along with dad. I get it,” Chloe finishes the sentence. Beca nods, still not facing Chloe. “Um, were you planning on taking the top bunk?” Chloe asks, her voice rising in pitch as she speaks.

“Uh, I mean, yeah, why?” Beca turns to find Chloe pouting slightly, staring at her brand new pink sheets, still in the package.

“Nothing, I just… I got here late last year, too, and I’ve never gotten the top bunk. It’s whatever,” she shrugs, sighing heavily. Beca smirks, watching this girl move around, looking like a kicked puppy as she starts toward the bottom bunk. 

“You want it?” Beca offers. Chloe looks up at her, red curls bouncing as the grin lights up her face.

“Really?” she squeals.

“Yeah, whatever, I don’t care that much,” Beca shrugs, pulling her backpack and laptop bag off the top bunk, transferring them to the floor so she can put her blue and black sheets on the bed.

“You’re the  _ best _ !” Chloe giggles, bouncing over to wrap her arms around an unsuspecting Beca. Beca just stiffens until Chloe pulls away. “Yeah, sorry, I’m a hugger.”

“‘S fine,” Beca grunts, throwing her blankets haphazardly on the bed, barely covering the fitted sheet. What was the point in making her bed if she would just mess it up later?

“Oh, you can’t leave the bed like that,” Chloe says, hopping off the bunk.

“Oh, you’re not a neat freak, are you?” Beca groans. She’s not completely messy, but she isn’t good about picking up her things immediately.

“No,” Chloe replies easily, pulling on the corners of her bedspread so that it makes precise, corners. Beca thinks she could probably bounce a quarter on that bed. “But the RAs are. See, on every floor, there’s a senior or two who are in charge of all the underclassmen, making sure our rooms are clean once a week, and that we go to classes and follow all the rules. Look on your housing assignment sheet, it should say who our RA is,” she says as she starts putting her clothes into the dresser drawers.

“I don’t have that,” Beca mumbles, struggling to try and replicate Chloe’s military precision with her bedspread. “My dad had it on his phone; he’s a teacher here,” she explains when Chloe turns to look at her. She chuckles when she sees Beca struggling with her bed, and lightly hip checks her out of the way to fix the bed.

“Fine, grab mine. It’s on the dresser,” she laughs. Beca frowns at being shoved aside (even if it was done gently), but grabs the stack of papers, skimming through until she sees the information Chloe was looking for.

“Um, some girl named Alice… Alice-”

“Rivers,” Chloe groans. “I know her. Kinda hoping she  _ wouldn’t _ be anywhere near me this year.” Satisfied that Beca’s bed is in order, Chloe goes back to putting her clothes away. Beca moves to do the same.

“She that bad?” Beca asks nonchalantly.

“She’s just… Ugh, god, there’s no nice way to put it. She’s a bully. She’s a… a…”

“A bitch?” Beca supplies. Chloe purses her lips, trying not to smile. Beca smirks.

“Sort of,” she mumbles, still grinning. “But we’ve got to get this stuff organized because she is very  _ particular _ about stuff. And she’ll be here before we know-”

“Room check!” A voice booms, knocking on the door.

“That’s her,” Chloe hisses, hurrying to throw a few more things into her drawers as Beca goes to open the door. When she opens it, she sees a smirking brunette, a whole head taller than her, staring her down with a clipboard in her hand. She’s of average build, brown hair, dark brown eyes. Nothing really spectacular about her. But when she grins, there’s something predatory.

“You’re quite a little pipsqueak, aren’t you? Fits, seeing as you’re the only sophomore on this floor. Only sophomore to ever room with a non-sophomore,” she sneers, waltzing into the room with the grace of a queen, shoving past Beca to smirk down at Chloe who is practically quivering.

“Hey, Beale, where’d your glasses go?” she snickers. Chloe bites her bottom lip, staring at the floor.

“I got contacts,” she says quietly.

“Hmm, shame,” Alice sighs. “Quite liked them. Really completed the whole ‘dork’ look you had going on.”

“Thought you were here to do a room check, not harass Chloe,” Beca interrupts, balling her fists angrily. She isn’t quite sure where this boiling rage comes from, but she hates seeing the way Chloe seems to shrink under Alice’s glare. She hates seeing a bully. Surely it has nothing to do with the fact that, as soon as she speaks, Chloe’s head snaps up to smile at Beca, or the way her stomach flips.  _ Damnit Beca, control this. You are not… No, _ she thinks.

“You really ought to respect your elders, pipsqueak,” Alice says, her voice dropping an octave in an obvious attempt to intimidate Beca. Before Beca can say anything, Alice spins away and stalks around the room, glaring at everything in the room like it had personally offended her. “These beds are… almost decent. But you really should get the rest of this crap put away. Wouldn’t want you to get into any… trouble, huh, Beale?” Alice teases.

“Yes, Alice,” Chloe says obediently.

“We just got here, like, half an hour ago. How could we have gotten everything put away?” Beca snorts.

“Listen, halfpint, you’re just a little baby sophomore-” Beca’s cheeks burn at the insults. “-so I’m going to let you off with one more warning. Learn. To respect. Your. Superiors.” She takes a step closer with every word, backing Beca up against the wall. Once she has Beca pinned, she slaps her cheek lightly, smirking before she leaves, slamming the door behind her.

“You’re a sophomore?” Chloe asks after a few moments of loaded silence. Beca swallows thickly, nodding.

“Why’s it matter?” she croaks, embarrassed by how much Alice’s insults got to her. She’s dealt with plenty of bullies before, heard plenty of short jokes. Why the hell did it matter this time? Surely it couldn’t be because Chloe had been listening.

“I’m a junior. Barden doesn’t really let people of mixed ages room together. They’ve got this weird thing about it, I don’t know,” Chloe shrugs, taking a step toward Beca, who flinches, one hand going to her ribcage. “Hey, relax, she’s gone. She’s probably not even coming back. She just likes to make the rounds, instill a little fear. Usually in me, but it looks like she’s made a friend in you, too,” Chloe chuckles, slowly walking toward Beca the way one might with a wild animal. Eventually, she gets close enough and pulls Beca into a hug.

“Not really a hugger,” Beca grunts, actively fighting the urge to sink into Chloe’s touch.  _ Don’t Beca, not here, not now. You can’t do this again. _

“I am,” Chloe hums, but pulls away just the same. “Now, let’s get all this cleaned up, and then we can relax, hmm?” Beca just nods, finally stepping away from the wall. “Welcome to Barden, Beca Mitchell,” Chloe laughs, picking up a t-shirt that had fallen out of Beca’s drawers and throwing it at her. “Best four years of your life.” Beca just rolls her eyes, grabbing the t-shirt and lapsing in her easy silence with Chloe as they both work to clean up their room.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

_**Next**_   _ **time:**_ Chloe gives Beca a tour of Barden, and Beca has a breakdown


	2. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why are we walking?” Beca groans. She had just wanted to stay in her room and sulk at her imprisonment, plot Alice’s downfall, and maybe work on some music. But Chloe had pulled on her arm until Beca agreed to get up so that Chloe could giver her “the grand tour of all things Barden.”

**Chapter 2: Settling In**

  
  
  


“Why are we walking?” Beca groans. She had just wanted to stay in her room and sulk at her imprisonment, plot Alice’s downfall, and maybe work on some music. But Chloe had pulled on her arm until Beca agreed to get up so that Chloe could giver her “the grand tour of all things Barden.”

“Because you are planning on skipping orientation this afternoon-” Chloe giggles, leading an unimpressed Beca down the hall.

“Because it’s  _ lame _ ,” she interrupts, scowling. And really, the Beca Mitchell patented scowl combined with the ripped up jeans, black tank top, faux-leather jacket, and thick black eyeliner that Beca wasn’t very skilled at applying, Chloe should have been cowering in fear. But instead, she was  _ giggling _ . 

“You still need to know where everything is, and the basic rules. And I don’t like to sit alone in my room,” Chloe continues, still giggling. Beca just rolls her eyes, yanking her arm away from Chloe, ignoring the goosebumps, crossing them angrily over her chest. 

“Bathroom’s down the hall. Classes are in…” Beca pauses, surveying all of the buildings before pointing to a large, brick building in the center of campus. “That building. That’s all I need,” she declares.

“That  _ would be _ where your classes are…” Chloe says slyly. “ _ If _ you were in the lower school. Here at Barden, we go from fourth grade to twelfth. Lower school is housed on the other side of campus. They have classes here in the Streiker building, named after a descendant of Susanna Streicker, donated a bunch of money to the school. Building next to that, with the marble columns?” Beca frowns, but glances over at it. “That’s the Durham library, the lower school library. See this area? It’s all the lower campus. There’s even a playground around the back of the Streiker building, and another near the lower dorms.”

“Who the hell sends their kids to boarding school for  _ fourth grade _ ?” Beca scoffs to deflect from the fact that her guess had been wrong.

“My parents,” Chloe shrugs, and a stab of guilt runs through Beca. “It’s fine. I begged to come here. The public school I went to had  _ no _ arts. Like, at all. Our town was kinda small, and we were deep in recession, so they cut out the entire arts program. I  _ begged _ my parents to send me anywhere else, and got a scholarship here.”

“Uh, like, sorry, I guess?” Beca mumbles awkwardly. “I didn’t… um, know, I guess.”

“I told you it’s cool,” Chloe grins, reaching to link elbows with Beca. Beca jumps away from her touch, and Chloe pouts, but doesn’t press it.

“Can we just, like, get this over with? I had a full day planned of-”

“Sitting in the dark dorm room?” Chloe teases. “Come on, oh Pale One. See the sun, make some friends. You have to join a club and a sport anyway.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,  _ what _ ?!” Beca shrieks stopping in her tracks. All of the tiny people walking around, all of their parents, and all of the older kids (everyone who looked taller than Beca was classified in the latter category), stopped to stare. “I have to join a  _ sport?!” _

“Yep. Part of the Barden mission statement. They want to make us all well-rounded students. So, in addition to our mandatory arts requirements, everyone has to join one club, and participate in two athletic seasons,” Chloe bounces. Beca growls, but moves to follow after Chloe, furrowing her brow in frustration.

“So, what’s yours?” Beca mumbles. Chloe pulls her down a path, explaining quickly that she’s taking Beca to tour the upper school campus, unfortunately bypassing their dorm room. Beca fleetingly thinks of her nice, warm bed, her headphones, and her laptop.

“I’m a cheerleader for my sport, and it’s year-round.” Beca snorts. Chloe stops, rounds on Beca, frowning in a way that reminds Beca of a child who’s been told they can’t get a candy from the store. “You’re not one of those ‘cheerleading-is-not-a-sport’ people, are you?” She narrows her eyes as Beca’s smirk deepens.

“You jump around in a skirt. Explain to me how that’s a sport,” she snorts. Chloe sets her jaw, narrowing her eyes even more, her face turning red. For a moment, Beca remembers what people say about redheads and their tempers, and wonders if she should regret goading Chloe.

“We train for  _ hours _ , Beca. We are stronger, faster, and more flexible than anyone else. I could probably take at least half of the football, baseball, basketball, or wrestling team in an arm wrestling competition. I could run faster than half the track team. Just because we do our sport with a little more flare does not mean we are lesser athletes than anyone else. Don’t be such a… such a… buttface!” Chloe shouts angrily. And Beca can’t help but laugh.

“Did you just call me a buttface? I haven’t been called a buttface since, like… fifth grade,” Beca explains when Chloe slaps her arm.

“Maybe not to your face,” Chloe murmurs, crossing her arms as she heads off towards the academic buildings in upper campus.

“You’re so weird,” Beca snorts, settling into an easy pace with Chloe as they continue on their tour.

“Thanks,” Chloe smiles, her frustration or anger or whatever the hell that was, melting away as she skipped ahead, looping her elbow around Beca’s, pulling the smaller girl along. “Now, let me show you all the super secret cool places at Barden,” she giggles.

 

After dragging Beca around to all of her favorite hangouts (namely: the library, a little garden hidden behind the lower school, the music rooms, and the sculpting classroom), Chloe tries to drag her to meet her friends. But, unfortunately, Chloe seems to be friends with everyone. She’s personable, bubbly, happy to talk to every Tom, Dick, or Harry she sees walking along campus. Beca is stiff, awkward, and unapproachable, so she mostly just stands there while Chloe and her friends chatter on and on. Eventually, they go back to the dorms, but even then Chloe drags Beca to a higher floor to find her best friend, Aubrey.

Aubrey Amelia Posen was… an interesting personality. She was tall, probably a little taller than that… beast of a girl named Alice. Her hair was beautiful, like spun gold pulled into a tight, perfect bun. Her room was pristine, all the order of a military base. Immediately, Aubrey took a disliking to Beca, which in turn made Beca take a disliking to her. She gave Beca a once-over- her gaze lingering on the ripped jeans, the ear cuffs, and the eyeliner- and pursed her lips, focusing instead on Chloe. After half an hour of awkward, stilted conversation, Chloe let Beca go back to the dorm room so she could take a quick shower before they go to the dining hall.

But once she’s alone, she finds she doesn’t really want to take a shower right now. She just curls up on her bed, headphones over her ears, and lets the music drown out her thoughts.

 

“She’s a hobbit, Chlo,” Aubrey snickers once the shorter brunette has disappeared back to her room.

“Bree, be nice!” Chloe scolds. “She’s nice.”

“She’s hostile, and awkward, and sarcastic,” Aubrey sighs, folding herself into her desk chair and Chloe sits on the bottom bunk, glad Aubrey’s awkward roommate Kimmy Jin is out practicing her violin.

“Only around you. And it doesn’t help that you were clearly judging her,” Chloe points out.

“She had those  _ ear monstrosities _ ,” Aubrey hisses. “And that… 90’s alternative style? She’s a punk, Chlo.”

“She’s still my roommate, and I think she’s nice, under the eyeliner and  _ ear monstrosities _ . Will you at least try to be nice at dinner?” Aubrey groans.

“We have to have  _ dinner _ with her?”

“She’s new! She’s a sophomore, and doesn’t know anyone!” Chloe defends.

“She’s a sophomore?” Chloe nods. “So they’ll let you room with a sophomore hobbit, but not me?” Aubrey was a senior, and had been Chloe’s best friend since they met in Chloe’s first year. They’d been begging to room together since fifth grade (Chloe’s fifth grade, Aubrey’s sixth), and every year had been vehemently denied.

“If you keep calling her a hobbit, I’m going to leave,” Chloe warns her, but there’s no real weight behind the threat. They continue to talk about their summer vacations, and class schedules (sadly, none of their classes overlap) until Chloe has to go get herself ready for dinner, and pick up Beca.

She reenters the room to find complete darkness, and almost perfect silence. The only noise was a quiet sniffling.

“Beca?” she whispers. No response. Chloe steps into the room, closing the door behind her, turning on the wall light. There’s a groan from the lump of blankets on the bottom bunk. “Beca, what’s wrong?”

“‘M fine. Go away,” she growls. Chloe has never been good at listening when that particular phrase is uttered. She hurries over to sit across from Beca on the bunk, pulling down the covers to reveal a puffy-eyed Beca, hurriedly wiping at her smudged mascara.

“Why are you crying?” Chloe whispers.

“I’m not,” Beca insists, but her voice breaks in the middle of her bold statement, and her entire face crumples.

“You can tell me,” Chloe continues. “I’m really good at keeping secrets. Even from Bree.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“So let’s talk about something else. Did you leave a boyfriend back home?” Beca frowns at Chloe, shaking her head. Chloe bites her lip, glancing around nervously before asking, “was it a girlfriend?”

“No!” Beca shouts, her cheeks flushing pink. A slight sigh of relief floods through Chloe. It’s not that  _ she _ has a problem with gay people, per say. It’s more like… She’d read somewhere that North Dakota is one of the most conservative states in the US. She certainly couldn’t have cared less. Love is love, right? But she was afraid for the smaller girl, afraid of what everyone else might say about her.

“Well… Any friends?” Chloe asks after a moment.

“Oh my God, Chlo, stop making me even more depressed by reminding me about who I left behind. I miss my freaking mom, okay?” Beca cries, throwing up her hand before drawing her knees to her chest, one arm wrapped around them, the other clapped over her mouth.

“Oh, Beca,” Chloe sighs, reaching to wrap the other girl in a hug. Beca shakes in her arms, and Chloe doesn’t quite know how to comfort this girl.

“Shut up. I’m not… Don’t talk about this, like ever,” Beca mumbles, her voice muffled by Chloe’s shoulder.

“Okay,” Chloe nods. They stay like that for a while before Beca finally pulls away. “We can still make it to dinner, if you like. Bathroom will be pretty empty, so you can clean up really quick.” Beca is shaking her head before Chloe can even finish her suggestion.

“I’m not hungry. You can go, if you want,” she croaks.

“I don’t want to leave you here alone!” As she’s saying this, her stomach growls audibly, and she blushes.

“Go, eat. I’ll be fine,” Beca insists, grateful when Chloe finally agrees, leaving her alone again. Beca stands to shut the light off, needing the isolation. She can’t  _ believe _ she lost it like that. How could she let her guard down like that, and in front of a stranger? It didn’t matter that it was Chloe, possibly the nicest, friendliest person Beca has ever met. It didn’t matter that the girl was pure sunshine, and made Beca feel like she was lighter than air. All that mattered was that Beca Mitchell had cried, and admitted that she was crying about missing her mom.

When she thinks about her mother, all she can think about are the last words her mother had said before they parted.

_ “It’s not your fault, Becs. I promise, it’s not your fault _ ,” she had said. But it  _ was _ Beca’s fault. Everything was Beca’s fault. And now she was here, in this stupid school with a girl made of sunshine who made her feel lighter than air but she  _ couldn’t _ feel that way about her, couldn’t do it. Not when she is who she is.

Not when Beca Mitchell has a tendency to ruin everything she touches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter, y'all! Thanks for reading!


	3. Unbreakable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter what, Beca will not break.

**Chapter 3: Unbreakable**

  
  
  


Beca decides to take a shower while everyone else is at dinner.

She gathers up her nice, new bath towels, her shampoo, conditioner, soap, and washcloths. She grabs her waterproof bluetooth speaker, and her phone, because Beca needs the music. She’s always lived by the music, needed the beats to drown out everything. When her parents would argue, she’d put her headphones over her ears, and blast the music until she couldn’t hear it anymore. When her dad walked out, she’d play the music to fill the space he’d left. And when everything went down with her mom? God, music was like her security blanket for that.

She certainly needed it now, terrified that someone might hear  _ her _ breaking.

_ “Shoot me down, but I won’t fall, I am titanium _ .” Beca’s voice warbles, terrified, broken. She imagines people in the shared bathroom space, giggling. Laughing at her. They know she’s weak, know she cries about missing her mommy like some little kid at her first day in kindergarten. But Beca is just being crazy, right? There’s no one actually in here. Everyone’s at dinner, right?

After a half-hour long shower, Beca’s fingers are as wrinkled as her great-granny Chrissy on the day she died. At age 103. So, deciding she doesn’t want to spend her high school years looking 103, Beca turns off the water, and opens the shower curtain just enough to reach for her towel. And have her hand hit the cold, steel wall.

“Damnit,” she grunts, opening it more, glad that there is a second compartment, a real door blocking her from the rest of the communal bathroom. Unfortunately, the door she had locked tightly is now swinging open. Her towels, and the underwear she had brought to put on before going back to her room is missing. The only thing that sits on the little wooden bench where her clothes once sat is a piece of paper in a plastic ziploc bag to keep it dry. With shaking hands, Beca picks it up, reading the words as her blood runs cold.

_ Respect your elders, Midget, _ it reads in spiky, black handwriting.

“Fuck,” Beca mumbles, sinking to the ground.

 

Meanwhile, Chloe is walking back to the dorm, Aubrey’s elbow linked around hers as she maintains a grip on the food she had brought Beca. Normally, the cafeteria workers don’t let anyone take food for someone else- apparently there’d been a problem with people hoarding food in their rooms, and a rat infestation- but Chloe has a way of getting people to do anything. She had taken one woman aside, Maureen, and explains that her roommate was a first-year sophomore, and extremely homesick, unable to leave her room. So, Maureen took pity, and made up a plate of food, wrapped it up, and let Chloe take it back.

“I don’t quite understand what you see in this girl. She’s so… angry,” Aubrey sighs.

“Stop it, Bree. She just…” Chloe hesitates. She can’t tell Aubrey that Beca had a breakdown, hadn’t told her about her roommate’s tears, missing her mom. Normally, Chloe shares everything with Aubrey, but something about this feels wrong. She had promised Beca never to speak of it, and the idea of breaking a promise makes Chloe feel physically ill.

“Aw, what, is the wittle baby sophomore homesick?” Aubrey teases. Chloe elbows her as they get on the elevator of their dorm. 

“Shut up! I was going to say she’s different when  _ you’re _ not around!” Chloe giggles. When the elevator stops, she punches Aubrey in the arm.

“See you at lunch tomorrow?” Aubrey asks. Chloe nods, flashing a smile before hurrying off down the hall to her own room, only to find Beca’s bed empty. She pouted for a moment before noticing the note on top of her pillow. It only held one word.  _ Shower _ . Chloe puts the food in their little mini fridge before shrugging. Now’s as good a time for her own shower as any. She goes to gather up her things.

 

“Shit. Damnit. Oh, fuck me sideways,” Beca groans quietly, shivering. She turns the water back on if only to keep her from freezing her ass off out here without any clothes.  _ What do I do, what do I do, what do I do? _ , she thinks frantically. She could stand here until someone hopefully comes in, and beg them for a towel. Or maybe, if she stands here long enough, Alice will return her towel- because really, it had to be Alice based on the message she left behind. 

She  _ could _ just make a run for it. Her room is only a few doors down, and most people are probably still at the dining hall, or hanging out with friends. She’s done it before, back home. Who hasn’t forgotten a towel and had to take that risky run back to their bedroom, praying no one was home? But this is infinitely different because Beca lives in a dormitory with other people, and she can’t guarantee they won’t be around.

“Damnit,” she growls, slamming her palm on the side of the shower stall, unable to make a decision, stuck until she hears the door to the bathroom open.

 

Music has always lived within Chloe.

When she was a baby, she would sing herself to sleep, according to her parents. Her first words were a song, the first verse of Britney Spears’ “Oops, I Did it Again” if her older brothers are to be believed. All her life, music has been there. It was beautiful, and constant, always there to help her through her toughest times. When her best friend in third grade ditched her for the new girl from Vermont, she had cried and blasted her radio for hours on end. When her first boyfriend, Harry Wickersham, had dumped her in seventh grade because she was too clingy, she had listened to Taylor Swift on repeat for days. Music was always there for her.

Whenever she walked, she was humming, or singing softly, bopping along to her own little beat, and tonight was no different. She was still singing when she walked into the communal bathroom, her flip-flops slapping the wet tile. The room was quiet, a strange occurrence for this time. Though, since sports practices haven’t started yet, she supposes it makes sense. Normally, the shower room is packed with athletes aching to wash off the sweat after practice at this time, but it’s empty now except for one shower.

“Beca?” Chloe calls out, pausing in her song. “That you?”

“Chloe?” she squeaks back. “Oh thank god. I need your help.” Beca shouts back. Chloe goes to stand outside her shower stall, awkwardly talking to a door.

“In the shower? I’d like to consider us friends, Becs, but not  _ that _ kind of friends,” Chloe teases.

“Dude!” Beca shrieks, her cheeks red. “Not  _ that! _ I don’t- I’m not- I can’t even-” she splutters nervously, shifting from foot to foot, grateful Chloe can’t see her right now. “Alice stole my damn towel! And my stuff! I just need something to cover myself so I can get back to our room!” She can hear Chloe laughing at her as a towel is tossed over the door of the outer compartment. 

“Yeah, sure, take mine, go get dressed, and bring it back,” she says through her giggles. 

“Thanks,” Beca grumbles, cheeks still burning as she grabs the towel, securing it firmly under her arms before stepping out into the bathroom, grateful that Chloe is in her own stall, starting up her shower.

“That’s what friends are for,” she calls cheerfully. Beca just grunts in response, running back to their shared room.  _ Friends? You aren’t here to make friends, Mitchell. Get in, get out. Get close to no one, and no one ends up hurt. Or worse,  _ she thinks as she slams the door behind her.

 

“Chloe, it’s Beca,” she calls out awkwardly, standing in front of her shower stall. She can heard a few other girls taking their showers, and waves awkwardly at another girl in the mirror.

“Oh, good, come on, bring the towel in,” she invites. Beca can practically hear all of the perfectly manicured eyebrows raising as she opens the door to the outer part of the stall. The plastic shower curtain snaps open and Beca’s eyes snap up. To see Chloe Beale. A very naked Chloe Beale. A very naked, very  _ wet _ Chloe Beale.

“Dude!” Beca squeaks (though, when Chloe teases her about it later, she’ll deny ever doing something as foolish as  _ squeaking _ , like some tiny mouse, or something). In her defense, Chloe does have the social grace to blush, and avert her eyes. But only for a moment.

“What? I’m pretty confident about… all this,” she says with a wink, and a shimmy that Beca misses because she has her eyes screwed tight, her cheeks flaming, her stomach clenched as she shoves her hand out, silently begging Chloe to take it.  _ You should be. _ The thought comes without asking, and Beca instantly curses herself for it.

“I’ll just be… in the room,” Beca mumbles, her voice a little higher than normal. As soon as she can close the door behind her, she jumps on her bed, glad for the higher bunk; it makes it feel like a cave, enclosed around Beca. It feels safe, like a child building a blanket fort. Here, she can pretend that everything’s fine. Pretend she isn’t thinking about Chloe, and the  _ very thorough _ glimpse she had gotten of the confident redhead. Pretend the guilt isn’t weighing down on her, the guilt of thinking about Chloe, the guilt of what she did to her mother, all of it. Here, in her little bunk/cave she can just put on her headphones, and ignore the growling in her stomach.

 

Chloe isn’t normally that forward.

She isn’t really the girl who walks around completely naked in front of people she’s just met. Aubrey is different. She doesn’t mind changing when Aubrey’s in the room (Aubrey usually closes her eyes because she  _ does _ mind, actually). But she’s known Aubrey for years. Pre-puberty. They have seen each other through their awkward middle-school phases. She’s comfortable in front of Aubrey. Chloe doesn’t have that same history with Beca, but it felt just as easy. Easier, in fact.

This fact should give her pause, but it doesn’t. Not now. She just hitches the towel under her shoulder, and walks back to her room to see Beca. And, like, get dressed and stuff.

“Hey _ roomie _ ,” Chloe giggles when she opens the door, but Beca doesn’t respond, is so busy on her laptop, headphones secured over her ears. Chloe just shrugs, opening her wardrobe door. She turns to make sure Beca is still focused on the laptop, stepping as far behind the little wardrobe door as she can before letting the towel drop so she can quickly pull on her clothes. With her back turned, she can’t see Beca.

She can’t see the way Beca watched her walk behind the wardrobe. She can’t see the way Beca’s face turns red as she realizes that Chloe is getting undressed. Beca knows she shouldn’t stare. It’s rude. So, Beca stares instead at the mix she’s working on, but the songs aren’t coming together, and it’s frustrating, so she glances back up just in time to see Chloe’s towel hit the ground, the smallest sliver of Chloe’s body still visible behind the wardrobe.

Beca can see every toned muscle as Chloe bends over to start getting dressed, and Beca’s cheeks are burning so hot she’s surprised Chloe can’t feel it. So, Beca bites the inside of her cheek so hard she draws blood, and screws her eyes shut so tight that she sees spots. Beneath the covers, she’s pinching the skin on the inside of her wrist to keep herself centered, to make herself focus on anything but what she wants to focus on.

_ Disgusting, _ Beca punishes herself.  _ You’re taking advantage of how good Chloe is. How nice Chloe is. How pretty Chloe is.  _ And, unbidden, the images come back of Chloe, naked in the shower stall, only this time Beca is kissing her. 

“Gah!” Beca grunts, the guttural noise ripped from her throat. Chloe turns, and Beca is glad to see she is now dressed in matching flannel pajamas, folding her towel.

“You good?” Chloe asks, her entire persona dripping concern, true concern. 

“‘M fine,” Beca lies through gritted teeth, because she can still see the images, and that most certainly is  _ not _ fine. “Just… stomachache,” she adds when Chloe raises one eyebrow in disbelief. In an instant, her entire demeanor shifts, and she distracts Beca with food brought back from the cafeteria. Beca is again struck by how unabashedly  _ perfect _ Chloe is. 

_ Don’t get too close, Becs, _ she warns herself.  _ Can’t afford to ruin this one. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, these two and showers... <3
> 
> So, any thoughts? What do you think is going on with Beca's mom? What do you think will happen next?


	4. Dreams and Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca doesn't know what to classify that as. Nightmare? Dream? A little bit of both?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little mini slightly smutty scene in this. Not super smutty, just thought I'd warn you

**Chapter 4: Dreams and Nightmares**

  
  
  


Chloe bites her lip.

She’s always been an early morning person, something that usually frustrates her roommates on weekends. So here she is, Wednesday morning, six A.M., wide awake. She’s sitting cross-legged on her top bunk, unsure what to do. Because her roommate is asleep on the bottom bunk, but she isn’t sleeping peacefully.

The younger brunette is whimpering, and making muffled little mewling noises. Chloe hates hearing other people so unhappy, especially in sleep when they’re so vulnerable and should be relaxing and recharging. It’s like a kick in the gut to have nightmares during this time, she thinks. But Chloe also has a feeling that Beca would be extremely embarrassed if she had to be woken because she was having a bad dream. But when Beca lets out a strangled yelp, Chloe hops off the bed, chewing her thumbnail nervously.

“Beca,” she says softly. Beca just squirms on the bed, still whimpering, hands fisted in the sheets, a thin layer of sweat glossing her skin. “Beca!” she repeats, nudging Beca’s knee. She wakes with a yelp, eyes wide and frantically scanning the room. When she sees Chloe, she cries out, scrambling backwards into the corner of the bed frame next to the wall. “Hey, hey, hey, you’re awake. You’re okay!” Chloe says quickly, leaning forward to comfort her.

“No!” Beca yelps, and Chloe backs up, sitting opposite Beca, leaving a good three feet of space between them. Beca draws her knees to her chest, wraps her arms around them, and hunches her shoulders as she rests her chin on her knees, making herself as small as possible.

“Okay,” Chloe nods, sitting cross-legged. “So, bad dream?” Chloe watches Beca bite her lip before shaking her head.

“N-not really,” she croaks, her voice still heavy from sleep. “Just… weird.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Chloe asks. Beca is shaking her head before Chloe can even finish the question. “That’s fine. But, you know, if you  _ do _ want to talk, I’m a really, really good listener, and I don’t judge.” Beca nods, eyes watering slightly. Chloe gently pats Beca’s knee before standing. “I’m going down to the common room to do my morning yoga if you need me. Or if you want to join me,” she offers.

“Nah,” Beca says shortly. After seeing Chloe’s hurt expression, Beca backtracks. “I mean, like, thanks. But I’m terrible at yoga. And it’s ungodly early. So I’m gonna lie back down, get a little more sleep before school, ‘kay?”

“Oh, okay!” Chloe chirps, grabbing her mat and skipping out into the hallway.

As soon as Chloe slams the door behind her, Beca slams her forehead into her kneecap roughly, incredibly frustrated, confused, and angry with herself as she remembers her dream.

_ “Oh, yeah, I’m pretty confident about… all of this,” Chloe says, her voice a seductive purr as she shimmies, smirking at Beca. But this time, Beca is not closing her eyes, or blushing. She is smirking right back, eyes roving appreciatively over Chloe’s wet, naked form. _

_ “You should be,” she says, her voice an octave deeper, and gravelly as she surges forward. And suddenly, in the way that happens only in dreams, all of Beca’s clothes suddenly disappear, and she’s just as naked as Chloe. Beca shoves her against the slick shower wall so that they’re both directly underneath the spray of the shower head. _

_ With a fierceness and bravery that waking-Beca would never have, she’s kissing Chloe. It’s hot, and needy, but not awkward. Beca gently tongues Chloe’s lips, asking for permission, and without a second thought, Chloe opens her mouth, and their tongues are exploring each other.  _

_ In the same manner, hands are roving. Beca is whimpering against Chloe as her hands grip her hips. One splays flat against the small of her back, pushing them as close together as possible. Beca moans, hands clutching at Chloe, desperate to touch every inch of her skin, running her fingers all over Chloe’s exposed flesh.  _

_ When Beca pulls away to catch her breath, Chloe immediately moves her mouth to Beca’s pulse point, nibbling, and biting, leaving Beca panting. Chloe continues before she leaves a mark, kissing her way down Beca’s chest, peppering her sensitive stomach with kisses. As she gets close to the apex of Beca’s thighs, Beca is crying out, and suddenly, she’s jerked awake, staring at the very object of her dream staring at her with big, concerned blue eyes. _

“Fuck,” Beca groans, shoving her pillow over her face, trying in vain to smother herself.

 

By the time Chloe gets back, Beca is just pulling on her shoes, zipping up her bag.

“Oh,” she says, startled. Chloe pouts as she closes the door.

“Where are you going?” Chloe asks, whining slightly.

“Um, gotta talk to my dad,” Beca lies, throwing her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll see you… later, I guess?” Beca moves toward the door, but Chloe blocks it, one hand on her hip as she talks to Beca.

“He’s a teacher here, right? What does he teach?”

“English,” Beca replies shortly, her cheeks warming up the longer she has to look at Chloe, still trying to shake the memories of her dream.

“No way! I think he’s my advanced Brit lit teacher!” Chloe giggles.

“Cool,” Beca nods, shutting her walls around her heart. She  _ can’t _ feel this. Everything she has ever cared about gets ripped away, and leaves her with a broken heart. Just look at what happened with her mother.

“Um,” Chloe says, taken aback. “What are you doing about breakfast?” she chirps, still trying to be happy Chloe Beale; it’s what she’s best at.

“I’ll grab something from him. You mind? I gotta go,” she says, sighing heavily. Choe frowns, but moves.

“I’ll see you later,” Chloe asserts as Beca runs out.

 

_ Stupid slutty Catholic schoolgirl uniforms, _ Beca thinks mutinously as she struggles to sit on the grass outside the academic building. It is literally an exact replica of every porn movie with school uniforms: a sheer white button down so thin that she has to wear a tanktop unless she wants the world to see her black bra, a red, white, and black plaid skirt, white knee socks with little plaid bows on the top ( _ seriously? _ ), and black Mary Janes. She feels ridiculous, trying to cross her legs to keep her skirt closed, and balance her laptop on her legs.

She manages to get it balanced, slipping her headphones over her ears as she plays around with different mixes for about an hour before students start filing past her, chatting excitedly about the new school year. Beca is too lost in the world of music until someone kicks her foot. She jerks the headphones, dropping them around her neck.

“Hey, you’re gonna be late. Where are you headed?” a voice barks. Beca looks up to see Aubrey, Chloe’s blonde friend staring down at her, offering a hand to help her up. “Chloe told me you ditched her this morning to talk to your dad, and I see you here sitting on the ground? Listening to music. Let’s go, alt girl, we’ve got classes,” she snaps, yanking Beca up to her feet as soon as her laptop is in her bag.

“Didn’t find him,” Beca grunts, walking quickly to keep up with the blonde as she hurries into the building.

“Well, here’s the thing, you ditched Chloe. Chloe doesn’t do too well with the whole abandonment thing, so you are going to fix that. And then, you and I are going to have a nice little chat about what happens when someone hurts my best friend. For now, you are going to class. Where are you headed?”

“Um,” Beca stumbles, biting her lip as she glances at the scrawl on her forearm. Aubrey rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Algebra 2...?”

“Do you know where that  _ is _ ?” Aubrey is impatient now, glancing at the clock, warning her that she only has two minutes to keep her perfect attendance record. But Chloe would kill her if she let the hobbit stumble around, lost. 

“No,” Beca admits. Aubrey rolls her eyes again, grabs Beca by the wrist and leads her up the stairs as quickly as possible, grimacing as she hears the bell ringing as they start on the staircase to the third floor. “Crap,” Beca mumbles, slightly out of breath.

“Yeah,” Aubrey grumbles, but she continues leading Beca up to room 313 where Mrs. Nguyen’s Algebra 2 class was just starting. She knocks on the door, leading Beca inside.

“Aubrey Posen! It’s been too long,” the teacher smiles. Aubrey, who had taken the class freshman year, smiles.

“Hi Mrs. Nguyen, I’ve missed your class! This is Beca Mitchell, a new sophomore. Got a little turned around, so I showed her up here,” she explained, beaming.

“Ah, hello Beca. Ms. Posen, I’m sure you have class, as well. Can I get you a note, call down to your teacher?” she offers. Beca smiles awkwardly at Aubrey before rushing to take her seat, the only open seat in the back of the room.

“If it’s not too much trouble, that’d be great,” Aubrey grins, but her old teacher is already scribbling a note, handing it to her, shooing her away as she moves to the phone. Aubrey stops to look Beca in the eye before she leaves.

“Don’t forget what I said, Mitchell,” she calls, grinning as Beca flushes red, twenty pairs of eyes turning to stare at her as Aubrey rushes out the door to make it to her AP Calculus class.

 

Beca doesn’t forget. When she goes back to her room at the end of the day, she apologizes for ditching Chloe without ever explaining why. They talk about their first day for a while, and agree to study together. When going over her schedule for the next day, Beca discovers they’re in gym class together, and Beca’s dad’s AP English Language class. She was tempted to tell administration that she didn’t want to be in a class taught by her father, but Chloe looked so excited about the prospect of shared classes and Beca couldn’t bring herself to crush her.

By the time they go to dinner, meeting up with Aubrey, and Stacie Conrad, a girl from Beca’s AP US History class, Chloe is beaming, and Beca is smiling awkwardly, blushing. Aubrey nods in approval, glad that the hobbit can  _ at least _ take direction. 


	5. Comfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At some point, you get into a groove during the beginning of the school year. Beca found her groove.

**Chapter 5: Comfortable**

  
  


Over the next two weeks, Beca settles into a routine. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and even-numbered Fridays she has Algebra 2 first, then Music technology, and after lunch she goes to AP History and health class. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and odd-numbered Fridays she goes to AP English with Chloe, then chemistry. After lunch, she goes to gym for a double block. For the first two weeks, the gym class is filled with instruction, reading the syllabus, and mandatory fitness testing. 

Beca learns to not hate the uniforms, even though she still thinks they look like a porn star costume. She starts going to the library with Chloe to study. Sometimes, she meets up with Stacie, and her friends Jessica and Ashley, who are both in Beca’s chemistry and algebra classes. She gets into a pattern. And Beca Mitchell likes patterns, likes what’s going to happen next.

It’s easy, once she gets into a routine. Not that she’ll tell her dad that.

 

“Beca, could you stay after class, please?” Her dad calls. Beca grimaces, and most of the class smirks. They all know that Mr. Mitchell is her father, since he made the announcement on the first day of class. Beca sighs heavily and notices Chloe stalling by the door. Beca mouths for her to go, trying to smile at the end so Chloe knows she isn’t upset with her. Beca doesn’t notice how being Chloe’s friend is forcing her to be more considerate.

“What, dad?” She asks harshly.

“I just wanted to ask how you’re settling in,” he sighs, leaning back on his desk. She crosses her arms over her chest, sitting on the desk in the front row.

“I’m fine. Can I go? I’m gonna be late.”

“You have fifteen minutes between classes,” he reminds her. “I have some things of yours that you might want to put in your room. Pictures, and things. I don’t have room in my apartment so I was going to put them in storage, but I thought-”

“I can’t take that stuff right now,” she interrupts, glancing around anxiously. She knows that most students make the most of their fifteen minute break between classes, but she’s terrified someone might come in, might overhear.

“Later, then?” He prompts. She sighs, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, fine, whatever. I’ve gotta go.” Without waiting for an answer, she runs out to her next class.

“Don’t forget about that essay due on Friday,” he calls after her, sighing when he knows she’s gone.

 

When she gets home from the library that afternoon, she finds a giant cardboard box sitting outside her door. Her face turns red as Chloe tries to see what’s in the box.

“What’s that?” Chloe asks, peeking around as Beca hefts it up, balancing it on her stomach as Chloe unlocks the door.

“Nothing. Just something from my dad,” she grunts, dropping it on her bed, watching it bounce gently. 

“Is that why he kept you after yesterday?” Chloe turns to drop her own things off at her desk. Beca just shrugs. “What’s in the box?”

“Pictures, and stuff, I think,” Beca mumbles. She knows there’s bound to be pictures of her mom, and she isn’t in the mood to tell that story, so she just shoves the box to the side, ignoring it.

 

“Don’t you own  _ any _ color, Mitchell?” Chloe sighs dramatically, watching Beca pull on a blank tank top with black leggings. Raising one eyebrow in a challenge, Beca pulls out her black and white flannel. She  _ was _ going to wear her purple one, but she has to prove a point. Chloe just laughs at her.

“I still don’t understand why I have to do this,” Beca moans.

“It’s once a month. The entire floor has a meeting about rules and stupid dorm stuff, then after we all just hang out. You won’t die if you have to socialize for an hour, Becs,” Chloe rolls her eyes.

“You don’t know that,” Beca tells her seriously. Chloe just smiles and drags Beca down the hall to the common room. They’re early, so they manage to snag a seat on the arm chair, Chloe perched on the arm, and Beca on the actual seat, knees drawn to her chest. As other girls start to file in, Beca recognizes some of them. Fat Amy, a girl from her chemistry, winks at her. Most of them she knows by sight, but everyone seems to know Chloe.

When Alice stands up to lead the meeting, Beca zones out. She starts planning mixes in her head until Chloe startles her by dropping onto her lap, forcing Beca to put her legs out, one arm draped loosely over the arm of the chair, the other awkwardly wrapping itself around Chloe to keep her from falling.

“Wake up, sleepyhead. Alice is gonna kill you,” Chloe whispers. Beca blinks, yawning.

“I wasn’t asleep. Just… thinking,” she sighs. She really hadn’t been asleep, just zoned out.

“You snore.”

“I do not!” Beca hisses. Alice clears her throat, and Beca whips her head around, cheeks flaming.

“As I was saying, that concludes the formal part of our meeting. But, since it is the first month of the school year, we still need to play our ice breaker games,” she says, fixing Beca with a cold glare. There’s a collective groan from the room. “Oh shut up, we’re not doing the stupid ones. I was thinking we could do spin the bottle truth or dare,” she says with a smirk. Some of the girls whistle, but Beca just frowns.

“What?” Chloe asks.

“What is that game? I know spin the bottle, and I know truth or dare, but how do you combine them?” Chloe slides off the chair to sit cross-legged on the floor, dragging Beca down with her as the rest of the girls form a loose circle.

“We spin the bottle, and the person it lands on gets to choose between a truth, or a dare. It’s not really like spin the bottle except for the fact that we use a bottle, and we spin it,” Chloe explains with a giggle as Alice pulls out an old root beer bottle. She doesn’t even bother with a preamble, just giving the bottle a spin before sitting back on her knees. The bottle rolls to a stop on Amy and she just rolls her neck.

“Hit me with a dare, Alice,” she smiles. Alice just smirks, rolling her eyes.

“I dare you to… dance without any music for two whole minutes.” Without waiting, Amy moves to the middle of the circle, dancing wildly. She moves around on the ground, saying something about ‘mermaid dancing’ as she goes. Nobody notices when the two minutes pass until Alice clears her throat. The game continues, and Beca is saved from doing anything since the bottle never comes near her. She is just about to find some excuse to leave when it rolls to a stop, pointing at her.

“Truth or dare, Mitchell,” Alice smirks, one eyebrow raised. Beca squirms. She’s always hated this game. She hates picking truth because she hates answering personal questions, but she also hates picking dare because she doesn’t like purposely embarrassing herself.

“Um, dare, I guess,” she says, wincing. Alice just grins, all of her teeth showing, like a cat looking at a mouse. Beca almost wants to change her answer, but is more afraid of the questions she’ll ask.

“I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with…” Beca’s cheeks heat up as Alice looks around the circle. “Beale.” Beca hangs her head, suddenly remembering her dream from a few weeks ago.  _ Fucking hell. I’m not… Not gay. Can’t be. _

“Um, okay,” Beca mumbles. “Um, like, if Chloe’s um, okay with that, I guess.” She stands, rubbing the back of her neck, feeling the blush spread down to her neck and chest. Chloe stands to catcalls and whistles from her friends. She just shoots them a coy smile before taking Beca’s hand, pulling her towards a storage closet in the corner of the room.

“You know the rules, Beale. Make sure Beca follows them,” Alice calls, still smirking. Beca just stumbles into the closet behind Chloe, closing the door, yelping at the sudden darkness.

“Don’t be scared, Becs. I can turn the light on,” Chloe teases, pulling a string that dangles from the ceiling, giving the small room some light. Chloe moves some things to the side before leaning against the back wall.

“I’m not scared,” Beca mumbles, still staring at her feet, hands behind her back.

“So why won’t you look at me?” Chloe sounds hurt, and Beca immediately looks up, locking eyes with Chloe who is pouting. “If… If you don’t want to kiss me, I won’t force you.”

“I know that,” Beca says quickly. “It’s not that, I swear. I just… I don’t… I haven’t…” Beca trails off, frustrated with her inability to voice her feelings, like, ever.

“Beca, have you… never been kissed?” Chloe asks, the hint of a smile playing on her lips. Beca shoves at her, embarrassed.  _ This _ is why she hates playing truth or dare. Nobody else needs to know that.

“Shut up, I kissed Emmett Peterson once in, like, seventh grade but that was a peck. I’ve never done the whole… seven minutes in heaven thing.  _ Especially _ not with a girl,” she mutters. Chloe blushes.

“Me neither,” Chloe sighs. “Look, we can… We can just… Chill. But, um, you should know that Alice likes to check in when she gives dares, to make sure people are actually doing it. You gotta be careful because if she finds out you didn’t do it, she gets mad.  _ Really mad _ ,” Chloe explains quietly. They’re startled by a loud banging on the door.

“I’m not starting the timer until you stop talking and starting kissing,” Alice shouts. Beca is so frustrated, so nervous, she can feel her hands shaking.

“Alright, alright,” Chloe calls back. She smiles at Beca. “You okay with this?” She whispers. Beca nods. “Alright, Alice, we’re starting, okay?” She calls. Silence. Chloe leans forward until there’s just a hair’s breadth between them, leaving the last bit of space so that Beca has to make the move. She can hear Beca’s shaky inhale before Beca rushes forward, pressing their lips together.

And oh  _ God _ , this is so much better than kissing Emmett Peterson. It’s like every neuron is firing on high. Before she even knows what she’s doing, Beca has her hands on Chloe, one tangled in Chloe’s red hair, the other twisting in her belt loop, pulling her closer until there is no space between them. Beca is the first one to run her tongue over Chloe’s bottom lip, and then Chloe seems to wake up, coming out of what seemed to be a trance.

Beca doesn’t quite know what to do at this point, now that she can feel Chloe’s tongue all over her mouth. Their teeth knock together in their eagerness, and Beca starts to pull away, mortified. How does she tell Chloe, who’s so  _ good _ at this, that she has no idea what to do in this? When Chloe feels Beca pulling away, she chases after her, groaning at the loss of contact. With both hands on her waist, Chloe spins Beca around, pushing her against the wall, and Beca grunts at the force.

Within a moment, Beca can feel Chloe’s hands snaking up her body, running over the thin fabric of her tank top, and she wants to melt. She can feel her knees weakening as she starts to sink, but Chloe just holds her up, pins her against the wall. Beca whimpers, wrapping her legs around Chloe’s waist, letting Chloe hold her in place. 

She wants to be more active in this, wants to make Chloe feel as good as she does right now, so she takes one shaking hand, wraps it around the back of Chloe’s neck, just holding her. The other plays with the edge of Chloe’s t-shirt, trying to gain the courage to  _ do _ something. Finally, when she feels Chloe’s hand on the small of her back, Beca just shoves her hand up, a little too roughly. Chloe inhales sharply as Beca’s cold hands land on her stomach, and Beca starts to retreat before Chloe growls into the kiss, “don’t you dare stop.”

“Ch-Chloe,” Beca pants, leaning her head against the wall. “I-I, um, I need to, um, b-breathe.” She’s trying hard to breathe normally, but dear  _ God _ , this was good. Was it supposed to feel like this? With another girl? Beca’s straight, right? Right?

Chloe obeys, letting Beca catch her breath. Instead, she moves her attention to Beca’s neck, and Beca lets out an embarrassing whimper as Beca can feel teeth nipping at her sensitive flesh. She runs her tongue over the stinging spot, and Beca feels like she’s died. Died and gone to Heaven. She’s about to tell Chloe this when the door bursts open, flooding the room with light.

“Oh my God,” Alice gasps, and Beca opens her eyes to see Alice taking pictures, or video, or something.

“Oh my God,” Beca gasps. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloe threw off her groove!!
> 
>  
> 
> So, hey, what'd ya think? Things are happening! *eyebrow wiggle*


	6. The Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a cliffhanger like that... You've got to expect a hell of a lot of fallout

**Chapter 6: The Fallout**

  
  


“Beca, come on,” Chloe calls. As soon as Alice had opened the door, Beca jumped out of Chloe’s arms, shoving past Alice, who followed her with the phone, likely still recording. She ran out of the common room, locking herself in the bathroom to the catcalls and whistles of the other girls. Chloe followed after her, but Beca had locked the door. “Open up.”

“No, I-I-I can’t,” Beca stutters. If she lets Chloe in, she won’t just  _ talk _ . If she lets Chloe in right now, she might end up half-naked with her, making out again. Maybe even further. Beca is pacing, can’t stop her shaking hands.

“Beca, it’s okay. It was a stupid dare, and we just… Got out of hand. It’s okay,” Chloe keeps calling out.

“No!” Beca shrieks. “It’s not okay! I can’t… I just… It’s not! I’m not  _ gay _ !”

“Beca Mitchell, you open that door or I will get the janitors to open it,” another voice calls. But it couldn’t be-

“Aubrey?” Beca asks.

“Damn straight. Open the door.” Beca can hear the two girls whispering.

“No, you stay out  _ here _ , Chloe. Just let me talk to her!” She can hear Aubrey hissing. Beca hesitantly unlocks the door, and Aubrey slips in, keeping Chloe back with one hand before closing the door, locking it again.

“Why are you here?” Beca asks softly, going back to her frantic pacing.

“Alice sent that video of you guys doing your seven minutes to me and a few other a cappella girls on snapchat. Then Chloe didn’t answer my text, and I found her out here talking to a door. Figured you were freaking out,” Aubrey explains, arms crossed. She raises one eyebrow, watching Beca pace, running her hands through her hair. “Looks like I was right.”

“I just… I’m not freaking out. And I don’t need to talk about it, okay?”

“Stop pacing,” Aubrey orders. Immediately, Beca stills, leaning against the sinks, bouncing her leg. “Did you like kissing Chloe?” Beca didn’t even think it was possible to blush even deeper, but she manages.

“Wh-why are you, um, why are you a-asking?” Aubrey just sighs.

“Chloe gets attached, and when she falls, she falls hard. You might hear rumors about her being a slut, but she’s not. At all. She just… falls too fast. She’s a touchy-feely person, always snuggling, and hugging, and stuff. But I know her, and she doesn’t do  _ that _ unless she cares about someone. I don’t want her to get hurt. Did you like kissing my best friend?” Beca feels like a child being scolded by a teacher, and she drops her gaze, wanting to cry for some odd reason.

“I d-did,” she hiccups,” b-but I’m not  _ gay, _ ” she insists. Aubrey just scoffs.

“I am,” she says pointedly. Beca just tilts her head. “What, you surprised because I don’t look gay enough for you? We’ll talk about that ridiculous notion later. Point is, I’ve been where you are. With the questioning, the denial. Figuring things out is hard, I get it. So if you need to talk to someone who gets it, I’m here. Just don’t shut Chloe out.”

“I can’t… I  _ can’t _ ,” Beca wails.

“This doesn’t need to be figured out right this minute, Beca,” Aubrey says, softening. “Just… take a breath. Don’t panic. Tell Chloe you need time, don’t want anything right now. She’ll understand, I promise.” Beca just whimpers, feeling the tears she’d been fighting start to stream down her face. After a moment’s indecision, Aubrey comes over and hugs her, awkwardly patting her back. It takes Beca a few minutes to calm herself down, splashing water on her face before she turns back to Aubrey.

“Thanks,” Beca mumbles, unlocking the door to have Chloe fall into the bathroom, apparently leaning against it.

“Everything good?” Chloe asks, trying to play it off. Beca just nods, mumbling about how tired she is. Aubrey links her arm with Chloe’s, pulling her off to her own room with promises to explain.

 

Beca figures that since Chloe is likely to spend the night with Aubrey, now’s as good a time as any to look through the box her dad left for her. She finds a bunch of old photographs in frames on top, mostly her and her mother. Beca looked a lot like her; everyone said so. Her mother’s hair was more wavy, but it was the same rich color. She had her father’s eye color, but her mother’s face, her mother’s nose, her bone structure. Beca was often jealous of her mother’s beautiful, emerald green eyes, but her mother had insisted that Beca’s were better.

Alone in her bedroom now, Beca allows herself to cry, allows herself to miss her mother. Olivia Parker Mitchell was a radiant woman, a piano player. Beca credited her love of music to her mother. Her mother was often like the sunshine, happy, and singing. She used to take Beca to play in the park for hours, or go on impromptu shopping sprees just because. This is the way Beca chooses to remember her mother as she looks through the photo albums her dad had included.

She starts with the oldest one, before everything went wrong. Beca was a potato of a baby, always dressed in a rainbow of colors. Beca chooses to focus on her parents. Her father looks so much younger in these photos, like everything with Beca and her mother had aged him prematurely. Her mother is beautiful, completely radiant. And Beca is sobbing because, God, she’d screwed everything up. Beca thinks back to how her mother looked the last time she saw her, and it was nothing like she did in these pictures.

In the bottom of the box, Beca finds her old baby blanket folded carefully. Her mother had picked out the fabric, a soft white cotton covered in bunnies and French rhymes. Beca put this blanket away ages ago, when things started to go sour with her mom. She was six, and her parents had been arguing when they thought Beca was asleep. Her dad argued that she was babying their daughter, and Beca didn’t want to be the cause of her parents’ arguing, so the next morning she gave them her blanket, told them she didn’t need it anymore.

Nestled in the corner, she finds her old teddy bear. She had waited until she was ten to put that one away, but she wasn’t as obvious about her dependency on him after her parents’ argument. He was old, but not worn out. His fur was still soft, and clean despite all the nights she fell asleep crying into him. She just hugs him to her chest, for now. He still kind of smells like her mother: all flowers, and clean laundry. Still crying, Beca just curls up on her bed, clutching her blanket, and her bear, and lets herself cry. She isn’t much for wallowing, but when she thinks about everything she’s ruined lately, she allows it.

 

Chloe came back to the room just before curfew, before the security guards started doing room checks, and patrolling the hallways. She could hear the soft snoring when she opens the door, and she knows that Beca is asleep. She had spent the past hour and a half talking with Aubrey about how she felt, kissing Beca. Aubrey had refused to give details about what she’d discussed with Beca, but had assured Chloe that the younger girl wasn’t angry with Chloe, just embarrassed, and a little confused.

When she opened the door, Chloe smiled to find Beca curled up on a ball, sound asleep, silent except for the soft whistle of air through her nose. She comes closer, jumping around the discarded picture frames and albums still open on the floor. Chloe has a desire to look through them, but instead sits on the edge of the bed, pulling Beca’s comforter up around her. She’s closer now, and can see what Beca is clutching to her chest.

It’s an old teddy bear, soft and furry. It has a little outfit on, some kind of hand-knitted green sweater, and a black bow tie. Beca holds it clutched to her chest, a blanket in her fist. It’s hard to tell in the dim lamp light, but Chloe can make out little pictures of bunnies, and French words. Chloe smiles, moving to cover her with the comforter when Beca jerks awake.

“Whoa, Becs, relax,” Chloe whispers as Beca sits up, rubbing her eyes with her fist, still clutching the bear and the blanket to her chest with one hand. Her cheeks are lined from the sheets, and her hair is sticking out in all directions. She looks like a little kid, Chloe thinks.

“I am relaxed,” Beca whines petulantly. “Thought you were staying with Aubrey tonight,” she mumbles, her voice husky from sleep.

“No, we just talked. Who’s your friend?” Chloe teases gently.

“Theodore B. Mitchell,” Beca mumbles. After a moment, her eyes widen, her cheeks blushing. “Um, that’s what I called him when I was a kid,” she explains. “I called him Teddy when I was really little, then started calling him Theodore when I found out that’s what Teddy is short for. And the B stands for bear,” she shrugs, mortified but unable to stop talking.

“That’s cute,” Chloe giggles, and Beca groans. “Are these pictures of you?” She gestures to the pictures on the ground.

“When I was a kid,” Beca mumbles.

“You used to wear a lot of color,” Chloe teases. “When did that stop?” Beca stills. Her desire to wear dark colors started when her mother started getting sick. It was easier to blend in, to wear mute, neutral colors so she wouldn’t attract attention.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Beca whispers. Chloe just nods.

“Okay,” she says. “You going back to bed? We should put the stuff back in the box so we don’t step on it.” Beca nods, helping Chloe put all of the albums and frames back in the box. She picks up Theodore, and her blanket, tempted to put it all back. Instead, she curls up under the comforter, clutching them to her chest. Chloe has her back turned, getting ready for bed, and pretends not to notice. They also pretend not to notice that they haven’t actually discussed what happened in that closet. But that’s okay, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you guys for your patience! It's the end of the year, and senior stuff is kicking my butt. Also, I'm on my softball team so I've been busy with practices and games and stuff (but I caught an OUT yesterday!!! I've never done that before!!!!)


	7. The Activity Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a little bit more about Beca after they go to the mandatory Activity Fair

**Chapter 7: The Activity Fair**

  
  


“This is stupid,” Beca grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You say that about everything,” Chloe giggles. “Come on, it’ll be fun! What kind of club do you wanna be in?”

“Is there, like, a club for aspiring DJs?” 

“Uh, no.” 

“Too good to be true, I guess,” Beca sighs dramatically.

“There’s always-”

“I’m not trying out for you weird, all girls a capella group,” Beca interrupts. Chloe pouts.

“But we make music! With our mouths!” She argues.

“Do you even realize how gay that sounds?” Beca laughs, linking her arm with Chloe’s as they walk down the hall toward the courtyard. “Not gay, like stupid. But gay as in literally homosexual. Emphasis on sexual.” Beca is treated to watching Chloe blush, her entire face turning pink as her mouth opens and closes.

“So what would you rather join?” She finally asks.

“Anything but that,” Beca retorts. “Damnit,” she mumbles, ducking her head as she sees her dad on the edge of the courtyard where the mandatory activity fair is set up.

“Beca!” He calls out, jogging over. Beca quickly pulls away from Chloe, hoping her dad didn’t see. “Ah, hello Ms. Beale. Beca, do you know what club you’re joining yet?”

“We were just talking about that,” Chloe smiles.

“I don’t,” Beca admits.

“Ah, well, I was just talking to Ms. Patton, over there. She runs the theater club, and they have an excellent theater program. Remember last year-”

“Yeah, yep, okay dad,” Beca cuts him off nervously. “I’ll consider it, thanks, bye.” She hurries off, hearing Chloe bidding her father goodbye before running up beside her, elbowing Beca.

“Hey, slow down,” Chloe calls as they walk quickly through the packed crowd. Finally, once they’re across the courtyard, under a tree, Beca stops, running her fingers through her hair, still pacing in a circle. “Hey, what was that?”

“Nothing. Nothing,” Beca says quickly, frantically. “So, um, let’s get this stupid thing over with.”

“Why did your dad start talking about theater club?” Chloe presses. “Are you…” She grins. “Are you a theater nerd?”

“No!” Beca yelps, crossing her arms across her chest again, hardening her jaw. Chloe just giggles. As much as Beca may paint her face with layers of eyeliner, and scowls, and dark clothes, and snark, Chloe has a  _ feeling _ . “No, I-I-I, um, I’m not, like… Not a theater dork. Totally, um, no.” Finally, Beca manages to close her mouth, her cheeks red.

“You should work out a better lie, Mitchell. So, how many productions have you done?” Chloe bites the corner of her bottom lip, smiling.

“Shut up, Beale,” Beca growls.

“Was it… Becs, was it…  _ Musical _ theater?” Chloe’s giggling now, bouncing around.

“Oh my god,  _ stop _ !” Beca whines. “If I say yes, will you stop?”

“You did  _ musical theater! _ ” Chloe shrieks. “What shows? Oh my God, do you have old playbills? Pictures? Video? Oh, I have to see this!”

“Stop, stop, stop,” Beca hushes her, grabbing Chloe’s arm as she bounces around. “We’ll talk about that later. Let’s just go find me a stupid club to join, okay?” Chloe nods, still smiling broadly, but leads Beca by the hand out into the activity fair.

 

In the end, Beca does put her name on the sheet for the theater club, but  _ only _ because there were no other clubs she was interested in.

“So, you’re a musical theater nerd,” Chloe giggles, collapsing on the beanbag chair she’d put in their room. Beca, who had just sat down on her bed, nods, blushing again.

“I did a few shows,” she admits. “It was kinda fun, and my, uh, my mom got me into it.”

“What was your dad talking about earlier? Last year?” Beca is grateful that Chloe brushes over the mention of her mother.

“Oh, um I got the lead in my high school’s spring musical last year,” Beca shrugs, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Her blush is spreading from her cheeks to her ears and her neck now. “It’s no big deal.”

“You were a freshman last year, Becs!” Chloe squeals, running over to jump on the bed, jabbing Beca in the ribs in her excitement. Beca squeaks, pulling away and tucking herself into a ball, giggling.

“Yeah, I was,” she nods, resting her chin on her knees.

“What was the show?” Beca sighs, standing up and opening the box. One of the albums was dedicated entirely to her theater career, made by her mother one afternoon. It’s big, and pink, thick with playbills, and photographs of Beca in costume, on stage, off stage, and just running lines in the living room. Chloe takes the book, flipping through it with pure glee written all over her features.

Beca takes the time to study Chloe the same way Chloe studies the pictures. It’s still early in the afternoon, and the light coming through the window seems to create a halo around Chloe, like she’s an angel. Her skin seems to glow, her hair like liquid fire. Beca hates that the only simile she can come up with for Chloe’s eyes is the sky, or the ocean. Because they have so much more life than that. They sparkle, and they shift. There’s thousands of different facets of color that Beca is only now noticing as Chloe laughs, and studies the playbill from last year’s production.

“You played Cinderella?” Chloe’s lips are stretched so thin in her Cheshire cat grin. Beca traces them for a moment, the arch of her Cupid’s bow, the indent where Chloe bites her lower lip. She counts the freckles across the bridge of Chloe’s nose before realizing Chloe asked her a question.

“Uh, no, yeah. We did  _ Into the Woods _ , and I had been trying out for Little Red Riding Hood, but I got Cinderella. This senior, Angelina, was so angry with me. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and had had her eyes set on Cinderella. It’s the whole reason she convinced our theater teacher to do  _ Into the Woods _ . Yeah, so I was a pretty big theater nerd,” Beca rambles,looking at her hands rather than at Chloe.

“Well, I think Barden does two musicals, not just one. So, like, I can’t wait to see you try out,” Chloe says shyly. When she looks at her, Beca feels like Hercules, like she can do anything.  _ Oh God, I sound ridiculous _ , Beca thinks to herself.

“Thanks, nerd,” Beca grins, punching her shoulder.

“Hey!” Chloe protests. “You’re the theater nerd, not me!”

“And you’re the a cappella nerd,” Beca points out. Chloe just bites her lip, conceding. “Wanna help me study for a history quiz?”

“Sure,” Chloe agrees, putting the album aside as Beca pulls out her textbook. Chloe doesn’t notice the way Beca’s eyes linger on the image she had left it open to. It was a picture from  _ Into the Woods _ , just after opening night. Her mother had been having a bad week, but somehow made herself get up for the play. Her eyes were glazed over, Beca knew. She was hiding a grimace, but she smiled for the camera, played the part until they went home and she collapsed on the bed, unable- or unwilling- to move for two days. She doesn’t want to tell Chloe that  _ that’s  _ where she had gotten her acting abilities. When Chloe’s reading the questions to Beca, she kicks the album closed, shoving it under the bed.

“Why are you squinting like that?” Beca laughs, changing the subject.

“Don’t make fun of me,” Chloe sighs, bending over to retrieve a box from under her bed. She fiddles around with something before turning around, glasses now perched on the edge of her nose. Beca just grins. They’re cute glasses with big black frames, and somehow, they make Chloe look smarter, older, but also younger, sweeter, and more innocent.

“I thought you told Alice you had contacts,” Beca grins, confused.

“I tried, but they’re expensive, and my mom said she won’t get them when I have a perfectly good pair of glasses that she paid a lot of money for. But, um, Alice said that I couldn’t solo if I looked like a dork, so I’ve decided it’s easier to just… not wear them,” she says quietly, taking the textbook back and sitting on the edge of Beca’s bed.

“That’s ridiculous,” Beca scoffs. Chloe just shrugs. “Why do you even… Why do you stay in the group if she’s so terrible?”

“The Bellas are the best singing program on campus, and I love singing,” Chloe sighs.

“You should just… Quit. It’s not worth it if she’s such a bitch.”

“I’ll consider it,” Chloe shrugs, but Beca knows she won’t. Not really. “Now, let’s get you ready for this quiz.” And with that, the subject was dropped.


	8. The Principal's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why on Earth would Beca be called down to the principal's office? What kind of trouble has she gotten into lately except...

**Chapter 8: The Principal’s Office**

  
  


Beca was in history when they got the call. 

All of her classmates snickered childishly when Ms. Nelson told Beca she had to go to the principal’s office. Beca could feel her cheeks flaming as she gathered up her notebook and bags, but she didn’t look at anyone as she left, even though she could feel Stacie’s gaze burning the back of her head. Walking through the empty halls was a strange feeling, and Beca’s mind started to race out of control.

_ What did I do? I haven’t skipped any classes… I don’t think I have any contraband in my room. What qualifies as contraband? Did they finally figure out that I skipped the orientation? Would they call me down this long after? _ Beca tried to figure out what was happening.  _ Did something happen to Mom? _

“Ah, Miss Mitchell,” the secretary smiles upon entry. She nods, shifting from foot to foot. She types something into her computer and Beca takes a moment to study the room. It’s a decently sized waiting area with several decently comfy chairs lining the walls, all oriented around a low coffee table. The secretary’s desk is covered in papers, and the wall behind her smothered by pictures of her family. Her short gray hair is perfectly coiffed and her wire-rimmed glasses perch on the end of her nose. “Have a seat. Mr. Meisner will be ready for you in a few moments.” Beca nodded curtly, dropping into the nearest seat, fiddling with her hands. She wanted to pull out her cell phone just for something to do, but had a feeling it might be discouraged based on where she was currently sitting.

“You called for me, Ms. Slu?” A familiar voice chirps. She turned, startled, to find Chloe standing in the doorway. She smiles at Beca briefly before turning back to the secretary.

“I’ll let Mr. Meisner know you’re here. Have a seat.” Chloe drops down right next to her and she puts a hand on her knee. Beca hadn’t even noticed it was bouncing.

“Why are  _ you _ here?” Beca whispers. Chloe smiles, reaching up to pull Beca’s thumb away from her mouth as she bit her nail furiously.

“Could ask you the same, Becs,” Chloe teases. “Did you plant contraband in our room, or something?” Beca was saved from having to answer by the opening of the principal’s office door. 

“Come in, girls,” he says in his deep booming voice. Beca immediately jumped up, and Chloe followed after. Both girls wondered why they were in there together as they sat down. Chloe perched on the edge of her chair, back ramrod straight while Beca slouched, as if trying to hide. Beca’s knee started to bounce again, and Chloe rested a hand on top to still it. Mr. Meisner sent them a sharp glare, and Chloe removed her hand curiously. “We have a problem,” he sighs as he sits down. Chloe cocks her head, studying the way his brow furrows, the way he shifts in discomfort. 

“We do, sir?” She asks politely. Beca is chewing on her thumbnail again. 

“Have either of you been back to your dorm since you left for class this morning?” He asks.  _ I knew it was contraband! _ Beca thinks triumphantly.

“Nope,” Beca says, shaking her head.

“Your room was…”  _ Searched.  _ “Vandalized.” 

_ Wait, what _ ? Beca thinks.

“Vandalized?” Chloe repeats, shifting in her seat. “What do you mean?”

“Our custodial staff was doing rounds of the dormitory earlier and found your door had been spray-painted with a vulgar, derogatory term. We are trying to find the culprit but the surveillance videos aren’t conclusive. Meanwhile, we felt it necessary to speak to you,” he says, not really focusing on either girl. 

“What did they write?” Beca asks, relaxing now that she knows she isn’t in trouble. They’re just notifying her.

“We’ll, uh… We’ll get to that. I wanted-”

“No, wait, what did they write? Why are you talking to  _ us  _ about this?” Chloe interrupts. Mr. Meisner takes off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Someone painted the word ‘dykes’ across your door in red. Now, we’d like to discuss why they used this  _ particular _ term.” He pauses, as if gathering his composure.

“Wait,” Beca jumps in. “Are you going to try and say this is our fault? We’re not even… I’m not even gay! This is, like, a hate crime!” Beca’s leg is bouncing again and she bites on her thumb as if to silence herself.

“No one is saying that this is your fault. However, when we discovered the graffiti, we spoke to some potential witnesses. They said some things that we found… concerning. Are you aware of the video floating around of… the two of you?” Beca immediately blushes.

“There’s a video of us kissing, but I thought it was just on Snapchat, so, like, temporary.” Chloe’s bouncing her leg now, even faster than Beca. Beca’s entire face is deep red, and she can’t bring herself to look at the principal.

“Once something is on the internet-”

“It’s out there forever, yeah, I know. But Snapchat is designed to  _ not _ be permanent!” Chloe’s voice is squeaky now.

“There are ways around that. If the original sender kept the video, as I understand it, it can still be sent around, or hacked. That’s not the point of this discussion, though. We want to talk about, um, the  _ content _ of the video.” He pauses, letting that sink in.

“We were playing truth or dare,” Beca says softly. Mr. Meisner raises an eyebrow, tapping his ear.

“Speak up, dear,” he encourages.

“We were playing truth or dare,” Beca repeats, louder now. “That’s the reason we were… kissing. We were playing truth or dare.”

“Okay,” he nods. “But still. We have policies in place designed to protect students and keep them from… fraternizing. It’s why we have curfews, why students aren’t allowed in dorm rooms of the opposite sex after certain times, why security does patrols after curfew. The rules are also meant to keep same-sex couples from fraternizing,” Mr. Meisner explains.

“Sir, we’re not… fraternizing. We aren’t a couple,” Chloe explains gently. Beca nods. “And even if we were, that doesn’t give those students the right to vandalize our door. And it sure as hell doesn’t give anyone the right to take video of us and distribute it without permission! That’s, like, cyberbullying! Beca’s right. This was a hate crime, and we expect you to find them. That’s all we’re going to say right now. Unless we’re in trouble, we’re going to go.” Chloe stands and Beca hesitantly follows.

“Girls, sit,” he barks. “We are pursuing the vandals, and we will look into finding the original video, but you do not get to speak to me that way. If you are a couple, we can’t have you rooming together. It’s improper.” Beca’s temper flares at the way he sneers around the word “improper.”

“Sir, is there a rule against it? Being gay?” Beca asks, her fists clenching. “Last I checked it was 2016, and you’re not allowed to discriminate against people for that.” He sighs, standing up to pace behind his desk.

“No one is discriminating against you! We wouldn’t allow males and females in relationships to room together either!” He grunts, clearly frustrated.

“Sir, I think we should have someone in here on our behalf,” Chloe interrupts, putting out a hand to stop Beca from continuing to argue. “As minors, and citizens of the United States, we have a right to have someone advocating on our behalf.” He grunts, sitting back down.

“We can call your parents, if you like,” he sighs. Beca’s eyes widen.

“No! Don’t… Don’t tell my dad,” Beca begs, suddenly leaning forward in her chair. The skin around her thumb is raw and bleeding.

“Can my English teacher do it? Ms. Harley could do it,” Chloe offers.

“We will… contact her about a meeting. You may go back to class.” Beca stands, recognizing the dismissal. Chloe doesn’t follow.

“Who’s cleaning the graffiti off our door?” She asks. Beca stalls in the doorway.

“Maintenance. Ms. Slu will write you girls passes back to class.” With a wave of his hand, the girls go back out to get their passes.

 

Beca felt like everyone was staring at her when she got back to her health class. Her cheeks burned and she kept her head buried in her notebook, headphones in. Her knee bounced to the beat of the song she was trying to mix in her head. As soon as the bell rang, Beca was out the door and on her way to her room. She kept her head down, ignoring the snickers as she approached her door.

Standing there for a moment, she fumed. One finger traced the sharp, accusing letters. She closed her eyes, inhaling in an attempt to calm down but it’s like the image was seared into her mind. She saw the drips on the ‘k’ where the nozzle had gotten too close, leaving too much paint. Frustrated, Beca kicked at the wall next to the door and slammed it behind her. She knew people were whispering, but she just grabbed her clothes.

Within minutes, Beca was dressed in running shorts, a tank top, and sneakers. She wasn’t usually a runner (far too much effort, and she preferred to work out her frustrations with her mixing) but she was too keyed up to sit down. Grabbing her headphones again, she storms down the hall and finds her way to the wellness center.

People stare pointedly at Beca as she moves around the fitness equipment, but she keeps her head down, moving to the treadmill. She sets a decent clip and runs. When her feet pound against the machine, she can feel her head clearing. The only thing she can focus on is controlling her breathing, and the beating of her heart. Once she feels like she’s going to throw up, Beca runs slower, shifting to a walk before stepping off the treadmill. Her legs are shaking, but when the boy’s cross-country team smirks at her, snickering, rage burns through her.

She moves to the weight equipment, continuing her pace and intensity until her entire body feels like gelatin. Black spots swarm in front of her vision and she sips her water carefully, clinging to the wall as she makes her way outside. The air has cooled considerably, and Beca is reminded of how close to the Canadian border they are.

“Beca!” A voice shouts. Beca turns too quickly, dizziness growing stronger before she focuses on Chloe approaching her. Beca takes out her headphones to listen. “Beca, hi, you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“Fine,” Beca grunts, still trying to catch her breath. She watches a group of younger girls, probably middle school aged, pointing at them and whispering. She starts walking as quickly as she can, trying to distance herself from Chloe, but Chloe has endless energy, and didn’t just go on a two hour exercise binge.

“So, I think we should, like, talk,” Chloe says, skipping along beside Beca as they make their way back to the dorm. Beca just desperately wants to shower.

“We are talking,” Beca says, still a bit breathless. The girls in the dorm smirk as the girls pass by in the hallway.

“You know what I mean,” Chloe giggles. “We need to talk about… The kiss… What it, you know,  _ means _ .”

“It doesn’t have to  _ mean _ anything,” Beca says through gritted teeth. Her fingers are trembling, so she struggles to get the key into their door, forced to stare at the ugly, red letters until Chloe takes the key from her. “We were playing truth or dare, that’s all.” Beca is barely through the door before someone calls her name from down the hall.

“Beca!” She turns to find her dad approaching, the flaps of his coat flying out behind him, like some vampire in an old movie. Beca’s eyes are as wide as dinner plates and she shoves Chloe into their room. She wants to slam the door between them, but also wants to hide the vandalism from her father. “We need to talk.” Beca gulps as he frowns, eyes sliding over to the door.


	9. Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, I left you with a cliffhanger, sort of... What will Beca's dad say? We're about to find out!

**Chapter 9: Confrontations**

  
  


“Let’s, um, talk in here, I guess. You mind, Chlo?” Beca mumbles, awkwardly cupping the back of her neck. Chloe nods, skirting around them as Beca and her father enter the room, closing the door behind him.

Chloe bounds down the hallway to the common room, but the only other people in there are Alice and her two henchmen- henchwomen? Her crew? Whatever, Chloe didn’t know what to call them except “bullies.”

“Aw, Beale, having an argument with your little girlfriend?” Alice teases. Chloe steels herself and stares at her captain.

“She’s not my girlfriend. You should know that since you were the one who dared us to go into that stupid closet,” Chloe points out. She fidgets on her feet. “And I’m upset that you took that video and sent it around to people,” she adds.

“Aw, did I hurt little baby Beale’s feelings?” She laughs in a mocking baby voice. Chloe starts to turn red.

“Technically speaking, what you did was illegal, and it’s like cyberbullying,” Chloe fires back. Alice just laughs, looking to her friends Lucy and Amber on either side of her.

“You’re overreacting,” Lucy insists, smiling. She always did damage control, minimizing people’s feelings when Alice crossed a line. Away from Alice, Lucy was actually pretty cool, but she was far too under Alice’s thumb to be anything better.

“Typical for an unnatural little dyke,” Amber sneers. Sometimes, Amber was crueler than Alice. Chloe’s entire chest is turning red now, and she can feel tears itching in the corner of her eyes. Faintly, she can hear yelling down the hall.

“Aw, is your girlfriend in trouble? Did professor Daddy find out she’s a little dyke-whore?” Alice sneers. Chloe can hear Beca’s father yelling, followed by Beca’s sarcastic answers.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Chloe mutters petulantly.

“But you want her to be,” Alice teases in a sing-song voice. “Oh, come on, Beale. We’re just teasing.” Alice frowns as the yelling grows louder, angrier. “But you should go stop that before I have to get security about the noise level,” she adds with a warning glare. Chloe nods, running back down the hall. She gasps as she hears what Mr. Mitchell calls his daughter and yanks open the door.

 

Beca and her father stared at each other in silence for a moment after Chloe leaves. “What’s that on your door?” He says. Beca blushes, dropping onto her bed. He moves to sit on the edge of her desk, maintaining his height over her so that he’s literally looking down on her. Beca isn’t sure it’s unintentional.

“Some… idiots vandalized our door. Maintenance is going to clean it up. What do we need to talk about?” She prefers to get right to the point rather than discuss the homophobes in her dorm (not that she’s even  _ gay _ , but whatever).

“I talked to Mr. Meisner this afternoon,” he sighs.

“Shit,” Beca mumbles, her face going beet red.

“Language,” he admonishes. “He showed me a video of you and some other girl, and I felt we should… discuss.” When it became clear Beca wasn’t going to start talking, he adds, “you could have told me.”

“Told you what? I’m not gay,” Beca says quickly, her hands clenching into fists. To her dismay, her father just snorts.

“It’s a new world, Beca. Being… that way is just part of who you are, right? I just wish you’d told me.” His words are confident, warm and accepting, but his tone is not. It’s stiff, and awkward.

“But I’m not!” Beca sputters.

“God, Beca. Kids are supposed to tell their parents things! You don’t have to lie!” 

“When was I supposed to have told you anything,  _ Dad? _ ” She sneers the word. Part of her knows he’s trying to understand, and connect with her. She knows that she should give him a break and actually talk to him instead of shutting down. The larger, louder part of her is angry, yelling to keep him away.

“I am your father,” he hisses at her. “You can tell me things.” He sighs deeply. “I didn’t come here to fight-”

“Well, maybe I  _ want _ to fight!” Beca interrupts. She’s standing now. “Maybe I want to yell about how you weren’t there. Maybe that’s why I don’t tell you things!”

“Beca-”

“No! It’s my turn to talk!” Beca isn’t sure when she started yelling. “You left! You don’t get to act like some perfect father because you  _ left! _ I was just a kid, and I had to raise myself, and take care of mom! When things got hard, you ditched us! What happened to those wedding vows you made? For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or worse? Ringing any bells?” Her father stands, looking angry now, but he holds his tongue, letting Beca speak. “Sure, it was easy when it was for richer, for better, and in health. But when it got bad? You  _ left _ . Mom got sick, and you left me to deal with it, and I  _ hate you _ . I’ve hated myself for not protecting her but it’s just as much  _ your fault _ !” She’s pointing an accusing finger at him, and he swats it away, stepping closer.

“Don’t you dare blame me! I tried to help her for years, but she wouldn’t let me!” He’s spitting as he speaks, but Beca just steps closer. “I tried!”

“Not hard enough! How could you leave me alone with her? I had no one!” 

“I couldn’t take you with me, Beca. She wouldn’t let me,” he whispers desperately. Beca steps away, feeling the tears well up.

“Sure she wouldn’t,” Beca scoffs. “Blame Mom for everything. It’s all her fault that you left, her fault she got sick, and her fault that I kissed a girl. Guess what, Dad! I kissed a girl, and it was while I was under  _ your _ care, so whose fault is  _ that _ ?” She’s shouting again, not sure where this is coming from.

“Fine! So what? All I ask is that you tell me things!” He looks ready to pull his hair out.

“There’s nothing to tell!” Beca insists, on the verge of tears.

“I saw the video! What do you mean there’s nothing to tell?” Somehow, they’d circled back around to that damn video.

“It was just a game! Truth or dare. We got dared to do seven minutes in heaven.” Beca’s voice is soft now, scared. “We didn’t know they’d take videos, or send it around the school. It was just a dare.”

“Didn’t look like a dare,” he snorts. Turning to stand near the window, Beca’s dad crosses his arms over his chest, avoiding her gaze.

“I don’t understand what your issue is,” Beca finally says.

“You know, Beca, I’m not an idiot.” Beca doesn’t remember ever saying he was. “I played seven minutes in heaven as a teen. If I recall, you only get far with people you like. If it was someone you didn’t like, it didn’t end with being pinned to the wall, legs wrapped around each other while she sucks on your neck and you moan like a cheap, whorish porn star!” His voice seems to rise in agitation and soon he’s bellowing again. His words hit her like a punch in the gut, and she is left standing there, gaping.  _ Did he just call me a whore? _ The door slams open, startling them both.

“The entire floor can hear you,” Chloe whispers. Closing the door gently, she catches sight of Beca as her mouth opens and closes, no sound coming out, her face pinched up in an effort to stop the tears from falling. “I think you should go, Mr. Mitchell,” Chloe says, squaring her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Beca. I-I-I didn’t mean to say that,” he stutters. 

“Sir,” Chloe interrupts firmly. “I think it might be better if you give her a minute.” He just nods, starting to walk out. 

Stopping in the doorway, he says, “I really am sorry, Becs.” Chloe waits until he’s left the hallway before slamming the door and rushing over to Beca. Her shoulders are shaking, her entire body convulsing with the effort of keeping in her sobs.

“It’s okay,” Chloe whispers, leading her to the bed. “Just breathe, I’ve got you. He’s gone.” The first cry to leave Beca’s mouth is a pained, guttural whimper, and it breaks Chloe’s heart to see Beca’s face shining with tears. Her face is red, and her mouth is like a rectangle, she’s crying so hard.

“He h-hates me,” she sobs brokenly. Chloe shakes her head, rubbing Beca’s back. Reaching around, she hands Beca the old teddy bear and her comforter. Beca clings to the blanket, using it to muffle her cries with one hand while the other hugs the bear to her chest.

“No, Beca. Take a breath, it’s okay.” Chloe continues murmuring reassurances as Beca sobs. Slowly, they dissipate into occasional whimpers, then hiccups, then little sniffles. It’s at this point when Chloe finally speaks again. “Wanna talk about it?” Normally, Beca would mumble some excuse, put in her headphones, and avoid eye contact. Maybe she’s still feeling raw from all the tears. Maybe it’s the exhaustion from her exercise binge. Maybe it’s the stress of a really long, really sucky day. Whatever it is, it makes Beca nod.

“Okay,” she croaks, her voice rough and thick from crying. Chloe just sits, waiting for Beca to start talking. After taking a few deep breaths, she does. “I don’t even know what we were arguing about.” Chloe nods.

“Can I…?” She trails off. Beca nods. “It sounded like you were angry with him for leaving you and pushing you away. He’s probably angry with himself, too, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He shouldn’t have talked to you like that,” she says softly. Beca just chuckles sadly.

“He didn’t start the argument, I did. He was just talking and I think I twisted his words, and I made it worse,” she admits.

“I think…” Chloe stops, unsure of whether this is crossing a line. “Why do you get so upset any time someone mentions the kiss and assumes we’re a thing?” Beca squirms, burying herself in a cocoon of blankets.

“I dunno,” she mumbles.

“Are you sure?” Chloe pushes.

“I’m not… I’m not gay,” she whispers.

“Have you noticed that you say it like it’s a dirty word? It isn’t, Becs,” Chloe prods.

“I know there’s nothing wrong with it. I  _ know _ that, Chloe. And it’s fine that Aubrey’s gay. It’s fine for people to love who they want, and marry who they want, and adopt kids, and get good jobs, and everything. That’s fine, okay? I know that! But it’s just… It’s stupid but I kind of… It’s just weird that it’s me, you know?” Chloe’s nodding now, taking a deep breath.

“I get it, Beca. I do because… I’m questioning everything, now. I always thought I was straight, right?” Beca nods, scooting closer to Chloe. She wraps the blanket around the both of them, still clutching the teddy bear to her chest. They’re so close that their knees are touching. “I had this silly plan. I’d go to school, graduate, meet a nice boy. We’d get married in the church that my parents got married in. We’d have a couple of kids… Just typical suburbia, right? But now… I have these feelings and I can’t… They don’t fit with my plan and I don’t know what to do,” Chloe whimpers, her lower lip starting to tremble.

“F-feelings?” Beca asks. Chloe nods.

“We never really talked about it. But I really,  _ really _ liked kissing you. Like, a lot. But I still think about guys, too. So I don’t know what… What’s going on with me, and that’s scary.” Beca nods, unconsciously leaning closer. “Do you… Did you like kissing me?” And there it is. Chloe has laid herself bare, even more so than when she was standing naked in the shower stall. She’s biting her lower lip, unable to look Beca in the eye.

“Uh huh,” Beca squeaks, her cheeks flaming. “Didn’t you hear my dad? I liked it so much I sounded like a porn star,” she jokes weakly. Chloe frowns. “No, I did though, and that’s what scares me.”

“What if… What if we be scared together?” Chloe asks. Beca doesn’t know when they got so close. When they ended up just inches away from each other. But now that she’s aware, she finds her gaze flicking down to Chloe’s lips. Looking back up, she notices Chloe staring at hers. As if possessed, she surges forward.

The kiss is frenzied, and needy. They’re tangled in the blanket for a moment, tripping over it as Beca works to straddle Chloe’s lap. They pull apart for a moment, giggles slipping out, before righting themselves. One hand woven in Chloe’s hand, the other on her hip, Beca smiles through the kiss. Chloe pulls away, pulling a face as she removes a long, brown hair from her mouth.

“Who knew kissing girls could present this problem?” Chloe giggles. Beca throws her head back, laughing, and tumbles off of Chloe’s lap. They sit in a blissful silence, smiling at nothing, and everything. After a while, Chloe speaks again. “Hey Becs?”

“Hmmm?” the brunette hums, sitting up to smile at Chloe.

“What is this?” She gestures between them.

“Can we like… figure it out as we go?” Beca asks. “Because I still don’t… I just like kissing you. I can’t classify myself as gay yet. Please?” Chloe nods, still a little confused.

“But like… If someone asks me on a date, what should I do?” she asks. Beca frowns.

“I mean, it’s not fair of me to say you can’t date anyone else because… like… God I’m terrible at this. Feelings aren’t my… my strong suit. So, like… if you want exclusivity, fine. If you don’t, fine. But I can’t… can’t do  _ us _ publically. Not unless I figure my shit out,” Beca rambles, standing and pacing with one hand on her hip, the other running through her hair.

“Okay,” Chloe hums. Beca stops and turns.

“Okay?” Chloe nods, smiling, holding out her hands. Beca automatically walks over, holding her hands and sitting on the bed. “So… okay as in exclusivity or open?” Beca clarifies. Chloe smirks, leaning forward to plant a kiss on Beca’s nose. 

“You’re mine,” Chloe whispers. “No one needs to know, but I don’t like sharing.” Beca nods.

“O-kay,” she squeaks. Chloe laughs, hopping off the bed to move to the desk, opening her backpack. Beca follows her lead, shaking her head as she starts her homework. 

“Beca?” Chloe asks, still focused on her math homework. 

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask about your mom?” Beca stiffens.

“Haven’t I, like… bared my soul enough for one day?” Beca mumbles. She’s still raw from the argument with her dad, and confessing her feelings to Chloe. If she talked about her mom, too, Beca might just fall apart.

“You don’t have to discuss it right now. Or ever. I was just curious,” Chloe shrugs, still not looking at Beca, trying to emphasize the nonchalance.

“Maybe another time,” Beca promises. Chloe nods. They go back to doing their homework until Aubrey comes knocking at the door, asking if they want to go to dinner. The graffiti on their door seems to be glowing, as if it knows what Chloe and Beca had done. It mocks Beca all the way down the hall, shouting her indiscretions for everyone to know. Beca is grateful when the elevator door closes and it’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This, my dear friends, is what we call projection. I wrote Beca and Chloe's struggles based on my own, so I hope you don't find them too inaccurate. As always, thanks for reading! I'm always trash for reviews!


	10. What Is This Feeling?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, here be Staubrey! I'm trash for a good Staubrey side ship

**Chapter 10: What Is This Feeling?**

  
  


“Don’t make me eat dinner with Posen,” Stacie whines.

“You’ve had dinner with us before, Stace. Come on, I  _ need _ you,” Beca begs as they walk through the dinner line, grabbing the most unhealthy choices. Luckily, Chloe and Aubrey had branched off to make themselves salads, or something equally as healthy and unappetizing. Beca had grabbed Stacie’s arm as soon as she’d seen her by the pizza line.

“Aubrey Posen is, like, my sworn nemesis. I only eat with her if Chloe invites her  _ after _ I’ve sat down. We don’t mix well,” Stacie explains patiently. “Besides, why do you need me? Chloe will sit with you.”

“I need a  _ buffer _ ,” Beca hisses. Stacie quirks an eyebrow, curious now. “I kinda… I argued with my dad and Chloe overheard and we got into a ‘feelings talk.’” Beca shudders the phrase, as if it physically pained her. It kind of does. “I don’t know if I’m on my period, or what, but I shared a lot of… personal stuff and we kinda… kissed a little bit.” Stacie rolls her eyes.

“First of all: you are allowed to experience emotions without the excuse of menstruation. Don’t be ridiculous. Second: you  _ kissed her?! _ ” Stacie, thankfully, whispers the last part.

“Yes, we did. And it was good. I liked it. Are we done? Can you be my buffer at dinner? Please?” Beca whispers.

“Sure thing, shortstack,” Stacie beams. Beca is too relieved to scowl at the nickname.

 

“Oh, why did she bring Conrad?” Aubrey groans quietly as they walk to the table. Chloe elbows her.

“You know they’re friends. You’ve eaten with us all before,” Chloe reminds her quietly as they gather forks and napkins.

“Stacie Conrad is the enemy. She thinks she can just waltz in and take everything I have worked for. I will not sit with her and pretend everything is fine,” Aubrey says, her tone clipped and abrasive.

“Oh enough with this ‘enemy’ talk. She’s smart. You have a toner for her. Move on!” 

“I do  _ not _ have a toner for that… that…  _ woman.” _

“Bree, can you please just come sit? I’ll tell you all about how I kissed Beca this afternoon,” Chloe sings. Aubrey’s eyes widened.

“Alright, fine, I’ll sit with the troll and the hobbit. But I fully expect all of the details from this afternoon. Everything. Understand?” Aubrey nods, walking ahead of Chloe and practically slamming her tray down next to Stacie, leaving the seat next to Beca wide open for Chloe. She can feel Stacie’s eyebrow rising as she looks over.

“Posen,” she says cordially.

“Conrad,” Stacie nods briskly. Chloe just rolls her eyes as she sits next to Beca.

 

“I’m not  _ saying _ that my way is the only way. All I’m saying is that it’s the most  _ efficient _ way to get the answer,” Stacie says. Aubrey is grinding her teeth. Beca is staring at her tray, wondering why the hell the two girls were arguing about calculus homework.

“Calc is my best subject. I don’t need you to tell me your way is better. I know what I’m doing.” Aubrey’s tone is clipped.

“How about we change the subject? Not talk about schoolwork?” Chloe says loudly. Aubrey and Stacie ignore her.

“You know one way, but it takes too long. When you take the AP test, it’ll compromise your ability to finish. It’s a timed test, Posen!” Stacie snorts. She’s chowing down on her dinner, not noticing the way Aubrey is gripping her knife tighter, breathing through her nose to try and keep calm.

“Listen, Conrad, why do you even give a shit about how I do on the test?” Aubrey barks. Stacie’s cheeks tinge pink, and she shoves food in her mouth so that she doesn’t have to respond. Aubrey just huffs. “I have an econ paper to write. Chlo, don’t forget we need to talk,” she says, taking her tray up before leaving the cafeteria.

“I’d better go with her before she frightens the underclassmen. See you guys later,” Chloe stage whispers before running off after her blonde best friend.

 

“What’s even up with you and Aubrey?” Beca asks. They’d moved to the library after dinner so that Stacie could help Beca understand chemistry (apparently, Stacie was like, a  _ genius _ when it came to all things sciencey, and Beca was  _ so _ going to capitalize on for her tutoring sessions).

“She’s hated me since, like… Okay, so I started here in eighth grade and she’s basically hated me since then,” Stacie sighs. “So, you need to label the atomic structures,” she says, pointing to Beca’s worksheet.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Why does she hate you? What did you do?” Beca shoves the paper to the side to focus on the gossip.

“I didn’t do anything,” Stacie glares. Beca levels her gaze. “Fine,” she huffs. “Well, you know I skipped third grade right?” Beca nods. Stacie had explained this when Beca found out she was only 16 years old. “So, I got here for the start of eighth grade and everyone made this big deal because I was young. And for our eighth grade graduation thing, they gave out this award to the best scholar. Kind of like the top student. And they called my name. I guess Aubrey had been working toward this her entire career, and had always expected it. So when I got it, she was pissed, and it got even worse when we got to high school because now we’re competing for valedictorian and stuff.”

“So she’s mad because you’re smart?” Beca asks, squinting. Stacie nods.

“She thinks that because she has to work harder for it means she deserves it more. Can I help it if it just clicks better for me? I still work my ass off to get everything done and put effort in,” Stacie snorts.

“Well, when do you find out about class rank? It’ll be like… the be-all, end-all of your rivalry!” Stacie rolls her eyes.

“It’s a stupid rivalry. And we find out in October so we can do our college applications. Do your homework.”

“Have you ever considered…” Beca pauses while she fills in one of her problems. “That maybe your weird rivalry is like… sexual tension?” Beca waggles her eyebrows. “Posen swings that way, right?”

“Shut up and do your work,” Stacie snaps. Beca giggles, but lets the subject drop for now.

 

“Okay, that was ridiculous,” Chloe sighs. She links her arm with Aubrey’s as they walk back to the dorm.

“She started it!” Aubrey argues.

“No, all she did was ask if you’d done your calc homework yet. You turned it into an argument about whose methods were better,” Chloe corrects gently. Aubrey grumbles unhappily. “I still think you should just kiss her and get it over with.”

“Chloe,” Aubrey hisses warningly. “I hate her.”

“You and I  _ both _ know that competition turns you on. And so does a smart, sexy girl. Stacie is all of those things,” Chloe lilts. She sighs when they stop in front of her door, regarding the graffiti.

“I still can’t believe someone would be so stupid, and judgmental, and idiotic, and… and… close-minded,” Aubrey rants quietly. “Do you have a piece of paper?”

“What are you gonna do?” Chloe asks as she unlocks the door. Aubrey doesn’t respond, just grabs a marker and a paper. Her tongue pokes out the side of her mouth as she scrawls something on the note, grinning when she tapes it to the door, just underneath the offensive word (which has still yet to be cleaned off). “Clever,” Chloe giggles. 

“Now, we’re coming to  _ my _ room so you can tell me all about you and the hobbit,” Aubrey grins, dragging Chloe down the hall to the staircase.

 

“What is taking them so long on cleaning off this damn door? I’m about to do it myself. And what is that note?” Beca rages as she runs down the hallway. She peers at it, reading it aloud. “‘ _ Think you got the wrong door. With love, the real dyke from room 413.’ _ Who the hell is in 413?”

“Oh, no way in hell is Posen outdoing me on this.” Stacie grabs Beca’s notebook, ripping out a piece of paper, narrating her note as she write it. “And so what if they are, dumbass? #Loveislove #Loveislouder. Love, the pansexual in 522,” she mumbles. She grins as Beca opens the door and she grabs the tape to fix her own sign just underneath Aubrey’s.

“Pansexual?” Beca raises one eyebrow.

“Love is love, pleasure is pleasure. I like the person by their personality, not their junk, or what they identify as,” Stacie shrugs.

“How did you know Posen is in room 413?” Beca waggles her eyebrows, and Stacie just rolls her eyes, throwing a pillow at her. Beca grins when she notices Stacie’s pink cheeks.

“I’m going back to my room, loser. Call me if you have any other homework issues.”

“If it’s math, I’ll probably call Aubrey,” Beca teases. Stacie whips around, narrowing her eyes. 

“Do it and die,” she warns. Beca just blows her a sarcastic kiss as Stacie slams the door.


	11. What Are We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe’s been patient, she really has.
> 
> She’s waited a few days for everything to calm down. She went to her classes, did her homework, went to the interest meeting for the Bellas, and studied. She never pushed Beca to talk, never kissed her. Chloe wanted to wait until Beca was ready to talk. But it had been three days since they kissed and agreed to figure things out.

**Chapter 11: What Are We?**

  
  


By the time Friday rolled around and maintenance got around to removing the graffiti, everyone had already seen it. Pictures were sent around faster than the video of Beca and Chloe making out. Chloe had been scrolling through tumblr one afternoon and had been surprised to see it being sent around, reblogged by all of the activist blogs. Everywhere the girls went, people stared, and whispered. When they were together, it was even worse, despite Mr. Meisner’s all school assembly about ‘persecuting the vandals’ and how school is ‘a community of acceptance.’ Fat lot of good his speech did.

“Are they even  _ allowed _ to room together?” Someone whispers before gym class. The words bounce around the locker room, seeming to echo before reaching Beca, whose ears redden and fists clench.

“They shouldn’t even be in here,” someone adds.

“What if they’re, like…  _ Looking _ at us?”

“It should be, like, illegal for them to be in here while we change.”

“Oh please,” Beca mumbles. She turns to face everyone, t-shirt in hand as she faces everyone in her oversized red basketball shorts and a black sports bra. “You people are ridiculous! We were playing truth or dare, and we kissed! Get over it!” she shouts. “Not that I’m even really gay, but if I were, this would be bordering on discrimination. I have a right to change in here. No, I’m not  _ looking _ at any of you change because that’s creepy. Just because I kissed a girl once doesn’t mean I’m pining over all of  _ you _ just because you have vaginas!” There is silence as Beca turns and angrily pulls her shirt on.

“You guys should really learn to pull your heads out of your asses. It’s 2016, guys. Come on,” Chloe adds, sidling up next to Beca.

“Yeah,” someone echoes. And suddenly, the two girls who had been whispering are apologizing as everyone starts to agree with Chloe. Nothing more is said about it.

 

Chloe’s been patient, she really has.

She’s waited a few days for everything to calm down. She went to her classes, did her homework, went to the interest meeting for the Bellas, and studied. She never pushed Beca to talk, never kissed her. Chloe wanted to wait until Beca was ready to talk. But it had been three days since they kissed and agreed to figure things out.

“Am I allowed to kiss you?” Chloe asks out of nowhere. They’re both lying on their beds, just goofing around. It was early Saturday afternoon, and Beca had to be at an interest meeting for theater in an hour or so.

“Uh, what?” Beca asks dumbly, jumping off the bed to face Chloe, face red. “Like, like right now?”

“Whenever. I just… I’m really trying not to push you out of your comfort zone, Becs. I’m  _ really _ trying. But I want to kiss you sometimes. And I want to know if that’s okay,” Chloe sighs, closing her computer. Beca doesn’t respond, picking at a loose thread on her sweater sleeve. “Becs?” Chloe asks. 

Beca doesn’t respond except to surge forward, straddling Chloe’s lap. One hand tangles itself in Chloe’s mane of curls. The other rests on her hip, grabbing at the fabric of her t-shirt. Immediately, Chloe’s hands find purchase on Beca’s sides, squeezing for a moment before pushing herself away.

“Stop!” she gasps. Beca pales before her entire face starts to burn.

“Was I- oh God, did I, um- was I doing it wrong?” Beca mumbles, refusing to look at Chloe. “Did I misread the signs, or something? Oh God, I’m just a terrible kisser. I’m sorry I-”

“Beca!” Chloe interrupts, putting a hand on the nervous girl’s shoulder. “No, that’s not the problem. You’re a fantastic kisser, and I want to kiss you. But I meant for this to be… More of a conversation? I wanted to, like- oh God- talk about us? Like what we are, and if we can define it… If we can tell people…” Beca bites her lip, finally chancing a glance up at Chloe. Chloe’s blushing too, here eyes impossibly wide and vulnerable.

“But… We can’t tell people. The school will make us change rooms and everything. They’ll find some stupid old, outdated rule to expel us. God the bullying was bad enough when I  _ wasn’t _ really gay. What’ll people do if I come out?” Beca stands, pacing.

“Aubrey did it her freshman year. A few idiots were rude for about a week, but she broke some guy’s nose when he went too far. After that, everyone just kind of accepted it. And the school tried to say she couldn’t room with anyone, but her dad threatened a discrimination lawsuit,” Chloe shrugs. “Becs, I’m not saying we  _ have _ to do this right now. I just wanted to start the discussion.” Beca is still pacing, a thousand and one different disaster scenarios running through her head.

“What if my dad hates me?” she whispers, suddenly stopping.

“He’s your  _ dad _ , plus he already said it’s just part of who you are, remember? When he came to you after he saw the video?” Chloe stands to put her hands on Beca’s shoulders, but the brunette just starts her pacing anew.

“But what if he didn’t really mean it? What if… What if he disowns me and I can’t go to school here anymore?”

“He can’t disown you, Becs. You’re still a minor,” Chloe reminds her. “He can’t send you back to your mom, right?” She’s probing, trying to find out what Beca’s deal with her mom is. Even after over a month of rooming together, Chloe can’t figure anything out.

“No, he can’t send me back. But he could just, like, leave me on the side of the road. Or abandon me in the woods. He could take me to the Canadian border and leave me there.” Chloe stands in Beca’s path, putting two hands on her shoulders to force her to stand still.

“Beca, you’re being ridiculous. Those things will not happen. Your dad will get over it. He has to know sometime. If it’s giving you this much anxiety to even consider telling people, we won’t do that now. I just wanted to talk about it as an option. Because I like the idea of holding your hand in the hallway, kissing you when we leave for class. I like these things, and I wanted to be able to do them without worrying about people seeing,” she says, keeping her voice even and soothing.

“I want those things, too,” Beca whispers, tears suddenly pricking at her eyes. Before she knows it, she’s sobbing, and Chloe is pulling her onto the bed, holding her close. “Wh-why can’t I t-tell people?” she whimpers. “I w-wanna sh-shout it from the r-rooft-tops that you’re my g-girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Chloe asks. Beca freezes, her tears stalling. She pales. They hadn’t discussed the g-word yet. She turns sheepishly to Chloe to find her beaming. She leans in to press a kiss to the tip of Beca’s nose. “I would love to be your girlfriend,” she whispers. Beca grins, sniffling. 

“Can we just, like, table the discussion on telling people yet?” Beca whispers. Chloe hums her agreement.

“Only if we can go back to kissing,” she breathes, her nose pressed up against Beca’s, their lips centimeters apart. Beca can only squeak in response, surging forward to close that distance.

 

“Homecoming is stupid,” Beca grunts. Stacie had been bothering her about coming to the game the entire week, and she was over it.

“Homecoming is easily the most important week at Barden. It kicks off our parents’ weekend. Everyone’s family comes to the game on Friday night, and all the kids go to the dance on Saturday night. We have an open house for parents on Saturday, and family activities all weekend. It’s actually not stupid,” Aubrey sniffs. She and Stacie had gotten better at ignoring each other when the entire group sat together for lunches.

“Aubrey’s right,” Stacie nods. Aubrey chances a brief, surprised glance before smiling to herself and going back to her lunch. “You  _ have _ to come to homecoming. Are your parents coming this weekend?”

“My dad teaches here, so he’s already here,” Beca shrugs.

“Mom’s not coming?” Aubrey asks. Beca just shakes her head. Thankfully, they drop the subject as the lunch period ends.

 

“You should meet my parents when they come,” Chloe says, bouncing down on the common room couch next to Beca. Beca had been in the middle of a mix, but quickly closed the computer when Chloe sat down.

“Like  _ meet the parents _ or just meeting my roommate’s parents?” Beca whispers. Chloe giggles.

“Well, all they know is that you’re my roommate,” Chloe sighs back, trying to keep any hints of resentment out of her voice. Beca just nods awkwardly.

“Okay. Just text me when they get here.” They lapse into silence for a while focusing on the stupid TV show someone had left on.

“Beca, why isn’t your mom able to come? Is she… has she passed away?” Chloe finally asks, softly like she’s afraid Beca will break if she says it too loudly. For a moment, Beca is tempted to say yes just to make things easier.

“No,” Beca sighs. She doesn’t say another word, just packs up her things and starts to head back for her room. She’s standing in the hallway entrance when she notices Chloe still on the couch. “You coming?” Beca calls. Chloe nods, grinning as she bounds off the couch. Once they’re walking side by side, she adds, “that’s not exactly a discussion for the common room.”

Back in their room now, Chloe lets Beca settle in, putting her school things away and getting comfortable at her desk in the rolling chair. Folding herself onto her bed, gently laying a blanket over her legs, Chloe watches Beca fiddle with the chair, giving her time to compose her thoughts. They’re both settled now, each waiting for the other to start.

“My parents divorced when I was, like, eight. I didn’t even know until one day, my dad just didn’t come home. He never said goodbye, never called. He just… left us,” Beca finally says. “And when he left, he gave my mom sole custody. He didn’t even want me part time. He just gave up on me.” She shrugs, as if it doesn’t hurt to finally say these words. Her dad abandoned her. It’s the truth.

“Why’d he leave?” Chloe asks. Beca inhales deeply.

“My mom wasn’t… a normal mom. She has schizophrenia, so she’d have her good days and her bad days. Sometimes, she was just a mom. She’d be in really, really awesome moods where nothing could go wrong and we’d go shopping just because. Then, for no reason, something would trigger her and she’d think the store clerk was following us to kidnap me and rape me. So she’d take me home and lock me in my closet to protect me. Sometimes, I’d be in there for hours before my dad came home.

“And other times, she’d be totally catatonic. She wouldn’t move except to do circles around our coffee table. It, like, soothed her or something. She and my dad would get into these terrible, awful arguments about what to do with me, and how she needed help. She always said she wasn’t crazy, and he just couldn’t see the world the way she could. I guess he just got fed up with it, so he left.”

“Beca,” Chloe whispers, desperate to go over and hug her. But she knows the story can’t be over. Why does her dad have her now if he left them seven years ago?

“My mom didn’t get help. But now it was just me and her. So it was  _ my  _ job to talk her down when she thought someone was stalking us,or listening in on our conversations. It was  _ my _ job to make sure she ate and took showers and brushed her teeth when she couldn’t bother to do it herself. It was  _ my _ job to make dinners, and keep her from going off the deep end all the time.” Beca doesn’t notice her eyes brimming with tears until one slips down her cheek. In an instant, Chloe is out of her seat and crawling onto Beca’s lap, kissing away the tear.

“You can stop, if you want,” she offers softly, wrapping her arms around Beca’s neck to keep herself on the chair and pressing their foreheads together.

“I wanna tell you. I have to tell someone,” she breathes out with a watery chuckle. “So, one day towards the end of my freshman year, my mom came to pick me and my friends up at school. We didn’t know she was coming, but she was having a good day and wanted to take us to the mall. I tried to get my friends to stay so we could do homework, just in case she had one of her episodes, or something. You know?” Chloe nods even though she doesn’t  _ quite _ know.

“But you guys went shopping,” Chloe asks.

“We went shopping,” Beca nods. “And… it was okay for a while. But then my mom saw these guys. Probably thirty. And she thought they were rapists, and they were following us. She mentioned this to my friends, and they got scared so I started to take them back to the car. Then the guys were moving in our direction, and my mom flipped out. She started screaming, shoving us into the car. She said they would never get us, she’d kill us before they got us. My friends were freaked at this point because she shoved us into the car, locked the doors and sped off. She was driving like a lunatic, and we really were afraid she was going to kill us to protect us.

“We were going, like, 80 down the highway when the cops started following us. My mom kept saying they were trying to rape us, too. She didn’t slow down until I grabbed the wheel and took us onto the dirt. Once the car slowed down some, I pulled the emergency brake until we came to a stop…”

“Was anyone hurt?” Chloe asks after a moment.

“No,” Beca sniffs. “But they arrested my mom for child endangerment.  She got a deal and she’s serving out her sentence in a psychiatric ward. I can only see her on supervised visits, and they had to find my dad to take custody until I’m 18… I should have taken better care of her,” Beca finishes with a whimper.

“It’s not your fault,” Chloe assures her, nuzzling her head into Beca’s neck. The sophomore is shaking with the effort of keeping her sobs in.

“I should have been able to keep her safe,” she moans. “It’s my fault!”

“No,” Chloe assures her,peppering her face and neck with kisses. Chloe swallows the salt of Beca’s tears, kissing her lips to try and soothe her. Beca is just starting to respond, forgetting her sadness when a loud knock at the door makes them jump apart.

“Room check!” Alice calls. “Gotta make sure your rooms are up to snuff for tomorrow!” Beca just wipes at her eyes, picking up the dirty clothes from the floor as Chloe goes to open the door.


	12. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything gets more complicated when there's family involved...

**Chapter 12: Family**

  
  


“When are your parents coming in?” Beca asks as they walk back to the dorms. It was only lunch time, but they had a half day since so many parents were coming in. Chloe also insisted that it was so people could get their outfits and everything ready for the dance, but Beca thought she was just kidding. Not that she’s ever really sure with Chloe.

“My whole family is coming, and they don’t get here until later tonight, so they’re meeting me at the game,” Chloe hums, skipping ahead to wave to some lower school kid as they passed.

“Whole family? How many of you are there?” Beca jokes.

“Just five, including me. There’s my mom, my dad, my older brother Travis, and my younger sister Iris,” she explains.

“Why don’t your siblings go to Barden?” Beca cocks her head as she opens their door. She’s pretty sure she would have noticed another Chloe Beale walking around the school.

“Well, Travis is super into sports, so he stuck around for our local teams. He was getting scouted already, so he never really wanted to leave. And Iris is just kind of a nerd. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But she’s not into music or performing arts or anything, so she stayed for the academic stuff,” Chloe shrugs. She spins on her heel to point an accusing finger at Beca. “But don’t think you can distract me! We have to find you a homecoming dress!” Beca groans internally. And externally, to Chloe’s chagrin. 

“I don’t own any dresses,” Beca whines.

“You live in a dorm building full of girls.  _ Someone _ must have a dress you can borrow,” Chloe points out. “Let’s start with my closet. Come on.” She beckons Beca over with one finger.

“‘Step into my web,’ said the spider to the fly,” Beca murmurs, rolling her eyes as Chloe starts pulling out more dresses than could possibly fit in this closet.

 

After an hour of Beca trying on different dresses and complaining about every single one, they move to Stacie’s room.

“You really think  _ Stacie’s _ clothes are going to fit me?” Beca snorts, glancing down at her chest.

“Stacie flaunts it more, but I think you’re  _ just _ as well-endowed as she is,” Chloe hums. And if Beca was at all confused what she was talking about, the way Chloe’s gaze turned predatory and lust-filled as she rakes her eyes over Beca’s chest is pretty self-explanatory. Beca just blushes and crosses her arms over her chest. “Plus her coloring is similar to yours so the colors of her outfits would be more complementary.”

 

In the end, Beca did  _ not _ fit into Stacie’s dresses. They were too small for Beca to feel comfortable with the amount of cleavage. They somehow ended up in Aubrey’s dorm, trying on dresses under the judgmental gaze of Aubrey’s gloomy roommate Kimmy Jin. Aubrey was almost as excited as Chloe to get Beca into a dress.

Three hours after they began, Beca was standing in the middle of the dorm room, smiling begrudgingly in the mirror.

“It’s not  _ terrible _ ,” she admits with a smile. She was wearing Aubrey’s dress from homecoming last year: a form-fitting red dress with a casual neckline and shoulder straps. The red was much brighter than anything Beca would have predicted herself wearing, but once it’s on her, she loves it.

“It’s gorgeous!” Aubrey defends.

“It’s  _ sexy _ ,” Chloe purrs. Aubrey raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.

“I’ve got these silver strappy heels that’ll look great,” Aubrey promises, going to dig them out of her well-organized shoe caddy.

“You  _ have _ to let Stacie do your makeup. Oh, and Cynthia Rose from my economics class is on the third floor, and she’s really good with hair. I’ll text her and see if she can do yours,” Chloe bounces on her toes, rocking back and forth as she pulls out her phone. Beca just stands there smiling, admiring herself in the mirror.

 

“Why is it so cold?” Beca whines. She had bundled up in three different sweatshirts, gloves, a scarf, and even donned Chloe’s ridiculous Barden hat with a pom-pom on top of it, and she was still shivering.

“It’s dark out, and it gets colder. It’s October. We’re on the Canadian border so it always runs colder here. Need I list any more reasons?” Aubrey drolls. They were shouting across the bench, having spread apart and left their things between them to save enough seats for Chloe and her family. Chloe and Stacie had just departed a few minutes ago to find the Beales.

“I don’t like it,” Beca grumbles. They sit in silence for a few minutes. “Why aren’t your parents coming in tonight?” Beca doesn’t notice the way Aubrey stiffens.

“Just more convenient for them to come tomorrow is all,” she shrugs. Beca nods, glancing around the bleachers to see a flash of red hair. She stands, waving Chloe and her family over. Stacie separates with her mom, off to sit somewhere closer to the players so they could rate them- apparently it was a tradition with them or something. When the Beales arrived, Beca scooted down the bench closer to Aubrey.

“Mom, Dad, this is my roommate Beca. And of course, you know Aubrey,” Chloe grins, gesturing to the girls who waved. “Beca, this is my mom Amy, my dad Jack, my brother Travis, and this is Iris,” Chloe introduces. Each family member, so bundled up that all Beca could really see was their remarkably blue eyes, waved as they were introduced.

“Beca, Chloe’s been  _ gushing _ about you. She says you’re a sophomore?” Mrs. Beale begins.

“Mom,” Chloe whines, her cheeks turning red.

“Well, what would you call it,if not gushing? I feel like every time we talk, you’re telling me about her! ‘Beca said this, and it was so funny!’ Or ‘Mom, did you know Beca does musical theater?’ Or my personal favorite ‘Mom, Beca’s, like, probably the coolest person I’ve ever met,’” Mrs. Beale laughs. Chloe’s face steadily turns as red as her hair.

“You wound me, Chlo!” Aubrey teases. “I thought I was the coolest!” Beca just smirks.

“I hate you all,” Chloe murmurs petulantly, pulling her hat lower as she stares determinedly out at the field.

 

After the game, Beca and Chloe lead the Beales back to their room to show it off. Throughout the game, Beca had made awkward conversation with Chloe’s parents. With her mom, it was mostly about teasing Chloe. With her dad, it was about how she was liking Barden, and typical parent questions. But Beca really seemed to hit it off with Travis. When he found out she didn’t understand football, he spent the entire game trying to teach it to her.

“Did we do a good thing?” Beca would ask when people cheered. To which Travis would explain that we got a touchdown, and Beca would just cheer, “We did a good thing! Good job!”

“You’re such a dork,” Travis would laugh, ruffling her hair. As they walked back to the dorms, Travis put her in a headlock and she punched his side.

“So, how’ve you been, Iris? How’s ninth grade?” Chloe asks, turning away from her secret girlfriend and her brother who were currently playing a game of tag, running around people and trying to shove each other.

“Fine,” Iris grunts. Chloe frowns. She hasn’t talked to her sister in weeks, and this is the response she gets? Chloe turns to her mom with a raised eyebrow.

“She’s doing fantastically in all of her honors courses,  _ and  _ she made the JV soccer team,” her mother clarifies.

“That’s great!” Chloe beams. Iris just shrugs as they finally enter the lobby. They opt for the stairs since everybody seems to be waiting in line for the elevator. Beca and Travis get lost in the crowd, still hunting each other for their childish games.

“Travis Beale, you get over here and stop acting like a child!” Chloe screams. “I will not have you getting lost because you’re playing tag with my roommate!” A few people waiting in the halls snicker as Travis and Beca make their way over to the stairwell, heads hanging and cheeks flushed.

“So,” Mrs. Beale begins as soon as they get onto the stairwell. “You’re into musical theater? Are you in the Barden program?” Beca nods, cheeks flushing a deeper shade of pink. “What play are you doing this season?”

“Uh, we’re doing this adaptation of  _ Alice in Wonderland _ . Auditions are next week,” Beca nods swiftly, nervous at being put on the spot.

“Oh, that’ll be wonderful! The art department and your tech crew do a wonderful job with props. I can’t wait to see the stage for that! Now, for which part are you auditioning?” Beca smiles, remembering how Chloe said her mother is an English teacher and tends to speak with perfect grammar.

“Um, probably Tweedle Dee, or maybe the Cheshire Cat,” Beca muses, stepping inside. She’s glad they cleaned up the room to Alice’s standards (though it took three tries before she approved them).

“I bet you’ll perform beautifully,” Mrs. Beale grins. “Now, your room is so  _ cute _ !” She gushes, turning to look at the room, thankfully dropping the subject.

 

“Dad,” Beca whines. “I don’t want to do family bonding games.” he had showed up at her room the next morning, dressed in jeans and a sweater, trying to drag her out of her room. Chloe just giggled, still trying to get ready before her own family showed up.

“I’m a faculty member, Becs,” he explains. “I have to go anyway. I think you’ll have fun,” he sighs, attempting to nudger her ribs playfully. She just frowns and pulls away.

“What? Sack races and flag football? That’s not my idea of fun, Dad,” she grunts.

“I may have heard that Mr. Solomon, the Woodshop teacher, is running the music booth. He’s supposed to play the music for the entire school on the lawn while they play the games. He’s agreed to give you an hour to do it if you come.” He’s grabbing at the back of his neck awkwardly, but Beca is beaming, running up to hug him.

“This is blatant bribery, but it’s kind of awesome!” She laughs. “Can I play my mixes?” She pulls away and he nods, grinning like a fool. It was a gamble to try and bribe his daughter, but one that has clearly paid off for him.

“As long as they’re school appropriate- don’t forget the lower school kids will be there, too- you can play anything,” he tells her.

“This is awesome. Thanks, Dad. I’ll meet you downstairs in an hour. You can meet Chloe’s family, if you like. That’s when they’re going to meet her.” She’s turning, already on her way to grab her music and start getting ready. She misses the way her dad’s entire demeanor shifts, how he peers between her and Chloe, but still seems happy. He watches the way they move around each other, completely in sync, but shyly dancing away from each other. He only lingers for a moment, but he can see the way Beca blushes when Chloe looks at her, the way his daughter’s gaze immediately drops to her roommate’s lips.

“I’d love to meet her family,” he grins. “I’ll meet you in the lobby in an hour.” 


	13. Weekend Festivities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parent's weekend... That's gotta be fun for our girls, right?

**Chapter 13: Weekend Festivities**

  
  


“Go, Iris, go!” Chloe screams. Beca rolls her eyes, laughing. The first thing they had done when they’d gone down to the lobby was introduce their families. Beca’s dad and Chloe’s mom had hit it off well, and their dads spent the entire walk over to the field chatting about sport- Beca’s dad doesn’t pay much attention to the games, but he loves reading sports articles, and he’s really into baseball. Travis pays attention to their parents’ conversation, but focuses heavily on chatting up Beca, teasing her and challenging her in the family weekend activities.

In the end, the Beales and the Mitchells ended up on the same team- it wasn’t fair to have two against five, Mrs. Beale had pointed out. They signed up on the sheet together, and were currently competing in the potato sack relay race against some other girls from their dorm. Travis had gone first at the same time as Fat Amy for her family’s team. Beca had been laughably bad, as had the parents. Iris was second to last, and they were losing the lead Travis had secured for them.

“Trav, why is Iris so miserable?” Chloe murmurs as she rounds the bend and starts on her way back. “She’s been frowning since she got here yesterday.”

“She’s fourteen,” Travis laughs. “She’s going through this goth, emo, rebel phase. You know all about that, Beca, right?” He elbows her, eyeing her thick eyeliner and dark shirt. She glares at him, further proving his point.

“Shut up,” Beca grumbles. “Let’s go, Iris! Amy’s dad is gaining on you!” she shouts. Travis just laughs, pulls Beca close and ruffles her hair. She punches his arm as Iris kicks the sack off, handing it to Chloe.

 

“Bet you a dollar that you can’t hit the principal with that cream pie,” Travis whispers in Beca’s ear.

“If I hit him in the face, you owe me ten,” she smirks. Despite all his bold promises of persecuting the vandals, and finding the original video that was sent around, he had done nothing. Alice was still skipping around school, and people still snickered whenever Beca walked by. She’d had screen shots of the kiss printed out- scrawled with the words “dyke,” “fag,” “whore,” and “slut” among other threats- shoved under her door, into her locker, and in her backpack. Beca is sick of waiting around for him to do anything about it because clearly her rights aren’t his priority.

“Deal,” he laughs. 

She proudly stuffed that ten dollar bill in her pocket afterward, glad that Chloe had caught the entire thing on her camera.

 

“This burger tastes like a brick,” Beca whines.

“The veggie burger is even worse,” Iris mutters. “Not even sure it’s actually vegetarian.”

“Must you always complain, Rebecca?” her father mutters.

“Dad,” she hisses, always hating when he uses her full name. He rolls his eyes, and Chloe stifles a laugh.

“You might want to be nice to me, huh?” he teases. “At one, Mr. Solomon is handing over the DJ booth to you, but I could always tell him you’re not up for it.”

“Oh, come on, Mr. Mitchell,” Travis groans. “This music sucks. We need something better.”

“If she’s nice, Mr. Solomon might even be talked into letting her DJ for two hours,” he grins. Beca’s jaw dropped.

“I’ll stop complaining,” she promises.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Becs,” Chloe teases, her hand lingering on Beca’s waist. They hold each other’s gaze for a moment, Chloe wrinkling her nose and smiling as Beca sticks out her tongue. Mr. Mitchell just watched, grinning to himself. Iris narrows her eyes, watching her sister interact while Travis and her parents fuss over getting more food. She shoves the macaroni salad around on her plate, jaw set angrily.

 

“You should come out and dance with me,” Chloe offers. Despite her dad’s teasing, Mr. Solomon had happily handed over the music station to her. Once Beca took over, a small congregation of kids flocked to the open field before her to start dancing, laughing and talking. She’d had to intersperse her own mashups with requests for Taylor Swift songs, Meghan Trainor, and, to her chagrin, some One Direction. One of Beca’s slower mixes was playing now, and a few of the parents were slow dancing, as well as a few teen couples.

“I can’t leave the equipment unmanned. Plus… We… We can’t dance to a couples’ song,” she adds in a whisper. Chloe pouts, jutting out her lower lip.

“I know, I get it. I just don’t like it,” she grumbles.

“Chlo,” Beca whines.

“I know-”

“Do you?” Beca hisses. “Are you getting threats scrawled on stills of that  _ stupid _ video of us? Do you hear people whispering insults, calling you a dyke whore? Saying ‘my kind’ should be put down, like animals? Everyone  _ loves you _ , Chloe. No one believes that you’re a filthy little  _ lesbian _ ,” Beca says the word like it’s an insult. The same way others say it when they talk about her like she isn’t there- seriously, just because she’s got headphones around her  _ neck _ doesn’t mean she can’t hear them. “But I’m brand new here, and already everyone hates me.” She has to stop to choke down her tears. She’s on a stage in front of the entire school and their families. She cannot lose it right now.

“You’re getting threats?” Chloe whispers, her impossibly blue eyes filled with tears. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?” Beca wipes hastily at her eyes.

“Later,” she whispers. Chloe’s jaw sets, much like Iris’ had earlier. “I promise,” Beca adds. “I just… Not here.” She gives a pointed look towards where Travis is standing, flirting with Alice and her friends a few feet away.

“I’m holding you to that, Mitchell. After the dance tonight,” Chloe sighs, walking away and dragging Travis with her, yelling at him about ‘flirting with the enemy.’

“Ugh, the dance,” Beca moans to herself. She had forgotten all about that stupid homecoming dance tonight.

 

Beca and Chloe don’t get a chance to be alone again.

Beca spends two hours DJ-ing the field day event. Then Mr. Solomon comes back and plays the playlists Beca had made while she rejoins her dad and the Beales, playing games and competing in stupid little contests. After a while, the parents left to get ready for some fundraiser party tonight. Iris and Travis were staying in the hotel room, but Chloe requested help getting ready.

“She’s, like, a hair styling goddess,” Chloe smiles. Iris blushes, but still holds her glare. 

“I thought that girl Cynthia Rose was doing my hair?” Beca asks, turning around so Chloe can zip up her dress. Iris scoffs. “What’s your problem?”

“Be nice, Becs,” Chloe warns her. “And Cynthia Rose is already busy doing some other girls’ hair.But Iris is good. Ris, you should do something half up, half down for her,” she suggests. “I have to go help Bree with her makeup. You guys’ll be okay?” She leaves, makeup bag in tow, before either girl can answer. They sit in silence for a minute before Iris moves to sit behind Beca. 

“What do you want me to do?” Iris asks, her voice flat.

“I dunno,” Beca mumbles, cheeks turning red as the exchange becomes more awkward. “Whatever you think will look good.”

“How about I do crown braids on one side, and pin it half back, leaving the rest curled?” Iris sighs. Beca nods.

“Sounds good,” she mumbles. Iris doesn’t say anything more, just grabs a brush and starts combing Beca’s hair. Beca tries not to wince as Iris pulls harshly at the knots, getting even more harsh when she starts pulling at the hair near Beca’s left temple, weaving it together.

“Are you screwing my sister?” Iris asks. “And don’t you dare lie to me.” All of the air in the room seems to have gone missing. Beca can’t access any of it. She has no oxygen. Maybe she heard Iris wrong, right? That must be it.

“Wh-what?” she finally stutters. Iris yanks on Beca’s hair, and she whimpers. 

“There was a knot,” she grunts. “I know you heard me. Are you. Screwing. Chloe?” She repeats the question, punctuating every few words with a yank of Beca’s hair as she ties off the braids.

“N-no,” Beca whispers. “No of c-course not. She’s a- and I’m a- no,” Beca continues nervously.

“Oh please,” Iris snorts. Thankfully, she has finished stabbing the bobby pins into Beca’s skull to keep the stupid braid in. “I’ve known since we were kids that Chloe swung both ways. Since before I even really knew what it meant.”

“Y-you… Huh?” Beca stumbles.

“Chloe has a lot of love to give. When she was in sixth grade, she called home almost every day about her crush Brady. She talked about how handsome he was, and how he made her smile. Then, the next year, she talked about her new friend Stacie: ‘Stacie was funny, Stacie was smart, Stacie hated Aubrey so we couldn’t really be friends anymore and it just made me so  _ sad _ . Stacie was so pretty with her long hair, and her longer legs, and my Lord Iris, Stacie has all the boys and I’m so jealous whenever she gets a new boyfriend.’” Iris takes on a new voice when she’s mimicking Chloe. Beca’s neck is getting hot. But maybe that’s just because Iris is curling her hair, and the curling iron is hot. Right?

“You think she had a crush on Stacie?” Beca whispers.

“Oh, she totally did. Chloe falls for people. When they’re girls, she assumes she wants to  _ be _ them, but I can tell she wants to be  _ with _ them. She gets this look on her face when she’s got a new crush. And then, when she’s got a boyfriend, she’s got a different look. This afternoon, I saw her giving you the different look. So, I’m asking again even though I know the answer: are you screwing my big sister?” Iris makes eye contact in the mirror with Beca as she curls her hair.

“No. I… We kiss sometimes. But there’s no… n-no screwing. We just… We’re kind of dating,” she says quietly. “We can’t tell anyone because the school isn’t very… accepting, you know?”

“I know,” Iris nods. “Chloe told us about that thing with the video, and the principal not helping. So I won’t tell anyone. But I swear, if you hurt her, I will find you. I will come back, and you will hurt. Because Chloe has a lot of love to give, but she doesn’t know how to protect herself. She opens herself up and leaves herself vulnerable to everyone. When her first real boyfriend Andy broke up with her- two days after he fucked her- she cried for hours, every night on the phone to my mom and me. Travis kicked his ass. So now, if you hurt her, I will kick yours. Because Travis would never hit a girl, not someone who’s smaller and can’t fight back. I will. So don’t hurt her,” she hums. Beca nods. “Don’t move while I’m curling your hair.”

“Sorry,” Beca smirks. They stay silent until Chloe comes back to finish getting ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN... Looks like more and more people are figuring out just how close these two gal pals are... And now we've got the homecoming dance... IDK how many of you have been to a high school dance but there is ALWAYS drama of some sort. Add in some homophobia, a secret gay couple, and raging teenage hormones and we've got a recipe for disaster... See you next time here at Barden Preparatory Academy... ;D


	14. Almost Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School dances are a recipe for trouble...

**Chapter 14: Almost Paradise**

  
  


“Isn’t it beautiful, Becs?” Chloe whispers in Beca’s ear. The school had rented out some hotel ballroom in town and had bussed over large groups of students. It was nice enough, beca thought. There were a few tables, and a buffet table with little snacks. The lights were low, and the DJ had set up some flashing colored lights. It was like a low budget, alcohol free nightclub. Kids gathered in clusters, swaying to the music in tandem. The dresses were nice, mostly reds and blues. Some were tight, like skin suits. Others were flowy and loose. Beca didn’t pay much attention to that.

“I mean, I guess,” Beca shrugs. She smoothed down her dress nervously. She had to tell Chloe that Iris knew, right? Yeah, she should. But not here. Beca was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice what Chloe was saying until she squealed, yanking Beca along to greet someone.

And this is how the night went for a while. They would be talking, Chloe swaying her hips and moving to the music while Beca watched awkwardly, occasionally bopping her head. Chloe would go all out while singing along, and Beca would sometimes mutter the words under her breath. Then, Chloe would see someone she knew who looked  _ ‘absolutely gorgeous _ , Becs’ and they’d go to greet them, compliment them.

“I need water,” Beca explains when she starts to leave the dance floor. Chloe pouts. In reality, Beca just needed a second to compose herself. Because the DJ had played ‘Low’ and the way Chloe was wiggling her hips, dropping to the floor, and shaking her ass should be illegal. Just being in the vicinity made Beca blush, made her wish she was dating Chloe publicly so they could dance  _ together _ . Then maybe boys would stop trying to grind on Chloe, trying to touch her when Beca was  _ right there _ , watching but unable to stop it. To her credit, Chloe danced out of their grip whenever they tried, but it still made Beca jealous.

She cringed. Beca Mitchell does  _ not _ get jealous. Why should she? She doesn’t need anyone, so if they want to leave her, that’s fine. But Beca needs Chloe, and the thought of her redhead leaving her made Beca’s mouth go dry.

“Where’d your little girlfriend go?” a voice calls. Beca turns from the buffet table, glass of water in hand, to find Alice and her friends sneering at her.

“Jealous, Alice? Because you can’t seem to get  _ anyone _ \- guy or girl,” Beca smirks. Alice just laughs.

“You think I’m jealous of your little redhead slut?” Beca clenches her fists, dropping the water. “Aw, what? Did you not know your little girlfriend was a whore? Yeah, she makes the whole cheerleading squad look bad. It’s why we have to cut her from the competition team,” Alice shrugs, smirking.

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Beca snarls. 

“Oh, and she’s lost her spot on the Bellas, too,” Alice adds casually. “She sounds like a pack a day smoker, and we can’t have her ruining our chances. The whole group voted. Have fun with your skank now that she’s got nothing.” Beca snaps.

“She’s not a skank!” she growls, lunging at Alice, shoving her backwards. Alice just smirks. “And she’s not mine! And you’re a bitch!” Beca tries to shove her again, but Alice’s friends flank her, grabbing onto Beca’s arms, dragging her backwards into the bathroom. Her feet aren’t even touching the floor. Where are the chaperones? Aren’t they supposed to be watching the students? Why is noone stopping Alice and her friends from kidnapping Beca?

“Don’t touch me, don’t! Stop it!” Beca shrieks, kicking her legs, struggling to be heard over the bass line that vibrates throughout the room. Stupid cheap speakers that are ruining everyone's hearing. They just toss her into the bathroom, and the other girls leave her alone with Alice. Alice just crosses her arms over her chest.

“What are you doing?” Beca asks, eyeing Alice warily.

“Are you actually with Chloe?” Alice asks, canting her head to the side. Beca stiffens. “I’m not going to tell anyone of make fun of you. I mean, like, anymore than I already do,” she shrugs. “I’ll probably cool it a little bit if you are.” Beca tries to figure out the right way to answer this.

“Why are you so mean to her?” Beca asks, her voice small. “To us?” She adds.

“I’m not  _ that _ mean,” Alice scoffs. “I just like to give her a hard time. Chloe knows how to take a joke.”

“This isn’t a joke.  _ We _ are not a joke. The things you say really hurt her,” Beca insists. Alice shifts, but doesn’t change her expression.

“Fine. Whatever. I’ll be nicer. Maybe. But you avoided my question. Are you guys actually dating?” Beca squirms, unable to look Alice in the eye. 

“I want to leave,” she mumbles, but Alice blocks her way to the door.

“You are, aren’t you? Oh my God, you guys actually are!” She tilts her head back a minute, laughing. Beca blushes and angry tears prick at her eyes. Why is Alice laughing at her? She balls her fists, the desire to swing at Alice growing stronger with each passing moment. “Oh, I didn’t mean to laugh. Just, like, I needed to know. I’ll ease up on you guys, okay? I don’t actually have a problem with you being gay. But be careful because some people in this school do.” She starts to turn and walk away before stopping, looking at Beca over her shoulder. “Oh, and we never had this conversation.” She walks away leaving Beca stunned, standing alone in the center of the bathroom.

 

“What took you so long?” Chloe asks,wrapping an arm around Beca’s shoulders when she returns. Beca had spent another few minutes just standing in the bathroom before splashing some water on her face- careful not to ruin her makeup- before coming back out to find Chloe standing by the buffet table, looking around.

“I’ll tell you later,” Beca mumbles, pulling Chloe toward a table. “Let’s sit; I’m tired.” Her entire body was sagging. But Chloe pouted, looking back at the dance floor.

“But I love this song,” she whines. Beca rolls her eyes.

“Fine. We dance to this song, and then a break? I’ve been standing since we got here two hours ago,” Beca grumbles, allowing her to be dragged back to the dance floor.

 

“Let’s hear it for you 2016 Homecoming Court!” the DJ announces. A hearty cheer goes through the crowd now that the court has been announced. Stacie had been named Queen along with some other boy, Tom or Tim or something Beca couldn’t be bothered to remember. Aubrey was the runner-up, the Homecoming Princess along with a nice looking boy named Luke. Beca didn’t care about anyone else, but cheered for her friends as they stood smiling and waving. “Now, let’s slow it down for their first dance!” As the opening strains pulsed through the cheap speakers, the crowd formed a circle, allowing the court to do the awkward shuffling slow dance that is the trademark of all high school dances.

“I love this song,” Chloe hums, resting her head on Beca’s shoulder. Beca shrugs. It’s a pretty song, but she doesn’t recognize it. “It’s from  _ Footloose _ ,” Chloe explains as the first few couples start to join the dancing, and the homecoming pairs are allowed to break apart. “You should dance with me,” Chloe whispers in Beca’s ear as the singers croon out,  _ “whoa almost paradise. We’re knocking on Heaven’s door.” _

“But, we can’t… No one knows,” Beca whispers harshly, nervous. She remembers Alice’s creepy, cryptic warning in the bathroom. And she still hasn’t forgotten the way people stared after someone took a can of spray paint to her door, denouncing her to the entire world with vicious words.

“I slow dance with my friends all the time. No one needs to know it’s real. Please?” Sighing, Beca nods, allowing herself to be pulled to the edge of the dance floor. Beca puts her hands on Chloe’s waist while Chloe rests hers on Beca’s shoulders, intertwining her fingers behind her neck. They sway in silence, shuffling around in a slow circle while the female singer starts the next verse. Beca can feel people staring at her, whispering. But she keeps her eyes focused on Chloe as she starts to sing along quietly.

_ “Whoa, almost paradise. We’re knocking on heaven’s door. Almost paradise. How could we ask for more?” _ Chloe’s eyes snap up to meet Beca’s, lips smiling around the next lyrics.  _ “I swear that I can see forever in your eyes. Oh it’s paradise. Almost paradise.” _ They shuffle just a little closer, no space left between them anymore.  _ “And in your arms,” _ -Chloe’s grip on Beca tightens-  _ “salvation’s not so far away. It’s getting closer. Closer everyday.” _ Beca joins in, trying to remember the words.

_ “Oh almost paradise. We’re knocking on Heaven’s door, oh almost paradise. I swear that I can see forever in your eyes. Oh it’s paradise…” _ Beca harmonises with Chloe, trying not to overpower her as they trade the phrase back and forth: “ _ Paradise.” _

_ “Yeah it’s paradise.” _ As the song fades and everyone claps, Beca is jolted out of her daze. She backs up quickly, realizing she had been leaning in to kiss Chloe, a hair’s breadth away from each other. Her face was red and flushed as she retreated to the buffet table, grabbing Stacie’s arm as she goes.

“Do you think anyone noticed?” she asks nervously, her fingers shaking as she drags Stacie into a corner. Stacie raises one eyebrow, looking around. Everyone was staring at Beca, whispering. Some were glancing over at Chloe who was standing with Aubrey and a few other people, trying to look nonchalant, but most were focused on Beca, glaring daggers at her.

“You slow dancing with your hot redhead and almost making out with her? Yeah, pretty sure they noticed,” Stacie replies drily. Beca whimpers nervously, wringing her hands. How could she have been so stupid? She was the one who wasn’t ready to tell people. She begged Chloe to be patient with her, to be satisfied with kisses alone in their room, polite distances in public, secret exclusivity. And yet  _ she _ was the one who initiated the almost-kiss and basically ruined their whole arrangement.

She looked up to see the chaperones- who had been suspiciously absent when she needed them, but of course  _ now _ they’re here. Beca recognizes the librarian, and her math teacher. As well as Mr. Meisner and his secretary Ms. Slu, both of whom are approaching her with stern expressions on their faces. Even under the black lights and colored strobe effects, Beca can tell Mr. Meisner’s face is red, vein in his forehead throbbing.

_ Shit. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: the song they danced to is "Almost Paradise" from the movie Footloose. I listened to the newer version from the remake with Hunter Hayes and Victoria Justice, if you wanna listen to that and get a feel for the song.


	15. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I left you guys on a bit of a cliffhanger... Sorry about that... But this resolves that! Also, warning for some slightly almost smutty chapters? Still only rated... T probably? Yeah, let's call it T.

**Chapter 15: The Aftermath**

  
  


“I am in shock. Utter disbelief. I come to stop by the dance for  _ fifteen minutes _ during the most important fundraising gala of the year, and see you girls engaging in your… disrespectful displays of debauchery,” Mr. Meisner stammers, his face bright red in anger. He’d taken the girls back to the school and called their parents. They were now sitting in the office, waiting for the Beale and Mitchell parents to arrive.

“Sir, if you think that was bad, you should have seen the way other people were dancing earlier,” Beca snorts. Chloe shoots her a look and she quiets down.

“Sir, you should wait for our parents before you say anything else,” Chloe advises him with forced politeness. He grits his teeth and paces behind his desk for another five minutes of silence before Ms. Slu leads in the parents, all dressed up with confused and concerned faces.

“Mr. Meisner, you said our daughters were causing a problem at the dance,” Mr. Beale begins the conversation.

“Indeed they were,” he nods tersely. “Their provocative, disrespectful and lewd dancing caused a scene and disrupted the evening for many other students.”

“Excuse me?” Mrs. Beale squawks. “Chloe, what did you do?”

“We didn’t  _ do _ anything, Mom,” she says softly.

“I beg to differ. I was there,” Mr. Meisner snorts.

“Can we please tell our side?” Beca begs. Mr. Meisner nods unhappily, slowly. “We were just… dancing. Slow dancing,” she says slowly, glancing nervously at her father. He smiles encouragingly at her. “The DJ played some song from  _ Footloose _ for the homecoming court’s dance. She… We wanted to dance. So we slow danced. It was just… circles. My hands were on her waist, and hers around my neck. We were spinning around, just like everyone else. And at the end… I almost kissed her, but I didn’t.” Beca finishes in a whisper, staring at her shoes. No one speaks.

“Your vulgar displays of affection are not appropriate for school dances,” Mr. Meisner sneers, looking to the parents as if for their agreement.

“That’s it?” Mrs. Beale asks. Mr. Meisner nods his head once, sharply. “Well, that’s nothing! I have two other children, and I’ve chaperoned dances. Whoo, boy, the things I’ve seen…” Mrs. Beale fans her face comically. “The way children dance now is like they’re having sex with clothes on.” Mr. Meisner’s face grows redder.

“Mrs. Beale, we have rules against public displays of affection-”

“Oh, bullshit!” Beca interrupts.

“Beca,” her father hisses. She continues. 

“No, Dad, I’m sorry. But there were other couples- heterosexual couples- who were making out! Literally tongues down each others’ throats! But that’s okay, right? Because it’s a guy and a girl?” She stands, shoving the chair away. She’s so heated she doesn’t even immediately realize that she just basically outed them as a couple to the principal and their parents. “Your double standards are ridiculous!”

“So, you are a couple?” Meisner smiles like the cat that ate the canary. “Because I seem to remember that you told me you are not.”

“We weren’t at the time,” Chloe says quickly, one hand on Beca’s wrist to stop her from speaking. “But we… We are now.” She glances back to her parents, but they’re looking at Mr. Meisner behind his desk. 

“Your bylaws and school policies call this an accepting academy. One of tolerance where people of all kinds are welcomed. You signed in rules and policies regarding fair treatment of people of all races, genders and gender identities, sexual orientations, religions, and opinions. We don’t want to be part of an institution that perpetuates intolerance,” Mr. Beale says firmly. “Or one that mistreats my daughter.”

“Or her girlfriend,” Mrs. Beale adds. Beca lets out a small noise, sinking back into her seat.

“Or her girlfriend,” Mr. Beale repeats. “I’d hate for legal action to be taken,” he comments casually. Mr. Meisner’s face was twitching.

“That is indeed unnecessary. But, we find it improper for them to room together,” he says tersely.

“It’s a rather touchy subject, yes,” Mr. Mitchell agrees. “But your own policies state they can’t switch rooms mid-semester. It sets a bad precedent to break your rules.”

“No one will room with me,” Beca says softly. “Everyone hates me.” She doesn’t want their pity, but it’s true. Every day she’s getting new notes, threats and insults written on pictures of Beca and stuffed into her locker and bag.

“Either way, this is a matter for another time. It’s nearly midnight, and the girls should go to bed.” Mr. Mitchell steps forward, holding out his hand to the girls to help them to their feet. “Let’s go ladies.” He takes each girl on one arm, leading them out of the office without another word.

 

“Daddy,” Chloe whispers. Her parents walked her back to the dorm, a few steps ahead of Beca and her father. “I-”

“You don’t have to explain, love,” her mother says gently, enveloping her in a hug as they stand outside the dorm building. Chloe is shaking. She had never consciously worried about her parents finding out, not the way Beca had. But she was worried. Terrified they would reject her, and all that hidden fear was coming out now as she shook in their arms and cried.

“We love you,” her dad adds, holding her head as he joins the hug.

A few yards away, Beca and her dad watch.

“We could do that,” he says, shrugging. Beca wrinkles her nose. “What’s that face for?” he laughs. “No hugs for your old man? No tears as I accept you?” 

“Don’t,” Beca groans comically. She kicks at the ground for a moment before looking up at him. “You knew, didn’t you?”

“Well, I’m not an idiot,” he shrugs. They stand in silence.

“You called me a whore,” Beca finally says. She and her father had danced around the subject. In classes, she didn’t address him. Outside of class, she barely saw him, and when they did speak, neither one brought it up.

“I shouldn’t have,” he says softly.

“But you did,” Beca replies. She wants his reasoning. She wants to know  _ why _ he called her a whore. What did she do that was so wrong?

“I did,” he nods, taking a deep breath. “It was wrong, and I’m sorry. I was… startled. I watched the video and… No father wants to see his daughter like that. It made me feel like a failure because I hadn’t raised you. And you were reminding me of that. That I left, and you were raised by your mother. So I lashed out. I was angry because Meisner made me watch that video, calling you a deviant and a tramp and all sorts of other things. I told him I called you my daughter, nothing else. But I made myself a liar that afternoon when I called you a whore. It was wrong, and nothing I do can ever change that. But I am sorry.” Beca nods slowly.

“Did he really call me a deviant?” she asks softly.

“He started to,” her father shrugs. “But I interrupted him to tell him that you were my daughter.”

“Okay,” Beca murmurs, rushing forward to hug him. She can feel him sigh in relief when she does, and it makes her feel pretty good. “Night, dad,” she whispers as she pulls away. When Chloe sees her heading into the dorm, she bids her parents goodnight, promising to see them the next day, and follows her back up to the room in silence.

“D’you really believe everyone hates you?” Chloe finally asks as they’re locking their bedroom door behind them. Beca nods, her head bobbing jerkily. “Is it because of those things they write on your pictures? They slip their threats under the doors, and I’d bet in your backpack too, right? The things this person- because it’s probably just one or two cowards, not everyone in the whole world- the things they say are cruel, and mean. But they’re not real. The words mean nothing. Do you hear me?” Beca nods again, but this is not enough for Chloe. “I want to hear you say it. Use your words.”

“I understand. But it doesn’t mean they don’t hurt.” Beca stops for a moment. “I need to get out of this dress, can you unzip me?” She can feel Chloe come up behind her, hear the clicking of the zipper. As she shrugs the dress to the ground, she can feel Chloe behind her still, feel her breath on Beca’s neck for a moment before she kisses her.

“You do me?” she breathes against Beca’s neck, turning around and guiding Beca’s fingers to her own zipper. As the dress falls, Chloe turns. Both girls stand there for a moment in nothing but their underwear, just looking at each other. Chloe, the queen of ignoring personal space boundaries, takes a step forward, leaving only an inch of space between them. Her gaze flicks down to Beca’s lips. “Can I kiss you?”

“Mhmm,” Beca squeaks. And just like that, Chloe is kissing her. Their skin is pressed flush to each other, and Beca wonders if Chloe can feel the goosebumps, feel the way her entire body is on fire when Chloe touches her.

Beca is the first to open her mouth, but Chloe eagerly opens hers, bringing tongues into the mix. It’s not a battle for dominance, not the way Beca’s read about it on her tumblr. It’s more like a dance, the two working around each other, moving together. One of Beca’s hands wanders up to Chloe’s hair, tangling itself in it. Her other rests on Chloe’s shoulder, unsure of where else to put it.

But Chloe’s hands move all over. One rests on Beca’s hip, nails digging into soft flesh. The other runs up and down Beca’s sides. On her stomach. Dipping just below her navel. Then it moves up. On the back of her neck, she leaves a trail of fire. Down her chest and over her bra. Beca jumps back like she’s been burned. Chloe is surprised to find she’s crying.

“Whoa, what did I do wrong?” Chloe asks quietly, one hand going out to touch Beca’s cheek. She flinches and wraps her arms around her abdomen as if suddenly shy.

“Nothing I just… I don’t… Don’t know h- _ how _ to do that,” she says softly.

“Do what?” Beca wipes her knuckles over her eyes before returning her hands to their spots on her hips, protecting her.

“Anything. You… You move like you know wh-what you’re doing and I  _ can’t _ . I don’t know  _ h-how _ and that freaks me out, Chlo!”

“I forget you’ve never done this before,” Choe exhales. She steps closer to Beca, who thankfully doesn’t move away again. “It’s not about thinking. You’re overthinking it. Just  _ feel _ . Just  _ do _ . Can I show you?” Beca nods briskly, letting her hands fall away and stepping closer to Chloe. Chloe just smiles, shaking her head, and pushes Beca backwards until her knees hit her bed and she sits down. Chloe sits on top of her, straddling her hips confidently, grinning down at her.

“It’s a little bit like… An experiment,” Chloe explains, her voice low and raspy. Beca can barely draw a breath. Chloe’s hands ghost down Beca’s arms. “You have to pay attention to the way the person reacts to the different places you touch them. You have to see what they do. Like right now. Do you see the goosebumps on your arm, the way the hair rises? And you’re breathing heavy. So I know this is a good feeling for you.” One hand moves to Beca’s hip, and she inhales sharply. “And that sound lets me know you like this, right?” Chloe squeezes gently, her nails biting into Beca, who bites her lip and nods quickly. “Now you try,” Chloe suggests.

Beca’s hands shake as she brings them up, one to hold Chloe’s hip, the other to touch her stomach. Chloe inhales sharply, exhaling in a whimper. Beca grins shakily, letting her hand rest just above Chloe’s navel for a few moments. The other hand dips lower, grabbing Chloe’s thigh and pulling her closer. Chloe bites her lip to try and stem her grin.

“S-see?” she pants, opening her eyes to grin at Beca. “You’re a- a natural.” Beca grins and Chloe sinks down onto her lap, gently forcing Beca’s hand up higher until it meets the soft fabric of Chloe’s purple bra. Beca jumps away but Chloe grabs her hand, putting it back. “It’s okay,” she assures her.

“What do I do?” Beca asks, her voice small and weak. Chloe grins, bringing her own hand to Beca’s breast.

“You feel it. Touch it. Squeeze it. Whatever you like,” she grins impishly, squeezing Beca’s gently. Beca gasps involuntarily, letting out a sound that is dangerously close to a moan. “Feels good, yeah?” Beca closes her eyes, biting her lip to stop any more sounds before she nods. Feeling brave, she gives Chloe’s chest a squeeze. It’s soft and fleshy in her hand, but it’s nice. It’s warm and soft, and Beca loves the way Chloe closes her eyes and whimpers under her touch. It’s a powerful feeling.

It’s quite a rush when Chloe kisses her neck, biting and sucking on it. That feeling, combined with the feeling of Chloe’s nails digging into her hip and palming her breast makes her squirm on the bed. There’s a fire raging low in her gut, and she doesn’t know what to do other than keep touching Chloe. And hope Chloe keeps touching her.

They go on like this for some time before one of Chloe’s hands dips below the waistband of Beca’s underwear and Beca pulls away from her kiss. “St-stop,” she pants.

“Too fast,” Chloe nods, withdrawing her and and starting to climb off of Beca’s lap. Beca’s hand goes to wrap around her waist, pulling her back. She looks up at Chloe shyly.

“I didn’t say you had to stop completely,” she whispers. Chloe grins, taking Beca’s face in her hands and kissing her. But it’s not hot, or fast or needy. It’s slow, sweet, and gentle. Chloe pulls away after only a moment, chuckling when Beca pouts.

“It’s late. I’m tired, covered in makeup and hairspray, and stink of sweat. I want to sleep, and maybe shower. But probably in the morning,” she explains. “Go to bed, sweets.” She kisses Beca’s temple and starts to get up. “I’m gonna go wash my face and put pajamas on.” Beca jumps up, pulling on her bathrobe and following Chloe with a quick, “me too!” They smile at each other over the sinks as they wash their faces, daring to hold hands as they walk back through the halls freshly dressed in pajamas. There’s a chill in the air that announces winter is coming.

“Could you maybe… Sleep with me?” Chloe asks. Beca raises one eyebrow. “Oh not  _ that _ way. Just sleep. Please?”

“On my bunk. If you accidentally stretch and kick me out of bed, I’d rather fall one foot than six,” Beca grins teasingly. Chloe nods eagerly, climbing into the bunk and holding open the covers. Beca rolls her eyes, climbing under. She can feel her arm starting to go numb as Chloe lies on top of her, and she worries she won’t be able to sleep well so tangled up as she is in Chloe’s limbs. But it’s nice, being held like this. So she closes her eyes and lets herself drift off to sleep.


	16. Sunday Morning Sinners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp, we all know that once the cat's out of the bag, some people are going to be mad. But I try to work in some fluff, too. Let me know what you think!

**Chapter 16:Sunday Morning Sinners**

  
  


The sound of an alarm blaring woke Beca up, and she groaned as she opened her eyes.

She was still wrapped around Chloe, limbs entangled. Chloe’s mouth is open and she’s drooling slightly on the pillow. Her hair is trapped in her mouth and Beca smiles, blinking blearily. But the alarm continues and Chloe jerks awake, here bright blue eyes opening slowly.

“Morning sunshine,” Beca says lowly, her voice still thick with sleep. She clears her throat. “Sorry, that was hideous. Morning, Chlo. Why is your alarm going off so early?” Chloe grins, stretching. She lets out a little mewling sound as she does it and Beca can’t help the giggle that escapes her. “You’re gonna kick me off the bed if you keep stretching like that,” Beca whispers.

“My apologies,” Chloe whispers back, her own voice still retaining the rough edges of sleep. “Grab me my phone.”

“Why is this alarm going off,” Beca asks again.

“Church,” Chloe says simply, crawling off of the bed and lurching to her feet.

“You usually go to the afternoon service.” Beca just lounges, watching Chloe look through her closet.

“My parents want to come to church with me but they can’t go later because their flight leaves just after noon. So we have to go to the early morning service. You should come,” she explains.

“I don’t do the whole… church thing,” Beca says carefully. “I told you that.”

“I know,” Chloe nods. “But I see your dad there a lot. I’m sure he’d like to go to the family service with you. I mean, you don’t have to go. But my parents would like to see you again.”

“Even after last night?” Beca jokes drily. Chloe pouts, throwing her a pair of jeans from her own dresser.

“Especially after last night. My parents feel obligated to get to know you, and my brother wants to intimidate you,” she smiles.

“Tell him Iris already did while we were getting ready for the dance. She gave me the whole speech about what she’d do if I hurt you,” Beca sighs dramatically. She sits up, stripping off her pajama pants to don the jeans. “And, uh, she kinda mentioned you and some guy named… Andy?” Chloe nods, her lips tight.

“Yeah, last year Andy kinda fucked me over. Literally, as I expect Iris told you. God, she has no ability to keep a secret,” Chloe scoffs, turning away as she puts on a dress. Beca starts to feel underdressed in a sweater and jeans. “You should ask your dad if he wants to come.”

“Yeah, um, I just wanted you to know that I knew. Because Iris told me. I didn't ask!” Beca says quickly.  “She just, like, said it. And I thought you should know that I know…  _ that _ … about you,” she finishes lamely, sending her dad a quick text.

“Thank you for telling me,” Chloe says after a moment. “I would have told you myself at some point because I know half the school still calls me a slut behind my back.” She stops talking for a moment, bending over to pull on her gray cotton tights. They finish getting ready in a comfortable silence and Beca’s dad agreed to meet them outside the church after they had breakfast.

“I just realized something,” Beca whispers as they’re zipping up their coats. 

“And that something would be…?” Chloe teases when Beca doesn’t immediately explain.

“The entire school saw us almost kiss last night. Now they all kind of know we’re dating,” she continues as they start out the door.

“Does that mean I can hold your hand as we walk?” Chloe asks with a teasing smile. Beca just rolls her eyes. They don’t hold hands, but a few people give them strange looks as they walk by before jumping into a hurried, whispered conversation. “Oh God,” Chloe says once they’re in the elevator. 

“What?” Beca asks nervously.

“We have to tell Stacie and Aubrey. If they hear it from someone else, Bree will kill me,” Chloe hisses frantically. Beca just laughs and pulls out her phone.

“I’ll text Stacie if you text Aubrey,” Beca offers, already typing out the text. She knows that Stacie and Aubrey probably saw them last night, and they kind of already knew but the actual conversation made it more official and it was better to hear it firsthand.

“I can’t just shoot her a  _ text _ ,” Chloe scoffs, scandalized, as they cross the campus. It’s not even November yet, but there’s a distinct chill in the air. Beca is grateful the old stone buildings are well insulated since she’d barely felt the cold last night. “I’ll have to tell her after the service.”

“Is she even coming? I know she was still upset that her parents cancelled on her last minute,” Beca asks. Aubrey’s parents had sent her an e-mail on Friday night informing her that her older sister Gia had an important exam on Monday and her younger sister Amanda had a field hockey tournament they “just couldn’t miss.” Beca didn’t understand why at least one of her parents couldn’t come visit their daughter who was away all year, but Chloe claimed it was just how the Posens were. Aubrey liked having space from her strict, overbearing father and her meek, enabling mother, but she is still a kid who misses her parents. 

“Bree… prefers to ignore when her parents disappoint her. She acts like nothing’s wrong, so yeah she’ll be at the service,” Chloe sighs. As they approach the chapel, she can see families congregating outside, meeting and quickly getting inside, under the warm roof.

 

Church is awkward enough for Beca- she went once with Chloe who’d begged her to come. She hasn’t gone since her dad left, and even then they’d only gone sporadically. She doesn’t know the prayers, doesn’t know when to sit, kneel or stand. She doesn’t understand what other people are doing when they close their eyes to pray- are they actually praying? How does one pray? Is it like writing a letter to God in your head? She doesn’t know what to do so she just sits there until Chloe is done.

So church is awkward, but church sitting next to her girlfriend- who everyone now pretty much  _ knows _ is her girlfriend- and sitting with her girlfriend’s parents and her own dad is a new  _ level _ of awkward. During the sign of the peace thing where everyone shakes hands, Beca sees Iris grimace and wipe her hand on her pants as soon as she releases Beca’s sweaty, shaking hand. It’s awkward when Mrs. Beale hugs her and kisses her cheek, and when Mr. Beale shakes her hand. Travis just smirks, punching her arm as he shakes her hand. The people around her sneer and pretend not to have seen her.

As they stand in the chapel meeting room, munching on the pastries and breakfast foods they’ve laid out, Aubrey comes over. Chloe immediately grabs her arm, leaving Beca alone with their families. Her eyes widen and the parents immediately separate to “refresh their coffees” and Beca is alone with Travis and Iris.

“So you’re dating my little sister,” Travis says. Beca hisses at him, swatting his arm as she looks around,wondering if anyone heard. No one seems to be reacting, so she grabs his wrist and drags him over to a quiet corner. Iris follows, arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face. “What, don’t people know?”

“Travis, you’re an idiot,” Iris scoffs. “Didn’t you hear what Chloe said? When that video of them kissing on a dare got sent out,they were isolated and Beca was bullied. The administration was no help, so obviously they’re not gonna come out to the school. Except now they  _ have _ to,” she smirks. Beca blushes. “Heard about last night. Mom and Dad were talking about it when they came home. They thought we were asleep.”

“I thought Chloe texted you to tell you,” Travis asks. “She texted me.” Iris shrugs, but blushes faintly.

“Like, maybe it was both?” She shakes her head. “Anyway, I already gave her the sibling speech, bro. Told her if she hurts Chloe I’ll kill her.”

“Aw, Iris, you  _ do _ care,” Chloe giggles, running up to hug her sister from behind, ruffling her hair. Aubrey grins, sidling up next to Travis and bumping his hip. He puts her in a headlock and kisses her temple.

“Congrats, hobbit,” she smiles.

“Hey Bree,” Iris grins when Chloe releases her.

“God, how do they not combust when they’re in a house of God?” some woman mutters. Iris whirls around, scowling as she tries to find the speaker.

“Iris, Iris let it go. It’s fine. Don’t cause a scene,” Chloe whispers, holding her sister back. Iris mutters something before skulking back to the circle.

“Sinners in a house of worship,” an older man grunts.

“Hey!” Trevor calls. The man, who looks about 80 and is walking with a cane, stops to turn to Travis. “You got something to say?” The man squares his shoulders as Travis puffs out his chest.

“My grandson told me about these girls you’re hanging out with. A good looking man like you shouldn’t associate with such devil whores,” he spits. Chloe is now struggling to hold both of her siblings back, and Beca jumps in to help her, grabbing onto Travis. Aubrey steps out in front, looking down on the stooped, old man who sneers at her.

“Sir, my God teaches love and acceptance. I’m sorry we don’t share the same one, but I ask that you not say such vile, hateful things in a house of love,” she says sternly. He mumbles and grumbles, but the crowd has fallen silent now to watch him. He just huffs before lumbering away with some unknown freshman boy.

“This is ridiculous,” Iris argues as Chloe pulls them all outside. Thankfully, their parents had already been on their way out.

“I’’m talking to the principal. Maybe we should pull you out, Chloe honey. Send you somewhere more tolerant,” Mrs. Beale suggests as they walk their parents back to the parking lot.

“No!” Chloe shouts immediately. “I love Barden! I like the music, and the people. All my friends are here!”

“Okay, okay, relax, Chloe baby girl,” her dad says. “We won’t pull you out right now, but if you think I’ll let my daughter be bullied and intimidated you’re mistaken. If talking to the principal doesn’t help, I’ll talk to our lawyer. Or the media. Anyone! I’ll call the president if it’ll help!” Chloe sniffles,stopping to bury her head in her dad’s chest as she hugs him. Beca and her dad leave the Beales to say their goodbyes.

“I should talk to the dean of the school,” Mr. Mitchell says softly, walking with his hands behind his back as they amble back to his office. Beca looks skeptical. “Not Mr. Meisner. Dean Harden is in charge of both the upper and lower schools. His family founded this school years ago. Maybe he’s unaware of how Mr. Meisner is acting.”

“Maybe,” Beca sighs. “I’ve gotta go, Dad. Stacie is gonna help me do my algebra homework.”

“Okay,” he nods. “I’m glad you came to church with me today, even though some people said some things that should’ve been left unsaid,” he apologizes. Beca grins, giving him an awkward half hug, but she’s glad she did it because he seems to truly appreciate the effort. He’s still smiling when she turns to run back towards the library.

 

“So, you and Chloe are official,” Stacie smirks. Beca wasn’t actually doing her algebra project. Instead she just watches Stacie do her science fair research while she mixes new songs on her laptop. It would be relaxing if Stacie would stop  _ looking at her _ like that. She’s waggling her eyebrows, one side of her mouth curled up in a smirk. Beca kind of wants to slap her. “Did you seal the deal yet? Maybe last night after that dance?” She kicks Beca under the table,still smirking.

“Shut the fuck up,” Beca mumbles, readjusting her headphones around her neck. She’d pulled them off to interact with Stacie, but was now regretting it.

“Aw, come on, no details for me? I probably would have heard about it from someone else if you did,” she muses. “Dorm walls are paper thin. Unless you’re just quiet in bed?” Beca’s cheeks are burning now and she is grateful no one else is in the physics and astrophysics section of the library on a Sunday morning.

“Stacie, stop,” Beca whines. “I’m gonna leave you.” But Beca doesn’t move.

“I know some good places that security won’t find you. And  _ noone _ can hear you. Unless you’re into that sort of thing,” Stacie winks. Beca kicks her shin but Stacie just laughs. “Okay, okay I’ll stop. Just, let me know if you ever need some pointers on lady loving,” she adds, waggling her eyebrows. This time, Beca really does get up. Stacie just laughs and follows her so they can go get lunch, their work forgotten on the walk over to the cafeteria.


	17. Surprises

**Chapter 17:Surprises**

  
  


The Barden Prep rumor mill is churning, everyone talking about Beca and Chloe and their almost-kiss at the dance and Mr. Meisner yanking them out. Some people claimed that the girls had been expelled for “lesbianism”. When they showed up in classes on Monday, they said that schools couldn’t expel kids for being gay anymore, so they were getting lesser punishments. When neither girl went to detention or suspension, they said their parents had threatened to sue for discrimination if they punished the girls (not necessarily wrong). When Chloe went to cheerleading and referred to Beca as her girlfriend, everyone said they were going to have to change rooms. They were right about this one.

“We are looking for volunteers to switch rooms with you girls. We have deemed it… inappropriate for two students who are  _ in a relationship _ to share a room,” Mr. Meisner explains cautiously. The school guidance counselor and their lawyer’s secretary sat in on the meeting while he explained the plan. Beca thought snidely that the lawyer’s representative was to ensure there was no probable cause for a big lawsuit.

“So… we have to move?” Chloe asks, reaching over to hold Beca’s hand. As her knee began to bounce, Beca put one hand on it to still her.

“One of you will be shifting rooms, yes,” the guidance counselor Mr. Murray explained. “We have a few girls who have indicated they would be okay with switching. We need one of you to volunteer to move.”

“Well, who volunteered? Who would we be rooming with?” Beca asks. She likes to know all of the information before she makes a decision.

“We cannot give you that information,” Mr. Meisner says quickly.

“None of the other students get advanced information, or the opportunity to pick their roommates. It would be unfair for us to provide this to you,” the secretary Ms. Lewis explains.

“So, wait, wait, wait…” Chloe says, her brow puckering and her lower lip is sucked into her mouth. She bites down on it and Beca hates that face; it’s Chloe’s sad face. “One of us will have to… pack all their things back up in boxes and move? Start over with a new room and completely redecorate? It’s practically Thanksgiving!”

“Miss Beale, it’s still October,” the counselor points out.

“It  _ is _ October 29th,” Beca counters. Chloe just whimpers, biting her lower lip.

“See? Halloween is in two days and we have to move!” she wails. “This is a  _ travesty _ !” Her voice jumps an octave and Beca puts one hand on Chloe’s leg.

“Alright, alright, I’ll volunteer to move out. Chlo, you stay in the room, okay?” Chloe shakes her head, pouting.

“No, Becs, you shouldn’t have to-”

“It’s fine,” Beca interrupts. “It’s fine; I can move. I have less… stuff. Fewer pictures. I have, like, nothing on the wall. It’s cool; I can move. Chloe will stay, and I’ll move. When am I moving? And I’ll need to know the room number, if not the person,” she adds, not bothering to hide her withering look.

“All the information as to who and where is right here,” Mr. Meisner smiles, sliding a paper across the desk. Beca snatches it, rolling her eyes. “We’d like you to move out as soon as possible. If, by the end of the week, you are still not moved in, we will take disciplinary action against you.”

“Yes sir,” she says mockingly with a salute.

“Miss Beale, your new roommate will move in as soon as Miss Mitchell moves out,” the counselor tells her. Chloe nods, but she’s on the verge of tears as they leave.

“Who’s your roommate?” Chloe finally asks as they’re walking back through the hall, stopped at Beca’s locker. She finishes putting her homework in her backpack before opening the folded paper and smiles nervously at Chloe.

“So, like… Don’t be mad,” she prefaces. Chloe’s eyes widen.

“Why?” she whimpers.

“My roommate… It’s… I mean she-she-she’s… Aubrey.” Chloe’s jaw drops and her brow furrows.

“Aubrey as in my best friend? As in the girl I’ve been trying to room with for years?” She snorts derisively. “Why would I be mad?”

“Okay… So your words are telling me you’re… not mad. But-but um, see… your sarcasm leads me to believe otherwise.” Beca nervously wrings her hands.

“This is ridiculous!” Chloe shrieks, stomping her foot.

“Whoa, dude, take it easy,” Beca says. Chloe turns to glare at her and stomps away. Beca follows a few feet behind, letting her have some space to mumble and grumble and kick things in her path; it’s best to let Chloe get out all of her weird anger before they get back to the dorms. She thinks they’re heading back to their room, but Chloe ends up running up the stairs and Beca follows her all the way to Aubrey’s room.

“What the hell, Bree?!” Chloe shouts, walking into the room without knocking. Beca runs down the rest of the hall, panting slightly, and finds Chloe standing in the center of the room, arms out. Aubrey is stumbling as if she had just been pushed.

“Whoa, o-okay Chlo, we should- I think I- you need to calm down,” Beca stammers. Chloe ignores her, folding her arms over her chest as Aubrey rights herself, expression hardening.

“You’re rooming with Beca?” she challenges.

“What? No! I texted you to tell you that they asked for volunteers to move in with one of you and I volunteered! Kimmy Jin hates me anyway, so they upgraded her to a single. I texted to tell you so that  _ you  _ would volunteer to move in with me!” Aubrey shouts back. Beca just leans against the wall, closing the door.

“You did not!” Chloe growls.

“Did too! Check your phone,” Aubrey tells her. Chloe immediately whips her phone out of her back pocket, pressing the home button a few times. But the red battery sign flashes back at her. She looks up slowly and Beca can tell from the way her shoulders sag that she feels like an ass. She can practically see Chloe biting her lip as she looks up at Aubrey, an apology on the tip of her tongue.

“Oh, my phone’s dead,” she whispers. Aubrey raises an eyebrow and opens up her phone. She stares down at it wordlessly before shoving it at Chloe. After a moment, she can hear Chloe sigh. “I’m an ass,” she whimpers, and Beca is startled to hear her girlfriend close to tears.

“You’re not,” Aubrey says immediately. She reaches out to hug her but Chloe pulls back. Beca feels strangely like she’s intruding. “Chlo, what’s going on with you?”

“You’re a senior!” she wails. “And it’s our last chance to room together and I screwed everything up!” Beca takes a step forward to comfort her but Aubrey shakes her head, so she stays put.

“Chloe, it’s okay! Phones die. It’s fine. Why are you so upset?” Chloe just shrugs. “Use your words, Chlo,” Aubrey urges.

“I’unno,” Chloe mumbles. “I just… feel like I keep ruining everything. If it wasn’t for me suggesting we dance, Beca and I would still be a secret, and we could room together. If it wasn’t for me and my stupid, stupid, obvious crush on her, Alice wouldn’t have thrown me into the closet with Beca. And she wouldn’t have sent out that video, and she wouldn’t have outed Beca and people wouldn’t be shoving threats under Beca’s door and Beca’s dad wouldn’t have said those terrible things. I just-”

“Whoa, Chlo, I need to stop you,” Beca interrupts. She can see Chloe’s chest heaving as she tries to keep her breathing in check. “I’m  _ glad _ Alice put us in that closet. I’m glad she barged in, and I’m glad she sent that video to Aubrey. Because otherwise, Aubrey wouldn’t have come to check on us, and she wouldn’t have told me it was okay. I wouldn’t have known my feelings for you were normal, or good. I wouldn’t have kissed you again, probably. And as for the dance outing us… It’s fine. Because now I can walk down the hall and hold your hand, and kiss you and not worry who sees. I can… I… Okay so I’m not happy we have to switch rooms, but at least it’s someone we know!” Beca rambles, and Chloe smiles, tears filling in her eyes. “Whoa, dude, don’t cry. I don’t… Don’t cry.”

“You idiot,” Aubrey grumbles, but she’s clearly trying to stifle her smile. “Hug her!” Beca lunges forward, enveloping Chloe in her arms.

“Chloe, yeah some of it sucks,” Beca whispers in Chloe’s ear. “I could do without… the stupid notes and my dad freaking… But-but-but, he and I are better now! He’s happy that I’m happy, and the notes aren’t coming often anymore… I think Aubrey scared everyone away.” Chloe chuckles. “It’s been a… God this is so corny but-but, like… It’s been a bumpy road. And I-I-I’m happy for it, y’know? ‘Cause I… Chlo, I love you, and I love where we are and-” Chloe pulls away quickly. Beca panics, cheeks reddening when she notices Chloe’s cheeks wet with tears.

“You do?” she squeaks. It’s then that Beca notices the smile on her face, stretching her cheeks out. Beca nods dumbly and Chloe squeezes her so tight it’s hard to breathe. “I love you, too,” she murmurs, and Beca can feel her breath on the outer shell of her ear as Chloe speaks. “I love you.”

“As much as I love all the love,” Aubrey drawls after a moment of silence, “I do have to finish these college application essays. If I’m number one for now, then my essays have to match it so the schools accept me.”

“Class rank came out?” Beca asks, unable to keep the stupid grin off her face. It keeps running over and over in her mind.  _ Chloe loves me. Chloe loves me. Chloe Beale loves  _ me _.  _

“Last week, Beca. Keep up. I’m sure Stacie mentioned it,” Aubrey says, rolling her eyes. Beca shrugs, a little embarrassed.; did her friend come to her complaining about being second in the class, and she was too wrapped up in her own drama to notice? “Anyway, Kimmy Jin is already basically out. As soon as they offered her a single, she rolled up her bed stuff and threw her clothes into a bin. Her friends came over and she was gone probably before they even called you guys into the office.” Looking around, Beca finally notices that the bed near the window (since apparently the older girls decided not to bother lofting the beds) is completely bare and half of the furniture is devoid of anything, desk drawers and bureau drawers open and empty, closet door swinging.

“Uh, okay… I’ll work on getting my stuff together. Do you know who’s moving in with Chloe?” Beca asks, looping an arm around Chloe’s waist.

“Um, no. I saw Stacie there, and that freshman Emily? Maybe they were volunteering to switch, too?”

“Emily Junk?” Chloe smirks. Aubrey laughs and Chloe chuckles. “I’ll explain later,” she murmurs in reply to Beca’s raised eyebrow.

“So, I guess we’re going,” Beca shrugs. Chloe pulls away, toeing the ground shyly as she stands in front of Aubrey.

“Bree,” her girlfriend says softly. “I’m sorry I shoved you.” Aubrey just rolls her eyes.

“I know you are,” she sighs, pulling Chloe in for a quick hug. 

“Can I borrow your phone to text my mom?” Chloe asks. Aubrey nods. “And while I’m here-”

“You need a few tampons until you know your mom’s care package comes in to replenish your stock,” Aubrey finishes, nodding briskly. Beca tilts her head. “When Chloe’s supply of tampons and pads runs low, she texts her mom. Her mom sends her a care package with more. Sometimes she runs out before the package gets here, so I let her use some of mine,” Aubrey explains, rummaging through a set of plastic drawers before tossing a box at Chloe who tosses the phone back to Aubrey. Chloe grabs a handful and shoves them into her back pocket, tugging on a red-faced Beca’s arm.

“Later, babe,” Chloe chirps as they leave.

“S-so you’re, um, you’re on your-your-your period?” Beca mumbles nervously as they make their way back to their room. Chloe hums her agreement, chuckling a little. Beca  _ would _ be mortified by the very mention of menstruation, despite having experienced it for at least a few years herself. “So we-we, um… We can’t… like… make out or anything,” she says after a beat. Chloe raises an eyebrow in challenge, pulling out her key and unlocking the door. She pushes Beca inside and slams the door by using Beca’s body, shoving her against it. Beca squeaks in surprise. Chloe’s hands land on either side of Beca’s head and she leans in close. Beca can smell the peppermint gum on her breath.

“Oh, I  _ never _ said that,” she purrs. Beca shivers. “All that means is that you… might get a little dirty,” she chuckles, tracing one finger from Beca’s belly button to her neck, ghosting her fingers between Beca’s breasts. She takes one of Beca’s hands and guides it to her own uniform skirt, Beca’s fingers landing clumsily on the button. “Do you mind if we get a little…  _ dirty?” _ Beca lets out a whimper, unable to speak as she shakes her head. As Chloe leans in to kiss her, Beca sees the positively  _ predatory _ look in her girlfriend’s eyes.

What the hell did she get herself into?


	18. Finding the Limit

**Chapter 18: Finding the Limit**

  
  


“Beca?” Chloe breathes. She stopped her approach just before she kissed Beca. She was so close that Beca could feel the breath on her face, feel Chloe’s lips move as she spoke.

“Uh- ugh, um, hmm?” Beca grunts, unable to form a coherent sentence. She closes her eyes, unable to keep looking at Chloe this close. She can feel Chloe’s smirk grow and her cheeks redden.

“Look at me,” Chloe commands. Immediately, Beca’s eyes open and she sees Chloe standing on her tiptoes just to get an edge over Beca. Her red curls are hanging like a curtain, separating the two girls from everything else in the world. Up close, Beca is tempted to count the freckles on Chloe’s nose. “Do you want me to kiss you?” Beca nods, embarrassingly eager. “Use your words.” Beca would laugh, roll her eyes and make some snide joke about Chloe being on a power trip right now if she wasn’t so impossibly distracted by Chloe’s lips- so close and yet not nearly close enough- and the smell of something unmistakably  _ Chloe _ surrounding them.

“Yes, please,” Beca replies hoarsely. And just like that, Chloe crashes onto her. Only their lips are touching, exploring each other hungrily. But Beca needed  _ more. _ Her hips cant outward, itching to touch Chloe. Her back arches, searching for more of Chloe’s touch. Chloe just laughs against Beca’s lips, dancing away. “No,” Beca whines. Chloe laughs, and it sounds like music. She smirks at Beca.

“I don’t know if you can handle this, Beca,” Chloe sighs, leaning against the bed rail. Beca wants to stomp her foot but manages to resist her temptation.

“I can handle anything you can throw at me,” Beca replies boldly. She steps forward, but Chloe beats her to it, coming back and grabbing Beca’s wrists. She pulls her, lays her down on the bottom bunk and straddles her, pinning her to the bed with her thighs.

“You sure about that?” Chloe asks, quirking one eyebrow. Beca gulps, having momentarily forgotten how to breathe, but she swallows and nods confidently.

“Positive,” Beca whispers. Chloe had released her wrists when she threw her down on the bed. Now, Beca grabs at Chloe’s own hands and, in an impressive feat of strength and agility, twists so violently that she is now on top. She whacks her head on the bed frame as she settles herself on Chloe’s lap and Chloe giggles. Beca winces, climbing off as she grabs at the back of her head.

“Aw, did you hit your head trying to be dominant?” Chloe laughs teasingly. Beca pouts, and Chloe stands, coming behind Beca to wrap her arms behind her. She gently kisses the raised bump on Beca’s head while one hand reaches around, playing with the top button on Beca’s shirt. “Let me kiss it better,” she purrs.

“You make this sound like a cheap porno,” Beca snorts, gasping as the button comes undone and Chloe’s fingers hit the flesh on her collarbone.

“Mmmm… It could be,” Chloe teases as she works at the next button. Her other hand rests on Beca’s hip, squeezing it.

“Fuck, Chlo,” Beca pants. She’s about ready to tear her own shirt off if it gets Chloe’s hands on her skin any faster. “Could you move it along any faster?”

“Mmm… Nope,” Chloe giggles. The next button pops open. Her fingers dance along the space between Beca’s breasts before quickly moving away. Beca lets out a high pitched whine. “I’ll go faster…  _ if _ you help me.” Beca nods eagerly, her eyes closing as she moves to take off her skirt. Her hands shake as she undoes the buttons and the plaid fabric falls to the floor. She blushes when she hears Chloe laugh; she had worn Spongebob briefs today and her cheeks burned. “You’re cute,” Chloe laughs, kissing the side of Beca’s neck. As a reward she makes quick work of the remaining buttons on Beca’s shirt. Beca whirls around, half-naked now.

“You have far too many clothes on,”she declares before pressing her mouth to Chloe’s. One hand snakes down her torso to undo the buttons on Chloe’s skirt. Once that is dealt with, she works at the buttons on her blouse. When they finally need to part for air, Chloe stands just as naked as Beca, but she wears a black lacy bra and matching underwear.

“Were you hoping for this or…?” Beca trails off, smirking.

“Always,” Chloe replies cheerfully. Beca would roll her eyes but Chloe grabs her by the waist and pushes her up against the closet door. Her lips are on Beca’s pulse point and she is reduced to a shaking pile of jello, held up solely by Chloe’s hands on her: one on her waist, the other on her chest. One of Beca’s legs snakes around Chloe’s waist, pulling them closer. She regains the presence of mind to put her hands to good use. One goes to deal with Chloe’s chest, the other on her ass. Chloe moans into Beca’s touch.

Beca kneads Chloe’s flesh in her hand, not quite sure what else to do. Her hand feels awkward on Chloe’s ass so she moves it up to her waist, her thumb tracing patterns on Chloe’s stomach. Chloe whines, making Beca laugh.

“Off,” Chloe begs, arching her back to push her chest forward. Beca tilts her head. “M-my bra. Off. Please,” Chloe explains. Beca smirks.

“Mmm… Nope,” Beca teases and goes to kiss Chloe again. She can feel Chloe writhing and understands why Chloe had taken such pleasure in teasing her earlier. It’s  _ fun _ . It’s a heady rush, having someone melt in your hand, have them begging for your touch. It’s like you control the very air they breathe, their life force- take it away and they die. Beca pushes Chloe, takes a step forward and turns them so now Chloe is pinned to the wall. She slips her tongue out, brushes Chloe’s lips then pulls away, kissing a trail down Chloe’s neck. When Chloe reaches out, she runs her hands down around Beca’s back until they hit the waistband of her underwear. Beca gasps as Chloe’s fingers slip below it, moving lower until her palms are on Beca’s ass.

“You sure?” Chloe pants. Beca nods, kissing her way across Chloe’s collarbone, intending to make her way back up the other side of her girlfriend’s neck. But then Chloe starts kneading her flesh and Beca’s kiss turns into a gasp. She stops where she is, moves to lick the column of Chloe’s neck. “Oh my God,” Chloe whimpers. “Please take it off. Please, please, please.” The pressure in Beca’s lower region builds, and she relents, fumbling with the clasps on Chloe’s bra. If only because she wants to feel Chloe. All of her. She is just now opening her eyes to see Chloe, smiling at her girlfriend when there’s a knock at the door. They ignore it for a moment, freezing as they take in each other. 

Their hair is mussed, clearly from making out. Their clothes are strewn about the room. Both girls have their shirts open, and Chloe’s breasts hang freely; Beca hasn’t even gotten to appreciate them properly. Chloe’s hands are still on Beca’s ass inside her underwear. But the banging continued.

“Beale, I’ve had noise complaints about you two; I should’ve gone to security, so you guys are lucky I’m in a good mood. And you’re late for a mandatory Bellas meeting. It’s about you!” Beca reddens when she hears Alice’s voice. “And Mitchell, you need to stay in your new room tonight. I’m not dealing with this.”

“Fuck,” Chloe whines as Beca pulls away and wraps her bathrobe around herself. “Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ ,” she whimpers quietly, wriggling around. “Oh, I could kill her. Such a little cockblock,” she mumbles to herself.

“I hear you, Beale! You have two minutes to get dressed and get out here,” Alice continues. “And Beca, take a cold shower and get up to your new room.” Beca whines plaintively, but grabs a pair of pajamas and a fresh uniform for tomorrow. She doesn’t look at Chloe as she runs from the room, down the hall and into the bathroom. The entire way, her classmates whistle and laugh. When she gets to the bathroom, she slams the door behind her and locks it.

“Fuck,” she gasps, wrapping her arms around her middle and bending over. The water is like ice when she steps into it, but it feels good. It cools the burning Chloe left in her veins. Beca stays under its spray until she is numb.

 

“What is this about?” Chloe asks when she gets to the Bellas practice room. Only three of the Bellas sit in the chairs: Alice, Aubrey, and Lucy. Alice and Lucy are the captains, and Aubrey is the secretary of the group. She looks around, but finds no chair for herself. She stands facing the three girls in chairs, feeling very much like a criminal on trial.

“A mandatory Bellas meeting,” Aubrey replies quietly.

“You already told me that,” Chloe replies, clearing her throat.

“What’s wrong, Beale? Frog in your throat?” Lucy smirks. Chloe’s cheeks redden as she shakes her head.

“Nah, just a tickle. But what’s this meeting about? Where’s everyone else?” She resists the urge to cough again, though her throat aches.

“Sing us your scales.Your entire vocal range, chromatically,” Alice orders. Chloe hesitates. “Start at middle G, then go up two octaves to F. Let’s go, Beale, this should be easy for you.” Chloe bites her lip before singing out her G.

“Chlo, that’s a middle C. You need to start at a G,” Aubrey says gently. 

“It hurts,” Chloe whispers. She closes her eyes.

“Hold that middle C for as long as you can,” Lucy snaps. Chloe takes a deep breath and winces as she sings the note. Lucy kicks her shins. “You’re sharp.” Chloe adjusts, and within seconds her eyes are watering and she drops the note.

“How long have you had the hoarseness? The scratchy voice? That… pain that goes from one ear to the other?” Alice asks, her voice gentler than Chloe expected.

“Since last year,” Chloe admits, her tears starting to fall. “I thought I could hide it, but it’s gotten really bad.”

“Describe the pain, Chlo,” Aubrey suggests.

“It’s a… a  _ shooting _ pain all across my throat and neck. There’s… There’s this feeling like I have a lump in my throat. I don’t… It hurts,” Chloe sighs.

“You can’t be in the Bellas,” Alice says after a pause. “We have competitions coming up, and you can’t hold a pitch. You’re exhausted all the time, and it makes you sloppy in the choreography. You’re a liability. We can’t force you to leave, but we need you to step down. It’s your duty as a Bella.”

“But… being a Bella means everything to me,” Chloe whispers. Aubrey grabs a water bottle and tosses it to Chloe who gulps it needily. It does little to soothe the ache.

“If you love the Bellas, you’ll step down so that we can be the best. And you’ll take care of your voice before you do permanent damage,” Alice explains.

“I have the number for a local ear, nose and throat doctor,” Lucy volunteers. “And you have to go to the school nurse and have her evaluate you, and talk to your parents to get the school to take you.”

“But… what if it’s nodes?” Chloe whispers. Aubrey stands, puts an arm around her best friend. Chloe collapses into Aubrey, letting the tears fall faster now.

“It’ll be fine,” Aubrey assures her. “Don’t cry now, it’ll hurt your throat.”

“I step down,” Chloe whispers roughly. She coughs and Aubrey nods. “I-is that all?” Alice nods briskly.

“We have practice starting in ten minutes. You should go rest your voice,” Aubrey urges gently. Chloe nods, wiping her tears. “In my room, hidden in my fridge in the icebox, there’s a pint of ice cream. Take it. You should have soft, cold foods.” Chloe nods, walking quickly away. As soon as the practice room door clangs shut behind her she starts to sprint. The tears cloud her vision as she runs but this school has been her home for nearly seven years now. She could find her way around blindfolded and hopping on one foot. She makes her way up to Aubrey’s room, avoiding the questioning gaze of the other girls on the floor. Aubrey always leaves her spare key on top of the door ledge. Chloe has to stretch to reach it, but finds the spot empty.

“Damnit,” Chloe whispers, slamming her fist against the door. She’s just leaning up against it when the door opens and she falls into Beca.

“Whoa, whoa, what’s wrong?” Beca whispers, ushering her inside. Her hair is still wet, and her clothes are damp. Chloe had almost forgotten that Alice had banished Beca here. She wondered how Beca knew where the spare key was.

“I-I-I’m sick. I don’t- my throat hurts… so-so ba-ad,” Chloe whimpers. Beca wraps her arms around Chloe and pulls her into the room, sitting her on the empty bed where she had hastily thrown her blankets down. 

“What happened?” Beca asks, confused. Chloe had been fine just half an hour ago. Now she was hysterical, clutching and clawing at her throat like she was choking. She winced every time she swallowed and hiccupped.

“I quit the Bellas,” she explains, taking slow deep breaths to keep from sobbing; the sobs hurt her throat more than anything else. “And my throat hurts. It’s hurt for nearly a year now.”

“A year?” Beca hisses. Chloe moans.

“Not now, Becs,” she whines. “Just get me the ice cream hidden in the icebox.” Beca rolls her eyes but goes to grab it. “Spoons are on- yep, right there.” Beca smirks as she hands her the ice cream.

“You know it’s supposed to drop below freezing tonight?” Beca teases. Even as she says it, she wraps her girlfriend in her comforter before nestling next to her, pulling Chloe into her chest.

“It’s North Dakota in the fall. Surprised it didn’t drop below freezing before now,” Chloe retorts as she opens the ice cream. She offers Beca the first spoonful and Beca smirks softly, moving to grab the spoon. Chloe pulls it back teasingly and Beca rolls her eyes before opening her mouth, allowing Chloe to feed her.

“Shut up and rest your voice so you can explain this to me in the morning,” Beca mumbles. She wraps her arms around Chloe, pulling her girlfriend to rest her head on her chest. She starts to shiver as the temperature drops because Chloe has the blanket wrapped around her. When Chloe sees her shivering, she opens the blanket and Beca snuggles under it with her. They lay there like that, cuddled around each other under the blanket, until the ice cream is gone and they’ve both drifted into an easy sleep. Aubrey almost hates to wake them.

“You have to get back to your room so they don’t find you here,” she explains as Chloe whines. Beca barely even stirs except to reach for Chloe as she stands. Chloe smiles sleepily as Beca wraps her arms around a stray pillow.

“Night babe. Love you,” Chloe whispers as she presses a sleepy kiss to her girlfriend’s head and slips down the hallway, just barely making it back to her room before curfew. It feels empty now without Beca snoring softly on the bunk beneath her. It takes her a long time to fall back into a restless sleep.


	19. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the nodes... The make-or-break of Chloe's singing career and she kept the secret from Beca, from everyone. What to do... What to do...

**Chapter 19: Confessions**

  
  


Chloe overslept the next morning and subsequently didn’t get a chance to talk to Beca before classes. After classes, Beca had rehearsals for the musical so Chloe volunteered to start moving some of her basic stuff over to Aubrey’s room. By the time Beca got back, Chloe was gearing up for a workout. She’d stepped down from cheerleading that afternoon and was trying to train to join another team to fulfill her requirement. Preferably one that didn’t require her voice. And so it continued for the next two days. Beca and Chloe kept missing the chances to talk to each other alone.

After two days, Beca was all moved into Aubrey’s room. Chloe was awaiting news on who her new roommate would be, and stalling on going to see the school nurse. She also had yet to contact her parents about her pain. Finally, on Friday evening, Beca and Chloe were sitting alone in the common room on Beca’s new floor. They were curled up in the arm chairs right next to the window overlooking campus. Chloe had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and was clutching a mug of tea.

“So… Your throat still bothering you?” Beca asks after a moment. Chloe nods. “And you… I’m sorry, does it hurt to talk?” Chloe bites her lip.

“Yeah,” she admits, clearing her throat.

“You know, when I was growing up I got strep a lot. I… Sometimes, when my mom was having a good day, she’d make me chicken soup and honey tea. And she’d tell me to whisper because it doesn’t use your vocal cords the same way, or something?” Beca explains.

“I’ll try it,” Chloe whispers. She still winces, but continues speaking. “My throat started hurting around December last year, but we were almost at regionals. So I lived on cough syrup, basically. And I hoped it would go away but it got worse. We made it to nationals and I couldn’t give up on singing, so I kept hiding it.” She stops, clears her throat and takes a long sip of her tea. Beca fidgets on the chair, glancing out the window. The sky is dark and most of the students are hanging out downstairs where the school is having a belated Halloween party complete with pizza and games. Beca thought it was lame, and Chloe was too tired to go.

“But it got worse?” Beca asks. Chloe nods. One hand goes to her throat and she massages it gently, staring out the window.

“Sometimes it hurts when I breathe. It’s this constant, throbbing, searing pain. So, over the summer I took to the internet. I had been using herbal remedies and cough drops to try and make the pain better, but I wanted to find a cause. Most sites said it was nodes,” she whispers. Beca nods, though she doesn’t quite understand what nodes are. “Basically, nodes are a death sentence for singers. Vocal rest can make them better, but I couldn’t do that. I had to keep practicing so we could win nationals. And surgery… Surgery could destroy my vocal range forever. I’d be worse off than I am now. So I just kept up with treating the symptoms.”

“Okay, okay, rest your voice,” Beca says quickly. Chloe nods, wincing heavily. “Have you… Gone to see the nurse?” Chloe shakes her head. “What about your parents?” Chloe bites her lip and shakes her head again. She puts one hand on her throat, massaging it gently and closing her eyes. “Relax, babe,” Beca whispers. She stands up and moves to sit on the bench next to the window. She makes herself comfortable, leaning against the pillows and wall before patting the space next to her. “Come here, Chlo,” she invites. Chloe smiles, leaving her mug on the arm chair before scooting in to sit with Beca.

It’s a tighter fit than Beca predicted and Chloe ends up mostly on top of her, head nestled against Beca’s chest. The blanket is wrapped haphazardly around them and Beca has one hand on her girlfriend’s waist, holding her in place. The other hand brushes through her hair, traces lazy patterns on her arm, and brushes her thumb over her lips. 

“I wish you had told me that your throat was bothering you,” Beca sighs. Choe wriggles around, looking at Beca with big, wide eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“I know, Chloe,” Beca replies. “You’re just… You were scared. I get it, but I wish I had been able to help you.” Chloe whimpers sadly and Beca tightens her grip on her. Her free hand goes to brushing her hair back. “Does it still hurt?” Chloe nods. “Okay, close your eyes. It’ll all be fine. You can see the nurse tomorrow. I’ll even go with you.” Chloe hums happily and closes her eyes. Beca hums songs, softly stroking her hair until she, too, falls asleep.

 

Beca is woken by the whispers.

“Should we wake them?” 

“Are they even allowed to be doing that?”

“Oh my God, it’s snowing!”

“Shut up, you’ll wake them.”

“They’re kind of cute.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” There’s a small, non-committal sound. 

“If you wake her, you’ll be sorry,” Aubrey says drily. “Chloe can be a bear if you wake her from a nap.” Beca smirks, opens her eyes silently.

“But it’s almost curfew!” one of the first voices whispers. She’s a young girl with big, brown eyes and light hair.

“I’ll deal with Chloe. You two, get out.” The girls scramble to leave and Aubrey tilts her head down at Beca. “She tell you everything?” Beca nods mutely. “It’s fifteen minutes before weekend curfew. Wake her up now so she can see the snow. She loves snow.” Without another word, Aubrey turns and leaves to let Beca slowly shake Chloe awake. Her eyes light up when Beca tells her about the snow.

 

Chloe had been grateful to be woken up so she could appreciate the snow. It was something she’d loved the most about going to school in North Dakota: the snow. As soon as she had woken up, she opened the window as far as it would go (albeit, not much) and stuck her hand out. Beca had asked what she was doing and Chloe rolled her eyes replying, “catching snowflakes, duh Becs.” They’d spent their last few minutes before curfew watching the snowfall until the school security officers came to send them to bed. They only allowed the girls a quick peck on the cheek before escorting them back to their own rooms.

“Got caught catching snowflakes?” Aubrey laughs when Beca slams the door on the officer. She turns around, nodding darkly. “Yeah, Chloe loves snow.” Beca nods again, sitting on her bed. Catching her lower lip between her teeth, she considers what she overheard the girls saying before Aubrey came in.

“Why don’t people give you or Stacie a hard time?” she asks, her voice small. Aubrey sighs, turning to face Beca and sit cross legged.

“Everyone assumes Stacie is just a slut using a fancy label. They give her a hard time by slut shaming her. They gave me a hard time, too, at least at first. They called me an abomination, and a whore. Boys told me they’d make me straight then tried to grab at me- Chloe might have told you I punched one of them. Some girls complained to the gym teacher that I was staring at them and trying to take pictures in the locker room and I nearly got suspended,” she says flatly.

“Whoa,” Beca gasps.

“Yeah, it was rough. They called my parents in, and my dad brought a lawyer. It was revealed that I was being treated unfairly and discriminated against. There was plenty of documentation of me being bullied and teachers letting it happen- mostly the school’s own security cameras, but also some kids recorded the bullying. My dad threatened to sue the school and there was a big scandal. Even though this is a privately owned and operated school- meaning they have every legal right to say gay kids can’t come here- they couldn’t afford the scandal and blow to their reputation in this day and age. So, they actually ended up firing three teachers. After that, there was a big push for acceptance and they rewrote the school’s charter to be more open.” She pauses, letting Beca absorb all of the information. She also takes the moment to collect herself. Freshman year had been a dark time for her: coming out, dealing with all the hatred, fighting depression. She’d been considering switching schools, running away, even suicide before her dad had intervened.

“But… they stopped? People stopped bothering you?” Beca asks after a moment. “How long did it take?” She knew exactly why Beca was asking; Aubrey had been walking around the room, emptying her trash earlier when she found a few of the things Beca had thrown out. The only noteworthy thing was a crumpled up picture. When she opened it, Aubrey discovered it was a blurry still from the snapchat video of Chloe and Beca kissing. Someone had printed out the picture and scribbled on it in marker: ‘ _ Dyke-whore. Leave our school.’ _ Aubrey didn’t understand how kids could still be so cruel.

“They did after a while. There were more interesting things for them to gossip about and I became old news. Plus, I never actually had a girlfriend. So me being a lesbian was really just an abstract thing for them. You and Chloe are so… physical and real that they can’t ignore it. But, it will get better. Fewer people have been saying nasty things. A few more kids came out. This school is changing, Beca,” she assures her, standing and crossing the room. She sits on the bed next to Beca and holds her hand. “It’s changing and it sounds stupid and wrong right now. But it will get better.” Gulping, Beca nods. 

“Okay,” Beca sighs. Aubrey smiles gently before going back to her head. Squirming, Beca clears her throat. “O-one more question?”

“Just one?” Aubrey asks wryly. “Shoot,” she adds.

“Me and Chloe are… Well, see she’s… and I don’t… I haven’t… Um,” Beca stutters nervously.

Barking out a laugh, Aubrey asks, “are you asking for sex advice? For how to romance my best friend?” Beca’s face turns impossibly red.

“If you could not  _ shout _ , that’d be great,” Beca hisses.

“Sorry,” Aubrey chuckles. “But really, are you trying to ask about, like, lesbian sex or something?”

“No!” Beca shrieks. Aubrey shushes her, smirking. “It’s… She’s got experience and I’ve never kissed anyone before her and I’m just… Is it normal to be, like… really, really scared? And also really, really turned on, a-and ready?” Aubrey’s expression softens considerably.

“Whatever you’re feeling is fine. Chloe will understand your… apprehensiveness. It’s normal to be nervous about doing something for the first time. Especially something like this. Chloe will absolutely wait until you are ready.” Aubrey smirks. “And when you are ready, she’ll be so happy.”

“But I don’t- don’t know what to  _ do _ !” Beca moans.

“Okay, I can’t help you with that,” Aubrey chuckles. Beca glares. “But, she’s never been with a girl before either. So it’s a learning experience for both of you, right? There’ll probably be a learning curve, but it’ll be fine.”

Biting her nail, Beca asks, “you sure?” Aubrey groans and throws a pillow at her.

“Yes! I’m sure you’ll have great sex with my best friend. Are we done talking about this? It’s past midnight and I’d like to sleep.” Beca blushes, nodding quickly. “Alright. You’ll be fine. If you’re still worried, talk to Stacie, okay? Or, like, watch porn or something.”

“Um, yeah, okay,” Beca squeaks. She stands up, turning off the light and rushing back to her bed. “Night, bye.” Aubrey chuckles to herself. It’s really kind of fun getting under the younger girl’s skin like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey would be the ultimate fairy god lesbian, answering all questions and giving helpful advice and you cannot tell me differently


	20. The Science of Singing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe finally sees someone about her nodes! Also, I did a little research about diagnosing nodes and what they are, but I've never had them and you know that the internet isn't necessarily the best resource! So, if there are any errors, this may be why! Enjoy!

**Chapter 20: The Science of Singing**

  
  


On Saturday morning, Beca and Chloe were at the infirmary the moment the nurse opened- f course she was open on weekends, since this is a boarding school and sometimes kids get sick on weekends. And she has a number for emergencies in case she’s not in her office, but Chloe insisted it wasn’t an emergency.

“Chloe Beale, it’s been forever since I’ve seen you,” the portly older woman smiles as they enter. “Though, given my occupation, I suppose that’s a good thing. Who’s your friend?”

“Hi, Mrs. Dunbar. This is Beca Mitchell, a first year sophomore,” Chloe rasps.

“Oh, honey, how long have you had this sore throat?” she says, her voice dripping with concern. She ushers Chloe out of her waiting room and into a back examination room. Beca hovers nervously in the doorway, torn between sitting outside near the kid’s toys or going in and sitting in the chair next to the nurse’s exam table so she can hold Chloe’s hand. Her choice is made for her when Chloe hops up on the table, the paper crinkling beneath her, and she holds out her hand, waving Beca in. Smiling, she goes to stand next to Chloe and hold her hand as the nurse takes out her thermometer.

“Since December,” Chloe replies. She takes another sip of her water.

“Whisper, dear. It gives your vocal cords a bit of a rest. Why would you wait so long to come to me? I could have helped you!” As she speaks she takes Chloe’s temperature. The little machine beeps and she tosses the plastic cover away. “No temperature. Was this about the Bellas?” Chloe nods. “Chloe, you should have taken care of your voice instead of waiting this long,” she chides. She puts her stethoscope under Chloe’s shirt and instructs her to breathe deeply. “Lungs sound fine. Open your mouth and say ‘ah’.” Chloe abides and Mrs. Dunbar shines a light down her throat.

“She said, um… She told me it was, like, a constant pain. From ear to ear, and sometimes she feels like there’s a lump in her throat,” Beca provides as the nurse inspects her girlfriend.

Sighing, she puts down the light and puts her hands on Chloe’s neck, asking, “is there any tenderness when I touch it?” Chloe winces, flinching back. “Okay. Nothing’s swollen. I can’t… You don’t smoke, right?” Chloe shakes her head vehemently. “Just had to check. Well, there’s nothing I can see. I can recommend you to a specialist, an ear, nose and throat doctor. But, we should definitely call your parents before I do that.” Chloe whines as Mrs. Dunbar turns and taps on her tablet, likely pulling up the Beales’ information. “They still in Florida?”

“Yeah,” Chloe whispers. 

“Mom’s number still the same?”

“Mhmm.” While Mrs. Dunbar is turned around and waiting for Mrs. Beale to pick up, Beca clambers onto the table and wraps her arm around Chloe’s waist.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Beca whispers quietly, wiping away a straight tear. “I’ll stay with you for as long as you need me. I’ll even go to the ENT with you.” Chloe nods, smiling even as another tear rolls down her cheek.

“Hi, Mrs. Beale. It’s Carolyn Dunbar, the nurse from Barden Academy. I have Chloe here in my office complaining of a particularly painful sore throat.” Chloe winces, hearing her mother’s voice and pitch rise even through the phone as the nurse explains the situation. Her phone starts vibrating with texts from her siblings asking what’s wrong. Mrs. Dunbar acts as a translator, relaying the messages from Mrs. Beale to Chloe, who responds with whispers and nods or shakes of her head. Mrs. Dunbar then relays the information to Mrs. Beale, and slowly, very slowly, they get all of the details sorted, and Mrs. Beale is searching ENTs in the area. Chloe declined to have her family fly out, presumably since they were just here a week ago. Before she knows it, Beca’s walking her to the cafeteria to get breakfast. She’s got an entire bag of cough drops in her hand and some honey and tea packets, and her mom is texting her. Beca holds her hand even when people whisper because Chloe hates having to explain why she hid this from her parents for  _ a year _ and she doesn’t want to go to the doctors but her mom is calling up every laryngologist and ENT in the area. And she isn’t a Bella anymore.

This is the first time it’s truly hit her, truly become real. Chloe Beale is not a Barden Bella. And the truth knocks the wind out of her as she goes through the breakfast line; she’s dedicated her entire life the past three years to this group. Ever since she got to Barden in fourth grade and the Bellas performed for the entire school, it’s all she wanted to do. Singing is all she wanted to do. And she can’t. Maybe not ever again. She is not a Barden Bella, and that physically hurts her. She’s not so hungry any more.

 

Beca doesn’t understand how, but Chloe’s mom managed to get Chloe an appointment the day before Thanksgiving. Two and a half weeks away, which is pretty soon to get into a renowned voice doctor’s office. Chloe had looked him up immediately to make sure he wouldn’t screw up her voice, and he comes highly recommended. Beca figured Mrs. Beale might have been particularly persistent if she was anything like Chloe.

Over those few weeks, Beca and Chloe buckle down in classes and study for their upcoming midterms. The play debuts with Beca playing the Cheshire Cat and Chloe goes every night. The students are given a discounted rate and the play is open to the general public. Beca’s dad brings her flowers, and Chloe screams so loudly for Beca that it gives the rumor mill more to talk about. It snows three more times, once over a weekend. Chloe had dragged Beca out to an old field with a hill where all the lower school students were sledding on lunch trays. They built snowmen and had snowball battles with other kids.

Chloe’s new roommate moved in, another junior named Melanie. She was friends with Chloe and had worked with her in a few classes over the years. But they weren’t best friends, just comfortable roommates. Melanie didn’t care if Chloe was dating Beca so long as she warned Chloe if they were ‘getting it on’ as Melanie put it. And so long as Chloe didn’t mind if she brought her boyfriend Omar over sometimes.

Beca and Chloe don’t ‘get it on.’ Not that they’re just sitting in their rooms studying, or reading the Bible- albeit Beca does start going to church sometimes with Chloe. They make out. They tease each other, make each other crazy. One afternoon, Beca showed up to dress rehearsal covered in hickeys on her neck. It took her an extra half hour with the makeup girls to cover them. So yeah, they do stuff. They use their tongues and their teeth and their hands all over each other’s bodies. They just don’t ‘go all the way’ as Beca so elegantly says. Because Chloe’s throat hurts her all the time and when she starts to kiss Beca, sometimes she gets loud and it hurts her and Beca can’t stand to be hurting her. They’re happy with keeping things slow for now.

But finally, the day of the appointment comes. It’s a half-day in school. Some of the more local students are going home for the long weekend, but the majority is staying. According to Aubrey, the school makes an excellent Thanksgiving feast for the students and shuttles some of the older students into the shopping center downtown on Black Friday, nothing too crazy. But as soon as classes let out at 11:30, Chloe and Aubrey and Beca are getting into a school van driven by Chloe’s student advisor Mrs. Amaral. It had been a fight to get the school to let both Aubrey and Beca come, but in the end they wanted Chloe to feel safe and comfortable, and they were both there- it probably helped when Mr. Beale called the school with his opinion and Mr. Mitchell threatened to go to the dean of the school.

“Are you nervous?” Aubrey asks while they’re driving down the highway. Beca was sitting in the backseat behind Chloe, leaning her chin to rest on the back of Chloe’s seat. Aubrey smiled sympathetically, offering her support from the other side of the car for now.

“Mhmm,” Chloe sighs. She’s been speaking softly and drinking a lot of honey tea and ice water. She’s decided to try swimming for her sport, and the school agreed that she could count her first season of cheerleading since she was almost done when she had to step down.

“Well, that makes sense. It’s okay to be nervous. Makes sense, almost,” Beca shrugs nervously. She’s not so good at comforting people. It’s never been her strong suit. Rolling her eyes, Aubrey kicks Beca. “But, like, you’ll be fine. It’s just an evaluation so he can figure it out. Everything will be okay,” Beca adds, glaring at Aubrey.

“I know, it’s just…” Chloe trails off. “What if I can’t sing anymore?”

“You realize, Chloe, that that is the worst case scenario? The one in a million thing?  _ If _ this is nodes- which it might not be- surgery is not the only option. There’s medication, there’s vocal rest, and speech therapy. And if surgery is the best option, then it is more than likely that there will be no permanent damage to your voice. It is  _ possible _ that it could permanently alter your vocal range, but it is also  _ possible _ that the sky will rain down purple… elephants!” Mrs. Amaral says calmly. “Anything is possible, but not everything is likely. Listen to your friends, okay? Have you talked to your family? Told them we’re on our way to the appointment?” Chloe nods, wiping at a stray tear. Quickly, silently, Beca slithers out of her seat belt. Standing for a moment, she pecks Chloe’s cheek.

“You will be fine,” she whispers as Mrs. Amaral chides her for standing and ‘being unsafe in  _ a moving vehicle, Miss Mitchell.’ _

 

“Stop tapping your foot. You’re driving me nuts,” Aubrey hisses. Beca blushes, making an effort to lay her foot flat on the floor. But doctor’s offices make her itch. Ever since she had to drag her mom to countless doctors, force her to take her pills and get tests, it makes her hate doctors. And Beca’s mother didn’t help because she refused to take Beca to the doctor as a child. Mostly because every practice had a male doctor and Beca’s mother was convinced that the male doctor would molest her during an appointment. So she learned the fear and social workers had to drag her into the doctors’ offices kicking and screaming.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. But her skin is crawling and she can’t sit down anymore so she stands, walking over to the window to the exam room. It overlooks the city, three floors up and Beca crosses her arms over her chest and looks down. It makes her feel like she’s a giant looking down on the world, not like a kid waiting in the doctor’s office.

“Beca, c’mere,” Chloe mumbles from the exam table. Holding out her hand, she gestures insistently until Beca comes over and grabs her hand, kissing her knuckles. “You afraid of the doctor?” Chloe teases softly. Aubrey pointedly stares down at her phone.

“Nuh-uh,” Beca mumbles, but the death grip she has on Chloe’s hand tells a different story.

“You could’ve stayed at school. This is just a… a consult. A… what’s it called? An examination? That’s not the right word,” Chloe whispers, puckering her brow in confusion.

“An evaluation?” Beca suggests.

“That’s it!” Chloe laughs. It dies off with a wince and a hand flying up to her throat.

“He’s gonna help you,” Beca promises. “This doctor… He’s gonna help you, okay? Promise. And of course I came. This is important for you.” She kisses Chloe- keeping it PG because Aubrey is  _ still very much in the room _ . 

There’s a light knock at the door and the doctor comes in, followed by Mrs. Amaral who had stepped out for coffee. Dr. Litchkey is a relatively young man. He actually reminds Chloe a bit of her father. He’s got the wrinkles of someone who’s seen sleepless nights and troubles, but the hair and vitality of a thirty year old. His eyes crinkle when he smiles and he wears his lab coat the way a police officer wears their badge: with pride. He holds out one hand for Chloe to shake and she takes it as Beca backs up a few steps- solely to make room for the doctor, not at all because she’s nervous. 

“Ah, Miss Beale. I’m Dr. Ronald Litchkey. I understand you’ve been having some pain?” Chloe nods. “Well then, let’s see what I can do about that.” He grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: I am starting my freshmen year of college this week (TOMORROW) so my life is about to get a little crazy while I adjust. It will probably take me a little longer to update and I'll have a more erratic schedule. I am still working on things, and I'll try to keep updating as regularly as possible but there's only so much I can do. Thanks for reading!


	21. Suppressing Reflexes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now for an official diagnosis on Chloe!

**Chapter 21: Suppressing Reflexes**

  
  


For a long time the doctor just talks to Chloe. They talk about how long she’s been singing and how often they practice. How her voice has been since she started feeling hoarse. How she sings when she’s  _ not _ performing or practicing. When she started getting singing lessons. How often she went to lessons. How well she did in her lessons. 

Then, they begin the physical examination. He uses a light to look down her nose, her throat, and her ears. He feels her throat. He has her sing scales and say tongue twisters. He listens to her lungs and does a bunch of other things. After a while, he claps his hands once and leans back against the counter. He crosses his arms over his chest and looks at Chloe, then glances at Mrs. Amaral and back to Chloe.

“So, the results of the physical examination are inconclusive,” he sighs.

“That’s it? You’re supposed to be the best in the area,” Aubrey protests. He smiles.

“I wasn’t done,” he tells her. Blushing, Aubrey steps back and holds Chloe’s hand. Beca is standing by the window, biting her nails. “There are other ways I can examine you. In order to properly diagnose, I need to do a video stroboscopy.”

“A what?” Chloe asks. When Beca hears her voice hitch, she moves closer to rest a hand on Chloe’s shoulder.

“Videostroboscopy. I take this tube and put it down your throat. There’s a strobe light that flashes light just a bit slower than your vocal cords vibrate. The camera takes pictures and recordings that make it seem like the cords are moving in slow motion. When I look at the video after, I can tell what’s causing the pain,” he explains.

“When would we do this? Do we have to make another appointment?” Mrs. Amaral asks.

“We can do it now. It’ll only take an hour, and most of that is prep work. The procedure is very simple,” he says. “No point in making you come back if we can do it right here, now. We don’t even put you to sleep. It’s quick, virtually painless, and very safe. All we need is parental permission.” Chloe squeezes Aubrey’s hand.

“The school has parental rights during the school year. We can do the procedure so long as Chloe is comfortable,” Mrs. Amaral explains. Turning to Chloe, she adds softer, “if you want to call your parents before we make this decision, you can.” Chloe opens and closes her mouth a few times.

“Let’s do it now,” she decides. The doctor leaves to go get some papers for Mrs. Amaral to sign. She follows him while Chloe pulls out her phone. All three girls sit in silence for a moment while the phone rings. Beca can hear someone speaking on the other end. “Mommy, I miss you,” Chloe whimpered, her voice breaking. “I wish you w-were here.” The tears flow quickly, like a dam suddenly broke. Aubrey takes the phone and puts it on speaker while Beca hugs Chloe from behind, ripping her shoulders fiercely.

“Mrs. Beale, she’s okay. I promise. Just scared. It’s Aubrey. We’re at the doctor’s office and she’s just scared, I think. I’ll explain,” she says quickly. Chloe is crying now, leaning back into Beca. Awkwardly, Beca clambers onto the exam table, the paper crinkling beneath her. She shifts so that Chloe is sitting between her legs, back pressed against Beca’s front. While Aubrey explains the results of the initial examination to Mrs. Beale, Beca holds Chloe and sings softly in her ear.

 

Within twenty minutes, Chloe’s panic and fear had subsided. She wipes the tears from her face and Beca kisses her cheek, scooting to a more appropriate position beside her. Chloe had talked to her mother, keeping her from hopping the next plane to North Dakota. Mrs. Amaral returned with the completed paperwork and a nurse came to give Chloe a thin gown to wear. The other girls left and after a few moments, Chloe was seated in an examination chair, similar to that of a dentist, and dressed in her paper robe. The nurse attached a heart rate monitor and a nasal cannula with oxygen in it. Then, she sprayed something on her throat.

“An anaesthetic,” she explains. “It relaxes the muscles in your throats to make this more comfortable and let the endoscope pass easier. I should put some in your nose, too. It helps suppress the gag reflex.”

“It won’t hurt?” Chloe asks, her voice impossibly small. 

“It might be uncomfortable,” the nurse apologizes. Chloe flinches as she sprays the anaesthetic into her nose and replaces the cannula. “And the scope may still push against your uvula, the little hanging thing in the back of your throat. That might still trigger your gag reflex and you might cough, but you’ll be fine, okay?”

“Mhmm,” Chloe sighs. She takes a deep breath and leans back, closing her eyes. When the doctor comes back in, he frowns.

“It’s a little crowded in here. I’m going to ask you guys to wait in the lobby. It’ll only be twenty minutes or so,” he says. Mrs. Amaral stands, but when Beca tries to leave- embarrassingly grateful for the excuse to escape- Chloe’s grip on her hand tightens.

“No,” she whines petulantly.

“One can stay,” he revises. “To hold her hand. But I can’t have all three of you.” Aubrey bristles somewhat when Chloe immediately turns to Beca;  _ she _ used to be the one to hold Chloe’s hand when she got scared, and now she was being replaced.

“You’ll be fine. See you in twenty minutes,” she whispers, kissing Chloe’s cheek. Turning to Beca, she glares and adds, “take care of her, hobbit.”

After they leave, the doctor smiles at the girls and pulls on his gloves and face mask. “Looks like it’s just us. Let’s get this over with so you can go home, eh?” He picks up a black instrument with a tube attached and shows it to them. “This is the endoscope. We put it down your throat, and this bit here will emit the flashes of light. Right here, see this? It’s the teeny tiny camera. It records everything so we can look at it after. Now, there may be some discomfort when we put the tube in. That’s why Joanne here put on the topical anaesthetic. Are you ready?” Biting her lip, Chloe grips Beca’s hand tighter. She nods. “Good. So, I need you to lean forward from your hips. Try and keep your upper body straight. Oh, not that far. Perfect, just like that. Now, open wide.”

Chloe cries a little as they put the tube in her throat. He pushes her tongue down with a piece of gauze but the scope scrapes the back of her throat and she gags, coughing and sputtering. Beca holds her hand and tries to rub soothing circles on her back, but her hand is shaking. She hates this.

“You’re okay. You can breathe. It’s fine,” she whispers.

“Good, good. Perfect. Almost there. Okay, the scope’s in position,” the doctor says gently. He smiles at her. “So, Chloe I know it’s going to feel a little weird, but I need you to say the alphabet for me.” Chloe’s voice is awkwardly muffled by the tool in her throat, but the doctor smiles when she finishes. “Good. Excellent. Now, pronounce your vowels for me. Nice and long.”

“You sound silly,” Beca whispers, trying to make Chloe smile. And she does, and then she laughs which makes her cough and wince. She grasps at Beca’s hand like a lifeline. “I’m sorry,” Beca winces. Chloe’s eyes flutter closed for a moment before she continues with her vowels. They run through a few more vocal exercises and gives Chloe some more phrases to say.

“Alright, almost done. I need to see you singing, now. Can you do a basic scale for me?” Even muffled by the stroboscope, Chloe’s voice is beautiful and Beca can’t help but smile. She squeezes her hand reassuringly. “Alright, now let’s get you singing. Just pick any song and I’ll tell you when you can stop.” Chloe shifts, glancing over at Beca. She starts to sing softly and it takes Beca a moment to recognize what it is.

“Titanium?” Beca asks. Chloe can’t nod but winks in agreement. Beca just shakes her head, laughing as they finish up the exam. 

 

“Alright, let’s get this looked at,” the doctor announces. He comes in, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. It had taken ten minutes for Chloe’s throat and nose to stop tingling. In that time she got redressed and Aubrey and Mrs. Amaral came back into the room. They had waited awkwardly, chitchatting with each other for a while before he came back. “I reviewed the recordings. You do have vocal nodules. Look.” He pulls it up on a screen opposite the exam table. A picture pops up of something disgustingly pink. Two gray and white folds opened and closed like curtains. On each side, there were small little white bumps.

“Those are the nodes?” Chloe asks. He nods.

“Nodules are like calluses.” Beca gives him a bewildered look. “Do you exercise?” Chloe nods. “Well, when you get blisters from running, do you stop and rest to let them heal?” Chloe nods again. “Nodes are like blisters. If you rest properly or use the equipment properly, they go away. If you keep abusing it and don’t give them a chance to heal, they harden and form calluses which are painful.”

“Oh,” Beca murmurs, nodding in understanding. “So, what do you do for them?”

“Well, if you had come in earlier, I could have tried medication and vocal rest. But these nodules are… aggressive and painful. It’s progressed to a point where surgery is now our only option.” Chloe mewls sadly. “Nodule removal surgery is nothing big. There are some risks of permanent vocal damage, but they are small. I just have to warn you.” Chloe takes a big breath and squeezes both Aubrey and Beca’s hands.

“Tell me the risks. And not just the little, minor ones. The big, scary ones because my mom said I’m a lightning rod for complications. When I was born, I was breech so my face was pushing out. I had to be delivered by c-section and I had an allergic reaction to the epidural and the anaesthetic they used on my mom. I almost died on my birthday. So, let me know what I’m in for,” she grunts.

“It could cause permanent hoarseness. The surgery could permanently scar the inner lining of your throat. It could… Make it very painful for you to speak or use your voice or sing. It could also change your vocal range. You might lose your upper register, or maybe your lower register. All of these changes may be permanent but it could also be temporary after the surgery. Do you understand?” Chloe nods, biting her lip.

“You won’t accidentally cut her vocal cords?” Beca asks nervously. Aubrey throws her a sharp look. “It’s a valid question,” she mumbles, staring at the floor.

“Actually, the vocal cords aren’t cords. They’re not little strings that vibrate. See here, they’re actually more like vocal  _ folds _ . They’re flaps that open and close, and vibrate against each other. That’s what makes the different sounds and pitches,” he explains, smiling gently at Beca. “So there is no way to just… sever them. The scarring is what would hurt her, really. But I’m an excellent surgeon and those complications are not highly likely.”

“So… You can fix me?” Chloe asks, clearing her throat with a wince.

“I believe I can,” he grins. “So, I’m gonna write you a prescription to help manage this pain. Then, you can go out and make an appointment for surgery with the front desk. It’ll happen in a hospital, but you can make the appointment through me.” A laugh bubbles up from Chloe and she  suddenly finds she can’t stop laughing. The doctor just smiles at her for a moment, chuckling before clapping her on the shoulder and walking out. Aubrey just smirks and Mrs. Amaral smiles bemusedly before texting someone- presumably the school about the results. Beca shakes her head and leans on Chloe’s shoulder, squeezing her hand.

 

They end up getting back to the school much later that night. Chloe had called her mother before scheduling the surgery for her February vacation. Then, they’d stopped to fill the prescription the doctor had given her.

“Magic mouthwash?” Aubrey drawls, looking at the bottle once they’re back in the car. 

“It’s got lidocaine and stuff. All I do is gargle it and it numbs my throat for a while. It’ll be good,” Chloe defends. The pharmacist had taken a few minutes to explain everything before she went out to the school car and they all went on their way.

So, by the time they get back to the school it’s already dark. The temperature has dropped and the girls are shivering even in their winter coats. They all changed into their thick winter pajamas and joined their friends sitting in the common room. Apparently, on cold nights the girls would all huddle up together in their pajamas and watch bad TV shows. Beca didn’t understand how these girls could condone cuddling up like this in big groups but all gave scandalized looks when Beca crawls into Chloe’s lap, holding her.

But she’s done caring. Chloe had a really hard day listening to the doctors talk about the problems with her voice. She’s terrified that this surgery- which is the only thing that could possibly save her voice and stop the pain- could also destroy her voice and make her pain more permanent. And Beca couldn’t make that better, but she could hold Chloe. She could hold her and try to make her feel better. So Beca did just that.

She held her hands underneath the blanket and squeezed her hands. She kissed her temple and laughed when Chloe did. She had to check her reflexes, keep herself from pulling Chloe onto her lap or crawling onto Chloe’s. It was difficult, but she had been learning to control her impulses when she was with Chloe in public. Hopefully soon, she wouldn’t feel like she had to hide anymore.


	22. Back to Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the doctor's office, things go back to normal. For now, at least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys, but this is low key a filler chapter. I just need some fluffy side plots to get me from point a to point b (also SIDE STAUBREY IN HERE)

**Chapter 22: Back to Business**

  
  


Beca was discovering that her least favorite part of her dad teaching at her school was being in his AP English class.

In theory, she loved English. She loved language, and the power of words. But she preferred manipulating words to a beat, to a rhythm. She liked music, liked its varying facets, different sounds and intonations. Beca could easily mix together the beats of two songs, but ask her to compare two essays or poems and she was lost. Having an English teacher as a father sucked monumentally.

Her only saving grace in that class was Chloe; her dad tried not to favor them, but Chloe took to English class like a fish to water, and Warren Mitchell loved an enthusiastic student. And his daughter, of course. 

In the weeks following Chloe’s diagnosis, she relied heavily on that “magic mouthwash.” Every few hours, she would run to the bathroom to swish some around her mouth and gargle it to coat her throat. It allowed her to speak in discussions in class, but every teacher knew not to push her to speak due to her need for vocal rest. Chloe took solace in writing.

“Alright,” Warren smiled, leaning back against his desk and staring at the students. “One last big project before you all go off for winter break. We all read the poetry packet, yes?” All of the students mumble their assent. Beca just stares down at her notebook, doodling. “Excellent. You will break into pairs and write two poems, two different poems. I’ll assign the topics of your poems randomly. We’ve been working on word choice, diction, tone, and audience awareness. Now, your audience is the class. Be  _ aware _ of that,” he jokes. A few students laugh weakly. “Get into pairs and I’ll assign the topics of your poems.”

Chloe immediately makes eye contact with Beca, grinning. “You up for this?” she asks teasingly, gesturing from herself to Beca.

“Always,” Beca laughs. They shift their desks closer together, ignoring the murmurs that erupt around them. After a few more minutes of students chatting, Mr. Mitchell gets their attention again.

“Alright! Now that you have your partners, let’s find out your topics. Please note: your two poems should be like a dialogue. They will be read to the class after vacation, but I am expecting a printed copy of the poems before vacation. I will be coming around, and each group will pull a topic out of this hat.” He brandishes an old beat up baseball cap filled with little scraps of paper. He writes the topics on his clipboard along with partner names as he goes around the room.

“Miss Beale, Miss Mitchell, what a surprise,” he smiles when he gets to them. Beca rolls her eyes but Chloe smiles back, reaching in to pick out their topic. She reads the paper, bites her lip and hands it back to him. Beca catches a glimpse of it as he writes it down.  _ Forbidden love _ , it reads.

“We have to read these sonnets to the class? Out loud?” Beca asks quietly. He nods and turns to Chloe.

“And these poems have to be related to our topic, and they should work with each other?” Chloe confirms. He nods and continues distributing the poem topics. When he’s finished, he turns to address the class.

“This is worth half of your assessment grade for the semester. Each of you should write a poem, but they should be partner poems; one complements the other. They need to be a dialogue, or a call and response. Drafts are due before break! You will be reading both of these in front of the class as soon as we return from break. Preferably from memory! This is not something you can scrape together the night before,” he warns. Beca shakes her head as the bell rings and the class leaves.

“It’ll be fun,” Chloe grins. She clears her throat with a wince.

“Go to the nurse. I’ll see you later?” Beca squeezes Chloe’s hand as they pack up and walk out of the classroom, waving to Mr. Mitchell.

“Mkay,” Chloe sighs. She starts to pull away but Beca draws her back in to kiss her. They keep it short, but they can feel the stares as they part. Neither girl mentions it as Chloe slips away and Beca heads toward her chemistry class.

 

“Ugh, I wish your dad had been  _ my _ AP English teacher,” Stacie groaned later that weekend when they were discussing the poetry assignment. “I might have actually gotten a better grade. Mrs. Goodrich hated me.”

“She sabotaged you?” Beca laughs.

“If she had just given my paper on rape culture the A it deserved, I’d be valedictorian,” she grumbled.

“Are you and Aubrey really that close?” Beca raised her eyebrows.

“One one thousandth of a point apart,” Stacie mourns. “I begged the guidance department secretary to tell me. We’re an iota of a point away from each other.”

“So it’s all set in stone right now?”

“Well,” Stacie hesitates, “it’s not technically set in stone. They don’t close grades until after third quarter… So maybe… If I do really, really well…”

“Yeah, but that won’t make a difference to colleges at that point,” Beca points out. “And what’s the difference between 1 and 2? You’re both super smart and right up there.”

“It’s the pride! I don’t want to be a loser! I can’t lose to Posen, not when it counts. It’s all been leading up to this!” Beca just rolls her eyes at Stacie’s theatrics.

“Geez, Stace. Maybe you should have joined theater, too. You’re certainly dramatic enough.” Stacie punches her. “Ow, dude. Words, not hands. Besides, I thought this competition was all about sexual tension? Can’t you just… like… make out with her and call yourselves both winners?”

“Wait…” Stacie grins, and Beca doesn’t like the gleam in her eye.

“What?” she asks warily.

“Posen’s never dated anyone before… I think she told Chloe it was because it would distract her from her schoolwork. If I started flirting with her… Maybe I could distract her enough that she’d fall behind and I could win!” Beca hesitates.

“That’s pretty scummy, Stace,” Beca hedges. “It would really hurt her. Especially since I’m 98% certain she likes you as much as you like her.” She thought she remembered Chloe confirming Aubrey’s feelings and didn’t want Stacie to crush the girl.

“Aubrey Posen has hated me since 8th grade. She’s fucked with me in so many ways, always trying to be better than me. I’m just repaying the favor and screwing with her.” 

“Stacie, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Ugh, fine. I guess you’re right; it is a pretty douchey thing, and I don’t think I could hurt her like that.” She sighs, leaning her head on her shoulder and glancing out the window. “So, you’re joining winter track? I run the 1000 meters and the long jump.” Beca hesitates at the abrupt change of subject.

“Uh… Yeah. I’m gonna try for the mile race, I think. I like distance, y’know?” Stacie nods. Groaning, she looks out the window. “What?”

“It’s supposed to be snowing by now. A storm was supposed to come in and I was hoping it might snow hard enough that we don’t have to go to the pool for gym tomorrow. If it’s too cold in the pool building, we do something else instead.” Beca wrinkles her nose. She had been dreading the beginning of the swimming unit this upcoming Tuesday. Why did she have to go learn about pool safety and swim techniques anyway? It was a stupid unit, and why would they put it in the middle of the winter? Wouldn’t the pool just freeze?

“Ugh. I forgot that starts this week,” Beca whines. “Can’t this unit wait until, like… spring?” Stacie just laughs and smiles at Beca.

“Think of it this way: you just might get to see Chloe in her bathing suit,” she smirks. Beca just slaps her arm and shakes her head.

 

“I love you, you know that, right?” Beca murmurs. They were in the common room on Chloe’s floor, waiting until curfew for the night security guards to come kick them out. Chloe was holding Beca, arms wrapped around her waist while they laid down, watching TV with a blanket draped over them. Beca’s eyelids were drooping but she craned her head to turn and look at Chloe when she didn’t reply. She smiles bemusedly when she finds Chloe’s eyes closed. As she exhales, her nose whistles a little bit. Beca just snuggles in closer to her. Chloe’s arms reflexively tighten around her and Beca pulls the blanket tighter, closing her eyes.

They’re woken up half an hour later by a reluctant security guard.

“Wanted to let you girls sleep, but my bosses would have my ass,” he apologizes. Chloe yawns.

“It’s okay, Tim. We understand,” she smiles sleepily. Beca rubs her eyes with her knuckles and stumbles behind Chloe and the officer. Part of her is mortified that he’s walking her around the dorm while she’s wearing her stupid flannel pajama pants and sweatshirt, a pair of striped fuzzy socks and her hair in a messy bun. A larger part is just grumpy that she was woken up.

“Night Chlo,” Beca whispered. Eyes barely half open, she leans in to kiss Chloe. Giggling, Chloe pulls away and nods at a red-faced Tim.

“Goodnight, Miss Mitchell,” he says gruffly, leaving her on her doorstep. She nods, yawning again as she unlocks her door. Aubrey is already sound asleep, the light off when Beca comes in. She stumbles toward her bed, pausing when she hears Aubrey whispering to her.

“Huh?” she asks, moving closer to hear better. As the light streaming in through the windows shifted, Beca realized Aubrey was asleep and mumbling into her pillowcase. She was moving away when Aubrey spoke again.

“I love you,” she murmured. “I love her, don’t take her from me,” she continues. Beca pauses, curiosity peaked. “Help, the tigers are gonna eat her.” Beca has to stifle a laugh.

“It’s okay,” she whispers and Aubrey rolls over in her sleep, scowling.

“Stacie, I love you,” Aubrey declares. Beca freezes, trying to figure out how to react. It’s one thing to assume that the feelings are mutual, but to hear Aubrey admit it? What is Beca supposed to do with this information? Does she tell Chloe? Chloe already probably knows. Should she tell Stacie? Beca has no clue, but she’s exhausted and she has to go to class in the morning. Deciding to forget this ever happened, Beca goes to sleep.

 

The next morning, Beca feels guilty about not telling Aubrey.

“You know… Aubrey, um… You talk in your sleep,” Beca says gently. Aubrey raises one eyebrow, cheeks turning pink.

“Do I? I thought I stopped doing that a while ago,” she admits. “And, uh, what did I say?”

“Just… you know… Tigers were trying to eat Stacie, and you were upset because, uh… you said you loved her.” Beca shrugs nervously, straightening the buttons on her shirt. “I just, um… She likes you too, y’know.”

“I really need to get this sleep-talking thing under control,” Aubrey groans. She shakes her head, closing her eyes and pursing her lips for a moment. “And don’t lie to me about Stacie. I’ve been so… such a bitch to her… Just, don’t tell her what I said, okay? Or anyone else?” Before Beca can do any more than nod, Aubrey is practically out the door. She pops her head back in to smirk at Beca for a moment. “Have fun at the pool in gym today,” she grins. Beca moans and flops back on her bed while Aubrey laughs and closes the door, effectively distracting Beca from her revealing sleep talk.


	23. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets, Secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone............ Not.

**Chapter 23: Finding the Words**

  
  


Throughout the morning, Beca tried to focus on her schoolwork instead of dreading gym. In English, her dad gave everyone time to work on their poems, taking the class up to the library. Chloe had taken Beca by the wrist and dragged her to a corner table near the window, overlooking the entire campus. It was beautiful: old stone buildings covered in snow, evergreen trees lining paths well worn in footprints, a blank expanse of white in the school commons.

“So, I was thinking my poem could be, like, the opener. And I’d, well, um… I was think- mmm  what are you- mmm- doing?” Beca’s planning was interrupted by Chloe pushing her against the wall, kissing her.

“What any good boarding school kid does- make out in the library. Why? Got a problem?” Chloe laughs in between kisses.

“Um, no, but- dammit- we’re in  _ public _ ,” Beca points out nervously. She pushes away from Chloe gently. “And we have an assignment to do.”

“You’ve barely wanted to touch me since you came to the doctor with me,” Chloe pouts, taking her seat. “Are you not attracted to me anymore?” Beca knits her brows in confusion- why the fuck would Chloe think that?

“Of course I am,” Beca scoffs, affronted. “But with your voice… I noticed, um… When we… kiss and stuff...” Beca lowers her voice, fumbling over the words. “When we get… physical? I guess? When we do that… um, you talk. And, kinda, um… whine and make these noises and-and-and, like afterwards, you would kind of hold your throat? Like it hurt, so, um, I didn’t… want it to hurt you. So, I guess… I didn’t mean to make you feel like I-I-I wasn’t  _ attracted _ to you ‘cause… Damn, Chlo, that’s just not true.” Beca blushes as Chloe beams.

“You’re so sweet,” Chloe whispers. She stands up, prancing over to kiss Beca’s cheek. She pulls her chair out so she can sit closer, grinning at Beca all the while. “But that mouthwash stuff they gave me numbs my throat so I can talk. If I use that, we can… make all the noise we want.” She raises an eyebrow and smirks at Beca who, in turn, blushes fiercely and stares pointedly at the notebook in front of her.

“Um, okay,” Beca squeaks. “C-can we, um, talk about the poems now? We only have two and a half weeks.”

“Sure thing, Becs,” Chloe grins easily. “So, you’re gonna write about me, yeah?” She winks and Beca laughs, getting back to the assignment at hand.

 

Beca was trudging to the recreation center, following an overeager Chloe to the first day of the pool unit in gym.

Gym class had become a special kind of hell for Beca after Chloe’s doctor appointment. The doctor had excused Chloe from all physical activity since the extra strain might worsen her nodes. This meant Chloe didn’t have to do another sport until at least the spring, and during PE she completed packets on different sports and workout regimes rather than participate. Since she no longer had to change, she would wait on the bleachers for Beca to come out of the locker room, leaving Beca to deal with all of the judgmental, mean girls who had grown much more confident in their teasing now that Chloe wasn’t around to call them out.

“Hey, midget,” Annalise snickers. She was a junior, Alice’s cousin, who seemed to take great pleasure in making Beca miserable. “You ready to swim? Or do you need arm floaties?” Becan clenched her jaw but she couldn’t stop the embarrassed blush as the other girls laughed. She pushes past the crowd and heads toward the changing stalls, snapping the plastic curtain closed. Beca takes a moment to take deep breaths. It’s two-thousand-and- _ fucking _ -sixteen; why are these girls such bigots? Sure, Beca could understand why some parents and grandparents could have these opinions about her relationship, but these kids grew up in a new, more tolerant world. Why were they still so full of hate? Why did bullying Beca seem to be the highlight of their days?

Now that she was alone in the changing stall, she took a few moment to just  _ breathe _ . Taking out the school-issued one-piece their teacher had passed out in health class that past Friday, she runs her fingers over the racerback pattern. It was a sleek black suit with a red trim, and the school’s logo was emblazoned on the front. Groaning and rolling back her shoulders, Beca strips off the layers she was wearing: the school skirt, thermal tights, boots, undershirt and blouse. She could hear the other girls moving around in the locker room as she stripped herself of the last remaining garments, letting them fall to the floor. Beca was just starting to pull the bathing suit on when she heard the curtain snap open.

It took her a moment to register the laughter, the camera flashes, and the breeze on her suddenly exposed body. When she does register it, she screams, trying to yank the curtain closed while squawking an indignant, “dude!” The girls, Annalise at the head, just laugh and hold the curtain open. Mortified and red-faced, Beca grabs her towel and covers herself.

“Hey, what’s going on over here?” the gym teacher asks, coming over. The girls finally let Beca close the curtain.

“Mrs. Miller, Beca just flashed us!” one of Annalise’s friends squeaks.

“I did not!” Beca protests through the curtain.

“Yes she did,” the girls nod. Annalise adds, “and she made inappropriate comments while she did it.”

“Girls, these are serious allegations. I don’t like you making them likely. Go get dressed. You have two more minutes before class starts,” Mrs. Miller replies sternly. As Beca listens to the sound of footsteps retreating, she hears Mrs. Miller tap on the curtain. “Beca, when you get dressed, please come see me in my office.”

“Okay,” Beca says quietly. She buries her face in her towel for a moment, inhaling deeply. She had run out of laundry detergent and borrowed Chloe’s for this load, and the scent of her towel reminded Beca of her girlfriend. Beca only allowed herself a moment to breathe it in before she pulls on the bathing suit. Grabbing her towel and slipping on flip-flops, she sneaks out of the stall, hoping to get to the office unnoticed. She walks hugging the towel to her chest as if it can protect her from their acidic, poisonous snickers and sneers. Beca walks quickly, her shoes slapping the tile. Mrs. Miller, an older woman with short gray hair and a muscled figure, beckons her into the small, cramped office.

“You didn’t flash those girls, did you Beca?” Mrs. Miller asks with a knowing tilt of her head. Biting her lip, Beca shakes her head. “And you didn’t say anything inappropriate?”

“All I said was ‘dude,’” Beca whispers. She hates how small her voice sounds, like a mouse. She wants to be angry, furious, all harsh, spiky words and righteous indignation, but she can’t. Because there’s more of  _ them _ than there are of  _ her _ and she doesn’t know what they’re capable of.

“So tell me what happened,” she coaxes. The other girls start filing out towards the pool, smirking through the glass as they watch Beca speak with Mrs. Miller. Beca stays silent. “I want to help you. I can file a report, seek disciplinary action, but I can’t prove anything without your statement.” Silence. “Beca,” she repeats.

“I have nothing to say about it, except that I didn’t do anything wrong.” Biting her lip, Beca turns to leave before turning back. “Um, Mrs. Miller, how does this swim thing work? I can’t… What level of experience does everyone else have?” Mrs. Miller nods, allowing the subject to shift.

“Well, we split the classes into four groups. The highest is for the experts, mostly the swim team. They refine technique and work on improving their speed. Then we have the decent swimmers. Non-competitive but highly skilled. They do a lot of work with safety skills and learning the different styles. We have intermediate swimmers, usually people who can swim but want to get better or haven’t swam in a while. At this age, we have very few beginner swimmers. Why?” Beca sighs, glancing out towards the exit. Chloe is probably sitting on the bleachers poolside, an open worksheet in front of her as she looks around, waiting for Beca to come out.

“My mom was… sick when I was growing up. I kind of… I had to stop swim lessons when I was about seven. I don’t… remember much,” she confesses. After Beca’s dad had left, her mother was too… unstable to take Beca to swim lessons on a regular basis. On her good days, she’d remember to sign Beca up for lessons but would then cancel when she had an episode and was too afraid to leave the house, or worse, when she would just blank out, not moving, staring at the wall while Beca sat in the foyer of the house in her bathing suit, towel on her lap while she waited for mommy to come take her.

“Can you swim at all?” Mrs. Miller asks quietly.

“I mean, I know enough to not drown,” Beca replies caustically. Mrs. Miller gives her a sharp look and Beca tries again. “But I don’t remember much of the technique. Is there… any way we could fast-track my swimming? I don’t need anyone to look at me like… I’m a weirdo or something?”

“We can work something out. Maybe someone can give you private lessons after school sometimes, too. That should help. But for today, I can get you started in a pool safety course with the intermediate kids. No need to single you out. We can focus on all out-of-the-water stuff. Don’t worry, kid, we’ll figure this out.” Mrs. Miller claps her bracingly on the shoulder before ushering her out to the pool deck. When she’s going to sit on the edge of the water with the other kids, she waves at Chloe shyly, ignoring the giggles of Annalise and her friends.

 

“What happened earlier?” Chloe asked after class. Beca had gone in the water, but hadn’t had to showcase her lack of swimming skills thanks to Mrs. Miller. But Chloe noticed the way the other girls all seemed to be pointing at Beca, laughing and whispering. Now, after class, Chloe was walking arm in arm with Beca, practically bouncing along. Glancing over, Beca couldn’t help but smile. She loved the way Chloe looked in the winter time. Her cheeks were pink with cold, even while she was bundled up with a scarf, hat, and gloves. Her bright red hair reflected off the snow and her eyes sparkled with mischief as she tried to catch snowflakes or kicks clumps of snow towards Beca.

“Uh, what do you mean?” Beca asks, sliding around on the snow and ice. Her hair was still wet from the pool and she was getting colder by the second.

“With those girls, Annalise and her friends? And Mrs. Miller?”

“Uh, nothing happened with the girls. I was talking to Mrs. Miller because I, um, I can’t exactly swim,” Beca fibs- well, partially fibs.

“Why didn’t you tell me you can’t swim? I could have taught you.”

“It’s embarrassing. It’d be like saying I can’t ride a bike. Everyone knows how to swim,” Beca huffs. Her teeth start to chatter. “C-can we go b-back to y-your room?” She can see their dorm building now, and hurries up her pace. In her haste, she slips on a patch of ice and falls into a snowbank. Chloe, who had kept her balance, laughs lightly before helping Beca to her feet.

“Yeah. We should get you warmed up,” Chloe laughs, brushing the snow off of Beca’s coat and legs.

“H-how do you p-plan on doing th-that, Beale?” Beca challenges. Grinning, Chloe turns to kiss Beca. It lingers just a bit too long for such a public space, but Beca doesn’t care.

“Well, at first I was planning on hot cocoa and snuggling under a blanket near the fireplace while watching crappy TV,” Chloe whispers as they get into the lobby of the dorm building. Chloe’s roommate Melanie was just heading towards the elevator from the first floor common room and raised her eyebrow at Chloe.

“I guess I’ll find somewhere else to hang out,” she murmurs as she passes, changing course to go back out towards the common room. Chloe just giggles while Beca blushes, teeth still chattering. Her lips had started to turn blue in the cold but Chloe just pulled her into the elevator and smiled. Once alone in the car, Chloe attaches her lips to Beca’s neck.

“Chlo,” Beca breathes. Her eyes close and she pulls Chloe closer. “Chloe, there’s, um, other people in the b-building. W-wait ‘til we g-get in the room,” she stammers. Giggling, Chloe pulls back. She barely gives Beca a moment to catch her breath before commandeering her lips, smothering her. The only sound is that of their lips smacking noisily, but Beca can’t bother worrying about that now. She’s trying to memorize every part of Chloe’s mouth: the way it tastes, the bumps on the inner linings of her cheeks, the rough edges of her teeth and the way her tongue moves against Beca’s. There’s a certain taste, a fragrance to the encounter that makes Beca want to never stop, but the elevator makes that decision for her when it stops at their floor and Chloe backs off, yanking Beca by the hands towards her door. They’re giggling as they walk, high off the feeling of touching each other, and easily ignore the other girls in the hall. As Chloe puts the key in the lock, Beca runs her fingers through Chloe’s hair.

“Your roommate?” Beca breathes as they collapse into the room. Quickly, without talking, they shook off their wet clothes and boots until they were standing in their school uniforms. As she undressed, Beca glanced around the room; it looked different now. They had separated the beds so that Chloe’s- made perfectly, as always- was sitting in the far corner. Her pictures were more spread out, and Melanie’s half of the room was decorated as well. There were clothes on the floor and spilling out of the closets, but Chloe doesn’t mind that as she pushes Beca backwards, toward the bed.

“She won’t come back,” Chloe husks as Beca’s knees hit the mattress. Beca sits down on the bed, gazing up at Chloe. Both were breathing heavy. “Not until I tell her it’s okay.” Chloe moves to straddle Beca, sitting on her lap. She wraps her feet around Beca’s waist, pulling herself closer. Chloe sucks her lower lip into her mouth as she carefully begins to undo the buttons on Beca’s shirt.

“So, um,” Beca pants. Her mouth is suddenly very dry. “So, like, maybe you j-just don’t tell her to come back for a while?” She suggests as her shirt falls away. She shivers in the cold air, suddenly feeling very exposed.

“Yeah?” Chloe grins. She pushes Beca back, shifting her so that they’re laying on the bed, or rather, Beca is on her back and Chloe is sitting on her hips. Chloe traces one finger down Beca’s stomach, gliding over to the clasp on her skirt. “You sure?” Feeling confident, and a little desperate for Chloe’s warm hands on her skin, she shifts, shimmying the skirt and her thick tights down her legs.

Beca says nothing, letting her actions speak for her as she hastily pulls at Chloe’s shirt. She can hear the stitches ripping as a few buttons clatter to the floor; she’ll apologize later. Right now, Beca is too busy pulling Chloe down to meet her mouth, too focused on kissing her. Using every ounce of strength and coordination she has (plus about ten times more that she didn’t know she had in her), Beca spins them around so that she is on top of Chloe. She pulls back, using her teeth to pull Chloe’s bottom lip with her before letting go.

Hovering just above Chloe’s mouth, she whispers, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .......... Sorry?


	24. Discovering Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The much awaited update.... NSFW so be careful, kiddos ;D
> 
> Enjoy the smut!

**Chapter 24: Discovering Each Other**

  
  


Beca’s hands are shaking. 

“We should put some music on,”she says suddenly, standing. It’s awkward walking through Chloe’s room in only her bra and underwear. She had managed to get Chloe out of her skirt, down to a plain white bra and flowered underwear before her nerves got the better of her. “Music. That’s a good idea, right?”

“Beca,” Chloe whispers, suddenly right behind Beca. She wraps her arms around Beca’s torso, trapping her hands so she can’t keep fiddling with the damn music. “If we put loud music on, people will know what we’re doing. Or, if it gets too loud, someone might call campus security with noise complaints.”

“A-are you sure?” Beca asks. Chloe spins her around so they’re facing each other.

“It’s okay to be nervous.” Beca gulps. Her face is suddenly  _ very _ close to Chloe’s. And it’s not like they haven’t been close before, but it was inherently different this time. Maybe because they were both almost naked. Maybe because Beca was so painfully aware of what they were about to do. “I’m nervous too,” Chloe adds.

“I want to do this,” Beca affirms. Chloe bites her bottom lip, looking down at Beca’s body.

“So, can I take this off?” Chloe taps on the strap of Beca’s black bra. Beca closes her eyes, reaching back to unhook the bra, letting it fall down her arms. Before it even hits the floor, she turns, holding her arms in front of her chest. She moves to lay back on the bed, still covering herself. Chloe tuts, coming to sit in front of her.

“No, no, you don’t- don’t have to cover those up. You’re beautiful,” Chloe smiles gently, slowly pulling Beca’s wrists. When Beca doesn’t budge, still hiding herself, Chloe releases her. Though Chloe had happily taken her bra off for Beca on numerous occasions, Beca had never bared herself completely. Chloe figured it was simple bashful insecurity, instead opting to let Beca touch her and touch Beca over her bra. But now, she really wanted to  _ see _ her girlfriend. “Look, don’t be nervous. See, I have them, too.” Chloe took off her own bra, tossing it on the floor. 

Beca rolls her eyes, huffing in mock-frustration. Her cheeks are pink and she can’t look directly at Chloe when she says, “I know that. I’ve seen them.”

“And you’ve touched them,” Chloe adds. She grabs Beca’s wrists. “Wanna do that again?” Beca snorts, but lets Chloe guide her hands away from her chest. She rests one hand on Chloe’s hip, the other on her boob. Chloe lets out a whining giggle as Beca starts to knead the flesh. “Wait, wait, wait,” she says, and Beca stills.

“What?” Beca asks nervously. Chloe moves to straddle her again. Beca thinks Chloe quite likes being in this position over Beca. Chloe leans over her, pressing their bodies together and Beca squirms beneath her.

“I just want to… make you feel good first,” Chloe whispers. She runs her hands over either side of Beca’s ribcage. Beca whines, tangling her hands in the sheets. She closes her eyes and just feels how Chloe’s lips are all over her chest, leaving little marks. Teeth scrape against her skin followed quickly by a tongue.

“Chloe, what are- what are you doing?” Beca asks. Chloe, who had been tracing a torturously slow path down Beca’s collarbone, looked up with a smirk.

“Does it feel good?” She quirks an eyebrow. Beca nods hurriedly, her eyes finding Chloe’s. “Then shut up and let me keep going.” Beca groans, squirming, but she lets Chloe continue her path. Beca finds she doesn’t know what to do with her hands while Chloe is kissing her chest, slowly moving to attach her lips to each nipple, one at a time.

“Oh-oh-ohhhh,” Beca whimpers as Chloe’s teeth bite down, pulling on the hard mound before releasing it with a pop. Chloe grins up at her and moves to the other side. Beca finds she quite likes Chloe doing this. Her girlfriend’s hands ghost down her body, the touch just enough to make Beca writhe without doing anything to soothe her. Finally, Beca decides to put her hands on Chloe. One hand falls on her hip, pushing Chloe down onto Beca’s body. The other finds purchase on her ass, squeezing and kneading and touching. Chloe lets out a gasp before she shifts, her hips rolling, falling on Beca’s thigh. Beca’s hips buck up in return and she has to bite her lip to reign in her own sounds.

“Chloe, please?” Beca begs in a breathy, high pitched whisper. Chloe sits up just enough to make eye contact with Chloe. “Please, I need you to- to-” Words failed Beca and she grabbed Chloe’s hand, guiding it down between her legs.

“Becs- are you sure?” Chloe whispers. Beca nods eagerly. There’s a pressure building in her lower region and she thinks she might explode if something doesn’t fix it. “Okay.” Chloe moves her hands down, slowly sliding the underwear off of Beca. She lifts her hips to help Chloe shimmy it off. Part of Beca wants to pull a blanket over herself, cover herself in some way. But the other, louder part just wants Chloe to  _ touch her already. _

Lo and behold, Chloe does. Granted, it’s on her thigh but good  _ God _ does it do things to Beca. Her gentle, slender fingers push on the inside of Beca’s thigh, using her knee to guide Beca’s legs open. Beca bites her lip, closing her eyes as she can feel Chloe’s hand slowly moving up. When a single finger makes contact with her core, Beca throws her head back and lets out a low moan. Chloe quickly covers Beca’s mouth with her free hand while simultaneously continuing her ministrations.

“Shh, shh, Beca people will hear you.” Whimpering, Beca nodded in understanding. Smiling at her, Chloe continued with long, slow strokes. Beca bit her lip and Chloe removed her hand, quickly replacing it with her mouth. She kissed her quickly before pulling back and pressing her lips to the shell of Beca’s ear. Beca’s free hand tangles itself in Chloe’s hair.

“Do you like this, babe?” Chloe husks in Beca’s ear. Beca’s not usually one for ‘babe’ as a pet name (why would she like being infantilized?) but right now, it’s almost enough to send Beca over the edge. She nods, almost embarrassingly eager. “Yeah, I can tell you do. You’re so wet. Can I taste you?”

“Wh-what?” Beca asks, opening her eyes. She turns to look at Chloe who is smiling shyly from behind her hair.

“Can I… Taste you?” she repeats. Beca moans gutturally, unable to produce any intelligible sounds. She settles for an eager nod. Chloe’s smile is like sunshine. As Chloe shimmies down Beca’s body, continuing to pump and adding another finger, Beca groans and kicks her legs, aching for some kind of relief. To try and make herself be quieter, she grabs Chloe’s pillow and presses it over her mouth, glad that it muffles the sounds. When she feels Chloe’s tongue run over her entrance, Beca cries out into it. She starts bucking her hips, trying to find a release. 

“Oh my God,” Beca pants, removing the pillow. “Keep doing that, Chlo. Please, please, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Chloe pants from Beca’s waist. Hearing those words drives Beca insane and her squirming becomes more fervent. To help her along, Chloe grips Beca by the waist, pushing her and rocking her hips. Based on the high pitched keening coming from Beca, it was definitely helping.

Chloe knew that Beca couldn’t take much more of this, and she had to finish her off. Chloe quickened her pace, licking small circles around Beca’s clit and pumping faster with her fingers. After a few minutes of Beca’s gasping and murmurs, pulling Chloe’s hair when Chloe did something especially well, Chloe presses her tongue flat against Beca. When Beca comes, she lets out a long, throaty moan, her back arching off the bed. Chloe slows her movements, helping Beca ride out the high as long as she could. When she finally came down, crashing back on the bed, Beca was breathing like she had just run a marathon.

“Holy fuck,” she pants as Chloe pulls the pillow away.

“I know I’m good, but I didn’t know I was  _ holy _ ,” Chloe teases. Beca rolls her eyes as Chloe crawls up the bed to lie next to her. Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca, resting her head on Beca’s shoulder.

“You’re a weirdo,” Beca yawns.  _ God _ , she was tired. Who knew sex could be so exhausting? But Chloe was wide awake, squirming with desire. Having Beca literally come apart at her hand (and tongue- allowing her to taste it) had turned Chloe on so much that it is physically hurting her right now, but she couldn’t bring herself to disturb Beca.

“I love you,” Chloe whispers, shifting to kiss Beca’s cheek.

“I love you, too.” Beca rolls over  and positions herself above Chloe. She leans down to give her a proper kiss. “And now, it’s your turn.” High on her recent orgasm and feeling brave, she pulls on Chloe’s underwear until Chloe lifts her hips. Beca smirks and tosses it over her shoulder. Chloe can feel the trembling of Beca’s fingers as her girlfriend grabs her waist and kneads one of her boobs.

“Damn, Beca,” Chloe gasps. Beca commandeers her mouth with a kiss, swirling her tongue around inside her mouth. She tries to replicate what Chloe had done, stroking her girlfriend with one finger. Chloe gasps again and Beca swallows the sound. Circling Chloe’s clit with her thumb, Beca continues her ministrations, eventually adding a second finger. Chloe’s kisses are getting needier, more desperate the longer they go on. 

“Fu-uck,” she breaks off. Beca grins. It’s powerful, this feeling of control over Chloe. Her girlfriend is literally coming undone by her hand (well, her fingers). Beca can tell that Chloe is close, but doesn’t know how to make her finish.

“Chlo- what do I do?” she whispers. Chloe, who had thrown her head back, mouth open in a perfect ‘o’ with no sound coming out, whimpered and shook as she looked at Beca.

“M-my clit. Remember where I put my tongue o-on you?” Beca nods, cheeks flushing. “T-touch that.” Beca captures her lips in another kiss as her thumb finds the little bundle of nerves she was looking for. She twitches at it with her thumb while pumping in and out of her.

The effect on Chloe is immediate. She bites Beca’s lower lip and lets out a stuttered, garbled string of curses. As Beca presses down on her clit, Chloe finally comes, settling on Beca’s name. She stretches out the vowel and Beca has never heard her name sound so good. She thought she might come again from that sound alone. Beca slows down her touches, trying to help Chloe come down easy from the high. After a while, Beca pulls her finger out. Not knowing what to do with the wet stick mess on her fingers, she just holds her hand there for a minute.

“You should- should lick it clean,” Chloe pants, winking at Beca, who blushes. She wanted to come up with some snappy retort, but couldn’t manage anything in her flustered, exhausted state. So, she put the fingers in her mouth, licking the sticky liquid off of it. When her eyes pop out of her head and she moans, Chloe laughs. “Wow, glad you think I taste good,” she jokes. Beca is embarrassed but damn, she can’t even figure out how to describe the taste. Sweet and tangy and undeniably  _ Chloe _ . But it’s her new favorite flavor.

“Shut up, weirdo,” Beca yawns. She wraps herself around Chloe.

“Oho, the big bad Beca Mitchell likes to cuddle after sex,” Chloe grins. Beca goes to slap at her thigh, misjudging the way Chloe is squirming and accidentally smacks her ass. “Oh, and she spanks, too. Glad to know I got me a girl who can do both.” Huffing, Beca pulls away from Chloe.

“You’re so weird,” she grumbles as she turns over and pulls the blanket over herself.

“Aw, I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Chloe’s giggling as she runs a finger over her shoulders. “I’m a little chilly. Mind if I put my pajamas on?”

“Only if you let me borrow a pair of those flannel things. Where can I get a pair like this?” Beca jokes. Beca pulls her underwear back on, watching as Chloe fishes through her drawers. She tosses a bundle of red, black, blue and green flannel pajamas at her, a matching top and bottom. 

“Vermont,” Chloe shrugs. “There’s a store online. Look it up. Makes great stuff.” She pulls on a pair of blue and pink flannel pajamas and smiles at Beca. “We match!”

“You’re such a dweeb,” Beca yawns. Chloe climbs back into the bed, gesturing for Beca to join her. Once they settle in under the blankets, Chloe grabs her phone. She sends a quick text to her roommate, letting her know that she can come back if she needs to, and closes her eyes. They’re both asleep before Melanie even reads the text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be kind, I don't write smut often


	25. FInding the Words

**Chapter 25: Finding the Words**

  
  


Chloe wakes first, slowly. The sun is just starting to set beneath the clouds, painting the sky a brilliant orange and pink. When Chloe opens her eyes, the light is making shadows on the wall. Her arms are around Beca and her girlfriend has burrowed her way into the blankets and Chloe, her face shoved right up against Chloe’s chest. Their legs are intertwined and when Chloe stretches, Beca shifts to be closer to her. Beca’s breath comes in short little puffs, her mouth open just a little bit. Her cheeks are flushed from sleep and Chloe pushes a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

“Morning, sunshine,” Melanie grins in a whisper. Chloe rolls over to look at her. Beca whines, wrapping her arms around Chloe as she moves. “She’s a snuggly little koala.” Melanie gestures her chin at Beca, smirking.

“Yeah, but don’t… tell anyone. She’ll kill me,” Chloe laughs.

“Yeah? Well, I’ll kill you  _ both _ if her underwear ends up in my bed again.” Chloe blushes beet red.

“What do you mean?” Chloe whispers. She turns around, hoping Beca can’t hear this; she would be  _ mortified _ and probably never want to have sex again.

“Well, her underwear was flung onto my bed, and her bra is on the ground right there,” Melanie points out. “I really don’t mind that you’re a lesbian. You do you! Why should I care? And I don’t mind if you have your girlfriend over as long as you don’t mind I have my boyfriend over. But I really,  _ really _ don’t want you having sex on my bed!”

“It wasn’t on your bed!” Chloe hisses, feeling the blush spread to her ears. She sits up and one of Beca’s hands falls, the other staying in her lap. She holds Beca’s hand, squeezing it for a moment before putting it back on the bed and standing up. “It- it was on  _ my _ bed. I’m not a terrible roommate! But, like, I’m sorry about- well, you know. We just- and I- it must have landed on your bed when we-”

“Okay, too many details. Love you, Chlo, but I don’t need to hear about the mind-blowing sex you had with your girlfriend mere feet away from where  _ I _ would like to have mind-blowing sex with my boyfriend. Besides, I think you woke up your girl.” She points to where Beca is stirring. “I’m going to go to dinner. Aubrey came by earlier, looking for you. Later.” She grabs her jacket and hat and shuts the door behind her.When it slams, Beca jerks awake.

“Huh?” She props herself upon her elbows, looking around the room, blinking sleepily. Chloe smiles, coming to sit on the bed next to her. “Mmm, Chlo?” she murmurs.

“Wake up, Becs. It’s dinner time,” Chloe smiles gently, shaking her by the shoulder.

“No, I don’t wanna get up,” Beca whines. “It’s warm here and there’s snow outside.” She shifts on her side and glances up at Chloe sleepily through her eyelashes. “It’s too cold.”

“Come on, I’m starving. Didn’t we work up an appetite?” Chloe wiggles her eyebrows and Beca groans, burying her head in the pillow. “Aw, Becs, don’t be embarrassed.” Beca shifts until she sits up, playing with her fingers, unable to look Chloe in the eye.

“I- I- I’m, like, is it weird that I’m not? Like, not totally, um, I dunno…” Beca trails off nervously.

“You shouldn’t be. Because you? You were aca-awesome,” Chloe winks. She grabs Beca’s hand. “And we… Like, um, I don’t know, Beca! But that was great! And it… I love you. So much. And that was great.  _ You _ were great. So… Don’t… Be ashamed or anything.”

Beca beams, her cheeks turning pink. Chloe thinks she looks beautiful like this, eyes shining, grinning ear to ear. “I love you.” They’re just sitting there, smiling at each other. Basking in the afterglow of their first time. Loving the moment, loving each other. And then Beca’s stomach growled.

“Okay, so maybe we  _ can _ go get dinner.”

 

They end up only changing out of pajama pants. Chloe insists that in the winter,  _ everyone _ wears pajamas to dinner on cold, snowy nights. No one wants to get out of bed, but they come out of their dorm rooms and common rooms for food and classes, only when absolutely necessary. So, they come dressed in pajamas. According to Chloe, when temperatures drop below a certain point and the heaters can’t handle it, they can come to class out of uniform, if they even come to class at all. It makes Beca feel a little better when she arrives to find everyone else in gross, baggy sweatpants and sweatshirts, hair thrown up in buns. It makes her feel like she fits in with her yoga pants and flannel pajama shirt.

“Ooh, short stack got some, didn’t she?” Stacie grins when Beca passes by her table.

“Shut up, Stace,” she mutters, rolling her eyes. Stacie just cackles. Chloe hip checks her and they move on. Beca likes how easy things are, now. Like, like she and Chloe can just… be. They’ve seen each other-  _ all _ of each other- and now there’s nothing in the way. They are closer now, more comfortable. 

Dinner is quiet, composed, happy. They eat with friends, make idle chitchat, complain about the cold. Chloe stops talking and starts gesturing after her throat starts to ache. Beca’s mind races with words, thoughts, things she wants to say. Maybe when she gets back to her room, she’ll write it all down for her poem for English. Beca is just going up to clear her dishes when she’s cornered by Alice’s friend Amber. They’re behind a wall that separates the dining hall from the dish clearing area. Beca can’t see anyone else, and she’d bet no one can see her from here either.

“You should really be housed separately. You and your…  _ girlfriend _ are disgusting,” Amber hisses. She’s leading a pack of other kids all sporting glares and sneers.

“What is your problem, Amber?” Beca sighs.

“Everyone can see those hickies on your neck. You look like she attacked you.” Beca doesn’t know the name of the boy who yelled that.

“Why the hell do you care?” Beca repeats. She shifts, just wants to get back to her table with her friends.

“What you are is not natural. A man should be with a woman, and that’s it. My dad said people like you are going to hell,” Amber sneers. “You, and Chloe, and Stacie, and Aubrey. You’re all going to hell.”

“Unless I can help you out,” one boy offers. Beca thinks she recognizes him from one of her classes. Ben or Billy or something.

“Leave me alone,” Beca grunts, trying to push through the crowd. Amber shoves her back and her head slams against the wall.

“You’re going to hell, you abominable little whore,” Amber grunts, using her arm to hold Beca back. She blinks. What the  _ fuck _ is happening. “You may be going to hell, but you are not bringing us down with you.”

“Amber, incoming,” one boy warns. 

“Watching your  _ fucking _ back, Mitchell,” she says lowly, shoving Beca hard one more time before backing off. When Aubrey comes around the corner, the crowd disperses, acting like there was nothing wrong. Beca just fixes her hair, leaning against the wall.

“Everything alright, Beca?” she asks, waiting around until Amber and her friends are gone.

“It’s fine,” Beca says, clearing her throat. “It’s fine.”

“Amber’s not… doing her little conversion brigade thing?” Aubrey pushes. Beca shakes her head.

“No, I told you. It’s fine. Just… Don’t mention it to Chloe?” Beca winces even as she suggests it.

“You want me to lie to my best friend about people bullying her girlfriend?” Beca bites her lip, nodding hesitantly. “And let me guess, you want me to just neglect to tell her about the other bullying, too? The notes slipped under our door, the things in your backpack? You want me to not mention those, too?”

“You know about those?” Beca bites her lower lip.

“Of course I know. Because people did similar things to me. So, you need to figure it out because if I see any more, I’m going to find  _ someone _ in administration who cares and I will tell them. I’m not just going to watch this happen.”

“Okay,” Beca mumbles. She fiddles with her hands.

“Okay, glad we understand each other. Now, get back to your girlfriend. And fix your shirt because I can see those hickeys.” Aubrey smirks as Beca’s cheeks turn red. “If you bring Chloe back a cookie or something, she’ll forget you took so long over here.”

“Thanks,” Beca smiles gratefully, jogging back to get some dessert. Aubrey is right, and the little brownie effectively distracts Chloe enough that she basically leaves Beca alone for the rest of dinner, busying herself with other friends. It gives Beca the peace she needs to figure out the words and phrases buzzing around in her head. When Chloe drops her off at the dorm later, promising to meet up in the common room after Chloe’s mandatory floor meeting, Beca sat down at her desk to write everything down. Maybe this stupid poem project her dad assigned won’t be so hard after all.

 

“Beca. Beca. Becaaaa,” Chloe whines. “Let me see what you’re writing.” She had been hovering over Beca’s shoulder ever since she got there twenty minutes ago.

“No.” Beca has to hide her smile when she feels Chloe lunging toward her, grabbing at Beca’s notebook. Beca throws her body on top of it to keep the words secret.

“Beca,” Chloe says sternly.

“Chloe,” Beca mimics.

“Why won’t you show me?” Chloe pouts, stomping her feet as she flounces onto Beca’s bed. “You’re the worst.”

“It’s my assignment for English and it’ll be… more impactful if you don’t know what it says. Just… trust me.”

“They’re supposed to be like interacting with each other,” Chloe points out.

“I know. Yours will be read first. It’ll be more hopeful, like, yeah it’s forbidden love and that sucks and all. But, like, you know, maybe this time they can make it and all that crap. Optimistic, okay? And then, I respond. Okay?” Beca sighs, slamming her notebook shut. She turns around in her chair to raise an eyebrow at Chloe.

“You’re… like… the worst,” Chloe groans dramatically, falling back on the bed.

“So you’ve said,” Beca grins. She crawls up onto the bed, kissing Chloe. “But trust me, you’ll like it.” With that, she drops down, letting Chloe hold her close. Tracing patterns on skin, Beca lulls Chloe close to sleep. Chloe runs her fingers through Beca’s hair, pressing gentle kisses to her temple.

“I love you,” Chloe whispers.

“I love you, too.” Beca bites her lip, blushing just from thinking the words. “I-I had a lot of fun earlier… today. Maybe we could… do it again, sometime?”

“Absolutely,” Chloe smiles sleepily. “Hey, what are you doing over winter break?” Beca gets a sudden rush of bravery. Stupidity, too, probably. 

“Well, I was hoping… you?” she giggles. Chloe gasps, smacking her. “No, but seriously? My dad mentioned trying to visit my mom, and a Christmas dinner here at school. Other than that… Nothing.”

“Maybe… you could come visit me and my family,” she whispers.

“I’ll talk to my dad, see about getting some last minute flights.” Beca smiles, nuzzling into Chloe’s shoulder. She sits up to kiss Chloe properly, hoping to get to second base again, but entirely too tired to go all the way. Chloe is just starting to sit up and kiss her back when the door opens and Aubrey crashes into the room.

“Shared space,” she reminds them drily. “Do that somewhere else.” Beca falls back onto her bed, lying down and groaning. Chloe stands, leaning down to whisper in her ear. 

“Like, in my house over vacation?” She presses a kiss to Beca’s cheek before straightening and sauntering away, giving Aubrey a three-fingered wave as she goes. Aubrey waits a few moments after Chloe leaves before speaking.

“Let me guess; you two finally did it?”


	26. Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Christmas in November is really my style.

**Chapter 26: Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown**

  
  


Winter break arrived quietly, and the first semester ended in the same way. Beca kept waiting for the other shoe to drop with Amber and her threats, or Annalise in gym class. But neither ever came. Every day for class, Beca would change into her bathing suit and Annalise would do nothing. She was quickly improving in swimming since Chloe and a senior from the swim team, a friend of Stacie’s, was teaching her how to swim every evening after practice and no one could even tell she didn’t know how to swim. Beca handed in her poem without showing Chloe, despite her staunch protests. Chloe hated writing hers blind, but Beca told her the key points and Chloe’s poem was beautiful.

Christmas was a quiet affair for Beca in her dad’s on-campus apartment. It was barely a big enough apartment for the small, plastic tree they’d bought from a local convenience store. Beca got a few presents from her dad: a new pair of nicer headphones, a subscription to a music magazine, a new flannel and some money. It had been discussed that Beca could visit Chloe and her family for a few days during the new year after they visited her mother. It was the night before they were due to leave for the New England center where Beca’s mother was staying when Mr. Mitchell sat his daughter down.

“Dad, what’s wrong? Is something wrong with Mom?” she asked after five minutes of him glancing at her, sighing heavily, and fiddling with his hands.

“Oh, no, no, no,” he says quickly. “She’s fine. But we just, we have to cancel our trip to visit her.” He says it quickly, like he’s effectively ripping off a band-aid. Beca puckers up her eyebrow.

“What do you mean? Why can’t we go? Is she sick? Is something wrong? Oh my God, are you sick?” Beca tries to bite back her word-vomit to give him a chance to speak.

“No one is sick. Your mother just… She told her therapist, who told me, that she does not want to see us. They believe it will be detrimental to her rehabilitation, and she got really… upset when I tried to talk to her over the phone. We can’t go, not right now. So, I did some rearranging with the plane company, and I switched your tickets. Tomorrow morning you are flying to Tampa instead. You can stay with Chloe for the rest of vacation. I already cleared it with her parents.” Beca wonders idly how long he knew about this if he’s already done all this planning. But, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, she hugs her dad.

“That’s, like, almost two whole weeks. Thanks, dad!” She pulls away quickly before running to her room. She needs to call Chloe and completely change over her suitcase. Clothes packed for winter in New England are much different than clothes packed for winter in Florida.

 

“Okay, so, you’ll call when you get to your gate?” Mr. Mitchell asks.

“Yes, dad,” Beca sighs. Her cheeks are pink with embarrassment. They’re standing right next to the check-in line as he tries to say goodbye.

“And text me when you’re taking off?”

“Yes, dad.”

“And when you land?”

“ _ Yes _ , dad.” People around them are smiling, now. Listening. Beca is mortified.

“And when you find the Beales and get to their place?”

“Yes- dad, chill. I’ll be fine. Plus, I’ve got the number of airport security on speed dial, and the entirety of airport staff knows I’m flying as unaccompanied minor thanks to this stupid tag on all my stuff. I get pre-boarding, I get free food. I’ll be  _ fine _ , dad.” He laughs lightly, hugging her tightly.

“I love you, Becs.” Beca squirms in his arms before hugging him back. He finally drops his arms and she looks down, blushing.

“Love you, too, dad.” After one more hug and a kiss pressed into Beca’s hairline, she’s off joining the line. Checking into the airport. On her way to visit Chloe.

 

Beca decides she really hates planes.

She hates the crowded seating, the way the people next to her are constantly rubbing elbows, no matter how she sits. She hates the way her ears pop as they ascend. She hates the pressure in her chest as she tries to breathe once they’re up in the air. She hates how she isn’t allowed to pace around the aisle, or even move really. 

When she finally lands and gets off this metal death machine, she releases a huge breath. Waiting in line to get off, her foot starts to tap out a beat, and her hands make a rhythm on her thighs.

“Nervous?” someone laughs. Beca just grits her teeth and smiles, jostling forward to get out faster. Listening to the directions to get her to the baggage claim, she finds herself assaulted by a bundle of energy and curly red hair.

“Beca!” the squealing hurts her eardrums, but she holds Chloe tighter- because it can only be Chloe, with a voice so high and arms so muscular and hair so red.

“It’s barely been a week, Chlo,” Beca laughed. “Am I even past security yet? How did you get up here?” Looking around, she realized the security checkpoint is at the bottom of the stairs and Chloe would have needed a ticket to get up here.

“Sneaking up the stairs isn’t that hard,” she giggles in Beca’s ear, finally pulling away. She intertwines their fingers, still holding her close.Chloe nuzzles her nose into Beca’s neck. “Besides, I wanted a minute to say hi without my family hovering.” Smirking, Beca pulls her in for a kiss. Pulling away, she makes a face.

“Did you take your medicine thing right before kissing me?” Chloe nods sheepishly. Beca sticks her tongue out in mock disgust. “It always makes my mouth tingle.”

“How do you think I feel?” Chloe turns, pulling Beca down the stairs toward baggage claim, swinging their hands as they walk. Once they’re down the stairs, Beca sees the whole Beale family standing with a sign for her. It’s sparkly, and the bubbly handwriting can only be Chloe’s, bedecked in red and green Christmas pictures. 

“Merry Christmas, Beca. Or, happy Hannukah? Kwanzaa? Um… Saturnalia? I don’t know any other holidays around this time of year,” Mrs. Beale calls out happily, easily embracing Beca as she arrives.

“Uh, thanks, Mrs. B. I’m a Christmas person, sort of? But uh, thanks for checking. Um, and, like, thanks for taking me like this. Especially so last minute.” Beca awkwardly hugs her back, shaking Mr. Beale’s hand when she releases Beca. Iris waves awkwardly while Travis pulls her in for an even bigger hug, slapping her back several times.

“Oh, of course, dear. Your father explained. No one should have to spend the holidays alone,” she says sweetly. They’re moving over to the baggage claim now as an alarm buzzes and the conveyor belt starts moving. Beca describes her luggage to the entire family and Travis lunges for it when he sees it, nearly falling into a family on vacation. Apologizing profusely, the group makes their way towards the parking lot. Travis insists on carrying Beca’s bags, but Chloe offers to take one (“I mean, since you’re dating me, not my brother, I guess I should be the one to carry your stuff,” she had joked). Mrs. Beale waits until they’re all squished into the back two rows of the family’s SUV to start talking.

“So, girls, we should set some ground rules for this vacation,” she begins.

“Ugh,  _ mom _ ,” Chloe groans. Beca glances at her, smiling when she sees her cheeks turning pink. She mouths an apology at Beca.

“No, Chloe, we talked about this. We need ground rules if she’s staying here for the rest of vacation,” Mr. Beale explains. 

“I know, I know,” Chloe grumbles, crossing her arms. In the row behind them, Travis and Iris are snickering. 

“So, first things first: sleeping arrangements. One of you will be sleeping on the pull-out bed in Iris’ room. The other will be sleeping in Chloe’s bedroom. We are happy for you girls in your relationship, but you’re both underage, and we would feel more comfortable if you stayed in separate rooms,” Mrs. Beale begins.

“Oh, yeah of course,” Beca agrees, blushing. She and Chloe hadn’t had the time or privacy necessary to sleep together again- except for the times they had taken naps together in the common room.

“Good, glad we understand each other. Second: our house has a strict open door policy. For everyone. If Travis brings friends over and they go to his room, the door stays open. When Iris had that boy- what was his name, honey? Johnny? Jacob?”

“Whoa, whoa, a boy? You got a boyfriend, Iris?” Chloe practically howls, turning around to interrogate her blushing little sister. When she blushes and squirms in her seat, Iris looks remarkably like a blonde, younger version of Chloe.

“Not the point, Mom. He’s just- we were working on a  _ project,” _ she hisses.

“Oh, relax, honey. I never said he was your boyfriend. Anyway, the point is- the doors stay open in our house. Also, you girls can stay up late if you’re in the living room or another shared space, and so long as you don’t wake anyone else up. No drinking, drugs, wild parties. Chloe gets a chore list each day, just like Iris and Travis do. Beca, you don’t need to feel obligated to do any of those. If you get hungry, the fridge is always open. If you need anything specific- food, drinks, clothes, batteries,  _ anything _ \- just shoot me a text and we can try to stop on the way home from work. Um… am I missing anything, dear?” She touches her husband’s shoulder lightly.

“Uh… No?” He shrugs, pulling off towards another highway. Beca settles into her seat. She can live by those rules easily.

“How far away are we?” she whispers.

“Little over forty minutes?” Chloe shrugs. Beca grins, grabbing Chloe’s hand. They intertwine fingers, swinging their hands between the seats, relaxing for the rest of the ride. 

 

“Your house is like… Christmas suburban paradise,” Beca stage-whispers. As soon as they had pulled into the driveway, Beca had dropped her bag in the kitchen as Chloe grabbed her hand, promising to take her on the full tour of the house. 

It was a… Beca doesn’t know the term for it. It’s a two-floor house with lots of windows and big, spacious rooms, each decorated with a different Christmas color scheme. Chloe took her through to find Iris’ room, Travis’ room, the parents’ room, an upstairs living room, a downstairs living room, the modern upscale kitchen, the formal dining room, and even the game room downstairs- complete with a flat screen TV and a pool table- before finally bringing them up the stairs to an attic room.

“You live in the attic? Like a vampire?” Beca raises an eyebrow teasingly. Chloe shrugs, pulling down the ladder from the ceiling and smiling.

“It gets pretty stuffy in the spring and summer, but I have an air conditioning unit for the worst of it. And there’s really only one window, and it’s pretty small, and technically this is only supposed to be storage, but it’s cool. It’s awesome, actually. It’s a little bigger than the other rooms, and I have more privacy. It’s cool. I like it.” Beca climbs in carefully after her girlfriend, gaping at the room. 

_ A  _ little _ bigger? _ Beca thinks to herself.  _ It’s much bigger than any of the other bedrooms. _ It’s got lofted ceilings and exposed wooden beams. There’s a circular window at the peak of the roof that lets in the morning sun. White carpet tangles itself in between Beca’s toes as Chloe shyly shrugs, gesturing to the room. The bed is in the center, pressed against the wall and decorated with a colorfully patterned bedspread. There are pictures all over the place and little things left out- likely from Chloe packing for school in a rush- and there’s an unmistakable scent of  _ Chloe _ in the air. Beca loves it.

“This is… fantastic,” Beca grins goofily. She collapses back onto the bed, just gazing around wide-eyed, trying to take it all in. This is the room where Chloe might have been sitting at the desk, studying her words and her colors in kindergarten. Talking about boys and her friends all throughout the afternoons. Chloe’s memories are all about this room, this house. And it kind of blows Beca’s mind.

“Yeah?” Chloe calls, moving away from Beca and towards the wardrobe. Beca can hear a rustling noise but doesn’t pay much attention until Chloe is right back in her field of vision. Moving to stand in front of her, slowly pushing forward until she is straddling Beca’s lap. Beca’s not sure if it’s meant to be sexual or not because Chloe’s hands- which are normally spent touching Beca by this point in the straddling- are behind her back.

“Uh, yeah?” Beca murmurs, looking up at Chloe. “You sure seem comfy in this position. Is it your favorite?” Beca’s face reddens as she realized the sexual double entendre in the phrase, but she doesn’t say anything. Chloe just smiles.

“Yeah, I do like it. A lot. But that’s not what this-” she gestures between them with one finger- “is about.”

“Hmm?” Beca smiles bemusedly. Chloe nods. She pulls a little gold-wrapped box out from behind her back and pressed it into Beca’s chest.

“I’ve got a present for you.” Beca smirks, rolling her eyes slightly. “Merry Christmas.” And before Beca can even move to take the present, Chloe kisses her. Gently at first, tender and slow. It feels good, familiar. It’s only been about a week since Christmas break began, but Beca had found herself legitimately  _ missing _ Chloe. It was weird.

After a few minutes of slow and gentle, rediscovering each other, Beca takes the present and sets it aside on the bed. She wraps her arms around Chloe, pulling her closer while shifting back. Chloe’s hands move slowly, taking their time as they run up and down her sides. She feels cold fingertips playing with the edge of her t-shirt, slipping underneath it when she hears footsteps on the steps. Beca doesn’t react until a voice startles them apart.

“Dude, this is literally why mom and dad made the rules,” Travis snorts. Beca blushes, seeing him standing halfway up the ladder, his chin resting on the floor. 

“Shut up, dude,” Chloe groans. “I never do this when you have girls over.” Travis just shrugs.

“When you guys are done… doing your thing-” he makes a face- “Mom wants to bake a new batch of Christmas cookies since Beca didn’t get to do it yet.”

“Five minutes,” Chloe promises. “She just needs to open the present I got her.” She crawls off of Beca and hands her the present. Travis nods and disappears down the ladder. Beca smiled, opening the little box. Inside, she finds a small, silver locket. It’s oval-shaped and very simple. Beca runs her finger over the edge of it.

“It’s beautiful,” Beca whispers. Now her gift feels mediocre by comparison. Maybe she can find a way to make it a little better before giving it to her later tonight.

“It’s a locket,” Chloe giggles. “And while the outside is beautiful, they’re usually about what’s on the inside.” She taps the pendant and Beca feels stupid for forgetting that. Of course Chloe would have prepared and put something just as meaningful inside. Blushing, she opens it. The picture is small, but she can see it quite clearly. It was taken on the opening night of Beca’s show. She was still in costume makeup and her hair was curled, but she had changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants. Chloe had been dressed up, even gone so far as to bring Beca a bouquet of flowers. 

“It’s fantastic. I-I love you,” Beca stutters. “Help me put it on?” She turns, shuddering as Chloe’s fingers ghost over the back of her neck, fastening the clasp. 

“There,” Chloe beams. 

“Merry Christmas, Chlo,” Beca grins, turning around to kiss her girlfriend.

“Merry Christmas, Beca Mitchell.” They only hold each other for a moment more before climbing down the ladder, bumping each other with their hips as they walk down to the kitchen together.


	27. The Beale Family Holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays, friends! Sorry for the wait!

**Chapter 27: The Beale Family Holiday**

  
  


Beca felt like she was in a cheesy family Christmas movie. Everything with the Beale family seemed to be perfect. Even when the kids argued, it ended in apologies and giggles. While baking sugar cookies, they took pinches of flour and threw it at each other, but when Mrs. Beale discovered it, she didn’t berate them, she joined in. 

At night, they had a home-cooked three-course meal together. Beca was full by the time the cookies came out for dessert but forced herself to eat one for the hell of it. Over the dinner table, everyone talked about their days and what they were doing later in the week. The parents drank a glass of wine and the kids had water or soda. Beca felt like she was in an old 50’s sitcom as part of the nuclear family. Except for Chloe’s hand tracing patterns on her upper thigh beneath the tablecloth. Beca was pretty sure that didn’t happen too much in the 50s. After dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Beale retire to the living room. Iris heads to her bedroom to be angsty (according to Chloe) and Travis heads out to meet up with some friends. Chloe just grabs Beca’s hand.

“We’re going down to watch a movie or play some games or something. If you wanna join, you’re welcome,” she calls. Beca frowns as Chloe pulls her towards the basement.

“Can’t I change into pajamas?” Beca whines. “These clothes are so uncomfy.” Though the time difference is not drastic, a long day of traveling and the stress of last minute plan alterations has made Beca more than a little punch-drunk and sleepy.

“You’re literally wearing running shorts and a t-shirt,” Chloe laughs. Regardless, she changes direction and leads Beca up towards her room.

“Yeah, but your house has AC and I’m cold. Plus, I like sweatpants better,” Beca points out. As they climb the stairs, Beca starts to head towards Iris’ room but Chloe pulls her over to the ladder for her room. “Hey, I thought I was staying on Iris’ trundle bed?” Chloe smiles, kissing the furrow in Beca’s brow.

“No, I can’t subject you to that. I’m staying in my sister’s room and you can sleep in my room. You are the guest, after all.” Grinning, Chloe pulls down the ladder. “Now, go get comfy and we’ll go watch a movie.” Beca pouts.

“You’re not going to change? I’ll feel like a… a slob.” Beca’s statement is punctuated by a yawn. She stretches, mewling slightly and rubbing her knuckles into her eyes. Chloe has to bite her lip to stop from grinning so big.

“Fine, I guess I can change, too.” Chloe rolls her eyes, laughing as she follows Beca up the ladder and into the attic bedroom. They change on opposite sides of the room as Beca pulls on a pair of sweatpants and a Barden t-shirt her dad had given her when he’d first gotten the job. Beca changed in front of Chloe’s vanity, and when she finished, she stood there, admiring Chloe in the mirror. Her girlfriend had slipped off her shirt and was standing completely topless in just a pair of faded, fraying Barden shorts as she rummaged through her drawers in search of a shirt. In the mirror’s reflection, Beca admired the subtle ripple of her muscles, the shifting of her shoulders, the freckle on her right shoulder, and the dimples at the bottom of her spine. She bit her lower lip, wondering how the hell she got so lucky when Chloe turns, pulling on a tank top and catching Beca staring.

“Like what you see?” she teases. Beca blushes.

“Always,” she fires back. Chloe just giggles, heading down the ladder. Beca follows her. She always does.

 

“Hey, guys,” Travis smirks as he jumps down the stairs into the basement. Beca and Chloe spring apart at the sound of his voice. They hadn’t been doing anything- really, the hadn’t, Chloe was just teaching Beca pool. Okay, so maybe Chloe had been pressing up against her more than necessary, holding her hands to show Beca “how to hold the stick properly.” And maybe Chloe had been whispering some dirty, suggestive things in Beca’s ear. And maybe she had kissed her neck a little, maybe bitten the shell of her ear. But then Travis came and ruined everything.

“Hey Travis,” Chloe says, plastering a big fake grin on her face. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to see what  _ movie _ you were watching,” he teases. Beca wraps her arms around her middle, shifting behind the couch. Chloe squares off against Travis subtly, adjusting her stance and squaring her shoulders. The entire time, she remains smiling. Beca, always having been an only child, doesn’t really know what to make of this interaction.

“Oh, we haven’t picked one yet. Beca doesn’t like movies much, so I told her if I played a game with her, she’d watch a movie with me. She picked pool.” There’s a challenge in Chloe’s words, like she was a cowboy in some old black and white TV movie, staking her claim on the town.  _ “There ain’t room for the both of us,” _ she seems to be saying.

“Oh, cool. Maybe I can make some popcorn and join you?” He’s smirking, raising an eyebrow. From behind the corner, Beca watches like it’s a tennis match. Chloe scowls, crossing her arms over her chest. Travis just smiles, raising an eyebrow. Beca  _ really _ doesn’t understand sibling relationships.

“What’ll it take to get you to leave us alone?” she finally sighs.

“You take half my chores tomorrow. I want to go hang out with my friends but I can’t hang for long if I have all my chores.”  _ Oh. _ Beca understands now.

“What chores do you have?” Chloe narrows her eyes.

“Don’t know yet. But if you want me to leave you alone, you’ll take half my chore list tomorrow. The half  _ I _ give you,” he declares. Chloe groans indecisively. He moves to sit on the couch, making himself comfy next to Beca.

“Fine!” she exclaims in frustration. “Fine. I’ll take half your chores. But you  _ have _ to leave us alone and you can’t be sending Iris or Mom and Dad down here every few minutes.” 

“Deal,” he grins, extending his hand. “Pleasure doing business with you.” Chloe shakes his hand, scowling all the while. He bounces over, rustling Beca’s hair before taking the stairs three at a time. Chloe huffs angrily before settling into the spot on the couch next to Beca. The smaller brunette waits in silence for a few moments, chewing her nail beds waiting until it seems okay for her to speak.

“So,” Beca finally squeaks, drawing out the word until it no longer has any meaning. Chloe smiles over at her apologetically. “You really want to spend time with me, huh?” she attempts to tease but thinks it may come across as more mean or taunting.

“Sorry, Travis is just very stubborn. And he will do whatever it takes to fuck with me. Plus, I think the friends he wants to hang with tomorrow is actually his female friend. She’s in, like,  _ all _ of his snap chats and I can sense his desperation in trying to get her to date him.”

“So, he’ll butt in on your relationship if it helps  _ his _ ?” Beca frowns. Chloe just smiles, leaning her head into Beca’s shoulder.

“Apparently,” Chloe snickers. They just sit there like that for a while. Chloe sighs. “So, are we just going to watch a blank screen or…?” 

“I don’t like movies,” Beca whines. “They’re too predictable.”

“Who said anything about watching a movie?” Chloe purrs. Beca is about to question when Chloe gently grabs either side of her face, turning her head to capture her lips in a searing kiss. Beca shifts her body, turning and tucking one leg under her body. One hand holds onto Chloe’s shoulder, pulling her closer. The other rests on Chloe’s hip. Chloe’s hand cradles the back of Beca’s neck, the other wrapping around her waist. When Chloe squeezes Beca, making her let out a little moan, Beca jumps back. Chloe pouts.

“Dude!” Beca lets out a whispered shriek. She grabs the nearest pillow, holding it in front of her stomach to keep a safe distance between them. Her cheeks are flaming as she looks at Chloe. “Dude, your entire family is upstairs. We are  _ not _ having sex right now.” Chloe smirks, twirling one strand of hair around her finger.

“Wow, Becs, I didn’t even  _ mention _ sex. You really need to get your mind out of the gutter,” she sighs heavily. Beca sputters indignantly for a moment before Chloe bursts out laughing. “Okay, so I kinda just wanted to see what you’d do. But I couldn’t keep a straight face.”

“You’re the worst,” Beca huffs, sinking into her seat. 

“Aw, I’m sorry, babe. But, if it helps, my family is, like, all in bed. My mom’s always in bed by nine and my dad’s either passed out in front of the TV or also in bed. Iris always sits alone in her room blasting music through her headphones and Travis is either sneaking out to be with his friends, or he’s watching Netflix. There're two whole floors between us,” Chloe adds suggestively. She winks as Beca shakes her head vehemently.

“Dude, I can’t. I  _ can’t _ have sex while your parents are upstairs,” Beca insists. She scoots further away from her as if trying to protect herself from Chloe’s allure.

“Not even… making out? Like, like a little… French kissing? It’s like, a mandatory thing according to all movies about high schoolers.” Chloe leans forward seductively.

“ _ Chloe _ !” Beca’s cheeks are red and she throws the pillow at Chloe. Chloe laughs while Beca sobers. “No, dude, like, your parents have been so nice to me. Especially taking me last minute like this.” Chloe bites her lower lip, quickly sobering.

“Yeah, okay, so I guess I get that.” She flashes a cheeky grin holding out her hands to Beca, making grabby motions at her. “Can we at least cuddle and watch something on Netflix?” Without a word, Beca crawled over the couch to curl up into Chloe. While Chloe connected her laptop to the TV and browsed through shows, Beca traced patterns on the sliver of bare stomach revealed as Chloe’s t-shirt rode up. “Any preference?”

“Something good?” Beca sighs, yawning. She can practically feel Chloe rolling her eyes.

“Do you watch Supergirl?” Chloe asks. Beca shakes her head. “Well, it’s on my list of shows to start. Wanna watch with me?” 

“Sure, why not,” Beca sighs. They’re halfway through the first episode, watching Kara argue with her sister when Chloe pauses the episode. “Something wrong?” Beca queries, more than a little nervous. What’s so important that she’s stopping the show? It’s not a mediocre show, so it can’t be that she’s bored, and it has to be serious for Chloe to get out of her TV show groove.

“Can I ask… Why you’re here early? Like, I’m not complaining,” she says quickly. “But I just… All day yesterday my parents were talking about you and calling your dad back and forth and figuring things out. And, like, they just asked if it would be okay if you came early and I asked why and they wouldn’t tell me. They said it was personal, and I couldn’t ask you because it’d be rude. But, like, I’m really curious and I’ve been trying not to ask and if it would upset you to tell me, you don’t have to, I just… I just wanted to ask and I can’t pretend I haven’t been thinking about it anymore. So…” Chloe exhales shakily. “So, that’s that.” Beca hesitates, just taking a moment to absorb everything Chloe had just said.

“I… It’s not… that bad,” Beca finally says. She turns to better face Chloe, shifting in her place. “I don’t… Unless my dad isn’t telling me all of it. He just said… he called to confirm that we’re meeting up with my mom but that she requested not to see me or something? And I guess… she just didn’t want to see me? I don’t… I don’t know. It’s not that bad.” Beca shrugged, trying to remain blase. Chloe just pouts, leaning forward to wipe away the tears on Beca’s cheeks with her thumb. She rests her hands on Beca’s cheeks. She kisses the tip of her nose and Beca whimpers. “Why didn’t my mom wanna s-see me?” Beca hiccups softly.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay. You’re here with me, take a breath,” Chloe whispers soothingly. Her hands tremble gently as she rubs circles on Beca’s back. She can’t even begin to understand how to comfort her on this. What does she say about Beca’s mom not wanting to see her? It’ll be okay? It’s not important? It’s her fucking  _ mother _ \- of course it’s important, and Chloe sure as hell can’t guarantee anything will be fine. Beca sniffles for a moment longer before pulling back, wiping hastily at her cheeks and smiling at Chloe.

“I’m fine. I’m okay. She probably just… it’s not what’s best for her recovery right now. It’s fine. Now I get to spend more time with you,” Beca reassured, though it sounded more like she was trying to assure herself. “Can we put the show back on now?” Chloe nods, kissing Beca’s forehead and restarting the episode. They’re halfway through the second episode when Beca falls asleep on Chloe’s chest. Once she’s certain Beca’s asleep, Chloe puts on a Christmas Story. She knew Beca would get bored easily by the movie, but it was always her favorite. She fell asleep to the sounds of her favorite Christmas movie.


	28. Kinda Hot for Winter Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It may be winter but things sure are heating up at the Beale household...

**Chapter 28: Kinda Hot for Winter Break**

  
  


The next morning when Mrs. Beale comes downstairs and discovers the two girls had been there all night together, her reaction is immediate. She yelps first, waking the girls. Beca trips over herself, apologizing and practically crying as she jumped away from Chloe. Mrs. Beale just holds out a hand, shaking her head. Chloe bows her head fearfully, waiting for her mother to take a deep breath.

“Mrs. Beale, I-”

“Beca, shh,” Chloe shushes, cutting her off with a firm shake of her head. Beca bites on her thumbnail to keep from speaking. She wiggles her toes and stares determinedly down at the ground. 

“What happened?” Mrs. Beale asks. There’s an even keel to her voice, but the strain to keep calm is evident.

“We just fell asleep. We were watching Netflix and Beca fell asleep, so I put on the Hallmark Channel because they’ve got those Christmas movie marathons, see?” Chloe explains quickly, pointing to the TV where there are still crappy old Christmas movies playing. “We had just… fallen asleep. That’s all.”

“Chloe, we are happy for you and Beca. We are happy to host Beca for the rest of the vacation. But we made rules. It’s the first day, and you already broke one of those rules. What do you think we should do about this?”

“Please don’t send me back.” The words tumble out of Beca’s lips faster than she can stop them. She chews on her lower lip. It’s not that she doesn’t want to spend time with her dad, exactly. In fact, she’d love to just hang out with him over the next week. Maybe go see a movie or eat food not from the campus dining hall. Beca hasn’t spent time alone with her dad in years, and they were slowly beginning to rebuild their relationship. Unfortunately, during this break, Mr. Mitchell was spending a lot of time in meetings with school board members and grading paperwork. Whenever Beca asked about the meetings, he shut her down; she had a distinct feeling they were about her.

“Honey, it’s not that serious,” Mrs. Beale comforts her immediately. “I won’t send you back like a piece of luggage. But, we do need to talk about boundaries,” she adds sternly. Beca nods, biting her lower lip.

“It was a mistake, mom. I promise it won’t happen again,” Chloe jumps in.

“You’re right. It won’t. Chloe, you said you’ll be sleeping on the trundle bed in Iris’ room and Beca is in your room?” Chloe nods to confirm. Beca bites on the skin around her thumb. “Good, then I’ll be checking your rooms at midnight to make sure you’re where you’re supposed to be. I do  _ not _ want to find you’ve broken this rule again. If you do, there will be more serious consequences. As for now, you need to clean up this room before you can start your chores for today.”

“Yes, mom,” Chloe replies obediently.

“Yes, ma’am,” Beca squeaks. Mrs. Beale chuckles and pinches Beca’s cheek affectionately. 

“You can call me mom, if it’s easier. Or Amy. I’m comfortable with either.” Beca nods and Mrs. Beale heads back up the stairs. Halfway up, she pauses and shouts down to the girls, “I’m leaving for work in the next hour or so. Dad had to leave early.” Chloe nods in understanding and Beca starts to straighten up couch cushions. As soon as Mrs. Beale has left, Chloe wraps her arms around Beca from behind, kissing her cheek and holding her. Beca shakes out of her grip, cheeks burning.

“Dude, check your lady boner. Your mom  _ literally _ just caught us,” Beca snipes. Chloe giggles, running a thumb over Beca’s cheeks, pinching it gently.

“You’re cute,” is all Chloe says with a shrug before moving on. Beca just rolls her eyes.

 

That night, the girls are careful to follow the rules. After a full day of hanging around, exploring the town, and Beca watching Chloe do chores, they decide to play a game of pool against Iris and Travis. It’s eleven o’clock by the time Beca is insisting on retiring to Chloe’s room.

“I’m gonna take a shower and get to bed,” Beca maintained.

“Can I join you? Save water?” Chloe whispers, winking at Beca and shimmying.

“Dude!” Beca hisses.

“I’m kidding!” Chloe giggles. “But you’re such a nerd. My mom is asleep by now. She probably forgot she said she would check on us, and I doubt she’ll care as long as we’re not obvious about it.” Beca just shakes her head, climbing up the ladder to retrieve her towel.

“I’m getting my towel, taking a shower, and going to bed-  _ alone. _ You can do whatever,” Beca asserts, jabbing a finger towards Chloe as she whirls around on her heel. She turns to grab the towel and her shower things.

“Can I do you?” Chloe’s voice is so innocent, as if it were a completely fair question. Beca drops her shampoo bottle and Chloe  _ giggles _ . “You walked right into that one, Becs,” she laughs as Beca grabs her shampoo and storms out, cheeks red and ears burning as Chloe just laughs and follows her. “You did!” she insists. Beca gives her the middle finger as she slams the bathroom door on her. Rolling her eyes and chuckling to herself, Chloe changes into her pajamas and goes to settle herself on the extra bed in her little sister’s room.

 

On the morning of New Year’s Eve, Travis finally came around to collect on Chloe’s debts and make her do half of his chores. Apparently, his plans a few days ago with that girl had fallen through, so he decided that Chloe would take half of his chores another day- today, apparently. Chloe had groaned as he reassigned his chores.

“Why do I have to mow the lawn? It’s gonna take forever.  _ And _ you want me to clean the pool and wash the cars? This is insane!” Chloe whines.

“Hey, I left you guys alone that night,” Travis argues. “A deal is a deal. I’m doing my laundry, making my bed, cleaning the second floor bathrooms and dusting the living room. Later, sis. See you next year.” He disappears out the door, leaving a stewing Chloe.

“This is ridiculous. It’s going to take me all day to do these, and then we won’t be able to go to any parties because I’ll be all sweaty and gross and this is the  _ worst _ ,” she grumbles. Beca just laughs.

“Then let me help!” Beca had been offering every day to help Chloe with the chores. After all, if they finish the chores quickly, they can have more fun hanging out together all day. It just makes sense.

“You are a  _ guest _ ,” Chloe sighs, emphasizing each word. Chloe began moving around the kitchen, gathering the dishes to put in the dishwasher. Beca just smirks, rolling her eyes. She just followed behind Chloe, trying to help in any way she could.

 

“Almost done?” Beca teases. Chloe groans. Beca had spent most of her morning relaxing or working on her poem for English class while Chloe worked on her chores. Beca tried to make up for being so lazy by making sandwiches, forcing Chloe to sit down and eat lunch before starting on her next chore. Now, Chloe was trudging across the pool deck towards a little wooden shed.

“Two more. Gotta clean out the pool and the filter, then mow the lawn,” Chloe calls back.

“Ooh, maybe I’ll swim once the pool is clean,” Beca grins teasingly. Chloe shoots her a dark look. “If you let me help you, you’d be finished and swimming with me faster.”

“Go put on a bathing suit, Mitchell,” Chloe orders. Beca grins, wiggling her hips as she runs up to the bedroom to change.

 

Beca was grateful for the cool water of the pool, keeping her from bursting into flames.

Because if she thought Chloe was hot in general, just walking around, she was fucked. Chloe in a tank top and shorts, pushing the lawnmower all over the yard, hair thrown up in a loose bun, tendrils sticking to sweaty smears on her face, pulling up the tanktop to wipe at her face is hot enough to make Beca burst into flames.

She went about the task with a Posen-esque efficiency. The Beale backyard was rather large- practically twice the size of Beca’s entire family home and backyard growing up. But Chloe approached it in a geometric, precise manner. She went in straight lines, up and down the property, careful to cut every blade of grass. As Chloe completed a loop, she’d stop for a moment, pausing in the middle of the yard to wipe the sweat off her brow. Every time she stopped, she’d pull up the edge of her tank top, exposing her pale, defined abs. 

Beca found herself staring at Chloe, staring at that little patch of skin. Beca was remembering their one time together, the only time she’d really gotten an uninhibited look at Chloe’s body, but she had been too nervous and awkward to really appreciate it. But now, Beca was just sitting in the pool. Staring. Uninhibited. At that stupid little strip of skin every time Chloe felt the need to wipe the sweat off her face.

“Enjoying this? It’s like the beginning to a bad porno,” Chloe calls out. Beca startled. While she had been fantasizing, lost in her own world, about running her hands all over Chloe’s sweaty, pale skin, Chloe had leaned over the edge of the pool, close to her face.

“Uh- I don’t- what?” Beca splutters nervously. The water in the pool, once refreshing, can’t keep up with the full body blush Beca is currently sporting.

“Oh, you know. Those cheesy porn movies. Starts with a guy, like the landscaper? He gets all hot and sweaty doing manual labor and then the bored housewife starts flirting and they have hot sex. You didn’t see the resemblance to us?” Chloe teases, moving away from Beca, closer to the deep end of the pool. She rolls up the edges of her impossibly short running shorts and sitting on the edge of the pool, swilling her feet in the water, playfully splashing Beca.

“Is that why you kept lifting up your shirt for me? You want to have hot sex with me?” Beca quips. She floats out closer to Chloe, grabbing onto her ankle for support. Chloe giggles, biting her bottom lip as she tries to halfheartedly kick Beca away.

“Maybe,” Chloe sings. Her smile flickers for a moment and Beca is worried about her nodes hurting, but then Chloe splashes her, smiling again. Beca smirks, grabbing onto both of Chloe’s feet. She clutches them tight to her chest, using it to help her float. “Weirdo,” Chloe snorts. 

“Yeah, but I’m your weirdo,” she smiles. “Do you have your phone?” Chloe shakes her head. “Hold your breath.” Chloe raises an eyebrow in confusion as Beca holds tight to her legs and pushes off the wall with her feet, dragging Chloe into the water fully clothed. There’s a shriek of surprise as Chloe falls into the water. Beca releases her feet as Chloe kicks wildly. Beca panics for a moment and her chest hurts with the need to breathe but her feet can’t touch the floor and she’s flailing, trying to get back to the surface when two hands yank her up, coughing and spluttering.

“Breathe, Beca,” Chloe giggles. Her hair is plastered to her forehead and it looks less red, more like a dark brown now. Still coughing a little, Beca rolls her eyes. She’d been working hard, both in class and during the evenings on her own time, to become a better swimmer. But it was hard for her to unlearn the fear and distrust of the water and hone her swimming skills in such a short time.

“Can’t help it, Beale. You take my breath away,” Beca grumbles, smirking despite her best efforts. Chloe dips her mouth below the water, her cheeks swelling out like a chipmunk before rising up and spitting the water at Beca. “Ew! Dude, I changed my mind. You’re nasty!” Beca laughs, swimming away. But Chloe is easily the better swimmer, gliding up next to Beca effortlessly, grabbing her hands gently and kissing her on the cheek.

“And you love me anyway,” Chloe sighs. She pulls Beca over to the side of the pool, closer to the edge where both girls can touch the ground. “Right?” she asks, a little shyly. Fiercely, Beca pulls Chloe close to her body. The water sloshes around, splashing them.

“I love you.” Beca says it fervently, pressing her lips to Chloe’s. “I love you,” she repeats, drawing a trail of kisses down her jaw to her neck to her collarbone. She whispers the words into Chloe’s shoulder. And Beca doesn’t care that they’re out in her backyard, exposed. She doesn’t care that Iris or Travis could walk out into the backyard at any moment. She doesn’t care because Chloe is so  _ good _ to her. So  _ good _ and  _ sweet _ and  _ pure _ . She loves Beca wholeheartedly all the time, and works hard to make sure everyone is happy with her, and with their lives.

But Beca doesn’t know if anyone really checks on Chloe. Beca doesn’t think that people often thank the selfless redhead, or appreciate her. And knowing what Alice is like, Beca can only imagine how terrible it had been for Chloe all those years, giving everything to the Bellas just to get shit on by Alice and her friends. Sometimes, late at night when Chloe was missing the “Bella sisterhood” as she called it, Beca would ask for stories about her life in the Bellas. And they were terrible.

The older girls had mocked Chloe for her terrible eyesight and her silly black frame glasses. One rehearsal, they had pointed at her two braids and teasingly called her a “nerdy Pippi Longstocking” and continued laughing at her. Alice refused to give Chloe a solo because she felt Chloe’s “loser vibes” would destroy the credibility of the group in performances. Chloe was shoved in the back of the group, told she was worthless, but still continued to show up and give everything she had to those girls simply because she loved to sing. Beca didn’t understand how someone so beautiful and nice and sweet could be so undervalued.

So, Beca was taking this time, here, alone in the pool in the warmth of the afternoon, to show Chloe how much Beca appreciates her. How much Beca loves her. How much Beca worships her.

“Beca,” Chloe whimpers. “I… I love you.”

“I love you,” Beca repeats. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, but… my throat hurts and my sister’s home and I have neighbors so… not here?” Blushing, Beca pulls back. She walks backward and Chloe lets out a little noise when Beca drops her hands. 

“Okay, let’s go… Let’s go dry off and hang out inside? What are we doing for tonight?” Beca quickly moves to the stairs, grabbing her towel and trying to hide the embarrassed blush in her cheeks. Chloe follows quickly, shaking off some of the water droplets. She steals Beca’s towel playfully to dry herself off.

“Whatever you want,” Chloe whispers suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows. Beca just groans, hitting her with the towel.


	29. All Things Must End

**Chapter 29: All Things Must End**

  
  


New Year’s Eve ended up being pretty anticlimactic for the girls. Chloe didn’t really feel like trying to find a party since most of her friends were from Barden, and she barely remembered most of the kids from her hometown. They stayed home with Iris and watched the ball drop in the basement. Iris groaned when the girls kissed at midnight, but Chloe just stuck up her middle finger. Shortly after that, they ate ice cream and stayed up chatting until two in the morning when Beca finally fell asleep on the couch. Chloe left her there and went to sleep on the armchair across the room, leaving movies on in the background while Iris went up to her room.

 

Alas, all things must come to an end, and the girl’s blissful Christmas break ends all too soon. Beca and Chloe are packing their things onto the baggage check in the airport as the Beales say their goodbyes. Beca awkwardly embraced the family who had taken her in last minute, watching as Chloe teared up. 

“I’ll be flying up to see you when you get the surgery. I’ll come up and see you in no time. Okay? And I’ll call every night,” Mrs. Beale whispers fiercely. Beca steps back to give Chloe some privacy and awkwardly says her goodbyes to Travis and Iris.

“So, uh, thanks for, like, hanging out with me, or whatever,” Beca mumbles. Iris just snickers, rolling her eyes. Travis barks out a laugh, pulling Beca in for a hug and ruffling her hair.

“You weirdo. Take care of my sister or I’ll fly up to North Dakota just to kick your ass,” he mock-threatens. Beca knows by the glint in his eyes that the threat is at least semi-serious.

“Uh, yeah, I will,” Beca promises, her cheeks reddening. Why is this so awkward?

“No, but seriously, take care of her,” Iris adds, glancing back to where Chloe is hugging her dad goodbye, still sniffling softly. “She might not act like it, but this surgery terrifies her. And make sure she’s resting her voice enough. The medicine isn’t actually doing as much as she says it is, so force her to stop talking for a while. And let her know that it’s okay to be afraid of the surgery, but that everything should be fine. And if it isn’t, you’ll still be there.” Iris’s expression gets serious but softer as she gives Beca these instructions.

“Really?” Beca asks, worried that Chloe isn’t confiding in her.

“She had a nightmare one night that the surgery would cut her vocal cords and she wasn’t able to talk or sing at all. And she’s just kind of… always afraid people are going to ditch her. But I didn’t tell you any of this,” she whispers quickly as Chloe approaches. She gives her a brief, awkward hug. “Later, Beca,” she shrugs, pulling away.

“Call us when you land!” Mrs. Beale calls. 

“And text us before you take off,” Mr. Beale adds. Chloe shouts back her promises to do that as Beca steps through security first. Once both girls are through, they wave to the Beale family one more time before heading off towards their gate to find a seat.

 

“Drink more tea. It’s good for your throat,” Beca whispers. They’d been sitting in the airport for nearly an hour, thanks to the Beale family's insistence that they get there early. Chloe rolls her eyes. This is the third cup of tea Beca has bought her.

“You’re gonna make me pee with all this water, Becs,” Chloe whispers, rolling her eyes. “My throat is fine.”

“You sure?” Beca asks nervously. Chloe nods emphatically. “Well, someone’s gotta drink this. I hate this honey tea crap.” Chloe snorts, ignoring the way it sends a shooting pain through her throat. Grateful now for the soothing drink, she takes it from Beca’s hand.

“I hate traveling back to school,” Chloe whispers after a while, leaning her head onto Beca’s shoulder. They were due to start boarding soon.

“Do you usually travel by yourself?” Chloe nods.

“Once I turned, like, eleven they started putting me on flights as an unaccompanied minor. They couldn’t afford to keep flying back and forth for every school break. At first, it was really cool. I got to sit in a special hang out room with some other kids and a couple of flight attendants who took care of us. We got food and we watched TV and I got to board first. When I first started, I got to go into the cockpit if I wanted and I got food on the plane. After a while, it just got lonely,” Chloe sighed. She snuggled into Beca’s side. “Especially once I turned 16 and they stopped doing those things. So it was just me waiting for my plane all alone.”

“That does sound lonely,” Beca agrees. “Rest your voice,” she reminds her, twirling her fingers through Chloe’s hair. They’re just settling down when their names are called over the announcement system. Confused, they grab their duffle bags and head over to the desk.

“Um, hi, you called us?” Beca asks, pushing her and Chloe’s tickets and IDs over the desk. The man behind the desk nods and a woman behind him checks over them.

“We did,” he confirms. “We have bumped up your tickets to first class.”

“What? Why?” Chloe immediately asks.

“We accidentally overbooked coach seats. Unaccompanied minors are first in line to be bumped up into first class seating since it’s more isolated and boards first. You begin boarding in three minutes,” the woman explains briskly.

“Does it cost anything extra?” Chloe asks nervously.

“Nothing at all. Consider it a perk of flying Trans-American airlines,” the man grins brightly. He hands them freshly printed tickets and their IDs and the girls scurry off back towards the gate.

 

“I like first class,” Chloe murmurs sleepily. They were just about to take off and the cabin lights dimmed as the sun started to go down. The seats in first class were much larger and more spacious, set in rows of two rather than three. There was more space between the aisles and rows were staggered so that opposite Beca and Chloe, there was only empty space and the back of the row ahead. As soon as they’d gotten settled into their seats, Chloe had lifted the armrest separating the two seats. She drew up her legs underneath her and leaned into Beca’s side.

“Me too,” Beca nods. She spread the blanket over both of their laps, resting her head on top of Chloe’s. They’re asleep by the time the plane leaves the runway.

 

“So, did you join the mile-high club?” Stacie grins the next day when classes begin again. Beca rolls her eyes, trying to focus on her breakfast and finishing up her poem- to be handed in later that day.

“The what?” she asks around a mouthful of food.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Aubrey chastises as she slides into a seat next to Stacie at the table. Stacie raises an eyebrow but keeps her attention on Beca. Beca files away the way that Stacie’s cheeks redden as Aubrey shifts closer to her.

“You don’t know about the mile high club?” Stacie smirks at Beca. Aubrey blushes, rolling her eyes as she daintily cuts up her omelet. “You and Chloe didn’t get it on in the air?” Beca coughs, accidentally inhaling her cereal without chewing. She coughs, sputtering and choking for a moment before she can swallow properly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Beca hisses. She can see Chloe approaching with her daily fruit salad and yogurt. “On an- an airplane? There’s no privacy! What the hell?!” Chloe slides in next to her.

“What’s going on?” she asks. Aubrey just chuckles.

“Beca says you guys didn’t join the mile high club on your flight back here after vacation. I think she’s lying,” Stacie informs her. There’s a loud sigh. Stacie turns to find Alice and her crew standing behind their table, rolling their eyes. “Is there a problem, Rivers?” 

“Typical. All you dyke freaks are so hypersexual. It’s why nobody wants you here,” Amber sneers. Aubrey’s cheeks redden angrily.

“What is wrong with you?” Stacie asks. 

“Nothing’s wrong with me,” Amber laughs. “You guys are the unnatural ones. God didn’t put you here to be fucking each other like wild animals. Adam and Eve, not… Eve and Janine,” she stammers out after a moment.

“Your argument is so illogical and ridiculous, I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are before class starts,” Aubrey scoffs, shoving past them. She pauses, then turns back around. “Actually, it’s gonna bother me if I don’t.”

“Aubrey, don’t waste your breath on these jackasses. They’re not worth it,” Chloe whispers desperately, tugging on Aubrey’s sleeve.

“Aubrey, remember who’s in charge of the Bellas,” Alice says haughtily. She raises one eyebrow at Aubrey. Aubrey just clenches her jaw and grabs her bag, walking away. “See ya later, sluts,” Alice sings, walking away.

“Faggot freaks,” Amber coughs. Chloe’s eyes are watering and she doesn’t see the way Alice pulls sharply at Amber’s arm. She shoves away her mostly untouched meal and storms away.

“Beca,” Stacie hisses, grabbing her arm. “You guys need to watch your back. Especially you. I think Annalise and Amber are planning something.” Beca nods solemnly and grabs her bag, chasing after Chloe. She’s really getting sick of this shit. Her hands clench into fists as she runs. She almost wants Annalise to start something in gym class today just so she can have an excuse to start a fight.


	30. A Shakespearean Effort

**Chapter 30: A Shakespearean Effort**

  
  


Unfortunately, Beca didn’t get a chance to deal with her anger today since she had no classes with Annalise until the next day. Beca spent the whole morning stewing, snapping at teachers and being generally unpleasant until lunchtime. She and Chloe spent their hour break in Beca’s vacant bedroom, locked in a particularly ferocious kissing session that left Chloe’s chest and shoulders bruised and Beca’s hair mussed. They hadn’t gotten farther than hickeys and kisses, but Beca went to her next class much calmer. Stacie smirks knowingly, but Beca doesn’t particularly care. She feels better now.

 

“Good morning, and welcome back to AP English. I hope you all enjoyed your vacations?” After a general murmur of assent, Mr. Mitchell sighs, trying to rouse their energies. “Now, I know you can do better than that. Did anyone do anything particularly interesting? Maybe went skiing, hiked Mt. Everest, discovered a new element, fought a space alien, something?” A few kids chuckle at his antics as Mr. Mitchell bounds across the classroom. Beca’s cheeks burn at her dad’s theatrics. “Wake up, friends! We’re going to start giving presentations of our poem pairs. I read over them during the break, and I must say, there were some really good pieces. I’m excited to see them performed.”

The class groans.

“Ah, yeah, you all knew it was coming. Anyway, do I have any brave volunteers? Anyone willing to go first?” There’s an awkward silence. Chloe tries to catch Beca’s eye and smile, but Beca shakes her head. She  _ refuses _ to go first. It’s the principle of it all, really. “No one at all?” Mr. Mitchell prompts. Chloe clears her throat.

“We’ll go, sir.” Chloe stands, very clearly avoiding the daggers Beca is shooting her. Beca clambers after her girlfriend, clutching her notebook tightly. She and Chloe settled behind the two podiums dragged in for the presentations and Beca leaves her notebook on the desk, just in case she forgets. 

“Excellent!” Mr. Mitchell beams. He loves seeing Beca participate in class, even if Chloe has to drag her into it. “So, don’t tell us your poem topic. Just… go for it, and we’ll figure it out. Hopefully,” he teases. Beca smiles weakly, clenching her fists on the edges of the podium. 

Chloe clears her throat. She and Beca had changed the original plan, so that now Chloe’s poem would be read first and Beca’s would be the response. Mr. Mitchell had given Chloe an out, offered to let someone else read the poem or have Beca read both due to Chloe’s nodes, but she refused the opportunity. A few kids exchange glances as the two girls settle at the podiums. Beca fidgets much more, but Chloe does have much more experience performing in this manner; Beca usually performs as someone else, never as herself.

“Right, well, I’m going first then, I guess,” Chloe smiles. She glances at her copy of her poem before stepping in front of the podium. Beca is transfixed, watching as Chloe takes a deep breath, settles herself on her feet, squares her shoulders, and begins.

_ “You and I are not yin and yang. _

_ We are not like fire and water. _

_ We are both made of flame. _

_ We are far stronger together _

_ Than we could ever be apart. _

_ And the world abhors us for it. _ ” Beca sighs, leaning on one elbow to watch her girlfriend perform. 

_ “Stronger together _

_ But they do not want us strong. _

_ They want us weak, low and broken. _

_ But I will not let them.” _ A few kids sit up straighter. Some kids, who Beca knows have mocked them or said things behind their backs, squirm in their seats. 

_ “We are far too important _

_ Far too happy _

_ Far too loving _

_ Far too good  _

_ For them to divide us.” _ It takes Beca a moment to catch her breath when Chloe finishes. She had, of course, read the poem before Chloe submitted, but she had never heard it performed. She had never heard Chloe sound so passionate, so angry, so full of life. It made Beca want to stop, and applaud. It made her want to shine a spotlight on Chloe, throw her flowers, get down on her knees and praise her. Instead, Beca steps forward, grabbing Chloe’s wrist and turning her to face her.

_ “But you can’t fight fire with fire,” _ Beca begins and Chloe startles, unprepared for Stage-Beca’s performing skills to come out now.

_ Everything will burn. _

_ Maybe we are meant to burn. _

_ Fizzle out _

_ Like embers and ash. _

_ But the embers and ash are suffocating me. _

_ And I can’t breathe when I look at you. _

_ And I can’t breathe when they look at us _

_ Like we are scum. _

_ So maybe we need _

_ A little bit of water _

_ A little rain in this inferno. _

_ We’ve come too close  _

_ To the flames and I’ve decided… _

_ Maybe it’s time to step back. _

_ Before we both get burned.” _ Beca is heaving now, fighting back tears. She tries to catch Chloe’s eyes because she looks stricken, cheeks pink and unable to look at Beca, it seems. Beca tugs on her wrist, imploring Chloe to understand with her eyes. She wrote this when Annalise and Amber and Alice were being particularly terrible. When pictures were still being shoved under her door and into her backpack and locker. When slurs were being hurled at her wherever she went. When all of the bathroom stalls were vandalized with insults all targeted at her. She doesn’t mean this  _ now. _ Not  _ now _ , not after they’ve become so close (not after they’ve had sex, she thinks to herself). 

“Excellent,” Mr. Mitchell says after a moment, and the class begins to applaud. Beca moves to sit down in her seat again, cheeks warm from the applause and eyes shining with tears. “No, no, don’t sit down just yet. I want to talk about your poem. Can anyone guess the theme of their poem?”

“Gay,” someone coughs into their elbow. Beca’s cheeks flame and she zeroes in on the boy. She thought his name was Scott or Sam or something equally plain.

“Excuse me?” she asks.

“Mr. Johnson,” Mr. Mitchell says warningly. The boy just smirks at Beca, challenging her.

“It was just a cough,” he shrugs innocently. Her blood boils, and she wants to hit him. She can see it in her mind’s eye. She can feel the crunch of her bones against his nose, all of her anger and frustration and fear leaking out and powering the hit. It’s a satisfying daydream, but a gentle touch from Chloe keeps it from becoming a reality.

“Mr. Johnson, you can go to the office, thank you very much,” Mr. Mitchell dismisses, already writing up the disciplinary slip.

“What? For what?” he scoffs. “Because she’s your daughter?”

“Because our school does not condone intolerance and slurs like that. So, you can go to the office now, understand?” He hands him the copy of the note as he skulks by, carrying his bags and glaring at Beca and Chloe. Once the door slams behind him, he turns back to the class. “I think that was a pretty good segue. Girls, you did an excellent job. For anyone who couldn’t guess, their theme was forbidden love. As Mr. Johnson so kindly pointed out, some particular types of love are still considered forbidden, even in this day and age. I think you girls handled the subject well. You may sit down.” Beca plops in her chair as ungracefully as possible, tucking her chin into her chest and crossing her arms, chewing the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out of anger. “Would anyone like to go next?”

 

“I can’t even… I just… It makes me so  _ angry _ ,” Beca spits as they walk towards the pool. The swimming unit ended next week, and Beca could not be happier. She  _ hated _ walking back to her dorm with wet hair. “I hate how people are so… so…  _ stupid _ .”

“I know, babe,” Chloe whispers. She links arms with Beca and presses a chaste kiss to her cheek. “But you need to take a breath. It’s fine. You dad sent him to the office.”

“Yeah, to Meisner, who hates me!” Beca exploded, pulling away from Chloe in her anger. “So he’ll probably get a pat on the back and I’ll get a detention. I can’t even… God, this fucking sucks. I wish I didn’t have to worry about this,” she mutters, kicking at a chunk of ice in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Yeah, I could tell from your poem,” Chloe grumbled, ducking her head and picking up the pace.

“Whoa, you thought that was serious? I just… I wrote when I was upset, and it was better than anything I wrote when I wasn’t upset. Plus, it matches the themes and works better. Like… Chloe, what is this?” Beca stops pulling her to the side of the sidewalk. They were just about to enter the pool complex building and Chloe wouldn’t look at her. “Chlo?”

“I… I want to… What if you… Are you… I c-can’t… It h-hurts,” she whimpers, chest heaving with sobs. Beca doesn’t quite understand what’s going on right now. She just hugs her.

“Hey, hey, I’m here. I’m here, okay? I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, and it’s fine, and I’m not leaving, understand? No matter what happens, I am  _ not. Leaving. _ ” As she’s holding Chloe, she remembers what Iris had said. Chloe was terrified something would go wrong and Beca would leave. “I’m here, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

By the time Chloe has calmed down, class has started. They’re late and the teacher pulls them aside to talk about why when she notices Chloe’s red-rimmed eyes and the exhaustion on their faces. Beca explains the outburst from English and hinted how Chloe’s medical condition was affecting her emotionally and the teacher lets her go get dressed in her swimsuit with only a warning. Beca is grateful for the chance to change without worrying about Annalise and her cronies leering or giggling or plotting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poems... are not my forte. Forgive me


	31. Watch Your Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because apparently, Beca needs to watch her back.

**Chapter 31: Watch Your Back**

  
  


“Do you have a problem?” Beca growls. It was the last day of the swimming unit, and she couldn’t possibly be more excited. But Annalise was glaring at her as she shoved all of her things into a locker. Annalise just snorts.

“Not  _ my _ problem. Just… watch your back, bitch.” And with those cheerful words, she turns and heads out to the pool. Beca hates to admit that a shiver runs down her spine.

 

The next week, Beca finds a sheet of paper shoved under her door. Thankfully, she finds it before Aubrey comes home, having remembered her threat to bring them to the administration. Locking the door behind her, she unfolds it, finding a picture of her walking down the hallway. It’s of her back and the only reason she recognizes herself in the fuzzy, black and white photo is because she’s got her headphones on. Scribbled under the picture is an ominous message scribbled in thick black marker.

_ WATCH YOUR BACK, BITCH. WE ARE. _

Beca instinctively crumples it up, hoping it would quell the itchy feeling at the back of her neck. She’s about to throw it out when she considers what this might lead to. Beca has seen plenty of documentaries on bullying and how often the targets can never prove anything. On a whim, she tosses it in the back of her desk. Just in case.

 

“Please, Beca?” Chloe whimpers. “I… I miss you. I miss... touching you,” she pants. Beca fidgets nervously underneath her. They were on Beca’s bed, half-naked and tangled up in each other. Beca was always hesitant to go further, and Chloe was getting frustrated. Beca was just afraid to hurt her vocal cords so close to the node removal surgery (it was next month), but Chloe was  _ more _ than willing to take the chance. 

“Chlo, what if Aubrey-”

“Aubrey’s at the semi-finals with the Bellas. Overnight. Didn’t she tell you?” Chloe interrupts, grinding down on Beca, thoroughly distracting her as she talked. Beca was beginning to regret letting Chloe straddle her like this.

“I-I mean, probably? I don’t- like, I don’t listen to her a-a lot,” Beca huffs. Chloe pulls back, pouting at Beca. Beca finds it hard to believe, but she’s even more turned on now. 

“She’s my best friend and you don’t listen to her? You live together,” she whines. Beca huffs, rolling her eyes. She grabs Chloe by the back of her neck and pulls her down to kiss her. Pulling back just a bit, she smirks at her.

“Still wanna talk about Aubrey?” she croaked. Chloe shakes her head, moving down to reclaim Beca’s mouth. As Chloe moves down her body, leaving lipstick prints  _ everywhere _ , Beca finds herself forgetting all of the shit that’s been going on in her life recently.

 

Mr. Mitchell handed back the rubrics for their poems the first week in February. Everyone is envious when Chloe gets one of the top grades and Beca just awkwardly shoves hers back in her folder. Later that day, she shows Chloe the bright red 100 at the top of the page and the little note scribbled on the bottom,  _ I showed the department head the video of the performances to make sure this grade was justified. He agreed. You did fantastic. _

“That’s amazing!” Chloe gushes. Beca just blushes, shrugging. Chloe squeals, hugging her and showering her with kisses. It feels good. It feels right.

 

It all comes crashing down the next week. Beca comes back to her room to find another note under the floor, but Aubrey is holding it in her hand, jaw set in a hard line. Beca just bites her lip, seeing the harsh black scrawl through the paper.

“What the fuck is this?” Aubrey demands, shaking the paper at her. Beca just snatches it from her, her face blanching. It’s the picture Annalise had taken before Christmas break on the first day of the swimming unit. She’s screaming in the picture, her mouth open as her hands move to cover herself, but  _ everything _ is on display. Beca blushes furiously, crumpling it up before she even read the note on the bottom.

“N-nothing, it’s fine. It’s nothing,” Beca insists. She can’t look Aubrey in the eye. It feels like Aubrey is staring at her, undressing her with her eyes not in a sexual manner, but just to compare and judge.

“It is not  _ nothing. _ It’s threatening to send that around to everyone if you don’t break up with Chloe. This is serious, Beca. That’s, like, child porn,” Aubrey exclaims. “If you don’t do something, I will,” she promises. Beca’s cheeks are burning.

“Please, Bree, just… Don’t,” Beca begs. “Just… give me a chance to try and solve this, please?” Aubrey grinds her teeth.

“You better not be planning on solving this by breaking up with Chloe. Because I don’t give a shit, I  _ will _ murder you. And they’ll never find the body,” she swears. Beca gulps.

“N-no, not… I just want to try and talk to Annalise. Just… give me one chance?” Beca stammers, gripping the paper tighter in her hands. She hasn’t even had a chance to put her backpack down.

“Fine. But I swear, Mitchell, if you can’t end this, I will. This is not okay,” Aubrey says sternly. Beca nods, turning on her heel and leaving to go find Annalise’s room.

 

As she walks up the stairs to try and find Annalise’s room, Beca finds herself getting angrier and angrier. Who the  _ fuck _ does Annalise think she is? What gives her the  _ right _ to fuck with her life like this? Beca didn’t ask to be gay. She didn’t ask to fall for Chloe, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Isn’t it supposed to be the twenty-first century? Why is this still an issue? By the time Beca finds Annalise’s door at the end of the hallway, she’s pounding on the door so hard it might break.

“Can I help you, freak?” Annalise spits as she opens the door. Beca’s face is red and Annalise sneers at her. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” She laughs meanly as Beca fails to find her words. She just shoves the crumpled up paper at her. Annalise makes a face.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Beca finally growls. Annalise just shoves the picture back at her.

“I don’t want to see your nudes, perv,” she teases.

“I know this was you.” Annalise shrugs.

“Prove it. Your word against mine.” Beca lets out a closed-mouth scream. Annalise throws her head back laughing. “You’re such a  _ freak!” _

“What is wrong with you? Why are you like this?” Beca crumples up the paper again. “If you send this around, it’s, like, child pornography. It’s illegal,”  she points out. Annalise just shrugs, smirking. Beca has this insane desire to punch her.

“Not my problem.  _ I’m _ not sending it anywhere. But, whoever wrote that says you’ve only got until tomorrow, so… Chop chop!” She slams the door then. In her frustration, Beca kicks it, letting out another growling scream before stalking back down the stairs to her room. Aubrey raises an eyebrow when Beca slams their door and drops her backpack on the ground.

“Beca?” she asks, more concerned than her expression would let on.

“I don’t… We need to go to the administration, I think,” she mumbles quietly, head in her hands. Aubrey nods, standing. She gathers a few folders and Beca raises a confused eyebrow.

“I’ve been storing the evidence I could find. Let’s go now, before this gets worse, huh?” There’s a gentle quality to her voice that Beca hadn’t heard before. Beca nods, typing out a quick text to Chloe as she pulls a hat on. They’re walking down the hall when Aubrey’s phone chimes. She shoots Beca a confused look.

“Why did you email me?” 

“Um… I didn’t?” Puzzled, Aubrey opens the email and her eyes pop out of her head before they slam closed and she hands her the phone. 

“I think they moved up your deadline,” Aubrey squeaks. Beca is shaking. There’s no subject in the email, no text. Just a fullscreen picture of Beca in the shower, completely naked. Her jaw drops when she sees who else was cc’ed on this email.

“They sent it to the whole school,” she gasps, nearly falling to the floor. Oh,  _ fuck _ .


	32. Repercussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every action has repercussions, especially one as drastic as that.

**Chapter 32: Repercussions**

  
  


“Miss Mitchell, this  _ prank _ you’ve pulled, it’s not funny. The school board, parents, lower school students, all of your peers, and the entire faculty has seen this picture,” Mr. Meisner shouts. After the emails were sent out, Aubrey and Beca ran to the office only to find Mr. Meisner was also looking for Beca. Aubrey was forced to wait outside while he talked to Beca.

“But sir,” Beca squeaks, hoping the respectful title would help. “I didn’t send that!”

“It came from  _ your _ school registered email. Lying won’t help you, Miss Mitchell,” he says sternly.

“No! Mr. Meisner, someone must have hacked me! That’s what I was coming to talk to you about. I’ve been… Someone’s been threatening me. I’ve been getting these notes, and then today, there was one with this picture and a threat to send it around. I was just coming to talk to you about this when this happened. Please, you have to believe me,” Beca sobs. There’s a knock at the door.

“Sir, five more parents have called to complain. I’ve notified them that we’re investigating and action will be taken,” the secretary says tersely, glancing at Beca.

“Thank you, Nancy. But really, now is not the time to interrupt,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Uh, right, but we have another situation-” she’s interrupted by the door shoved open and Chloe squirms her way into the room, followed closely by Beca’s dad. 

“Mr. Meisner, I think I need a moment with my daughter,” he says sternly as Chloe wraps her arms around Beca.

“This wasn’t her!” Chloe insists. “Annalise Rivers has been bothering her. And Amber White. They’ve been really… really nasty.”

“This is my office! Not a circus,” Mr. Meisner barks. Beca jumps and Chloe squeezes her tighter. Mr. Mitchell puts a steadying hand on his daughter’s shoulder.

“Chloe, why don’t you go wait outside, hmm? And Mr. Meisner, we’re happy to go somewhere else for a moment, but I am going to have a word with my daughter,” he adds firmly. Mr. Meisner grumbles.

“Have it here, fine, fine. And Miss Beale, I’d like to talk to you about those serious accusations you’re making, so don’t go far,” he adds, lumbering out to the office to confer with his secretary. Chloe squeezes Beca’s hand one more time before going out and taking a seat next to Aubrey. Mr. Mitchell just stands awkwardly for a moment.

“H-how did you know to come here?” Beca sniffles, trying to stop crying.

“Faculty got the email,” he says. And Beca is  _ mortified _ because her dad saw it and all of her teachers saw it and  _ everyone _ saw it. “And your friend Aubrey seems to have begged Nancy to give me a call. Beca, what happened? Why didn’t you tell me what people were doing?” he adds, softer now. A fresh wave of tears takes over Beca and he grabs the box of tissues from Mr. Meisner’s desk. She takes them gratefully. After a moment, she answers.

“I didn't want… I thought I could  _ h-handle _ it,” she explains, her breath hitching. 

“Beca, I have to ask. What is this picture? How did they get onto your email? What happened here?” he asks, unable to look her directly in the eyes. Beca’s face is on fire, she’s certain, as she explains Annalise ripping off the curtain in the locker room. 

“And then, they all cornered me in the lunchroom and threatened me and someone must have figured out how to hack on to the system as me because Dad, I swear I didn’t do it. I wouldn’t- I couldn’t,” she insists.

“Okay, so we’ll talk to Mr. Meisner and get this all settled. And then, we’re bringing this to the police.” Beca whimpers sadly. “We have to, honey. They have the resources to trace this email.” Mr. Meisner knocks on the door now and comes to sit at his desk. Beca clutches her dad’s hand like a lifeline as they settle and the meeting begins. She recounts everything that had happened since she kissed Chloe in that closet all those months ago: every slur yelled her way, every note slipped under her door or in her backpack, every insult hissed at her in the locker rooms, and what Annalise had done in the locker room. He just sits, writing things down and nodding. His brow furrows deeper the longer she talks.

“These are serious accusations, Miss Mitchell,” he says after a beat.

“They’re true,” she insists with a quiet sniffle. Her dad just squeezes her hand.

“Okay,” Mr. Meisner nods briskly. “Well then, we have to call the school police officer down to take your daughter. This is… Far more than we can handle at the school level.” He sighs, picking up his desk phone to make the call. Beca just trembles, trying not to cry from anger, shame, and embarrassment. 

 

“So, why did you wait so long to report these incidents if they’ve been happening for months?” the officer asks. Beca glances out the office door to where Aubrey and Chloe are waiting, anxiously tapping their feet.

“I was… afraid it’d make things worse. Or that no one would take my word for it. I just… I was scared,” she admits quietly. The officer nods, scribbling something more down on his report. After a few minutes, he asks her to rewrite her statement and sign it, and then they let her go. Chloe and Aubrey were waiting for her, having given similar statements to another officer prior to this. They stand aside for a moment, giving Beca and her dad a moment of privacy.

“I believe you, okay?” he assures her. “I believe you. And I’m so sorry this was happening and I couldn’t stop it. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” Beca nods, wiping furiously at the tears. He hugs her.

“Next time, maybe you can tell me so I can help? You don’t have to do these things by yourself,” he adds. Beca wants to tell him that yes, she does. Or at least, she still feels like she does. Because when she was growing up with her mom, she had to do  _ everything _ alone. She had to make dinner and do the grocery shopping and do her homework and tuck herself into bed all alone. She took care of herself and, as the years went on, had to take care of her mother, too. She had to do it all and it was exhausting. So yes, maybe she did feel like she had to do this on her own.

“Okay, Dad,” is all she says. He releases her and she goes out only to be enveloped in hugs from Aubrey and Chloe and Stacie- who had just recently shown up.

“Guys,” she laughs. They just hold her tighter for a moment. When Aubrey and Stacie step back, Chloe only pulls back enough to rest her forehead on Beca’s.

“You are an  _ idiot _ ,” she whispers.

“Excuse me?” Beca laughs, pulling away. Chloe’s mouth hardens into a line.

“You’re an  _ idiot _ ,” Chloe repeats. She links arms with Beca and they begin to walk back towards the dorms. “Why didn’t you  _ tell me _ things were this bad? Why didn’t you tell me Annalise took pictures of you? Was this that first day in the swimming unit when you came out late and you were talking to Mrs. Turner?” Beca nods, her cheeks turning pink as they walk through the grounds. A few people stare at her. Some of the boys have the nerve to drag their eyes up and down her body, undressing her with their eyes. Beca pulls her hood up angrily. After a moment, she remembers Chloe asked her a question and thinks of a real response.

“It was just… I thought it was going away. I thought she just wanted to embarrass me and then it would go away, but it didn’t.” Aubrey and Stacie fall into step behind them.

“Beca,” Chloe sighed. “You can talk to me about these things. Especially when they involve me, too!”

“I know, I know,” Beca grumbles. Chloe starts steering them all towards the cafeteria. Beca tenses, but says nothing. It is almost dinner time, and she knows Chloe’s probably hungry. She is too, truth be told, but she really just wanted to go back to her room, curl up in a ball and eat snacks.

“Chloe, let’s just leave it be for now, hmm?” Aubrey suggests gently. As they walk into the main room, all conversation stops. It didn’t happen immediately, not like in the movies. First, a hushed whisper and fingers pointed their way. Then, the silence spread until suddenly, everyone was staring, and everyone was silent. Beca wants to do something dramatic. Say something defiant like the characters in a movie would. She wants to look at them and challenge, “what are you looking at?” Or maybe something clever about how they’ve already got the picture. But Beca’s mouth is stuck. 

In the end, it’s Stacie who did something. She grabbed Aubrey by the hand, dipped her dramatically and kissed her. It went on for a moment. Then that moment stretched into two, then Beca saw Aubrey gripping at Stacie’s arms and saw Stacie’s tongue in her mouth. And then that moment stretched into three into four into five long moments- probably only about fifteen seconds, realistically- before Stacie pulled away.

“Now they’ve got something else to talk about,” she shrugs, winking at Aubrey and sauntering away to find a table. The whole cafeteria explodes in whispered conversations.

 

“ _ Consent _ , Conrad. You can’t just- can’t just sweep a girl off her feet and kiss her without consent!” Aubrey hisses as they’re walking back to the dorms. People had still been staring throughout dinner and Beca rushed through, practically dragging them all back to the dorms. She and Chloe were hiding out in Aubrey and Beca’s room currently while Aubrey went to go hang out in Stacie’s room, giving the two younger girls some privacy.

“Swept you off your feet, did I Posen?” And Aubrey really hates her choice of words because now Stacie’s grinning at her like the cat that ate the canary and really, it’s rude. Because when Stacie smiles this big, her cheeks tighten and her mouth pulls so hard at the corners that the tiniest of dimples appear and Aubrey has  _ always _ been a sucker for girls with dimples.

“I never- I just meant- okay, well first of all-”

“Bree, aren’t you in  _ two _ AP English classes right now? You’d think they’d have taught you more,” Stacie interrupts, teasing. And when that dimple-creating smile turns into a smirk, well  _ fuck _ . Aubrey just pouts at her.

“You can’t deny that you quite literally dipped me and swept me off my feet. In a literal sense. Not in an emotional sense. Because that’s just- really, I mean, you know what my Dad says-”

“Posen?” And Aubrey sighs relieved that Stacie had interrupted her this time because she had  _ no clue _ where that was going.

“Hmm?” She hums, cheeks pink and eyes focused anywhere but Stacie’s face.

“I’d really like to kiss you again. And not as a distraction. But, a really smart girl I know once told me that consent is key, so-” This time, it’s Aubrey who interrupts her with her lips. And it feels  _ good _ to hear Stacie stop talking, just lean into her and sigh. Yeah, okay maybe Aubrey gets why Stacie interrupts her all the time.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Beca asks softly. As soon as they had come back here and shed their winter clothes, Beca had sat curled up in a ball on her bed while Chloe just stroked her hair. “For not telling you?” She clarifies.

“I’m upset,” Chloe says carefully. “I’m sad because you were dealing with this by yourself and I wish I could have helped. But no, I’m not mad.” Beca leans into her touch. Suddenly, she realizes it’s not enough. She needs to feel Chloe’s hands on her, to know that this terrible shit show of a day is not the end of her world. Wriggling around, Beca scrambles into Chloe’s lap, straddling her.

“I need you, Chlo,” she rasps, her voice suddenly lower. “I need you… to help me forget today. Please?” Chloe whimpers softly, hands reaching out to grab onto Beca’s hip, tangle in her hair. Beca kisses Chloe and thinks she begins to understand why Chloe always loves to straddle her so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that little side staubrey there ;D


	33. Have You Heard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have you heard about Beca? Or Chloe? Or Aubrey and Stacie?
> 
> Have you heard?

**Chapter 33: Have You Heard?**

  
  


“I heard it was meant to go to her girlfriend,” someone whispers. Another voice corrects them.

“No, it was a protest, I heard. They think the school’s policies are homophobic or something?”

“No, she didn’t even send the picture. Someone told me that someone hacked her email,” another voice adds. 

“Yeah, you can tell if you look at the picture. If you look, you can see it was taken in the pool locker rooms and it definitely looks like she was surprised.”

“Spend a lot of time looking at the picture?” someone teased.

“Enough about the stupid picture. Did you hear about Posen and Conrad? They’re _ official _ ,” someone else giggles. “Finally.”

“Ugh, another girl couple?” someone groans.

“I don’t know, they’re pretty cute together. And I had a hunch that their competitiveness was really just sexual tension,” someone shrugged.

And on and on and on and on it went. Over the next week, it felt like this was the only thing anyone talked about. The local police were struggling to get the proper warrants and permissions to access computer records, though they had found evidence to suggest that Beca’s email was hacked. Beca, meanwhile, just focused on keeping her head down and ignoring everyone. She wore baggy pants and jackets whenever possible as if it would make people forget what they’d seen.

And meanwhile, Aubrey and Stacie had indeed become ‘ _ official _ ’. They didn’t hold hands in the hallway and they didn’t kiss each other before classes. But they sat closer to each other during meal times and they could often be found studying and giggling together in the library. Whenever Beca went back to their shared room she felt the need to knock just in case- she had once caught them, two days after what Beca has decided to refer to as  _ the Dark Day _ , in a heated makeout session. Chloe was happy and Aubrey  _ certainly _ seemed happy and Stacie told Beca in great detail just how much  _ happier _ she was. But Beca wasn’t happy.

Oh, sure, she was happy for her friends. She was glad they pulled their heads out of their asses and got together, but she hated just about everything else in her life (besides Chloe). She hated going to classes because everyone whispered. She hated going to meals because people always seemed to ‘accidentally’ run into her or trip her. Wherever she went people were mocking her. She was sick of it.

“They’ll lose interest,” Chloe insists. But the very next day, the police came in with warrants and took the computers of Ambe, Annalise, and one other boy. And again it was the topic of every conversation. Beca just felt numb to it all.

 

“We have expelled the students involved and we want you to know that we apologize deeply for any trauma that occurred as a result of this… The incident,” Mr. Meisner sighed, fidgeting. The dean of the whole school sat to his side, nodding sagely.

“I’m glad the police were able to trace the email to the individuals. What are they doing to get it off the internet?” Mr. Mitchell asks, squeezing his daughter’s shoulder. She stiffens and crosses her arms over her chest, cheeks reddening.

“It’s the internet, Dad,” she whispers harshly. “It doesn’t just  _ go away _ . They can only do so much.”

“Unfortunately, sir, your daughter is correct. I've got my best tech agents working to scrub it clean from the internet as best as we can but it's like they say… once it's on the internet, it's out there forever,” the police officer says gruffly. He'd been in the meeting to inform the Mitchells about the criminal case against the kids. 

“And they'll be charged? This won't just go away?” Mr. Mitchell is, understandably, nervous about this process and it makes Beca feel… strange. Because if it was her Mom, she'd be freaking out by now. This was all of her mother’s fears come true and she wasn't even here to be vindicated in her lifelong paranoia. And now, her dad was here to fight for her. It was all just… strange for Beca. 

“This won’t just go away, Mr. Mitchell. We take the production and distribution of nude images of children  _ very _ seriously. The FBI is actually fighting for jurisdiction, as they do will all cases involving these types of- uh, these types of images,” the officer says.

“Can you do something to make people forget what they saw?” Beca grumbles. The cop softens his gaze a bit.

“Ah, no, we can’t make anyone… forget anything. We’re not, um, not the men in black, unfortunately,” he smiles weakly. Beca just bites her lower lip. “Right, but, uh… We are limiting who can see it. Luckily, since the school’s emails run on an internal server we were able to wipe it from there. We can’t… control what any of the recipients did. We’re working on tracing the email to see if anyone saved it and your face- only your face- is in a national database. If we get any hits, we can trace it back to whoever sent it. We’re doing everything we can.” Beca whimpers, her lower lip trembling. Why is this happening? This sounds like an episode of  _ Law and Order: SVU _ , not her life. 

“W-w-why is this h-happening?” She cries. The men on the other side of the desk just sit there uncomfortably. Beca’s dad just gets out of his chair to hug her. He just holds her for a moment, awkwardly leaning over the chair before he pulls back, leaving one hand on her shoulder. The other falls awkwardly to his side. 

“Beca, I don't know. I'm going to be honest. I don't really know what went through their heads. I know they're afraid of people like you- people who are different. And it's not bad- to be different, I mean. But, um… I know they must be idiots. And they're foolish and childish and have no real conception of how their actions have consequences. But I'm so sorry that's the only answer I can give you,” he says sincerely. Beca just nods, trying to calm her rapid breathing. 

“Okay, let's just get you relaxed and you can, uh, head on back to your dorm. No need to go back to, um, any practices or rehearsals or anything,” Mr. Meisner said gruffly, clearing his throat. Beca choked back a bitter laugh, wiping at her tears. 

“Thanks for all your help, Mr. Meisner,” she snorts. With a flourish, she grabs her coat and hat, all but slamming the doors behind her. She barely pauses to prepare for the cold before running out of the building. Beca can hear her dad calling for her but she just moves faster. 

The air is cold and the tears are freezing on her cheeks and in the corners of her eyes. The sidewalks are slushy and the salt cracks beneath her boots as she darts around the few people scurrying back and forth from buildings. Her lungs burn with exertion and the frigid air scalds her throat but it feels good to focus on this. She cuts across the snow-covered lawn to get to the dorm and she's practically galloping, her knees nearly touching her chest as she runs. Her feet slide on the tile floors and people yell for her to stop. It Beca continues sprinting until she's all the way up the stairs, down the hall and in her room. 

It's only once the door is closed and she's leaning her back against it, breathing hard and sweating through her coat, that she realizes she's still crying. So, of course, Beca does the most obvious and cliché thing possible. She sat on the floor, drew her knees to her chest, put her head down and cried until she was so exhausted she just crawled over to her bed and fell asleep. 

 

“Hey, babe,” Chloe murmurs, curling into Beca. When Beca hadn’t shown up for dinner or answered her texts Aubrey let Chloe into the dorm to find Beca still curled under her blankets. She still wore her school uniform and her eyes were rimmed in red, cheeks puffy and there were clear tear tracks. Beca was awake, just staring blankly at the wall when Chloe walked in.

“Hi,” she said.” Her voice is low and gravelly. Chloe comes to sit on the end of the bed. She reaches out to squeeze Beca’s foot.

“You okay?” Beca shakes her head. “What happened?” Chloe moves closer on the bed, shedding her coat and shoes. Sitting cross-legged, she watches Beca and waits for her to speak.

“You’ve probably heard… the police officially charged Amber and those guys for what they did,” Beca finally croaks. Chloe nods. “I just… That’s good. But the… The police were there and they said they can only do so much about getting the picture off the internet and… I’m in a  _ national database _ for child porn! It’s just… It’s…”

“A lot?” Chloe suggests. Beca nods. “Okay,” she nods. “Do you… What can I do?”

“Can you… just stay with me?” Beca’s voice sounds small and unsure. Chloe nods, smiling. She comes to lay beside Beca, brushing her hair back behind her hair. Beca leans into the touch, turning to face Chloe. 

“I’m here for you, Becs,” she whispers. Beca just shuffles closer to her. She leans her forehead against Chloe’s chest, snuggling into her. Chloe is above the blankets while Beca is tucked in below but they’re still wrapped around each other. They stay that way for a while before Aubrey returns and they all start to work on their homework.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just remember that everything I know about the law and legal system comes from Google and crime shows.


	34. February Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca vaguely remembers her dad taking her to a natural history museum when she was a kid. Beca remembers being bored out of her mind- at least at the science museum she could touch stuff but this was boring. And when her dad took her into the exhibit with all the bugs, Beca cried. Because all of the bugs were dead, pinned down and under harsh lights while people stared at them. She’d felt bad for them and made her dad leave the room. Now Beca felt like one of those damn bugs.

**Chapter 34: February Break**

  
  


Thankfully, February comes quickly, bringing a vacation with it. Beca hopes that after a week at home people will find something else to talk about. She spends her days counting down the seconds until the campus clears out and people can just  _ stop gawking at her _ . Beca spent her days walking through the halls, head down and headphones in just to avoid the stares. She vaguely remembers her dad taking her to a natural history museum when she was a kid. Beca remembers being bored out of her mind- at least at the science museum she could  _ touch the stuff _ but this was boring. And when her dad took her into the exhibit with all the bugs, Beca cried. Because all of the bugs were dead, pinned down and under harsh lights while people stared at them. She’d felt bad for them and made her dad leave the room. Now Beca felt like one of those damn bugs.

Two days after Amber, Annalise and Adam (Stacie had already made a pun about the alliteration) had been arrested the school held a big meeting. All of the lower school and upper school kids sat in the gymnasium while various speakers talked about the importance of acceptance and the dangers of bullying. They even had the pastor from the school chapel come and preach with Bible verses about God’s love and acceptance.

Beca tried to keep her head down and just blend in but she knew everyone was watching her. Some tried to be discreet and most weren’t malicious. A few were sympathetic, a few pitying but most were just curious. Of course, Beca was also sat amongst Chloe and Stacie and Aubrey, so really they could have been looking at any of them. Beca snorted, internally comparing them to zoo animals.

_ Homo sapiens lesbians, _ the sign would read, she’d decided.  _ Please, don’t feed the lesbians. They’re on a strict diet composed of each other. _ Beca tried to cover her snort by coughing but Chloe raised a curious eyebrow. Beca just shook her head, smirking as she tried to refocus on the assembly.

 

Of course, Chloe wasn’t quite looking forward to the break. 

“She’s terrified about her nodes removal surgery and you are absolutely  _ failing _ at comforting her,” Aubrey lectured her one evening. “Singing is, like, Chloe’s whole life. If something goes wrong with this surgery, she’ll be so upset. And Beca, I get it. You’re dealing with a lot right now but you can’t just ignore her needs.”

“I didn’t- I just… Like, I know. I’ll be better,” Beca whispered.

“You’d better,” Aubrey said sternly before going back to her homework. Beca made good on her promise the next day when they met in the library to do homework.

“Hey babe, how was your day? Anyone staring? Anyone say anything? Who do I have to beat up?” Chloe jokes weakly. Beca notes the strain on her face as she winces, hands fluttering to her neck. 

“I’m fine,” Beca says softly. Taking Chloe’s hand she leads her to a secluded study carrel in the back of the library. She’d arrived early and had set up space with a warm mug of tea for Chloe and a pile of blankets for them to make a study cocoon. Chloe just smiled softly, squeezing Beca’s hand.

“What is this?” she whispers. Beca kisses her cheek, pulling her down to the floor where they made themselves comfortable. Chloe sipped at the tea, holding the mug close to her to make up for the frigid air outside.

“I realized… I have not been fair to you lately. I’ve had a lot going on, but that’s no excuse. I… We’ve been so focused on me and my… issues that I’ve kind of… forgotten about what you need. And I know you’re, like, probably worried about your upcoming surgery but I want you to know we can talk about it as much or as little as you want. And anything about your day! This is… a relationship is like, a two-way street? It’s a give and take and all those other stupid cliches. So this is… It’s me apologizing for being a shitty girlfriend,” Beca says quickly, unable to hold Chloe’s gaze for more than a few seconds. She’s staring at her hands when Chloe kisses her cheek.

“Thank you,” she whispers. Beca grins.

“Anything for you, Beale.”

“Careful now, Mitchell. Someone might think our school’s resident badass is going soft,” Chloe teases. Beca just grunts, settling in to do homework. Even if Chloe doesn’t seem to want to talk about it, she seems lighter, her smiles easier. Beca decided to let the subject drop and focus on their homework. Break would be coming soon enough and this stress will be put in the past.

 

“You’ll be fine. The odds are in your favor,” Aubrey reminds her, hands braced on her shoulders. Chloe’s operation was scheduled for the Friday morning before break officially started. Her mother had flown up to take Chloe to the operation and stay with her for the next few days. Aubrey and Chloe were just saying goodbye before they had to go to class.

“But you know there’s always outliers,” Chloe winces. Beca stands awkwardly off to the side, playing with a loose thread on her skirt while Aubrey gives Chloe a stern look.

“Chloe Beale, you are not an outlier in this situation. You are a wonderful girl and this doctor is the best of the best. You are going to be fine. Do you hear me? You will be fine and you will rest your voice and then it will be amazing, okay?” Beca nods along encouragingly, not that Chloe is even looking at her.

“Really?” Chloe squeaks. When she looks up at Aubrey, Beca can see the tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.

“Well, you know that no one can guarantee anything,” Aubrey clucks, winking at Chloe. “But if I were a betting woman- and you know I’m not because I’m an excellent mathematician and I’d be using my knowledge of statistics and probability to cheat my way to the top and that’s immoral- I’d bet that you come out of this with your same vocal range, but even  _ better _ .” And Beca isn’t sure what she said but now Chloe is laughing, wiping at her eyes as Aubrey pulls her into a tight hug. She kisses her cheek and transfers Chloe’s hands to Beca’s before going over to talk to Mrs. Beale. Beca just intertwines their fingers, smiling shyly.

“I don’t really know how to follow that,” Beca admits, blushing and toeing the ground. Chloe rolls her eyes, hugging her.

“It’s not a competition, you dork. Like, you’re just saying goodbye to me before I go lose my voice forever,” Chloe teases and starts to pull back but her voice wobbles at the end of the statement, making Beca pull her back in for a tighter hug.

“It’ll… Um, I’m here. I don’t really… I can’t like guarantee it will go perfectly, but I want you to know that, like… I’m here. Whether it goes great or just good or even if- and this is  _ unlikely _ -” Beca assures her, “but if something does happen, I’ll be here. So, don’t panic. Because we’ll get through this.” Chloe is beaming at her now, tears falling.

“Aw, my little softy,” Chloe mumbles into her shoulder, pulling Beca into a tight hug. She’s clawing for purchase on Beca’s shirt, shaking slightly.

“Hey, hey, hey now. What- what did I do?” Beca whispers, hugging her back just as tight.

“I just… I really love you,” Chloe sniffles. Beca pulls back and kisses Chloe’s cheek.

“I love you too, dork. Now go, before you’re late! It’ll be fine. And I’m here,” she whispers. She hugs Chloe one more time before pulling away and taking her by the hand, leading her over to her mother.

“Ready, honey?” Mrs. Beale asked, her voice soft and gentle. Chloe nodded, glancing at Beca and hugging her once more before she goes to hug Aubrey again, finally settling at her mother’s side, leaning into her. “Alright, I’ll let you girls know once she wakes up. Bye,” she calls. Chloe’s shoulders are hunched as she walks to her mother’s car, waving sadly as the car pulled away. Aubrey and Beca stand there watching her leave for a moment.

“We’d better go before we’re late,” Aubrey finally says. Beca nods mutely, following Aubrey.

 

The day passed slowly after that.

Almost every one of Beca’s teachers had to ask her to put her phone away; she was obsessively checking it, waiting for a text from Mrs. Beale. She was watching the clock, trying to figure out how long it would be before Chloe was awake and texting her. By the time gym class rolled around, Beca was practically crawling out of her skin. It didn’t help that she was accustomed to seeing Chloe during this time and was now feeling her absence even more.

“Heads up, Mitchell!” Mrs. Miller, the gym teacher, shouted. Beca startled, realizing the basketball had been passed to her. She managed to raise her hands in time, hitting the ball away. Her teammates groaned as the other people managed to grab it and run down the court. “I know it’s last period before the break, but try and keep your head in the game a bit more, Mitchell,” she shouts. Beca just blushes, making a bit more of an effort. No one ever passed the ball to her again.

 

“How long is it supposed to take?” Beca whines to Stacie. Aubrey had left right after classes in order to catch her plane back home. Stacie, meanwhile, wasn’t leaving until the next morning and would be staying with Beca in her dad’s on-campus house for the night. They were in Stacie’s room now, packing up the last of her things.

“Patience, Mitchell. Perfection takes time, and all that jazz,” Stacie smiles as she throws her dirty clothes in a laundry bag. 

“I can’t,” Beca whines. Stacie just squeezes her shoulder. She’d be stressed too if it were Aubrey. Not to say that she’s not worried about Chloe, just obviously not as much as Beca is.

“Well, a watched pot never boils so…” Stacie drawls, plucking Beca’s phone out of her hands.

“Hey!” Stacie holds it high, snickering while Beca jumps. She grabs onto Stacie in an attempt to either pull Stacie down or use her as a springboard to launch herself higher. Either way, it doesn’t work. Stacie is just laughing, holding the phone as high. Beca is whining and complaining but still laughing. It’s nice; she’s finally managed to calm down and stop the all-consuming worry about Chloe.

When Stacie feels the phone vibrate, chiming with a text, she stops, eyes widening comically.

“Is it-?” Beca whispers.

“It is-” Stacie interrupts.

“Chloe’s mom?”

“Well, no technically-”

“Right, like Chloe’s phone but-”

“But it’s her mom texting. Okay, right, I get it.”

“Can I, uh, can I have it?” Beca stammers nervously.

“Oh, yeah, here.” Stacie drops the phone into Beca’s waiting hands. Beca nervously skitters away to open the text. Beaming, she turns back to Stacie.

“She’s awake! I can visit her in their hotel room tomorrow!” Stacie smiles. She wants to tease Beca for the way she’s basically bouncing on her toes, so excited she can’t seem to stand still. At the same time, she can’t fault Beca (plus, it’s kind of cute).

“Amazing,” Stacie agrees. “But I need to finish packing if we expect to get dinner out in town with your dad.” Grinning, Beca replies quickly before coming back to help Stacie finish packing her things, humming all the while.


	35. Silence Will Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca goes to visit Chloe after the nodes removal.

**Chapter 35: Silence Will Fall**

 

“Are you sure you’re good? You don’t need a hand with your luggage or anything?” Mr. Mitchell offered kindly. They were dropping off Stacie at the airport on their way to go visit Chloe, standing on the sidewalk as Stacie insisted she was fine from here.

“No, I only have these two bags. I’m only going home for a week. Plus, if you wanna walk in with me, you’ll have to park and that’s, like, too much hassle. Thanks for letting me stay and, like, taking me here and stuff,” Stacie smiles. She hitches her carry-on higher onto her shoulder.

“Alright, if you’re sure,” he sighs. Beca jumps out the car quickly to hug Stacie. She tucks her head under Stacie’s chin, nuzzling closer. Stacie hummed in surprise before squeezing her tighter. Clearing her throat, Beca steps back.

“You’ll be fine, dork. Spend some time with Chloe, make sure she doesn’t talk. Or make any  _ other _ noises,” Stacie whispers, waggling her eyebrows. Beca blushes, hitting her but Stacie just laughs. “I’ll be back in a week. You’ll barely even have time to miss me.”

“You know… You’re kind of, like… You’re my best friend who’s- who’s- who’s not Chloe, y’know?” Beca shrugs awkwardly.

“Awww, Becs,” Stacie coos, pinching her cheek. Beca swats her hand away.

“Weirdo,” Beca huffs. “Just… don’t do anything stupid. I’ll see you in a week.” Stacie hugs her one more time, playfully ruffling Beca’s hair before heading into the airport, tugging her suitcase behind her. Beca waits until the automatic doors slide closed behind her before she gets back in the car.

“Ready to go see Chloe?” her dad asks, smiling at her. Beca nods tersely, fiddling with her hands. “Alright, let’s head out.” He pulls out of the drop-off lane and gets back onto the highway. Beca just turns up the radio.

 

“Ah, Warren, Beca, welcome!” Mrs. Beale greets them quietly, stepping out into the hallway with them. Beca’s dad offers her a coffee which she accepts with a smile.

“Is she sleeping?” Beca asks nervously. She’d brought her laptop and a whole USB of her new mixes that she’d been working on to give her for this week.

“No, she’s watching TV. I just wanted to warn you about what she can and can’t do right now. Her doctor told me that the nodes were much more serious because she hadn’t paid attention to his warnings before. However, she should suffer no permanent damage as long as she rests properly. She’s not allowed to make a peep all week- no whining, no grumbling, no whispering, no singing, no mumbling, no  _ nothing _ .” Beca nods.

“So, does she have a whiteboard or something so she can communicate?” Mr. Mitchell asks. Beca fiddles with her fingers, feeling slightly like she was being scolded.

“Yes,” Mrs. Beale nods. “She can type things out on her phone or write them on the board, but she can’t speak. And she’s on a very strict diet, so don’t let her trick you into getting her a coffee, or food or anything. She’s eating warm broth, jello, and pudding for now. I’ve already told her that once the doctor clears it, I’ll take her out for a nice meal. But for now, no chocolate, no ice cream, no milk, no coffee, nothing hot, nothing she has to chew. If you have any questions about what she can and can’t do, you can ask me, okay?” Beca nods silently.

“Yes, Mrs. Beale,” Beca says softly. She feels like she’s in trouble and she hasn’t even gotten to see Chloe yet.

“Oh, Beca,” Mrs. Beale smiles. She squeezes Beca’s shoulder. “I told you to call me Amy. It’ll be fine, alright? You’re not in trouble, so stop looking like a kicked puppy.” Beca smiles gently.

“It’s just… a lot,” Beca sighs. 

“I know. And I don’t mean to be so scary about it but I know Chloe didn’t exactly follow all of the rules after her first appointment and I just… If she wants to be able to sing again, she has to follow them this time. And I know my girl and she loves to sing. Would give anything to be able to sing,” Mrs. Beale sighs. They stand there for a moment before Mrs. Beale smiles at her. “Ready to see her?” Beca smiles shyly, nodding. She pushes open the door.

“Chloe, your visitors have arrived,” Mrs. Beale calls into the room. They hear a thumping on wood. Beca rounds the corner into a small living room type set-up. “We got a suite so she could have her space and I could have mine,” Mrs. Beale explains to Mr. Mitchell. Beca steps into the side bedroom where she hears the TV playing.

“Chlo!” Beca grins happily. Her girlfriend waves enthusiastically from her spot in the center of the bed. She looks pale and her hair is in a messy bun. Chloe’s still wearing her pajamas, curled up under covers and surrounded by pillows as she leans up against the headboard. She waves wildly for Beca to come see her. She points to her mouth and puckers her lips. Beca just laughs. “Am I allowed to do that?” she asks. Chloe pouts before nodding. “Are you sure?” Chloe frowns, scrawling something on her board before turning it around

_ Ask my mom if you want _ , it read. Beca blushed.

“Yes, Beca, you can give her a kiss,” Mrs. Beale chuckles from the doorway. Beca jumped, blushing as she turned. “But, uh… keep is short and sweet. She can’t strain her throat,” she reminds her. “So, Mr. Mitchell and I will be in the little living room area if you need us. Remember the rules, Chloe.” Beca waits until Mrs. Beale leaves (making a point to leave the glass doors separating the rooms cracked open) before she goes to kiss Chloe.

“Hi,” Beca whispers, leaning over the bed to press a gentle kiss to Chloe’s lips. She’s pulling away when Chloe grunts, grabbing her jacket to keep Beca close. “Hey, no talking!” Beca laughs, disentangling herself. Chloe pouts, crossing her arms over her chest. “You know the rules. Now, scoot over so I can sit with you. I wanna watch some TV.”

 

A while later, Mr. Mitchell knocks, pushing the door open. Beca was giggling while Chloe just stuck her tongue out. Beca had kicked off her shoes and her jacket and was now sitting between Chloe and the headboard with Chloe sitting between her legs, back pressed against Beca’s front. They were barely even watching the TV anymore.

“Hey, dad, what’s up?” Beca asked with a smile. He just smiled at his daughter for a moment.

“Uh, I have some things to do back at my house. How long are you going to stay here?” 

“Uh… I don’t… I wasn’t, um…” Beca trails off, watching as Chloe writes something on her board. Beca glances down at it. “Mrs. Beale, Chloe wants to ask you if I can stay for lunch,” Beca calls out.

“Of course, dear,” Mrs. Beale replies.

“Uh, can I stay a little longer, dad? I’ll call you when I need a ride,” she offers. He nods, coming over to kiss the top of her head.

“Of course, kid. Just let me know when you’re ready,” he smiles. Awkwardly reaching out, he scratches at Chloe’s head affectionately before moving to squeeze her shoulder. Beca blushes in second-hand embarrassment. “Uh, see ya later, Chloe. Feel better, kid.” She smiles, waving as he exits. 

“I missed you yesterday,” Beca says after a moment. Chloe turns awkwardly to plant a kiss on Beca’s cheek. She hastily scrawls a message on her board.  _ I missed you too _ . “Pfft, you were unconscious for most of yesterday. Lucky duck. Yesterday sucked without you.”

_ You going soft on me, Becs? _ Chloe turns to smirk at her and Beca rolls her eyes.

“You’re mean,” Beca pouts.

_ Awww, you know I love you. And I missed you even while I was unconscious _ . She had to write small to fit it all on and Beca just grinned.

“Does it hurt?” she asks, resting her chin on Chloe’s shoulder. She watches while Chloe tilts her head, thinking for a moment before writing.

_ Yeah but they’ve given me pain meds.  _

“The good stuff?” Chloe just turns and grins, waggling her eyebrows before nodding. “Cool. So… What have you been doing since you got back here?” Chloe just shrugs, a sweeping gesture around the room as if to indicate that  _ this _ is exactly what she’d been doing all day. “Oh, kinda… boring. Bedrest sucks.” Chloe nods insistently. Beca huffs. She feels silly, like she’s having a conversation with herself even though she knows Chloe is responding. “Well maybe, like, when you’re better you can… What? What’s that?” Chloe is tapping her shoulder now, writing on the board.

_ Shhhh. This is my favorite part. _

“Wow, that’s nice,” Beca mutters. But she quiets down and holds Chloe tighter, hugging her and letting her watch the guy get the girl, even though they’ve seen the same plot line in each of the stupid TV movies they’d watched so far (and every TV movie ever, to be completely honest). It’s quiet and comfortable. They stay this way, quiet and comfortable and happy until Mrs. Beale comes in announcing lunchtime.

 

“So, I’ll come see you again,” Beca promises. Her dad was waiting down in the hotel lobby and then they were going home to make dinner together. Chloe nods. 

_ Soon? _ She writes on her board.

“As soon as your mom lets me back,” she winks. Leaning in, she gives Chloe a goodbye kiss, lingering this time. Just as she pulls back, she swipes at Chloe’s bottom lip with her tongue. Chloe inhales sharply, wincing. Beca puts on a concerned face and hands her water. “Bye, Chlo. Love you,” she whispers. She presses one more kiss into Chloe’s hairline before leaving. “Thank you, Mrs. Beale. I’ll see you sometime later this week,” she says. Mrs. Beale pulls her in for a hug.

“You’ll never call me Amy, will you, dear?” she laughs, releasing her and following her out to the hallway.

“Sorry… Amy?” Beca tries again, stiff and cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment.

“Oh, it’s alright, Beca.” She smiles, squeezing Beca’s shoulder. “Will I see you tomorrow?” Beca nods.

“Um, if… If that’s okay?”

“Of course it is. I was actually counting on it,” she says with a wink. She lowers her voice. “I have a few errands to run, but I was reluctant to leave Chloe alone. Think you can keep an eye on her for me?” Beca nods, smiling. “Good, then I will see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, see you tomorrow!” Beca calls out as she runs down the hall towards the elevator. Mrs. Beale smiles, waits until she steps into the elevator before closing the door. She can’t  _ wait _ to come back and see Chloe again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you guys for being patient. My semester just started a few weeks ago and I'm readjusting to being busy all the time. And on top of that, I've been dealing with a nasty stomach bug for the past few days. To reward your patience, I have decided to update all of my fics. Enjoy!


	36. Breaking the Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, Mrs. Beale just texted me. They’re going out for dinner tonight and she wants to invite us. You in the mood for Chinese food?” Aubrey asks, grinning. Beca was sitting at her desk, quickly covering the notebook in front of her with other papers. Aubrey chose not to comment, just raised a curious eyebrow.
> 
> “Yeah, sure,” Beca grinned. When Aubrey left to go take a shower, Beca frowned at her phone. How long had Chloe been out of her appointment? Beca knew that Chloe wasn’t glued to her phone and was under no obligation to text Beca immediately. But still, it kind of stung that it was nearly dinner time and she’d had no word from her girlfriend except for a snapchat of their rental car this morning.
> 
> “Just… let it go, Beca,” she murmured to herself before taking out the notebook and continuing what she was writing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! I know it's been a while since I've posted! I'm just struggling with an ending and my classes are all a lot harder this semester so I'm a little bit swamped! But don't worry, we are almost done with this story!

**Chapter 36: Breaking the Silence**

  
  


Beca goes back again.

And again.

And again.

She visits Chloe every day that Mrs. Beale allows it, which is every day. Some days, she only stays from breakfast until lunch or from lunch until dinner. Other days, she stayed from breakfast until late at night. Over the week, Beca watched Chloe improve and get stronger. After two days, they moved from the bed to the couch. After five days, they started going for short walks around the hotel hallways. But never much more than that. Beca once asked Mrs. Beale if they could go somewhere relaxing, like the aquarium but Mrs. Beale wanted her daughter to rest up so that she could heal.

“It’s fine, Chloe. I didn’t even really want to go to the aquarium. I just thought it might be nice for you to get out of the- no, stop writing. Don’t argue with me!” Beca’s laughing as she says it, trying to pull the whiteboard away from Chloe. Her girlfriend just tugs it out of reach before lightly hitting her with it. Beca just laughs again, settled back onto the couch while Chloe writes.

_ Get out _ .

“Excuse me?” Beca scoffs. Chloe rolls her eyes, erasing and continuing.

_ I want you to go and spend the last few days of vacation doing something fun. _ This is accompanied with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. 

“I’m having fun here,” Beca insists. Chloe rolls her eyes, huffing slightly as she erases and writes a new message.

_ Shut up, you know what I mean _ . Chloe punches Beca on the arm, pointing to the message.

“Do I?” Beca raises an eyebrow. Chloe switches to typing on her phone and Beca knows this means she’s going to get a long paragraph. Whenever it’s too much for the whiteboard, Chloe types it in a message, shows it to Beca and then deletes the message to type again. Beca just waits.

And waits.

And waits some more.

She starts to squirm as Chloe continues typing. She occasionally pauses, deletes something, makes a face as if she’s thinking about something, then types again. Beca fidgets with her fingers, wiggles her toes, tries to see over Chloe’s shoulder. Chloe scowls, shifting away to block Beca’s view until she’s good and ready. Finally, Chloe hands over the phone to Beca.

_ I want you to go and enjoy your February vacation. You’ve spent every single day here with me and we’ve already tried everything from room service. Go out and hang out with your dad or call your mom or write her a letter. Aubrey comes back tomorrow. Go see her. Do some homework. Make music. Do something other than sit here and watch TV with me. I’m exhausted and tired and I can’t speak and I’m cranky and it’s so much effort for me not to be bitchy to you the entire time you’re here. I’m not trying to be rude when I kick you out. I just want you to enjoy your break and not resent that you spent the entire time with me. _

“Chloe,” Beca says softly. Chloe stands, starts to walk back towards the bedroom. (Beca is glad Mrs. Beale went out to pick up some food from a restaurant across town; it would be extremely awkward to argue while she was there). Beca grabs Chloe by the wrist, turning her around. “Chloe, don’t leave,” she implores. Chloe sighs, bites her lip and sits back on the couch. Beca fidgets, unsure of how to start.

“I’ll leave. If you really want me to. If you want to rest, if you’re tired of not being grumpy, I’ll leave. But I don’t want to leave because I’m not resenting my time spent with you. I-I-I, um, I  _ like _ spending time with you. And my dad is always working, and I don’t- I don’t really know how to talk to my mom. Not sure what to say. I’ve finished my homework for the week and I make music every night before I go to sleep. I don’t want to do anything. So, just… Don’t kick me out because you don’t want me to resent spending time with you because I won’t. Kick me out because you want to hang out with Aubrey instead. Kick me out because you’re tired and want to sleep. Be bitchy to me if you want. Just have a better reason than that!” Beca rambles. Chloe huffs, affronted and scowling, but she softens as Beca speaks.

Tension crackles in the air as Beca waits for Chloe to decide.  _ Penny in the air _ , she thinks, remembering the times her mother used to say that. 

Beca sighs when Chloe intertwines their hands, pulling her closer. 

_ Stay _ , Chloe scrawls messily on her white board. Beca hums, curling into Chloe as they turn on the TV to watch more  _ Law and Order _ reruns.

_ And the penny drops, _ Beca smiles to herself.

 

Beca does spend the next day with Aubrey, though. Chloe was headed to a doctor’s appointment to check on the progress of her healing and determine if there was any permanent damage to her vocal range. Aubrey, meanwhile, was dropped off in the morning and would be staying with Beca tonight until the dorms reopened for students tomorrow.

“So, if I hadn’t offered, what would you have done?” Beca asks over lunch. Aubrey rolls her eyes.

“Well, I could have gotten a hotel room. My parents were prepared to book one. Or I could have gotten special permission to get back into the dorms early. You just made things a bit easier,” she explains. Beca nods. She squints, chewing the inside of her lip, considering her words carefully.

“So…” Beca pauses so long that Aubrey has to motion for her to continue with a lazy, annoyed wave of her hand. “So, why did you need to come back today? Why not fly back tomorrow with everyone else?” Aubrey’s expression darkens momentarily and Beca regrets asking.

“It’s cheaper,” she finally says. Beca wants to ask more questions (Is that the real reason? Why were her parents willing to pay for a hotel room but not shell out the extra money for the correct flight? Did Aubrey not get along with her parents?) but understands that Aubrey might not want to talk about it. Beca didn’t think she’d be particularly open if Aubrey started asking such weighted questions over chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. They finish eating in silence and Aubrey stands to help clean up.

“You don’t have to,” Beca protests. “You’re a guest.”

“Like my dad always said, ‘if you’re not offering your services, you’ll go to waste like a toboggan in Hell.’” Beca didn’t question the weird life lesson. She’d learned to just accept whatever wisdom Aubrey parroted from her father with a nod. They washed the dishes together before retiring silently in front of the TV.

 

“Hey, Mrs. Beale just texted me. They’re going out for dinner tonight and she wants to invite us. You in the mood for Chinese food?” Aubrey asks, grinning. Beca was sitting at her desk, quickly covering the notebook in front of her with other papers. Aubrey chose not to comment,  just raised a curious eyebrow. 

“Yeah, sure,” Beca grinned. When Aubrey left to go take a shower, Beca frowned at her phone. How long had Chloe been out of her appointment? Beca knew that Chloe wasn’t glued to her phone and was under no obligation to text Beca immediately. But still, it kind of stung that it was nearly dinner time and she’d had no word from her girlfriend except for a snapchat of their rental car this morning.

“Just… let it go, Beca,” she murmured to herself before taking out the notebook and continuing what she was writing.

 

Mr. Mitchell dropped the girls at the door to the Chinese restaurant before going to park the car, having given in to Mrs. Beale’s insistence that he accompany the girls. Beca fidgeted, adjusting her white knit beanie and unzipping her coat nervously before quickly zipping it up again as she followed Aubrey into the lobby.

Beca was staring in slack-jawed awe at the red carpets, the gold designs on the columns and the many portraits on the walls. She associates Chinese food with cheap takeout but this seems to be a classy restaurant with an authentic feel to it and Beca feels underdressed. The food smells richer, more wholesome and real. She’s so busy studying the environment that she almost doesn’t see Mrs. Beale and Chloe standing near the host’s desk.

“Hello, girls. Where’s your father, Beca? I hope he didn’t change his mind,” Mrs. Beale asks.

“He’s parking the car,” Beca explained as Aubrey hugged Chloe tight, both girls swaying back and forth as if they hadn’t seen each other in months rather than days. There’s an ugly twist in Beca’s gut and she forces the twinge of jealousy away.  _ They’re friends. You know that. Chloe loves you, so stop being an idiot _ , she chastises herself.

“Ah, good. Well, we’re just waiting on one more,” she turns to talk to the host and Aubrey steps away, allowing Beca a moment to just look at her girlfriend. Her eyes are lowered and her shoulders hunched. There’s an indescribable sadness surrounding Chloe, so she pulls her in for a tight hug. She kisses the spot just below Chloe’s ear.

Without thinking, she whispers, “I love you no matter what the doctor said.”  When she pulls away, Chloe’s eyes are wet with tears. Chloe twists her fingers into Beca’s shirt and pulls her in to kiss her. It’s desperate but soft.

“I love you, too,” Chloe exhales against Beca. Excited, Beca pulls away to beam at Chloe.

“You can talk now!” she squeals (though she’ll deny it was a squeal to anyone who asked; it was a much more dignified sound than that). To her great surprise, Chloe pulls away, bites her lip and tears slip down her cheek. Beca is about to ask when her dad walks in and there’s a flurry of movement as the host takes them to their table, they all attempt to settled themselves and a waitress comes over to introduce herself. By the time it is quiet again and Beca looks over to Chloe, squeezing her hand under the table, Chloe is smiling gently as she looks over the menu, all traces of sadness carefully hidden behind a mask.

 

It takes until the fortune cookies come out for Chloe’s mask to fall.

She’d spent the evening smiling politely and speaking in hushed tones while constantly sipping on her water. Chloe ate and she smiled and laughed at all the right moments but when Beca tried to hold her hand under the table or intertwine their fingers, Chloe pulled away. When Beca tried to nudge her with her foot or play footsie, Chloe ignored her and scooted her chair further away. Beca didn’t know what she had done wrong. 

But then Chloe opened her fortune cookie and sniffed before excusing herself to the bathroom and Mrs. Beale told her what happened at the doctor’s. Beca, feeling like a guilty, selfish piece of shit, ran after Chloe to try and comfort her. 


	37. Can You Hear It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca goes after Chloe to find out what's wrong.

**Chapter 37: Can You Hear It?**

  
  


“Chloe?” Beca follows Chloe into the restaurant bathroom. The faux-mahogany stall door is just swinging shut and Beca hears the click of the lock. She isn’t quite sure what to do and leans against the shiny, dark black countertop and listens to Chloe sniffling for a moment before she speaks again. “Chlo, I know you’re in there.”

“Go ‘way,” Chloe mumbled, her voice thick and deep. Beca moves, awkwardly going to stand in front of the stall door. She leans one palm against it, staring down at her shoes as she talks.

“I’m not going anywhere, Chloe. I mean- I don’t wanna smother you or anything. But you’re upset and I want you to know I’m here for you.” Beca begins to pace, nervously gesturing with her hands. “I- You know I’m here for you, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Chloe mumbles. Beca sighs in relief. 

“Good. So, do you wanna talk about what got you so upset?” Beca ventures.

“N-not really,” Chloe squeaks and Beca can hear the wince in her voice. She’s about to ask what’s wrong when the door opens and a middle-aged woman comes in. She raises an eyebrow at Beca, gesturing to the open stall in a clear question. Beca shakes her head and moves toward the sink, washing her hands and splashing some water on her face. She awkwardly considers leaving but then the woman is washing her hands, giving Beca a tight, awkward smile before she leaves.

“Chlo, come on. At least come out so I don’t look like I’m having this awkward conversation with a door?” Beca tries for a joking, teasing tone but she’s not sure it really translates. There’s a pause, a beat of silence. And then the lock is clicking and the door is opening and Beca is smiling at Chloe. “See? Much better,” Beca grins. Chloe smiles weakly, moving to the mirror to stop and wipe the faint mascara streaks from her cheeks.

“I’m fine. Just… I’m fine, now,” Chloe insists. Her voice is gruff, deeper than normal.

“Are you? Because most people don’t cry when they open their fortune cookie,” Beca challenges. Chloe pouts slightly, looking down at the crumpled slip of paper in her hand. She scrunches her hand into a fist before tossing it in the garbage. Beca takes a step forward, holding Chloe’s hands. “Please, Chlo. I love you and I just want to help you. Let me help, please?” Chloe’s lower lip wobbled for a moment and her blue eyes glimmered with the beginnings of tears before Chloe threw herself at Beca, burying her face in the crook of Beca’s neck.

“Whoa,” she yelped in surprise, her arms immediately tightening to hug Chloe. She holds her, rubbing circles on her back and sways back and forth slightly. “What’s going on, Chlo?”

“The nodes were… so big and so… So big. And when he went in to look at them, he removed them. And he thought… It should have been good. But he looked at my throat earlier and… There might be some scarring. So I can’t… He said I may not be able to sing above a g-sharp. Like, ever,” Chloe stammers out, sniffling again.

“Oh, Chloe,” Beca sighs, squeezing her tighter again.

“I just… I was hoping I could sing again next year.”

“I know, babe. And you still can sing, just not… not as high, right? Maybe you could… sing the mezzo parts instead of the soprano? Or, you could… Well, see, when you were in your surgery, I was really bored and kind of… well, nervous? Don’t laugh. Stacie kinda laughed-”

“I’m not laughing. It’s sweet,” Chlor smiles softly. Beca pauses, pulling back to look at her, raising an eyebrow. “It is!” Chloe insists. Beca just laughs, moving her hands to hold Chloe’s elbows, thumbs rubbing soothing circles and smiling at her before blushing.

“So, um, yeah I was a little nervous I guess. And so I did some reading about nodes and it said that most doctors will send you to, like, vocal therapy? Did the doctor say anything about that? Maybe it’ll help.” Beca shrugs, embarrassment tinging her cheeks pink as Chloe beams at her.

“You were nervous… so you did research? Geez, Aubrey must be rubbing off on you, nerd,” she teases. Beca rolls her eyes. After biting her lip, Chloe’s smile slips and she meets Beca’s eyes again. “But no, I kind of… stopped listening when he said I might not be able to hit the high notes.”

“Chloe, you need to listen when your doctor is telling you important information!” Beca doesn’t mean to sound like she’s chastising Chloe but this is important if Chloe ever wants to sing again.

“I know,” Chloe sighs. “I just… I wanna be able to sing again. Like before. I really loved being a soprano. Alice used to tell me the only reason they kept me was… was because I could hit the high notes. And I know she’s gonna be gone next year, but still… I just… Singing is who I am. I don’t really… Know what I’d do without it?” Beca just bites her lip, pulls Chloe in for another hug.

“Even if you can’t hit the highest notes, I know you’ll be great. Because they don’t just need those high notes, they need  _ all _ the notes and… stuff… But, even if for some odd reason you sound like a dying cat- which you won’t!- then it won’t change how anyone feels about you. It certainly won’t change how I feel because… you’re you. And you’re amazing, Chloe.” Beca shrugs awkwardly when Chloe pulls out of the hug to look at her. And her eyes are swimming with tears again but Beca thinks it’s good this time, happy tears. When Chloe kisses her, she can taste salt on her lips.

“Ew, guys. In the bathroom? Really?” Aubrey sighs. They jumped apart like they’d been burned. Neither girl had heard the door opening or was prepared for Aubrey appearing, scowling and wrinkling her nose.

“Sorry, Bree. She was just so cute, I couldn’t resist,” Chloe grins, winking at a blushing, scowling Beca. “Now, let’s get back out there. I wanna see if my mom will take us to that diner a few blocks away from school. I’ve really been craving their chocolate drizzle cake.” Aubrey just rolls her eyes, hugging Chloe with one hand as they walk back out to the table.

 

Over the weekend the campus returns to life. People move back into the dorms and classes begin again on Monday as if nothing has changed. People still glare at Beca and Alice is still a bitch to Chloe. Aubrey and Stacie still compete in classes and extracurricular activities even though they’ve started dating officially (though quietly since Aubrey wasn’t big on more PDA than hand-holding and chaste kisses).

Nothing has changed so why does Beca feel so different?

 

On Monday, Beca is told to go to the office after her last class. The kids in her English class all “ooh” and titter when Mr. Mitchell hangs up the class phone and delivers the message. He shushes them quickly while Chloe shoots Beca a concerned glance which Beca brushes off with a wave, fighting off the nervous flutter of her heart.

Why did she need to go to the office? Was she in trouble? What could she have possibly done? Sure, she glared at Donald when he elbowed her in the hall but that was nothing. Did he complain? Were some of Amber’s friends making up lies to get her in trouble? Did she do something that could get her expelled? Oh God, maybe her mom died. Her mom is dead or maybe her grandparents. 

Beca spends the rest of her day on the brink of a panic attack, trying to figure out what she could have done wrong or what disaster could have happened to require her going to the office.

“Beca, please, let me go with you. I can sit outside and wait for you,” Chloe offers. She had, of course, noticed how tense Beca had been- it was hard  _ not _ to. But now, the day had finally ended and Beca was heading towards the office so that her anxiety would  _ hopefully  _ be calmed.

“No, Chloe, I’m fine. You’ve got to go to that meeting with the Bellas to see about getting back on the team for next year. I’ll be fine. I promise I will come see you later. And we will… We’ll kiss and we’ll... Celebrate you being back and this will all be fine, I promise. I  _ promise _ ,” Beca insists. Maybe if she says it enough, she can start to believe it.

“Are you sure?” Chloe is hesitant, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth as she searches Beca’s face for any hint of hesitation.

“Mmm… Not exactly. Kinda freaking out over all of this, like… What did I do? Why are they calling me here? Makes me a little nervous, but you sitting outside won’t really do anything to make me less nervous right now,” Beca answers honestly. Chloe squeezes her hand.

“Babe, it’s probably just… Maybe the school wants to officially apologize for what happened with Amber?” Chloe suggests, pulling Beca by the hand towards the office. If she can’t stay to keep Beca company, she’ll at the least walk her all the way there.

“Yeah, I hope so,” Beca sighs. All too soon, she’s standing just outside of the office. She huffs, turns to face Chloe. “Meet me back at my room after you meet with the Bellas?”

“Of course, babe. Text me to let me know you’re alive. Love you,” Chloe whispers, hugging Beca quickly. She kisses her on the cheek before she starts to leave. Beca just grabs her shoulder and spins her back around before hugging her tighter and giving her a proper kiss.

“Love you, see ya later,” Beca murmurs. A stupid grin on her face, Chloe turns and practically skips away. Beca watches her until she’s out of sight before turning, squaring her shoulders, and heading into Mr. Meisner’s office.


	38. The Verdicts Are In

**Chapter 38: Consequences**

  
  


“Miss Mitchell, I’m ADA Webber- Hayley. I’m in charge of your case and I wanted to talk to you about what’s going on,” the woman says. Beca nods and shakes the woman’s hand. They’re sitting in a small meeting room off of the offices. Beca’s dad was waiting for her when she arrived and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“Uh… Okay. You’re… You mean the case against Annalise and Amber and, uh, Adam, right?” Beca asks, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

“Yes, I do. So, basically, we’ve got them dead to rights. We’ve got incontrovertible proof that they produced and distributed those photos, naked photos of you. That’s a felony. We have been working with their lawyers and negotiating a plea deal. They’re going to sign it tomorrow.”

“What- a plea deal? They get off?” Beca shouts. “You’re letting them get away with- with making my life hell? With sending around those pictures of me? What if they end up online!? They can’t- they can’t just get away with it!”

“Beca, Becs, let the woman talk,” her dad says softly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry,” Beca huffs, crossing her arms and slumps back down in her chair. ADA Webber smiles at her.

“To answer your question, no they’re not getting away with anything. A plea deal just means they agree to plead guilty. It spares you a trial. No jury will ever see the photos, they’ll stay locked up in evidence, and you won’t have to testify. It also helps that we have more than enough evidence to prove it. Aspiring criminal masterminds, they are not.” She winks at Beca, who smirks in response.

“So, what are they pleading guilty to?” Beca asks.

“Well, each is a bit different depending on what they did. Possession, production, and distribution of child pornography, basically, though. They’ll serve a minimum of five years but no more than ten. They’ll serve it in a juvenile detention center. If their record remains clear ten years after their release, it will be expunged from their juvenile record,” Hayley explains.

“So… They’re going to prison?” Beca just blinks. She’s not quite sure how to feel about that. Is she supposed to feel… happy? Justified? Beca doesn’t know. Part of her feels a little guilty. Part of her feels… vindictively  _ gleeful _ that they’ve gotten their comeuppance. Is she a terrible person for feeling that?

“They are. And they’re going to plead guilty in open court tomorrow, if you’d like to come. It’s not closure, exactly. And you would be missing your morning classes. But it could, possibly, help you.”

“I… I can watch them… admit it? D’you think… Will they explain… why?” Beca tries to make herself smaller, like it’ll protect her. Because she wants to know why  _ her _ . Why did they do this to  _ her _ ? She wants to know but she’s afraid because the only possible answer is because she’s different- because they think there’s something  _ wrong _ with her.

“It’s part of the agreement. They have to allocute- explain exactly what they did and why. Do you think you might want to go?” Beca nods before she even finishes the question. She doesn’t know why; it’s like her body does it without her permission. Because she  _ isn’t _ sure she wants to go, not at all. “Alright. Well, it starts at nine AM tomorrow morning in courtroom three. If you get lost, just ask for Judge Donnelly's courtroom. And I recommend you arrive early so you can get through security and everything. I can give your dad all of the details.”

“Yeah- yes,”  Mr. Mitchell nods. He glances over at his daughter and squeezed her shoulder. “Do you have any questions, Becs?”

“Uh… n-no,” Beca whispers. 

“Okay, why don’t you go- go back to your room or your friends. I’ll handle all the details. You go… Relax. Or do your homework. I’ll settle things, find out where we go tomorrow, get your work from teachers. You go, hmm?” Beca nods, stands on shaky legs and puts her coat back on, ready to make her way back to her dorm. 

 

“I want to go with you,” Chloe insists as soon as Beca finishes telling her.

“Chlo, I’m not even sure I’m going.” Beca’s still whispering, unable to look directly at Chloe for too long. She’s fidgety, wiggling her toes and clenching her fists and squirming in her seat on the bed. Chloe, meanwhile, is still as a statue, patient and waiting for Beca to gather her thoughts. “I just… I can’t imagine looking at them. And listening to them talk about how they did this to me because it was a joke, because I’m different, because I’m a  _ freak _ .”

“Beca, babe, you’re  _ not _ -”

“I know that,” Beca insists roughly, shoving herself to her feet. She paces, unable to calm her racing mind. Part of her wonders, briefly, if this is what her mother feels like, if she’s going to go crazy, too. “I know- I know that. I know I’m not a freak. In- in my head, I know. But when people look at me like that, when I look at the world right now, when I remember that they felt like they could do this to me because I was different, it’s hard to know that I’m  _ not _ . Does that make sense?”

“I think it makes perfect sense,” Chloe says gently, watching Beca from the bed. “If you do decide to go, I want to go with you,” she amends after a moment of silence.

“You don’t have-”

“You didn’t have to visit me every day over break, but you did. I want to be there for you, Beca. I love you, and I want to be there. Please?” Chloe pats the spot on the bed next to her and Beca practically falls onto it, resting her head on Chloe’s shoulder. “Okay,” Chloe whispers. She kisses the top of Beca’s head and wraps one arm around her shoulders. “You’re okay.” They sit like that for a while, quiet and just existing together before Beca clears her throat and announces they have homework.

 

“All rise for the honorable Judge Donnelly,” the bailiff calls. Beca stands.

The courtroom feels bigger… Bigger than Beca expected. The walls are paneled with dark wood and the judge’s bench sits high above. As the old man sits down and allows everyone else to, Beca tries to draw her gaze away from Annalise, Amber, and Adam. They’re sitting at one table with three other people, presumably their lawyers. Annalise had only briefly glanced at Beca when they walked in before refusing to turn around again. Adam was staring at his hands, scowling and Amber had refused to look back.

“You good?” Chloe whispers in her ear as the formal proceedings for the court begin. The bailiff reads out the case number and other things and Beca nods, focussing on the clicking of the court stenographer’s typewriter. Chloe just squeezes her hand. Beca turns to smile at her briefly.

“I understand there’s a plea agreement in place?” The judge asks. Beca breathes deeply and Chloe squeezes her hand again. Her father, sitting on her other side, taps her knee. She reaches for his hand, holding him too.

“Yes, your honor,” ADA Webber answers. Beca tunes out the formalities, closing his eyes as the judge makes sure they fully understand what they’re saying. It sounds like something on a crime show, Beca figures. This can’t possibly be her life.

“Well then, Ms. Rivers, you may begin your allocution,” the judge declares. Beca’s eyes snap open and she watches as Annalise stands. She unfolds a piece of paper with shaking hands and begins to read from it.

“Um, on December 18, I was in the pool locker room at my school, Barden Preparatory Academy. It was the first day of our swimming unit. When we were changing, I yanked open the curtain on another student and took pictures of her. It was supposed to be a joke.”

“Why did you choose this specific victim?” ADA Webber asked.

“She’s… She’s gay. And we don’t want… I was raised as a good Christian girl and what she is- people like her are wrong. I wanted- I guess I just wanted to embarrass her and make her feel… a little humiliated, I guess,” Annalise shrugs, squirming under the judge’s scrutiny.

“And then what happened?” Judge Donnelly prompts.

“I… I was asked by Ms. Wells to give her the picture. She said she had plans for it, to make Beca… To make Beca break up with her girlfriend. She’s my cousin’s best friend and really popular, so I sent it to her. I just wanted Beca to- to be normal, I guess. But I realize that this was a foolish, childish mistake and I really hurt people.” Annalise pauses, half turning so she can see Beca, too. Her voice takes on an earnest quality, practically pleading. “And I know this won’t mean much to you, but I really… I am sorry about all of this.” Beca just breathes deeply, closing her eyes for a moment.

“The prosecution accepts this testimony,” ADA Webber says, nodding.

“Alright then, Mr. Johnson, please rise and allocute,” the judge says, gesturing at him while Annalise sits back down.

“Uh, I… Amber is my f-friend. I’ve known her since we were in fourth grade. On January twentieth, she asked me how to send an email from an account that’s not hers. I asked why, she said it was for a prank. Then she asked how to send it to everyone in the system. I never actually saw what she was sending, I just showed her how to do it. And then I walked away. I- I heard whispers about what she was going to do and how it involved Beca Mitchell. And I wish I had known, I wish I had said no,” he said, reading everything off the paper.

“So, you’re saying you knew absolutely  _ nothing _ about the contents of the email? You didn’t help her attach it, help her make sure that it couldn’t be traced back to her?” Hayley Webber asks.

“I didn’t. I’m not some super hacker from a movie. I just… I know some stuff about computers. And I didn’t have to show her how to attach the photo because everyone knows how to attach photos. So I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to help, but all I did was hand her the tools to do it,” he said, frowning. Beca just leans into her dad’s shoulder and pulls Chloe closer. With them on either side of her she feels grounded, she feels safe.

“Does the prosecution find this allocution satisfactory?” Judge Donnelly raises his eyebrow.

“Yes, your honor.”

“Ms. Amber Wells, please rise. The court will now hear  _ your _ allocution.” The chair scrapes roughly against the floor as she stands, smoothing the paper down on the table in front of her.

“I… I was the one who sent the emails. I don’t like Beca Mitchell. She’s a freak and she’s unnatural and I don’t like her. Y’know, gay people are going to hell or whatever. But to each their own, I guess. As long as it’s not in front of me and they keep it to themselves- no, let me  _ speak _ ,” she hisses when the attorney at her side whispers at her. “But Beca insisted on being public, being obvious about it. And I wanted her to stop. I was talking to my friend Alice about it and her cousin mentioned that she had this  _ picture _ of Beca from the showers.

“So, I had her send me the picture and I made my plan. I asked Adam to help me with the technical aspects and I didn’t tell him about anything else. Then I confronted Beca, warned her to stop.I had been sending her notes to make her stop. Anonymous notes. Finally, on the afternoon of January twenty-eighth, I sent her a final note warning her to break up with her girlfriend and implied I would send out the picture. Beca went to confront Annalise, thinking she was sending the notes. When Annalise warned me Beca was going to the administration, I sent it out early.” She stops, looks up at the judge. Webber shakes her head and clears her throat before speaking.

“And you did this because… she’s a lesbian?”

“Yes, I wanted her to be… less conspicuous,” Amber says.

“Do you have any remorse for what you’ve done? Do you understand the seriousness of what you did in sending out those pictures?”

“I… I wish this hadn’t happened and I get that it’s a felony. Am I done?” she says, a little alarmed, a little nervous, a little aggravated.

“Prosecution accepts the plea,” ADA Webber sighs.

“Alright then. Ms. Wells, please sit. Ms. Rivers, stand to hear my ruling.” Annalise stands and Beca has to bite her lip, tucking her chin into her chest and squeezing her dad and girlfriend’s hands as she tries to bite back a sob. Annalise Rivers, you have pled guilty to the felony of production and possession of child pornography. As per your plea arrangement, you will serve a period of no less than five years but no more than ten. You will be held in a juvenile facility until your twenty-first birthday or until your sentence is over. I am adding one condition to your arrangement. You will complete a tolerance course while incarcerated. After your sentence, if you keep a clean record, this will be expunged from your record. You may be seated.”

“Do you want to leave?” Mr. Mitchell whispers in his daughter’s ear.

“Not yet,” she replies. She just squirms, shifting to sit up straight. She wants to see this, wants to face this with her head held high.

“Mr. Johnson, rise. You have admitted to being an accessory to the distribution and possession of child pornography. You will serve a period no less than two years but not to exceed six. You will be housed in a juvenile facility until your twenty-first birthday. You will also be completing the tolerance courses. If you keep a clean record after your release, this will be expunged. Be seated.” Amber turns around briefly, narrows her eyes at Beca. Beca just glares at her, feeling powerful, feeling stronger.

“Ms. Wells, rise. I am amending your plea agreement due to your absolute lack of remorse or compassion. You have pled guilty to possession and distribution of child pornography. You show no remorse for the victim. You will spend a period of no less than seven years and no more than fifteen. You will be in a juvenile facility until your twenty-first birthday, at which point you will be transferred to an adult facility for the remainder of your sentence. You will be required to attend sexuality tolerance training. You will undergo therapy to ensure that the courses are taking root. If they are not working, you will take them  _ again _ . I am horrified that you don’t seem to care that you send out nude images of a minor to thousands of people, including adults, including parents, including  _ teachers _ . If your record stays clean after your release for ten years, this will be expunged. Sit down Ms. Wells. This trial is over. I’m calling a recess while they bring in the next case.” He bangs the gavel and starts to leave.

“Mommy, I’m  _ sorry _ ,” Annalise whimpers, turning to hug a woman over the bar. She’s crying and so is her mother and the man standing next to them, patting them both on the shoulder. Parents and families are crying as their children are being ripped away (gently guided by the court officers) to a side door. And Beca feels…  _ guilty _ . She feels guilty and angry and afraid so she stands, pushes past people and runs out of the courtroom. Because she doesn’t want to feel this anymore.

So she rushes through the halls of the courthouse until she finds a bathroom so she can throw up and get rid of this churning in her stomach. Her stomach is churning because, in addition to guilt and anger and fear, Beca feels  _ happy _ . She is happy that families are ripped apart and children are going to jail because it feels like  _ justice _ and it feels like  _ freedom _ . It feels good and that makes Beca miserable, so she locks herself into the bathroom stall and throws up until all she feels is empty.


	39. In the End

**Chapter 39: In the End**

  
  


“Beca, can I come in?” Chloe asks a few minutes later.

“Mhmm,” she groans, still kneeling on the floor of the bathroom stall. Chloe approaches carefully, putting a hand on Beca’s shoulders. She squeezes them gently to try and ease her girlfriend’s tension. Beca just whines.

“Let’s get you some water,” she mumbles, switching one hand to rub her back. Beca stands on shaky legs and cups water from the sink to rinse out her mouth. Beca spends a few minutes rinsing her mouth out and washing her hands before interlacing their fingers and smiling at Chloe weakly. “You’ll understand if I kiss you on the cheek instead of the mouth right now, right?” Beca rolls her eyes, smirking.

“I guess,” she mutters in response. Chloe just beams and kisses her cheek.

“Now, let’s go. Maybe we can get brunch or something with your dad before we go back to the school?” she suggests. Beca shrugs, not really feeling too hungry. All she knows is that right now she wants to lie down and stop feeling this weird guilt and hatred and anger. Because she can still see in her mind’s eye the way that the families cried as they were pulled apart. All she can hear is Annalise crying and apologizing. And it  _ hurts her _ because she is  _ happy _ that they are going to jail and  _ what kind of person is happy to cause that much pain _ ?

She doesn’t eat much at brunch.

 

“Are you- actually, that’s a stupid question. You’re clearly not okay. Do you wanna talk about it?” Beca is sitting in the middle of her bed when Aubrey arrives, curled up and watching Netflix. The dean had excused Beca from her classes for the day due to her ‘emotional distress’ from the trial. Chloe had gone to her afternoon classes after Beca insisted and she spent the rest of the afternoon watching old episodes of  _ Parks and Rec _ , trying not to feel like a terrible person. But clearly she still looked like hell, so fuck it.

“Am I awful for being happy about the outcome of the trial?” Her voice is rough, thick and heavy with the effort of not crying for hours. “I was in the court, watching their parents all crying and… I was  _ happy _ . What does that say about me?” Her lower lip wobbles now and she feels pathetic but she just wants to cry all over again. Immediately, Aubrey drops her bag, crosses the room and plops herself on Beca’s bed and squeezes her hands.

“It’s okay. It’s okay to feel good even though they feel bad. They have hurt you and they did bad things and  _ you are allowed to want justice _ .” Beca scrunches up her face to try and prevent the tears from slipping down her cheeks- she’s not sure she can make them stop once they start. Aubrey just pulls Beca in for a hug, holding her tight. “It’s like my dad always said: the good feel guilt while the bad feel wronged. But that’s the way justice works.”

“It’s okay?” Beca knows she must sound like a child, her nose plugged up with tears running down her cheeks and snot coming out of her nose and her hands are shaking but Aubrey is holding her tight, she’s holding her  _ together _ . 

“It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Aubrey just keeps repeating the words, over and over again, holding her while she falls apart. 

 

The next day, there’s an article in all of the local newspapers (and it’s started to be picked up by other major news outlets) about the homophobic cyberbullying and the mass distribution of Beca’s naked picture- though they kept all names and images out of the articles- has started to circulate. It’s all everyone can talk about. Everyone is staring at Beca and everyone is whispering behind hands and everyone is watching her. She overhears many conversations; people at Barden apparently aren’t very good at whispering.

_ “That’s her, right?” _

_ “Yeah, she’s the one from the picture. Didn’t you look at it?” _

_ “Only for like, two seconds before I realized what it was and I deleted it. Jeez, Kenzie, did you study it?” _

_ “Shut up, it’s not like that. I was just curious. Plus, everyone’s talking about Beca Mitchell.” _

Beca put her headphones in and walked faster to get away from those girls. But then she was in the library and took her headphones out (the librarian always insisted that loud music could be heard through the headphones so Beca was forced to take them out) and she found more people talking about her.

_ “Man, you heard that Amber’s in jail until she’s like, twenty five?” _

_ “That sucks, dude.” _

_ “Tell me about it! I was going to take her to prom and get a hotel room after.” _

_ “Please, like she would’ve said yes to you.” _

_ “She might’ve! Now we’ll never know because of  _ her _.” _ Beca glances up from her history textbook to find the boy glaring at her, his friend just looking curiously. She furiously looks back down at the book and they continue their whispered conversation.

_ “Yeah, it’s all her fault. If not for her, Amber would still be here and go to prom with me.” _

_ “Dude, Amber still wouldn’t go to prom with you.” _

_ “Well now we’ll never know. If she hadn’t been such a freak-” _ Beca stands up now, unable to listen to this any longer. The boys stop immediately and stare as Beca packs her things away, fuming silently. As she turns to leave, she pauses, glares over her shoulder.

“Just so you know, I didn’t do a  _ damn _ thing. I didn’t even testify. I didn’t do  _ anything _ to them,” she hissed indignantly before turning on her heel and walking out to go do her homework in Chloe’s room. (And maybe, if Melissa wasn’t there, homework won’t be the only thing she’s doing).

 

A few days later, just when Beca has gotten  _ fed up _ with the whispers, there’s an assembly in the afternoon. Beca overheard someone mention that they’d never had this many all school assemblies since this year and she feels a twinge of embarrassment and shifts on her feet as she follows the crowd into the bleachers.

“It’s fine, babe. But the story is in the news so they have to make a statement,” Chloe whispers in her ear as they shuffle forward. Beca nods jerkily. She focuses on her shoes, fiddling with her phone while the other students get settled in the bleachers and Mr. Meisner steps up to the podium to speak. Beca can hear only a roaring in her ears as it gets harder to breathe. She knows this is about her. She knows everything is because of her and  _ it’s not her fault _ but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to sit here and listen to him talk about tolerance and acceptance and equality. Chloe’s gentle grip on her hand is the only thing that Beca can focus on as she tries to calm herself.

“Do you wanna take a minute? Go get some air?” Chloe breathes into her ear. Beca shakes her head, knowing it would cause more of a spectacle for her to stand and leave in the middle of the assembly, knowing everyone’s eyes would be tracking her, would be whispering about her and she knew that would do more harm than the potential good that getting air would do. “Okay,” Chloe replies. She wants to kiss Beca’s temple but knows that when Beca’s like this- nervous and jumpy with eyes constantly roving, watching for everyone else’s reactions to them, the PDA would not be appreciated. 

So Chloe just squeezes her hand again and smiles warmly at her. Beca gets lost in the feeling, for a moment, lost in the feeling of Chloe’s hand on hers. She steadies her breathing to try and match the pulse she feels thrumming through Chloe’s fingertips. When she does, she looks up at Chloe, smiling at her before turning to pay attention to the rest of the assembly. Clearly she had zoned out for quite a while because Mr. Meisner was sitting down now and the school’s pastor, a short old man with little tufts of white hair and big, circular glasses. Beca’s never seen him up close but he stoops a little as he leans over the podium, reading from his notes.

“...For we are all children of God and He makes no mistakes in his wisdom. In Romans 11:1, we read, ‘I say the, God has not rejected His people, has He? May it never be! For I too am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham, of the tribe of Benjamin.’” He pauses, looks up from the podium. “On a more recent note, our own Pope has declared ‘if someone is gay and searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?’ Brothers and sisters, who are we to judge? Who are we to say that we know better than the Pope, better than God Himself? It is not our right to decide how other people live, nor is it our place to judge them for who they love.” 

Beca turns to find Chloe blushing and beaming down at the podium. Beca remembers now the way that Chloe grew up with religion, the way it was her family, how it was one of the cornerstones of her identity. Even after they came out and the school started to shun them, Chloe went to church. They hadn’t discussed it often, but Beca knew Chloe had struggled somewhat with reconciling her sexuality with her religion. Beca wondered if this would help or if Chloe had already thought of all these things.

“Babe, you good?” Beca whispers. Chloe turns and nods, eyes starting to water slightly. Feeling brave, Beca leans in to kiss her cheek. “Love you,” she whispers. And she knows that there’s so many other people around and they’re in such close quarters that it doesn’t matter how quiet Beca is being because everyone can hear everyone right now. She knows people are watching, people are listening. But she doesn’t care because she has Chloe. She has a girl who she loves and Beca loves her just as much.

And yeah, her school year had been kind of shitty so far. She’s had some rough times and this assembly wasn’t going to erase all of the pain or do much to change the heteronormativity and homophobia in this school (or society). Beca’s certain she’ll keep getting dirty looks but she doesn’t care, as long as she has Chloe by her side. Because Chloe makes her brave. 

So when a single tear slips down Chloe’s cheek and her cheeks blush bright red and her entire face is smiling, Beca just moves her chin with one finger, turning her head until CHloe is facing her. “I love you, too,” Chloe exhales. And Beca smiles because she knows. And Beca smiles as she kisses Chloe’s mouth. And Beca knows she will keep kissing her, no matter who’s around, as long as Chloe will let her. 

And Chloe is just fine with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it! I really hope you guys enjoyed! If you did, drop a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
